Like what
he writes?
... Add *astedLife to your favourite agony aunts
Want to get in touch?
... Send *astedLife a private message | | | *astedLife's profile:I'm single yet again, and looking. I never wanted the single life, just a wonderful woman I could love and be loved by, live with and for, and have hot, gentle, passionate and nurturing sex with, and cuddle all night long before we made love again in the morning. Someone that shared a vision of the world and wished to walk life together, each appreciating the other for who we are.
I've walked this earth for too long, looking and learning, and am glad to share my understandings with fellow humans, both male and female. I've loved and lost too often, and I'm afraid the sadness of it all has become part of me, yet maybe I can still be of help to others.
I am well educated in the style of the Renaissance Man, able to do most anything, including carry a conversation across most disciplines, especially the sciences.
I currently live in southwestern United States with my two cats and a dog, in paradise yet all alone. I am quite well off and have my own financial means, so I can make my own schedule and work as much or as little as I please. It took years of struggle to get here, but I have arrived, though the solitude, while beautiful, is empty without a mate and lover.
You might wonder about my screen name - in my experience, life without a lover is wasted, one day or night at a time.
|
|
He won't let me meet his mother. What's going on?
Q. My partner and I have been together for a year and a half and during that time although he’s met my parents, he has deliberately engineered events to ensure that I’ve never met his mother – who only lives in the next street! We’re not yet living t...
A. 4 June 2008: An important part of being one's lover/partner/wife is being there for better or for worse, in sickness and in health, including being nurse/mother/confidante, etc., at least some of the time.
It's easy to be in relationship when everythi... (read in full...)
I've always had a problem with believing in true love, but I kind of still question it.
Q. I decided i'd give him a chance after 3 years, now i feel nothing could replace him. I've known him for longer than three years and he has told me his love for me ever sence the first time we met. Me and my love have been together for almost 4 mon...
A. 24 May 2008: It's great! Enjoy and be happy! Just don't take anything for granted, and I hope you two can show us all the way.
Thanks for sharing your joy. Good luck always.... (read in full...)
Do all guys get grossed out by kissing their partner after she gives you head?
Q. okay i have a question for all of you guys out there (girls feel free to answer if youve been in this situation). okay do all guys get grossed out by kissing thier partner after she gives you head? my boy friend doesnt want to kiss me after ive ...
A. 23 May 2008: This question is really weird. I'm a guy and would not touch another guy's body, but it's ME, not another guy. If I love someone I will go down on her and if she does the same with me and we both cum, it's wonderful, and the next logical thing to ... (read in full...)
I think my husband is an alcoholic, but if I leave him I'm not sure how I would support my family!
Q. Okay, here goes....... I think my husband is an alcoholic. I have been married for 12 years now, and have 2 young children. We started dating when we were 20. We both partied back then, as well as when we first were married. I stopped when I b...
A. 23 May 2008: I'm glad that we can be of some help - your situation is certainly difficult. Besides the 12 step programs, some joint counseling/coaching would be very helpful. It seems the real problem is ANY drinking at a social event. Your husband wants to ... (read in full...)
My parents want to bribe me not to go out with him... what can I do?
Q. So my boyfriend who i been on and off with for 3 years now is really special to me. The only thing is my parents just dont approve. When we break up they are so happy an when we are together again they get so angry at me an dont talk to me for a few ...
A. 22 May 2008: You're legally an adult, and need to make some choices. It sounds like you are not ready to get married - especially since you two are breaking up all the time. You both need to talk to each other and find out why that is happening. A good ... (read in full...)
Is he too shy or doesn't he like me?
Q. Well there is a guy i would like to get to know and be friends with we text alot. But whenever i ask him if he wants to meet he doesnt seem to want to! Im not sure if its just because he doesnt like me or if hes too shy? So what can i do?...
A. 22 May 2008: Don't ask him if he wants to meet you - tell him you have this cool thing you want to do and it would be could if you two could do it together. He's probably shy and doesn't even know how to respond, so make it easy to say yes. If that doesn't ... (read in full...)
Are women not attracted to shorter men?
Q. i have heard a lot of times that women naturally are not attracted to shorter men than them or they tend to look down on them maybe with disrespect. how true is this, ladies?...
A. 22 May 2008: I'm a tall guy, and I've seen girls I like go with shorter guys - think Woody Allen, Sonny Bono, etc. The key is to be fun, funny in a good way, somewhat brazen and in control, and good at reading women. Some of the best dancers are shorter guys, ... (read in full...)
I am secretly in love with my cousin.
