| A
female
age
18-21,
anonymous
writes: Ok, this is kind of a stupid question. First of all, I don't live in America nor do I live in Europe. In the country I live in, men are obsessed with big breasts. They are just ideal - real or fake, they're just considered better than small ones. Honestly, men prefer fake breasts over small ones. Sure, most men don't mind if their partners have small breasts, but just that "don't mind". It's not that they like small breasts better, like some American or European men do. It's just that they settle because they can't just ask their partners to enlarge their breasts.I know it sounds a bit extreme, of course men are not thinking "boobs" all they long, but when it comes to boobs, big is better. Men around here are into very curvy women, so having a big butt and a small waist is also ideal. Guys around here don't really like women like Paris Hilton, but Kim Kardashian would be a huge hit. That's the type of women like here.As you can guess, I have small breasts that won't grow anymore. Sometimes I think about saving money to get a boob job - it's too expensive though, risky and I'd be embarrassed to spend that kind of money on something so vain (especially if I ever have a daughter - how would I explain that?). All men I've been with have liked big breasts better, even my boyfriend. He has never said anything disrespectful, but I know for a fact that he prefers big boobs, and I find this a bit hard to deal with. He likes Scarlett Johansson, Salma Hayek, Monica Bellucci, etc., etc... I feel so jealous when they're on screen, or whenever a busty female shows off what they have when we're out! Guys just can't help but look at big breasts. And I feel so inferior and inadequate that sometimes I just feel like saving that money and getting them done. But that conflicts with me.I have honestly never met a guy who prefers small breasts (AA- B range), as they all like big ones better (C, D, DD, etc.). Sigh, how can I ignore this fetish that guys have and try to feel sexy and beautiful? Honestly, it's so hard, since I'm lacking in this department and small breasts just don't cut it. Even national high-fashion models get them enlarged (unlike in other countries). I know it sounds stupid and extreme that I suffer over having small breasts, but knowing that guys just "don't mind them" doesn't make me feel better, like if they would prefer them. And i'm way past puberty, so no growth spurts left! I don't want a man to not mind my body, I want them to be absolutely thrilled and to lust after me like they lust after chesty girls! I wish my boyfriend would see me the same as he sees Scarlett or Monica...I hate my breasts, I just don't know what to do to feel better and was wondering if maybe you guys could help me a bit in gaining confidence and ignoring this craze??
View related questions:
boobs, breasts, confidence, gain confidence, jealous, money Reply to this Question |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
male
reader, Flashy  +, writes (23 October 2009):
I've had a number of intimate partners of a wide variety of different shaped and sized breasts.By far, the sexiest woman I was ever with had AA sized breasts. She was thin and they were amazing on her body.In all honesty, I would prefer smaller breasts on a woman. Large breasts are overrated and require a good bra to look nice, but when the clothes come off they sag, which for me isn't an appealing look.Small breasted women for the most part look sleek, lithe and sexy. Count me as a guy who's head turns when he sees a woman with small breasts wearing something tight fitting that shows her figure.
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (20 October 2009): Hi, I also have small boobs. My confidence was destroyed about a year ago from a group of guys. I had been hanging out with my best friend and her boyfriend + his friends. She wanted me to come hangout with them a few weeks later but her boyfriends friends told her my boobs were to small and I wasn't worth there time. I figured they were just man whores because my friend has large c-d boobs that practically fall out of her shirt, and on top of that she wears two bras. Its agonizing to hangout with her around guys cause they all just stare at her breasts. Anyway, I was crushed by what they said for months. I hid my boobs in sweaters and wore lightly padded bras. Until I met a man that didn't actually care for boobs, he said he preferred butts. Now, I don't think I have a nice butt at all. I explained to him my issue with boobs and he told me that any man that cares about boobs isn't worth anyone time because we can't control how are breast look. He told me all the good things about having small boobs, and helped block out all the things men say about big boobs. Finding whats good about what you have instead of focusing on what you don't have. I've been dealing with haveing small breasts since I was 13. When I was 11 I started puberty and had the biggest boobs in the class until I started getting taller ( i grew 9 inches) and lost some weight. So by the time I was 13 I was flat as a board. By then my best friend had grew boobs and was always out to make fun of me and still does whenever I get in a swim suit or wear a tight shirt. Ive stopped hanging out with her because, well. Who wants to be around someone who will make fun of your boobs? Anyway, I'm rambling. Just remember that there is always someone out there who will like small boobs, I think that happens once they see how big breasts look on older woman.It took me 6 years to gain confidence in this and still I'm with a man that looks twice at the girls with big boobs. I've learned to deal with it because if there with you, and your boobs are small theirs a lot more to you than just getting someone by having big breasts. I hope this helped some.
