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... Send *onOfMan a private message | | | *onOfMan's profile:I have been privileged enough to see things and go through various experiences in my life. My opinion is based on my experience, upbringing and other influences. You may or may not find my answers helpful (nice if you do) but as long as they make you think then it's a job well done.
I'm now in a wonderful relationship with myself as well as a wonderful woman who I am lucky enough in my life.
The grass on the other side can be any colour you want it to be. You're in control of it. |
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Is he into me or what?
Q. I have fancied this guy at university for a year now and although we haven't talked much through the year, we went on a dinner date a couple of days ago. We got a bit drunk after dinner and I went back to his and we kissed and cuddled all nigh...
A. 19 January 2012: Do whatever feels right, there are no set rules to this. If you get an urge to text then do it but its nice to talk and get to know a person that way.... (read in full...)
My chatroom guy keeps pulling me back in right when I think I've moved on. Help!
Q. well where to start. i met this guy online through a chatroom almost a year ago. at the time he was sleeping with someone, and i was properly single. we liked each other met and fell in love. however the problem is that we are of different ethnic ...
A. 19 January 2012: It goes back to what people have been saying. You know yourself and your partner and if you think the relationship is worth saving then talk about it and start making some decisions together. Otherwise just ignore whatever contact he makes with you ... (read in full...)
Should I try to talk with him?
Q. I have a crush at school and he's very shy and quiet. Normally, I would just be nice and say hi without being too excitable, we do not talk much at all obviously, because yknow it's only been a week and a half since I developed this crush and I ...
A. 18 January 2012: Why not? Instead of focusing on gaining the "epic fail badge", focus on the "badge of bravery" and just talk to him.
You don't need to go right into it, maybe just say hi, talk to him generally and maybe try to find times when he is not with his... (read in full...)
Is he into me or what?
Q. I have fancied this guy at university for a year now and although we haven't talked much through the year, we went on a dinner date a couple of days ago. We got a bit drunk after dinner and I went back to his and we kissed and cuddled all nigh...
A. 18 January 2012: Sounds like a love story in the making. Good luck.... (read in full...)
My boyfriend says the mark on his neck is a bruise. I say it's a love bite.
Q. Thanks in advance for your answers! Last night I noticed what looks like a lovebite on my boyfriends neck. When I mentioned it he said it must be a 'bruise'. Since when do love bites look like bruises? When I tried to bring it up again he got angry, ...
A. 18 January 2012: Depends on your relationship - you should know your partner better than anyone and if there is cause for concern then you should be honest and talk to him about it.
If you "confront" him about it in an angry way chances are you will get the same... (read in full...)
He has done nothing wrong but I don't trust him, how can I get over my insecurities?
Q. I have a really great boyfriend but for some reason I don't trust him. He hasn't really done anything to deserve this. What are some ways I can get over my insecurities? I want to talk to him about it so he knows I feel this way but I don't want him ...
A. 18 January 2012: From personal experience, talking about it is the best thing. He might get upset about it but you have to approach it in the right way and be calm and collected.
Instead of jumping right into "i don't trust you" and all that, you should talk to ... (read in full...)
What can I do to help myself feel better?
Q. I'm having a lot of issues lately with my self image. Whenever I talk to anyone about it they think I'm crazy because an attractive woman with a lot to offer. Even though I know that I still can't manage to feel worth much. My boyfriend and I ...
A. 17 January 2012: I don't think there's a guy out there who doesn't look at other women. Just as women do when they see someone attractive, it's natural. What does matter is what the intentions are behind it and what that will lead to.
In this situation, it's cau... (read in full...)
My chatroom guy keeps pulling me back in right when I think I've moved on. Help!
Q. well where to start. i met this guy online through a chatroom almost a year ago. at the time he was sleeping with someone, and i was properly single. we liked each other met and fell in love. however the problem is that we are of different ethnic ...
A. 17 January 2012: Simple - cut all ties with him. Be it telephone, email or whatever way you contact him.
He's on the internet for one thing; to lure girls and get an easy lay as and when he pleases. I don't mean to be judgmental about this but you say you try to s... (read in full...)
Should I accept my boyfriend's idea as a one-off or should I tell him it's not a good idea?
Q. So my boyfriend and I have been going out now for 4 years and everything is going great. He went to uni last September and I took a while to get used to it but after being apart then spending one month solid together and being apart we have ...
A. 17 January 2012: Honestly - don't bother. From what you have said it sounds like you have been with each other and everything has been fine but now you want to try new things.
There are many things which everyone doesn't experience, it doesn't mean we're missing ... (read in full...)
Is it University or is it me? Can anybody help me make sense of what is going on here? ....Depression perhaps?
Q. i don't know what has happened? Before I left university for christmas everything was great and I was sad to go home and excited to get back here.. But now i'm back I find that I don't want to spend as much time with my flatmates as before, ...
A. 16 January 2012: I'm guessing this is your first year? Well, it happens to a lot of people and I had exactly the same experience. I still do in fact, even though I left university many years ago and now live with my partner. I never went back to live with my fam... (read in full...)
Why would a goodlooking guy find ME attractive? I have low self esteem!