Q. PLEASE DO NOT answer the following question with morals and personal opinions of how it is wrong or disgusting (insert hurtful comment here). ALSO no other arguments against my preference whether that be Science, Law or experience. I have a cousi...
A. 22 May 2008: Since it's a long time till Christmas, you have time to get ready. First off, you are nervous around women generally, not just her. As hard as it sounds, socialize, date, and sleep with other girls now - the more experienced you are, the more sure ... (read in full...)
What should I say to my ex girlfreind?
Q. My girlfriend has dumped me and it's because of my ex. She is going out with my friend, well ex friend now, and she split us up by spreading rumours. I threatened to kill her boyfreind. What should I say to my ex girlfreind?...
A. 22 May 2008: Threatening to kill anyone will scare the girl and maybe get you arrested - definitely a bad idea. If anything happens to the guy, no matter what, you will be the first suspect.
The best thing, although VERY difficult, is to let her go, dump/ign... (read in full...)
Since saying no to giving him oral he never asked me again. How can I make our sex life better?
Q. How can i get my b/f back. We been together for a year. We been having arguments over little things and he always says that it's my fault. Anyway, one day he asked me to give him oral sex which i realy hate, and he told me if i do give it to him i ...
A. 22 May 2008: Even though the oral sex may be important, the arguments over little things that he blames you for sounds more serious. It sounds like you two need to do a LOT more talking to each other - especially about your feelings. Any time blame or ... (read in full...)
I can't stop crying my heart out. All I hear are my own words, my own visions of hell. Please help.
Q. Dear ones, I can't take it anymore, this situation, I can't stop crying my heart out. I know everyone have problems I agree, and most of them maybe are most difficult than mine, but I truly can't take it anymore. I have boyfriend 3 years I lov...
A. 22 May 2008: You are very romantic, and that's wonderful. Let's see if you can add your head to your heart. Ask yourself, would you rather tell them both you are in love with two guys? If so, you might lose one or both, but it would be honest. Do you fear ... (read in full...)
I don't want to be dishonest with my current boyfriend but the fact my ex was my first sexual partner connects me to him somehow...
Q. Okay...so to start with, I have known this guy for a little over three years. Our introduction was a long story, but to make it short, we were introduced by his cousin who is one of my best friends. Before we met, him and I talked via phone, text, ...
A. 22 May 2008: Don't even try to forget him - you will be thinking about forgetting him forever. Allow a place in your mind and heart for him - he was your first and you really did love him, and may always care for him. Carry the good memory and realize he is ... (read in full...)
Age gap relationship advice needed!
Q. Hello everyone, Im 26 and my b/f is 47 and we've very much in love. We've been seeing each other since I was 18, so almost 8 years now. We have a complicated relationship, he was with someone else until about a year and a half ago, which I knew ...
A. 22 May 2008: I'd suggest that you two talk a lot. Let him know your feelings, and do your best to let him understand that you understand his. He's old enough to prioritize your feelings now - he is no longer with his ex, and she will find out you two are ... (read in full...)
I think my husband is an alcoholic, but if I leave him I'm not sure how I would support my family!
Q. Okay, here goes....... I think my husband is an alcoholic. I have been married for 12 years now, and have 2 young children. We started dating when we were 20. We both partied back then, as well as when we first were married. I stopped when I b...
A. 22 May 2008: OK - you have a hard problem, but there are lots of things you can do. The first thing is call Alcoholics Anonymous and talk to someone - preferably someone that has been through the mill. See if there is an ACOA(Adult Children of Alcoholics) or ... (read in full...)
Why Does Love hurt So bad?
Q. Why Does Love Hurt? Yeah love can be a great and a amzing feeling. But it can hurt sooo bad.. Love is very a powerful and yet beautiful emotion. Life without love is meaningless and empty; However whenever we love someone there is always...
A. 20 May 2008: Dear I-CRY-ALONE, You answered your own question. Love is what it is, it is the source of life itself, and it is not to be trifled with. As you get to know yourself over the years, you will love and win, love and lose, and ultimately discover ... (read in full...)
There just has to be some other ways to deal with this rather than talking?
Q. Hi all, im just looking for some advice please. Ive been with my boyfriend 2.5yrs. I love him loads but i just dont think he's as in2 this as i am. I do everything to please him. Im always affectionate and tell him i love him all the time. He's q...
A. 20 May 2008: You are up against the wall. Men want women to be the way they are and never change, and women think they can change their men. They can't. The brutal truth is that you will either have to accept him exactly the way he is or find someone new.
... (read in full...)
Its my first time, I'm 13! help!
Q. hey, my name is maria. im 13 years old, and my boyfriend is 15. weve been together for a year, and im ready to have sex for my first time. im not scared or anything, but i am nervous! its not his first time, so i dont know what he expects out of m...
