So if I start to like normal weight guys, does that make me shallow?
Q. Hi, this might be a bit confusing, but I'll explain it to the best of my ability: I've always been a petite girl. I'm 19 and I am 5'5" and 110 lbs and I used to be what people call a "chubby chaser". During my teenage years, I only ever dated bigger ...
A. 7 March 2009: You like what you like. Make no apologies. If you're likes or types of men are changing, that's fine, too. Guys are easy, simple. You just have to say with a smile, 'hi, what's your name?" and flip your hair a bit. Ask them if they want to meet ... (read in full...)
What should a man see in a woman before saying yes to her proposal?
Q. what all should a (Indian, family oriented) man see in a woman before saying yes to her proposal?...
A. 7 March 2009: A man needs to see proudly and lovingly the (future) mother of his children before him; someone who can stand on her own two feet; that's independent, but choices to be with him; that's a good role model for daughters, and sons; someone who can ... (read in full...)
I've fallen for my friend's boyfriend! Help!!!
Q. I have a problem. I think I like my friend's boyfriend! I have known him since elementery school (which is longer than she's known him) but the thing is he never really looked that attractive to me until about a year ago. I think he knows Ii like ...
A. 7 March 2009: There's a great word in the English language: next. Do not screw up relationships. Find some other sandbox to play in: there are other pebbles on the beach. Don't be THAT girl that people talk about. ake good choice here, and move on. Very ... (read in full...)
Why is my mum acting this way?
Q. It's not really a relationship question but any help would be great! I've been going out with my boyfriend for 8 months and I've never had such a deep relationship or been this close to anyone before. We see each other about every other day and on ...
A. 7 March 2009: Your mother was once young; she knows. She's a good Mom. But talk to her about your concerns, and about her concerns, and emphasize that she brought you up well, and that you're capable of making good decisions, just like she taught you. It will ... (read in full...)
My best mate's cousin!
Q. I met this guy a few months ago, he's my best mate's cousin and it was her 18th. Anyway so we made out and I speak to him daily since then and seen him a few times. He know's I like him and I think he likes me to but I'm not sure. He had a ...
A. 7 March 2009: Can you say bootie call?!... (read in full...)
An ex, then not an ex..I don't know what the heck I am!
Q. Me and m (I hardly know what to call him anymore, lets go with ex) have been friends for 4 years or so, then me and him were friends with benefits for a year, then became official for a month before we called it off. It was then I realized why he ...
A. 7 March 2009: He's really just not that into you. Move on.... (read in full...)
He annoys me but I also love him, I don't know what to do?
Q. me and my boyfriend havent been together very long but i love him, but recently he really annoys me. like near enough everything he does. he practically lives with me and my family. i think we might be spending too much time together, the real time ...
A. 7 March 2009: Sounds like you're ready for marriage:) Seriously, tell the guy to give it a rest, and stop suffocating you. Tell him you love him, but you need more space. If you don;t want to be bluynt, start doing other things without him- go to the mall, ... (read in full...)
Why do people like seeing their partner sexually excited by someone else?
Q. Why do folks like seeing their partner sexually excited by someone else?...
A. 7 March 2009: Jealousy is a powerful emotion. People get addicted to drama, jealousy, passion, anger, etc.; and use this emotional energy to get off, sexually and/or psychologically. Some people like playing with fire, even at the risk at, or even because of, ... (read in full...)
I lied and now I'm in trouble
Q. Okay, big problem; I have a BAD habit of lying a lot. Usually they're just little white lies and it's not that big of a deal. I just did something really stupid. So me and my friend are getting teased by this guy who we both can't stand, and he's ...
A. 7 March 2009: Lying is a sign of low self-esteem, and wanting to make your life appear more interesting than it is. However, good for you for acknowledging that you have a problem. It's an indication that things could get worse, so nip it in the bud, before ... (read in full...)
I recently found out that my little sister slept with my boyfriend a few weeks ago.
Q. I've been with my boyfriend for 5 1/2 years, we have a five year old daughter together. I've known him about 8 years. I recently found out that my little sister slept with him a few weeks ago. But What I didn't know is that this has been going on ...
A. 5 March 2009: I'm so sorry. Yes, it is a deal breaker, at least for me. People cheat, and different circumstances allow people to work through problems, but this situation, I'm afraid, in my view, is quite different. I would consult with a therapist or ... (read in full...)
Can you ever really hate the one you love?
Q. My ex boyfriend and I had a pretty good relationship. He was generally really sweet too me, but when we got into the few arguements we did had, i'll admit we both got pretty nasty. All in all, I basically was inlove. I had pretty much everythi...