...............................
A
female
reader, lisababylisa +, writes (10 October 2009):
hi i know how u feel i am small i hate it. i an going to see if the doctors can help me as i said to my friend that i have known for a long time i said i want a boob job cos i cannot do this anymore i do not feel like a women she told me i do not need one talk to the doctors cos there is so much more they can do other then a boob job to help u grow. i know everyone wil have there say but it is how i feel i do not feel like a lady have to get A padded.and that dont even fit me.my girl is 11 tomorrow an she is bigger then me.yes it hurts i jus want to feel like a women an yes my man tells me he loves me for me.i dont think that i know wot men want and it dont matter wot anyone says i still going to feel like this. i am with u girl i know how u feel i could go on all day about how i feel but i wil not. it dont matter if people say u look ok cos my head is sayin yea right!!!!!
...............................
A
male
reader, Code Warrior  + ♥, writes (21 September 2009):
 I never said you were nuts or that there was something wrong with your mind. Everyone has some type of conspiracy thinking about something. That does not make them crazy or stupid.
For example, there are plenty of people here who think Barack Obama is out to create a socialistic society and re-write the US constitution. They point to the evidence of his massive spending programs, his political history, and see an effort to control people by forcing them to be dependent on the government. It really doesn't make a difference if they are right or wrong, they believe that there is a conspiracy to do that and he is it's leader.
On the other side of the coin you have the liberals that support Obama who think that the political right wing establishment is trying to destroy Obama because he is African-American. Again, it makes no difference if they are right or wrong, they believe in that conspiracy and think Rush Limbaugh is it's leader.
None of the people on either side are insane or stupid. They have their perception and are both unwilling to change.
I am merely pointing out that if you can't change society's ways, then you are left with three options: Give in to society, move to a new society that thinks different, or change YOUR perception of the way society thinks.
How can you expect anyone to tell you how to get confidence in your breast size if you are unwilling to change your perception? You can't.
...............................
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (20 September 2009): Ok Code Warrior, you make it sound like I'm nuts, or there's something wrong with my mind, and THAT pisses me off, because you're no shrink to determine whether my head's messed up or not.
...............................
A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (20 September 2009): as a male to me the most important physical aspect in a female is her face. if her face is attractive to me then all other parts are acceptable. size of the bra is never an issue.
...............................
A
male
reader, Code Warrior + ♥, writes (20 September 2009):
I knew it would piss you off to be told you believe in a big boob conspiracy. But that is how you need to think about it in order to overcome it.
People who believe in conspiracies can always find evidence to support their claims. It does not matter how much evidence you pile up. It is always your choice to construct the reality that explains it. You can either choose to believe in the boob conspiracy, or you can choose to believe that it is a money making conspiracy by the media. Hell, you can create any conspiracy you like to explain why big boobs are all the rage in your country.
My point to you was that you can choose to give in to the conspiracy, continue to believe it, and let it control your life and your perceptions; Or you can treat it like it does not exist, determine your own reality, and use that reality to control your destiny.
The choice is yours. If you choose to believe in the big boob conspiracy, then you have two options: Get a boob job, or move to another country where you are considered "fuckable". However, if you want to keep what you have, then you need to drop the notion that there is a big boob conspiracy.