A. 20 May 2008: I almost never say this, but even I think you are too young for this! You can't have sex without dealing with a whole lot of adult situations - a kind of bonding that you're not ready for, the real possibility of pregnancy, STD's, legal ... (read in full...)
My boyfriend (now fiancee) never buys me gifts, not even on my birthday!
Q. My boyfriend (now fiancee) never buys me gifts, not even on my birthday. In truth i feel he never has the will to to do something special for me, even when occasion calls for it. What does this indicate? Don't such things come naturally when one ...
A. 19 May 2008: Actually, sometimes a man loves a woman very much, yet has no clue that she wants or expects a gift. Men and women see the world very differently, and they enrich each other's lives by sharing their worldviews and experiences. Sometimes it is best ... (read in full...)
I need immediate help.. please! I'm being blackmailed!
Q. I need immediate help, please. Before I explain my situation, I just want the people to know that I'm not really.. 'this' kind of a person. I don't know why I acted this way, and now I'm paying the price for my stupidity. I've always been independ...
A. 19 May 2008: I realize everyone here is a concerned about ElusiveEyes. I would suggest that we trust that she has done the right thing, and quite possibly has just turned off the PC and is not writing to anyone. I do hope that she got help from either the ... (read in full...)
Why the sudden loss of energy to have sex with me?
Q. I have been with my boyfriend for over a year. We get on get and have talked about moving in together and booking a holiday in August. However the past four months he has gone off sex and we have not slept together. We still kiss, hug, cuddle etc ...
A. 19 May 2008: It's probably biochemical - or neurochemical. In the early stages of relationship, the lust chemicals kick in and they will bond you two well. You will get a dopamine/seratonin/oxytocin rush and feel great from sex. Later, between 9 and 18 months, ... (read in full...)
We've been together for more than 10 years but I'm determined not to forgive his infidelity, what do you think?
Q. I found out my husband had an affair a year and a half ago. The only reason it's over now is because the other woman ended it. The whole thing lasted about a month. He was angry that she hurt him, not sure if he tried to win her back or anyt...
A. 18 May 2008: This is a cosmic test, and the easy way out is to end it all. The more difficult and rewarding way is to feel the pain, handle the feelings, get beyond the anger and THEN talk about this. It may take months, or much longer - it's part of the tests ... (read in full...)
Personal question on labia
Q. Dear, cupid I feel really ashamed asking this! My labia is too small and my urethra sticks out. I found that a beautiful vaginal or {porno graphical} considered{ healthy } is when the outer vulva covers the inner section ofthe bladder. Please ...
A. 18 May 2008: Hi Jodie. Every vagina and vulva is different and they are all beautiful in their own way. The woman with the most beautiful vagina(to me) was certainly not porno perfect, her inner labia were quite prominent, and her entire vulva was quite large. ... (read in full...)
I'm 24 and can't get a girl. What am I doing wrong?
Q. I'm a 24 year old male and I really want a girlfrield. However, it seems that this isn't going to happen as I still haven't kissed a girl. The only time I have ever been intimate is by paying an escort. This was over 3 years ago now but I am ...
A. 18 May 2008: I understand exactly where you are coming from and can really relate! "Confidence" is a term used by women, but it's not the confidence in being able to do things well - it's the confidence projected from knowing exactly what you are doing with ... (read in full...)
How do I make my friends understand how much the aspberger syndrome affects my everyday life?
Q. I have recently been diagnosed with asperger syndrome. When I tell my friends they don't seem to really take in how hard it is for me to do the things they do. Whats the best thing to say to them? Any help would be much appreciated...
A. 18 May 2008: There's a lot written on Asperger's and most is written for parents regarding children. Much of that is hopelessly wrong, though there is a growing set of resources for teens and adults with this syndrome. Check out Asperger on Yahoo Groups. My ... (read in full...)
I need to get control of my life...things are very complicated and messy!
Q. this is a real question im 17 living with a guy 18 years older than me but he doesnt know im 17 he thinks im 20 and well while he is at work i have sex with strange me for money im also pregnant with the guy i live withs baby as i was pregnan...
A. 17 May 2008: Be careful of the idea of taking antidepressants when pregnant - clear it with an MD - they are not recommended for this if avoidable. The whole situation is complicated - just do things one at a time, but don't wait. STOP having sex with ... (read in full...)
I keep finding naked pictures of his ex, what should I do?
Q. Last year, I accidentally found my boyfriend's porn on his external hard drive. In that collection, I found naked pictures of his ex-girlfriend after he told me that he didn't have them anymore. I got very angry and deleted all of them. When I ...