A. 2 March 2009: Yes, you can hate someone you've loved before. Indeed. Kinda of a cute question. Indifference as a reaction to a person you've dated previously meant that you didn't really love them. Now hatred: That must have been a really hot, steamy ... (read in full...)
3 years and can't get pregnant!
Q. Do you think something is wrong i have been trying to get pregnant for about 3years and nothing happen yet and im starting to worry that i cant and i wnat a baby so bad please haelp me out please....
A. 2 March 2009: Yes, you need to see a medical doctor, particularly given your very young age. Good luck; medicine has advanced considerably in this area. I assume you're married, regulary having sex, no drugs/booze...
You didn't ask, but I feel compelle... (read in full...)
Why does my wife have to be in contact with the ex?
Q. hi everybody, need some help, i am 35 yrs, 2 kids and married for 3 years. i don't know if i have trust issues or just a general problem. my wife has been in contact with her ex-hubby regards her dog, which when they split up went with him. recently ...
A. 2 March 2009: Sounds like trouble is a brewin'. I agree with previous poster, married women shouldn't go to clubs without spouse (unless unusual circumstance, e.g., younger coworker getting married/party etc). Secondly, she's not respecting you in other ways. I ... (read in full...)
How to forget the man I had an affair with?
Q. Dear Cupid, I had an affair with my co-manager who is happily married with two kids. Despite of being happy with his wife who was away from him as he was working overseas, he chose to have a relationship with me. Our secret affair was fanta...
A. 2 March 2009: You were used, and taken for a ride. And, you knew it from the first kiss. This isn't a surprise... this is what one calls a consequence... and I know you must have seen it from a mile (a kilometer) away. Again, it never ceases to amaze me why ... (read in full...)
Do guys keep in touch with girls they've slept with?
Q. Do guys keep in touch with girls they've slept with? I had a fling with someone, decided not to take things any further then changed my mind so I sent him a text. He replied straight away, then later started texting me and we were texting for a co...
A. 2 March 2009: ArmyMedic is 110% correct. He's thinking you're a future back-up booty call.... (read in full...)
I'm done with this marriage! I need help!
Q. I'm done with this marriage...I need help... Someone please shine some light this way.. I need to divorce my husband of 5 years. I can’t deal with this loveless marriage anymore. In the twincities, have anyone tried using this website www.our...
A. 2 March 2009: In most states, you don't need to state a reason -- divorces can be either contested or noncontested -- noncontested are clearly easier so hopefully hubby agrees so that it won't cost you both too much (either of you). My advice: be level and ... (read in full...)
Newlywed blues
Q. I have been married less than a year and for the most part it has been miserable. It is a second marriage for both, he is 58 and I am 50. We are both retired and while not rich we manage. When we got married last year, we both knew that I was not ...
A. 2 March 2009: You made a mistake. You might run the risk of increasingly getting resentful. You say you love and care for him, but certainly not by your other words, and I'm guessing not by your actions. You were both lonely clearly when you got married. Talk ... (read in full...)
All of a sudden my male friends all want to have sex with me!!! Why?
Q. I am completely confused. First off, I'm a 24 year old single parent. I have a 2 year old and have been raising him alone for a year and a half now. I've made a lot of friends, mostly male, over the last 3-4 years through work, and we've always ...
A. 2 March 2009: (1) Because they're guys; (2) it's not "all of a sudden;" you're just finding out about it now becuase they're getting more brave, and they think some other guy will beat them to it;); (3) it might be a contest. ... (read in full...)
Do guys take rejection to heart?
Q. do guys take rejection to heart.becasue a guy asked me out and i said no.this was few years ago.and i meet him recently and he still mad at me becasue i said when he asked me.i actually did like the guy but i didn,t know if he saw me as friend or ...
A. 2 March 2009: Oh, yeah, guys egos are fragile. ... (read in full...)
I know I need to own up but it is going to ruin everything!
Q. My boyfriend who is working abroad asked me to to go out and visit him for a holiday so we started planning and for some stupid reason thats when I stared lying. As the weeks passed I daren't tell my parents about the holiday (I have never travelled ...
A. 2 March 2009: Your parents are right that you should not be involved with someone 10 years older, you dolt. I said nothing about your parents saying you were immature, I said it! (...but goodness knows, they must think that you're immature, and a little bit ... (read in full...)
What do you think? I don't want to be the girl he cheats on his g/f with!
Q. I've had a crush on this guy since my freshman year in High school, i'm 20 now. I recently got a Facebook account and added him as a friend. He e-mailed me so we've been talking. He asked me to hang out and gave me his cellphone number. I text him ...