...............................
A
female
reader, Basschick  + ♥, writes (20 September 2009):
 Well don't be so sure you're past your growth spurt. When I was 19, my boobs were 34B. Which was pretty small to me. But in my later 20's I gained a little weight and they blossomed out to 34C, then 36C. Boobs are nothing more than extra fat in the right place. If you want your boobs to "grow" try packing on about 20 more pounds and you'll see results that don't require surgery. I know I am carrying around and extra 25 pounds (not by choice) and the only benefit I see, is my boobs got considerably larger, and so did my curves. My boyfriend loves my body but sometimes I long to be thinner again. So one word of caution, if you are stick thin right now, you may find it hard to deal with the extra curves in other places (like your butt, and having to buy bigger clothes) so be careful not to gain too much. You don't want to be unhealthy (fat)....Hope this helps you out.
...............................
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (20 September 2009): Ok, male poster, I appreciate your advice, but seriously, I know men here like big breasts better. Maybe because I'm technically just coming out of my teens, but they have explicitly said so. Hell, I can even notice my dad likes them big too! Honestly, in America it may be that men don't like breast implants, but believe me, guys around here don't complain. It's not all in my mind, or that I want to blame men. I'm sure I wouldn't hate my small boobs if they were more appreciated around here. Guys here don't fancy the likes of Debra Messing, at most they think she's pretty, but (pardon my language), they don't see her as "fuckable".A lot of Argentinian models are very famous here. Why? Because Argentina's health system covers boob job surgeries, so it's easy to get them done there. And here it's easy for them to get a job, since appearing barely clothed on TV earns you a lot of money. And many women start making more money and get more media coverage after they get breast implants. I'm not lying! It's true. And girls who have bigger breasts make a point of showing them off, and while some of them are very nice ladies, others talk behind your back calling you ugly just because you can't sport cleavage. I'm just sayin'... it's the same as men here they're obsessed with "size matters" and all, they think having a big penis really is better, and while I and most women know it's not true, they just aren't convinced (then again women aren't talking so much about how big penises are better, unlike how guys speak of boobs). And well, you can't really see penises through clothes, and they're more taboo than boobs, so they don't really appear on TV. But it's similar, little boys start worrying over penis size at about 8 years old. I don't know why, but that's the way it is.
...............................
A
male
reader, Jmtmj +, writes (20 September 2009):
Well as a guy I dont think you should get surgery. Yeh, big breasts are for the most part considered attractive, but hell, I find smaller breasts really, really attractive, (even 10A) and I know atleast 5 other decent guys who would agree. Not only are they generally perkier, firmer and more shapely, but they arent going to sag with age nearly as much as larger breasts. If you are chronically self-conscious about them for yourself and feel they would boost your self esteem greatly, make you feel more sexy and improve your life then you could consider surgery. But if you just want your partner to love and lust after your body then dont even consider surgery. Either keep looking for the right guy, or realize that everyone is different but when you fall in love with the right person, everything about them becomes more attractive. Having said all this though... can you honestly say that you love/lust after every part of your boyfriends body? Excessive hair, small penis, flabby gut, receding hairline, etc. and whatever? Best of luck :)
...............................
A
male
reader, Code Warrior + ♥, writes (20 September 2009):
You are not going to like what I am about to say, but I think you need to read it anyway.
Look at your last paragraph. The truth is revealed in the first 4 words: "I Hate my breasts..."
Most people believe that everyone thinks like they do. Thus, the thief is more worried about people stealing their stuff than anyone else.
In your case, you hate your small boobs, so you assume that everyone else does too.
What you are doing is a form of conspiracy thinking. People who believe in conspiracy theories generally blame thier own misfortunes on some external group that operates in the shadows with the sole purpose of controlling their lives. By blaming a group, they don't have to take responsibility for their own actions.