A. 15 May 2008: Just to put things in perspective: We can all celebrate the diversity of opinions here and accept that each of us must live in his/her own mind and body. I keep pictures of all my old girlfriends to the extent I can. I treasure them, yet don't ... (read in full...)
My bf and his brother donated their sperm so their lesbian friends could have a baby. Can this happen without sex?
Q. My bf has 2 lesbian friends that are friend of the family well they wanted to have a baby so my bf and his brother donated there sperm to her but they put it in a cup and they waited a min or so and then she went and poured it into her can she still ...
A. 15 May 2008: Probably the best way to do this would be for the lesbian couple to stimulate each other almost to orgasm while the guys cum. Put it into a turkey baster and right after the potential mother cums, insert the turkey baster and squirt it all out. ... (read in full...)
What do men feel when their penis enters a vagina?
Q. what do men feel when their penis enters a vagina? and what do they feel as a woman has orgasms? can they feel the spasms of the vagina? and a friend of mine had 5 kids, shes worried her vagina is not that tight any more as she cant feel all the ...
A. 15 May 2008: When a man's penis enters the vagina of a woman he loves, or even cares deeply for, it's like going home, a wonderful feeling of acceptance and gentle warm wet ribbed squeezing against the turgidity of the penis itself. Every movement - every ... (read in full...)
I need to get control of my life...things are very complicated and messy!
Q. this is a real question im 17 living with a guy 18 years older than me but he doesnt know im 17 he thinks im 20 and well while he is at work i have sex with strange me for money im also pregnant with the guy i live withs baby as i was pregnan...
A. 15 May 2008: First thing, stop having sex with strangers immediately and get an STD test! This may be risky for you, but it is terribly risky for the baby! If this was found out, you could be called an abusive mother and lose your child, or worse. Also, it's ... (read in full...)
I keep finding naked pictures of his ex, what should I do?
Q. Last year, I accidentally found my boyfriend's porn on his external hard drive. In that collection, I found naked pictures of his ex-girlfriend after he told me that he didn't have them anymore. I got very angry and deleted all of them. When I ...
A. 15 May 2008: He loves you for you - let it go. A man has very little to live for in his life. Either his wife or girlfriend if he is lucky, the memories if he is less lucky, or nothing. When/if he loses her, all he has is the memory for those years of his ... (read in full...)
He won't let me meet his mother. What's going on?
Q. My partner and I have been together for a year and a half and during that time although he’s met my parents, he has deliberately engineered events to ensure that I’ve never met his mother – who only lives in the next street! We’re not yet living t...
A. 14 May 2008: There is obviously some avoidance here. Family secrets. It may well be that his mother goes off on women and tells them they are sluts and harlots and to stay away from her son, etc. She may well be a closet drunk and socially shy and can't deal ... (read in full...)
I Love someone I work with. Now she's moving away. Should I tell her how I feel?
Q. I'm quite confused on what to do at the moment. I realized a couple of weeks backs that I've actually fallen quite hard for someone I work with. We've spent a bit of time together both at work and outside of work. It seems like she has feelings ...
A. 14 May 2008: Most all regrets are about the chance never taken! Wishin' and hopin' are the paths to rigor mortis. Best to let her know you two like each other and were obviously meant to know each other better, so best to get on with it. Go for coffee, ... (read in full...)
I am pregnant and getting married, but now I'm not sure he loves me
Q. I am pregnent and is about to get married. I am in love but i dont think he loves me back. he tells me he loves me but he doesnt show it. he breaks all his promis he doesnt call to check up on me. i barily see him. he always say hes busy farming. ...
A. 14 May 2008: It's Springtime, and farmers really are very busy. With men, the best way to get someone to do something for you is to ask, not figure we can read your mind, we can't. If we try, we make so many mistakes that we give up quickly. Men are more ... (read in full...)
My boyfriend has a fetish for black haired girls!
Q. Hi this is going to seem like an odd problem, but its been bothering me awhile. I've always known that my boyfriend of 3 years has had a fetish for black haired women. It's not a problem, until i begin to think about it, or find something, then it ...
A. 10 May 2008: Hey - He didn't cheat, did he, and he has been honest with you. You just mentioned that he is a good man and loves you for you. Certain things give a guy a thrill, but he would never trade his true love for that thrill(we hope). Trust me that ... (read in full...)
My partner has skipped the country leaving me with a 5 month old child
Q. I've posted before so please bear with me. My partner and I were having difficulties back in January as he kept on upping and leaving me for several days at a time. In March we had a chat and agreed we would make a real go of things and he co...