A. 2 March 2009: Good. You have it covered: You don't want to be his booty call. Re-read the previous sentences a few times in case it didn't sink in. Got it? Good.... (read in full...)
Don't want to marry him because of his mother's debt... cruel or smart?
Q. Hi, I am 21 years old and I have been in a relationship for almost 4 years. My boyfriend and I have not really talked seriously about marriage, as I have made it very clear that I do not want to get married until after I get my PhD (in 5-6 years). I ...
A. 2 March 2009: Husband won't be responsible for her debt, but make it clear that you and he have the SAME understanding about this debt of her's. Finish your education, I agree. She might croak in the meantime. Not wishing anything bad on anyone, mind you. ... (read in full...)
Could I still get a purity ring if I had sex before marriage?
Q. i have already had sex once and it was the biggest mistake of my life.i wanted to wait until i was married.could i still get a purity ring?a promise to myself that i will not have sex again until married?...
A. 2 March 2009: A purity ring is saying that you want to be pure (i.e, no sex) until you're married. You might find that you have pressure to wear one thru your church, and you don't want to let people know of your mistake. Let me tell you, other people wear ... (read in full...)
I know I need to own up but it is going to ruin everything!
Q. My boyfriend who is working abroad asked me to to go out and visit him for a holiday so we started planning and for some stupid reason thats when I stared lying. As the weeks passed I daren't tell my parents about the holiday (I have never travelled ...
A. 2 March 2009: Regarding your follow up: (My follow up) Then listen to your parents, you silly fool. He's ten years older, couple with the fact that you can't decided to make a trip, is even more of a factor than before. You're parents are right! And I was ... (read in full...)
I hate kissing him knowing he has a girlfriend!
Q. Dear Cupid, Theres this boy i'm talking to and we love each other dearly but he has a girlfriend.He said he's not in love with her but he does love her and he told me that he's in love with me and tells me he loves me and that he wants to spend th...
A. 2 March 2009: Guy's a player, and you're being used. You already know this. Why do good women allow themselves to be used? Baffles me. Find a good guy who will treat you well, will ya?... (read in full...)
How good is Spermicide?
Q. Which spermicide works the best and what are the chances of it not working properly? (Never used it before). My girlfriend likes to make love without condoms because we feel closer that way but we also would not like a baby so I am wondering just ...
A. 2 March 2009: Do not use spermicide without a condom. As a couple, if you don't want to use a condom, use the pill. Spermicide without a condom will irritate your penis terribly. Also, your chances of getting her pregnant without the condom and just spermicide ... (read in full...)
Why does my ex still want to remain friends with me?
Q. My ex boyfriend is desperate to be friends with me. We went out for well over 4 years and we still care for each other. We haven't really talked at all for 2 months, just formally so I could give back his stuff and exchange letters for closure for ...
A. 2 March 2009: You can't be his therapist. 4 years is a substantial relationship, and clearly he is hurting and mourning its break up, even if he know maybe it's for the best. Being a guy, he will be looking for benefits (hey it's probably been 2 months already ... (read in full...)
I know I need to own up but it is going to ruin everything!
Q. My boyfriend who is working abroad asked me to to go out and visit him for a holiday so we started planning and for some stupid reason thats when I stared lying. As the weeks passed I daren't tell my parents about the holiday (I have never travelled ...
A. 2 March 2009: Are you an adult? You sound very immature to me; disturbingly so, even for a young adult. Sneaking, lying, afraid of getting into trouble about a trip to see someone you supposed love?! Do your BF a BIG favor, and say that you're not ready to ... (read in full...)
Lied about virginity 12 years ago..trust has been lost
Q. I had Posted my question yesterday under the headding He found out I lied about my virginity 12 years ago! Hey guys thanks a ton for all your inputs and thoughts. Well just to add further clarity for a few of you yes he very clearly and spec...
A. 2 March 2009: This is something that you been carrying for 12 years, not one moment of deceit, but 12 years of deceit. Your husband is ticked off, consequently. He has a right to be angry, and to let you know. That's a normal reaction. But, as a couple, you ... (read in full...)
How to improve my reputation?
Q. What can I do to improve my reputation? Now that I am feeling stronger after a bad divorce and can take stock of my life, looking back I see a trail of people I have disenchanted and alienated since my twenties in both my personal and professional...
A. 2 March 2009: Slowly contact some of these people from your past, and say that you were just thinking about X, and that you realize you were out of line, and that you're sorry. You'd be amazed at how poistively people will react. Do it via Facebook or email if ... (read in full...)
My girl is skiing in Austria with her guy friends and I'm a nervous wreck.
Q. my gf is in austria atm, skiing with skl. i kinda dont like her doing this cos i know that her mates (boys) will try flirting with her. its been 4 days since she left, and 4 days till she comes back. i have been a nervous wreck for the last week, ...