In your case, you have created the big boob conspiracy to provide a justification for your feelings of hatred for your boobs. This way, you don't have to take responsibility for your feelings, you can blame it all on the men.
I'm not going to insult your intelligence and tell you that big boobs aren't attractive to men. They are. But this does not mean that small boobs are terrible. I like them too. Especially on a petite woman.
The first step to gaining confidence in your boobs is to admit to yourself that there is no big boob craze in your country or anywhere else. The only big boob craze is in your mind. I know you will disagree, but you must force yourself to believe it.
Next step is to reason out why men would want a woman with small breasts. Some men do not like big boobs because they sag severely over time. They are also heavy and are generally not real perky. Some men do not like the way big boobs fall off to either side when the woman is laying on her back. These men like small boobs because they remain perky a lot longer. They can fit in their hand when they fondle them. They tend to stay upright when a woman is laying on her back.
Next step is to reason out why women would want to have small boobs. I have direct experience with this. My wife is very busty. I did not choose her because she had big boobs, I chose her because she is a wonderful woman. She wants to get a breast reduction because her large boobs hurt her back and make it difficult to buy bras. Her bra straps dig into her shoulders because her boobs are VERY heavy. Sometimes men stare at her chest so she wears clothing to try to hide them. When she sits in the car, the seat belt never fits right and can be very uncomforatble. I have told her to get a breast reduction if it will make her happy and reduce her pain.
The last step is to seek out role models to emulate. Debra Messing is a Hollywood actress that is a great role model for small breasted women. She is absolutely beautiful and VERY sexy. She makes jokes on her TV shows about her small boobs. She is not running out to get a boob job. Kate Hudson, Lara Flynn Boyle, even Audrey Hepburn are all small breast size Hollywood women. I guarantee you that men are not looking at them and thinking about anything other than how beautful they are.
The truth is, everyone has things they hate about their bodies. We have to learn to live with what God gave us. While you can get a boob job, you will also find men that don't like fake boobs. I am one of them. I like the way real boobs of all shapes and sizes hang. Fake boobs just hang wrong. I can spot them immediately and they don't look nice to me.
The only case where I can appreciate fake boobs is when a woman has undergone a radical mastectomy for breast cancer or some other injury and has lost her breasts. Breast implants are perfect for them so they can feel like a woman again.
Believe me, small boobs can have a lot of advantages for a woman. You should look into them and use them to appreciate how lucky you are.
...............................
A
female
reader, mattie90 +, writes (20 September 2009):
 hun i have small breasts too so i know where your coming from my boyfriend absolutly loves my body and i absolutly hate it. if your boyfriend doesnt like your small chest get rid of him he doesnt deserve you anyways. also another good thing is to buy a push up bra yes its deceiving because when you take it off but you have to love yourself for who you are. i want a boob job but my boyfriend wont let me he thinks that my personality will change and that ill become egotistical which isnt true but i want it done so i can fell better about myself. but im getting used to my body im more open to my boyfriend seeing it all the time. another good thing to do is look at yourself inthe mirror everyday and tell yourself im beautiful and thats all that matters dont let what other people like get you down.
...............................
A
female
reader, rhythmandblues2 + ♥, writes (20 September 2009):
 I think you need a different boyfriend if you really think yours is settling for your small breasts, or you need to get a grip and accept your body for what it is.
I understand feeling badly about the big breast thing, but I wouldn't let it affect your self confidence if you don't want to have to go through elective surgery to enlarge them.
A lot of men, even in my country like big breasts, but a lot of men don't choose a woman as a wife based on her breast size, but something much deeper.
If you want bigger boobs, then buy a pair, there is no other solution to this.
I am not suggesting it or even recommending it, but there is no solution to this other than you need to decide what it is that is important to YOU. If a man you are dating makes you feel inadequate, you don't have to change for him, you can choose to seek someone else who doesn't put that much importance on your breast size.
Really, this is an issue that is bothering you. Decide where you stand on it and then don't compromise.
...............................
|