A. 10 May 2008: This is really sad. Presuming of course, that he left the country and nothing else happened. You need to reconcile with yourself first - knowing that you are strong, and must be stronger even, that your baby has a good mother and a lost father. ... (read in full...)
Do you think he does like me really and if so what should I say to him ?.
Q. I am 24 years old soon, and i like a man who is 42. My birthday is coming up soon and he said he will go.He has stared at me and looked at me alot, stood close to me when i have been talking to other people, once he looked at me through the corner ...
A. 10 May 2008: Your situation is a bit complicated - age gap relationships are, but they're worth it and usually the older person can guide it. If possible, make it less important in your life so you can be a bit freer - that's attractive. Just let it happen - ... (read in full...)
I tend to go for older men, but he is so much older...
Q. Im 17, nearly 18. I have a tendency to go for older men, Normally about 24,25. But in this case i like someone who is much older! He's 59. Im not normally attracted to men this age but he is a huge expection! I see him everyday, at a sports club ...
A. 10 May 2008: I have to differ with the majority here - I have had relationships with women with almost this age gap and it has been heaven for me, and very special for the women I was lucky enough to be with. There's enough discrimination in the world already. ... (read in full...)
Am I too mad or dull to get a boyfriend?
Q. this isnt really a relationship problem, more a life problem but here goes.... every time I go out I am either very quite and shy, so noone likes me, or i have a drink and am embarressingly loud and people think (and i quote) "that girl is ma...
A. 10 May 2008: Just one drink gets you loud? Wow - maybe sip a beer and leave it. Don't try hard for the boyfriend - he'll come to you. A little flirtiness is OK, but less is more here.
Write a list of things that excite you and you would do if you had a bo... (read in full...)
Penis Length Question
Q. is my penis normal it about 7"long...
A. 10 May 2008: It seems everyone measures it differently, but it's certainly within normal limits. If I understand right from women, they tend to care more about thickness than length. And of course, it's how you use it that counts.... (read in full...)
I've always had a problem with believing in true love, but I kind of still question it.
Q. I decided i'd give him a chance after 3 years, now i feel nothing could replace him. I've known him for longer than three years and he has told me his love for me ever sence the first time we met. Me and my love have been together for almost 4 mon...
A. 10 May 2008: True love is very real, but you don't control his love. You do control yours, and it's yours to give as much as you want for as long as you want. He has the same choices. Enjoy it and love him dearly, though recognize that you can't "invest" in ... (read in full...)
Fine except I'm scared to ask out girls...
Q. I'm a 22 year old man, has a good social life, a good job, and am enjoying life. However, I have a problem with confidence which is affecting my ability to get a girlfriend. Every time I try to ask a girl out, I end up stopping myself because I...
A. 10 May 2008: "Confidence" is one of the standards girls judge guys by. Yes, she has a boyfriend - either real or made up. Approach her and talk - she will mention a boyfriend either as an obstacle for you to overcome, or as a polite way to say "no thanks". ... (read in full...)
Does She Like Me Back (she has a boyfriend who is my good friend too)
Q. This girl and I have been good friends since 3rd grade. She has a boyfriend who is also a very good friend of mine. We have all the same friends and we hang out in school and out of school whenever we can. Does she like me? Whenever I touch her...
A. 10 May 2008: Bad news. She likes you as a friend, definitely not more. That is usually worse than not even knowing her if you want to get sexual. She also has a boyfriend that is your good friend. Unless you intend to be with her until she leaves you, its ... (read in full...)
We kissed but I don't like him like that!
Q. we kissed but i don't like him like that... he likes me a lot and has for a while but i don't know.. i really just see him more as like a brother to me. but i don't know what to do. because last time i teased him or whatever and i can't be like eh i ...
A. 10 May 2008: The dreaded friend space! Somewhere all guys hate to be. You two will just have to talk about this one - you may be able to accommodate each other, but ignoring it will lose the friendship. Maybe there's a middle ground, and maybe there isn't. ... (read in full...)
Do you think he does like me really and if so what should I say to him ?.
Q. I am 24 years old soon, and i like a man who is 42. My birthday is coming up soon and he said he will go.He has stared at me and looked at me alot, stood close to me when i have been talking to other people, once he looked at me through the corner ...
A. 30 April 2008: He likes you, and he's terrified to tell you because he doesn't want to get rejected(again). After a while, some guys just stop asking, because they are rejected too often to bear. You didn't mention where you met - if at work, he may be worried ... (read in full...)
| *astedLife's friends
These are mutual friends, so *astedLife has
added them and they have added *astedLife!
|