A. 26 February 2009: Women find insecure men unattractive.... (read in full...)
Pregnant with his child, but suspect he's gay... I'm so confused!
Q. Me and my partner are about to have our first child, although he's very manly ie:- sports, beer, sex, the usual, I've seen a few times now that he has been on gay porn for straight guys and shemales websites. It makes me feel sick but I don't wa...
A. 25 February 2009: He's bi. Straight guys don't go to gay bars. But he's with you. He appears ok with gay friends and bars, so if he wanted to go down that road, he probably would, but he chose you. Try to get him to gently open up about his sexuality, which ... (read in full...)
His reactions causes more damage to me and to him than this minor incident.
Q. He got upset because an owner of a business he goes to ignored him to talk to me. He said I was disrespectful since I did not walk away immediately;. He was fine for the next few days when I was with him but then when he was alone he blew into a ...
A. 25 February 2009: Walk? Baby, you'd better run. Unless you want a joyless life, managed by a control freak. Why are nice women attracted to jerks? Never ceases to amaze me....... (read in full...)
What's the next step?
Q. I have just got back from spending a couple of hours with the girl I like this afternoon. Only our second one to one meeting. A bit longer than the first, which just over an hour and a quarter. This was just over two hours. I had a lovely time an...
A. 22 February 2009: Take it upa notch -- say you have great tickets to X, or take her to see great views of Y (make a picnic with wine), or make her a dinner (women love that when a guy makes a dinner -- say you're trying something new). Have fun.... (read in full...)
Is he really that into me or was I just serving a purpose?
Q. I joined a dating site back in Sept and after a few weeks I met someone. We went out on a date and met up a few times before christmas but with conflicting schedules we kept in touch casually. Im suppose I was old fashioned at teh begining and I ...
A. 22 February 2009: Mario is right: You were so played. Some women are so dumb. (Sorry if that's harsh). He's now on line telling the next chick that he's a virgin. He may circle around again top you for a bootie call if he hits a dry spell. Don't fall for it. ... (read in full...)
I'm still so angry! How can someone lie and cheat so much?
Q. 5 years ago i met this guy, we hit it off straight away - he was seeing someone else at the time. Couple of months later they had finished and he asked me out - i declined saying i had to much exams and work commitments - he slept with someone else ...
A. 16 February 2009: You should be angry -- with yourself, for being a dope. Clearly this guy keeps ALL his options open with women, and is patient -- Don't women see these types of players from a mile away?!? I think they do, and just pretend not to. You clearly saw ... (read in full...)
He is also gay, I thought he liked me?
Q. hey, im 14 and gay. one of my classmates is gay too and i have a crush on him (we confessed to each other that we're gay). we were talking about getting together and stuff, but suddenly on one day he said he's going to meet someone else. what's ...
A. 16 February 2009: You'll find someone else. Move on. ... (read in full...)
Does my husband love me or is it over for him?
Q. I have been married over 8 years my husband works a lot of hours and he is always busy I got sick a while back and I was very week I asked him if he can stay with me that day His answer was I am not a doctor or do you want me to stay and hold yo...
A. 16 February 2009: Sounds like he has someone else; always busy, disrespectful. ... (read in full...)
I'm 13 and my boyfriend (15) wants to have sex with me!
Q. I need you advice. My boyfriend (15) wants to have sex with me, but I think I am too young. What do you say? I really would like to have sexual intercourse, but I'm not sure whether I am old enough to decide that....
A. 16 February 2009: Have trust in yourself -- you are right -- you're too young to have sex right now. ... (read in full...)
Are we too old to have children?
Q. Hi I'm new to this, I'm 37 and my girlfriend is a little bit younger. We have not been together long and I know one day she wants children. Are we too old to have children? I don't want to my children to think their dad is old, but I'm not...
A. 8 January 2009: Year or two is ok. Better wait to see if you have the right person before making children together. That would be a bigger mistake than having a child when you're "too old." But, as one comneter said, clock is tickin'. ... (read in full...)
Do guys still get excited when tiny breasts are revealed or would they rather us keep our tops on for sex so they can just use imagination?
Q. My breasts are so small, do guys still get excited when tiny breasts are revealed or would they rather us keep our tops on for sex so they can just use imagination? Once a boyfriend said to me when I was getting dressed "Come on turn round ...
A. 3 January 2009: Most guys don't care that much; it's the entire package. Yeah, big boobs are great for most, but that's no deal breaker. Besides, he probably alreday had a clue about your breast size before hoping into bed, so that didn't stop him. By the way, ... (read in full...)
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