Q. I can't wrap my head around why a good looking guy would like me or even find me attractive? He could get a really gorgeous girl, so why me? When we met in a bar a week ago, he said he thought I was attractive and had to get my number and see m...
A. 13 January 2012: The fact is we project what we think and our thoughts become our world.
If you keep thinking like that then the likelihood is that you will act that way around the guy and sooner or later you will get disappointed. Believe me it has happened... (read in full...)
My husband has lost interest in me sexually, Am I focusing on all the wrong things, to think it is all about me improving my physical body?
Q. My feelings and words may be confused. I Have been married for 7 years. my hubby use to be loving towards me and sex and romance was the best. Now he has lost his sex attraction for me. The problem with him is he says he still loves me, the problem ...
A. 13 January 2012: I think there are a number of ways you can improve.
I may not be qualified to answer all of them due to experience but the first thing which comes to my mind is self confidence.
You need to find it.
You need to be happy with yourself phys... (read in full...)
I had feelings for her. How do I forget?
Q. how do i forget about a girl i had some fealings for? we had been talking for about 2 months flirting and all of that... at one point she asked my brother when i was home from work cos she wanted to talk... she had personal heart to hearts with m...
A. 6 January 2012: I don't understand why you don't (or didn't) tell her how you feel?
It would be so much easier. You already have history and you said you think she likes you. You have talked before, you just need to step up and take charge of the situatio... (read in full...)
TWhy did he pull away from me a bit? And how do I find out if he still likes another girl?
Q. I really like this boy. he's not someone who people would guess i liked. but i like him. he's smart, funny with a great personality, however, he is the sort of boy who doesn't have much experience of girlfriends. and I'm finding it really hard try ...
A. 6 January 2012: Unfortunately in life things don't come easy and they are even harder with relationships as you will discover. The best way is always the hardest, but it's like that for a reason; and that's to show us how strong we are. The best way is to f... (read in full...)
What are guys thoughts of shy girls?
Q. hey here is my question: what do guys feel of shy girls? cause i am really shy and i dont know how to act around guys :/ i could really use you help and advise...
A. 6 January 2012: Just be your shy self! Some guys find that attractive :) seriously though just be "normal" and don't treat them any different to how you want to be treated. If you know there are guys in your life who have similar interests that might make ... (read in full...)
Guy problems. I like one particular guy. But am I only ever going to be a Friend with Benefits to guys I know?
Q. I am having some serious guy problems. We are like friends with benefits once in a while and we go well with each other. Any way we talk all the time and well I have giving him hints that I like him. He does send some hints every now and again. B...
A. 6 January 2012: Right now I'm a little confused!
If you want to take things further and make something of it you need to have a conversation with him about your feelings and see what he thinks and if he also wants to be committed. Otherwise just be happy si... (read in full...)
B/f isn't as highly sexed as me
Q. I have been with my partner for over 2 years. We have had a few tough times but have had some of the best times I have ever had. My problem is that he is not as highly sexed as me, I have known this from the start of our relashionship but I was so ...
A. 6 January 2012: Unless there's an underlying medical condition which I am not an expert on then I can only answer from experience.
I wouldn't dwell on it too much or label it as a problem, this can make it worse. He may have other things on his mind which ju... (read in full...)
Guy problems. I like one particular guy. But am I only ever going to be a Friend with Benefits to guys I know?
Q. I am having some serious guy problems. We are like friends with benefits once in a while and we go well with each other. Any way we talk all the time and well I have giving him hints that I like him. He does send some hints every now and again. B...
A. 6 January 2012: Guys probably want to have sex with you because they know they can. Instead of giving hints (which some guys find hard to read) try talking to him openly.
More importantly you need to change how people see you by changing how you behave and mayb... (read in full...)
Is he just hurt, or did he really care that little for me?
Q. I was present in this relationship from day one. I stepped through the door of committment and closed it behind me. He always had one foot out the door and never did anything to make me think he truly wanted this. I was there for him during some ...
A. 6 January 2012: From what you wrote it sounds like you did your bit to correct him and try to put him back on track with the relationship.
It sounds like maybe he wasn't in the right place from the start. Like he just went with it, maybe even tried but there wa... (read in full...)
Do I try again with him? We talk daily. I have feelings for him. But I don't want to hurt him again.
Q. So, I was in a relationship with this guy I loved, and suddenly I felt like I needed out and I couldn't mentally commit to a relationship. Since I broke up with him about 2 months ago I haven't stopped thinking about him. I still have feelings for ...
A. 6 January 2012: Talk to him about your feelings and concerns. Try to figure out why you are holding back.
Does commitment scare you?
Are you still mentally not ready?
Do you want him just for "fun?"
Also find out what he wants in the long run and how com... (read in full...)
Help. Tips please. How can I sit opposite her at dinner and act as if nothing has happened between her and my BF? I want to be dignified.
Q. I have been with my boyfriend for 2 years. I am very much in love with him, and we are really very committed to each other. However, a few months ago, I kissed a random guy whilst on a night out (I was very, very drunk) I felt terrible. Really...
A. 6 January 2012: If you haven't already done so, speak to him and tell him you are not ready to face her yet until you come to terms with the issue in your own mind and feel ready to move on.
However, it may be an idea to test your strength and "jump in the deep... (read in full...)
What is the physical disadvantage of not having sex?
Q. whats the physical disadvantage of not having sex, will something bad happen when you stay a virgin for long, and its not like its a choice its just that if there's no right sexual partner?...
A. 5 January 2012: There are no disadvantages. There are many people who have lived their whole lives without having sex. It is just one part of a relationship.
Don't give in to any pressures about it.... (read in full...)
Found videos of my girlfriend on the internet...should I tell her I've seen them?
Q. I have been dating a girl for about 3 months and things are starting to get serious. We just started referring to each other as boyfriend and girlfriend. A few days ago, I was looking at an adult video site and noticed a newly uploaded video was ...
A. 5 January 2012: Yes - I would certainly tell her. If you approach it in an open and honest way you shouldn't have to worry about it. Then you can see what her reaction is and take it from there.... (read in full...)
Is there any point in trying to remain friends with these people?
Q. Simple question. I've come back from university and none of my college friends made the effort to see how university life was or how I was doing, except for one. I guess it does work both ways, as neither did I. But I contacted the few I was cl...
A. 5 January 2012: Some people value friendships more than others.
I lost touch with many friends when i went to university, some have completely disappeared from my life and I have no wish to contact them. I'm afraid that's just the way it is.
As for the ot... (read in full...)
How do you communicate with someone who is so closed?
Q. Hello there - I am having serious communication issues with my partner and it seems to be going downhill rapidly. I really dont know what to do about it apart from leave him or get relationship counselling. I am at the end of my tether trying to...
A. 5 January 2012: I know how a lot of guys just bottle up their feelings because I used to be one of them, and still am sometimes (work in progress!).
There are a number of reasons for this, but mostly to do with upbringing and the types of role models there ar... (read in full...)
If he was the one my feelings wouldn't have changed, would they?
Q. Hi guys, i've been with my partner for 4years and we'v been engaged for almost 3 we also have a daughter together.. however for quite a while iv been feeling different around him. I feel like theres no spark anymore and our sex life is basically ...
A. 30 December 2011: Maybe start by asking yourself some questions and try to think about it in a serious way. What attracted me to him? What do we have in common? Is it based purely on sex? Do we complete each other or repel? Can we talk about our feelings? Do we ... (read in full...)
Advice for responding to this text?
Q. Merry Christmas all! I met a girl on the train the other day and, although incredibly unlike me, I started talking to her and asked for her number and if she wanted to go for a drink. She gave it to me and then immediately started texting me when ...
A. 27 December 2011: Try calling to let her know how you feel and to keep your mind from wondering all these things. If she picks up and you talk then all is well, if not then move on. ... (read in full...)
Does this disgust girls?
Q. Sometimes when I'm kissing a girl or holding her close, I'll start to get an erection. I know it's normal but sometimes I feel a bit embarrased. Is this disgusting for girls? Should I try to hide it? ...
A. 23 December 2011: Self control is key! Practice makes perfect.... (read in full...)
Do I still have feelings for my ex?
Q. I stopped talking to my ex around August of this year. We had broken up months before that though. I fell hard for that boy, I still find myself thinking of him once in a while. I cried too many nights after I finally cut him out of my life. I don't ...
A. 23 December 2011: I think in an ideal world it would be best if you could let your feelings out in the open and talk to the guy. We build bonds through the relationships we have. Time does make a difference, the longer the time with a person the more chance you ... (read in full...)
My family calls me wicked and selfish even though I work all day!
Q. Hi.. I'm 15, i've got no social life, no friends, my only friend is myself, i talk to myself for long hours and i don't get tired. No one seems to understand me, especially my parents. I cook, clean and organize the home, and all my dad does whe...
A. 23 December 2011: You need to make sure that the help you are giving is done in a confident manner and take charge of the situation with your head held high because helping family is a wonderful service. Don't do things out of fear, find leadership qualities which al... (read in full...)
LDR Boyfriend hasn't been replying to me- No idea why.
Q. Hello all, I may be reading into this too much, but I thought I would look for insight from other people. I am in a LDR (In different countries)with a guy things have been great, in fact more than great. We talk every single day for hours on end...
A. 23 December 2011: I was once a wimp when I was going through a difficult personal time and unfortunately put my x through the same thing. Not proud of it but sometimes things like that happen. I wasn't cheating (still didn't make it ok) but I came to my senses.
M... (read in full...)
I've decided to break up with my Bf. Should I wait until a week or so into the new year and just have a peaceful x-mas?
Q. I have decided to break up with my boyfriend of 2 years because I no longer feel right in the relationship. I made this decision finally yesterday after lots of thought over the past few weeks, so it's not a spur of the moment thing and I am not ...
A. 23 December 2011: No excuses, beating around the bush. Bite the bullet and do it. I was on the receiving end of weird behaviour before an x decided to have the guts to tell me so the quicker and more honest, the better. Though its never meant to be easy.... (read in full...)
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