A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:hello.i was seeing a guy for 2 months, everything was perfect! It was then revealed to me that he had a gf and was sleeping around with other girls..he went on holiday, and when he came back we got close again...last night it was revealed that he was still sleeping about.im so sad. i was literally so good to him though- always helping him, looking out for himi lost my v to this guy..i am totally infactuated by him and cant stop crying.i cnt even tell my friends as they warned me.i feel so lost confused and lonely someone please help me.
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (24 April 2010): (the author of this qu)
thank you all so very much..
I was hurting so much earlier..and even thinking about my conversation with him brings tears to my eyes. We live in such close proximities that the thought of him being at his with another girl makes my blood boil...What you all have said is the truth and makes sense- after all, if someone came witht he same problem to me I would say the same thing 'leave him, hes not worth it' but for some reason i feel that I can save him and make him better. He is fully aware that I always intended a relationship, he says he cares yet he does this...I KNOW this is text book awful behaviour...so I guess i need to condition myself not to care about him, as hard as that may be...
thank you so very much..i was v low today and your comments have brought me back up
xxxx
A
male
reader, PM  +, writes (24 April 2010):
 One of the dangerous things about sex is the emotional attachment that it can create for people. It sounds like that's what you are experiencing right now and it's extremely difficult thing to cope with. You feel strongly for this guy because of this emotional connection and it cannot be easy for you to feel so intertwined with his life.
I think, however, that you need to think about what kind of relationship you want with this guy and whether you're willing to walk away if he's not looking for the same thing. It sounds as though she's not looking for a serious relationship with one person and it sounds as though you are. If that's the case, I think you need to protect yourself by putting some distance between you and him. You may want to be a part of his life and be a support to him, but he may not be willing to do the same for you and to give so much of yourself in a situation where you are not having your own needs met is simply going to damage you in the end.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (24 April 2010): a guy like that isint worth any tears, what goes around comes around, and he will always regret that, there billions of guys worth more than dat foo, it hurts now but youll get over him
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (24 April 2010): (i wrote this)
thank you so very much..its really hard because i see where he is struggling and try to help him-as he doesnt have many friends..i have tried so hard to be there for him and be this great friend- the other girls he sleeps with are not like this at all...how can he not see how much i care? it hurts so much x
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A
male
reader, happy140 +, writes (24 April 2010):
 You are a much better person then that! You do not need to live your life in regrets. If NOTHING ELSE, understand that it is possible for him to give you AIDS, Herpes or any other disease. That will, if it happens, change your life very deeply. You will end up finding the right person, who may, or not, stay with you when you tell them that you have AIDS-Is that something you could live with. If he sleeps around now openly, then he will do it forever. Once is enough, we do STUPID things as men and one could be a mistake (using the word VERY lightly) but to openly do it and tell you constantly. Ask yourself, does he have a girlfriend (meaning YOU) or someone he uses for sex occasionally. I am sure his other women, at least one of them, feels the same way as you do. What then? Are you going to share with her? Are you going to accept him sleeping around and take the risk of disease and never have someone truly deep down love you because he cannot stay with you knowing there is a great risk of you dying young because of the disease s. You are not a piece of meat as he apparently thinks you are. Try and move on, some men are just plain pigs in the way they treat women, you are not a side of beef. You are a woman that has many great qualities and they should be appreciated by a man who will give himself to you completely. Know that what he is doing, no matter what he calls it, is NOT love. Yes it hurts to move on, but it is worth it. Find that special one and use this relationship to tell yourself what you truly want and do not want in a man. Good luck-Let someone else enjoy your warm heart and let them be worthy of your love.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (24 April 2010): for you to keep your self respect and you might even fake it to you make it; getting over him. as 4 your friends keep your own contsel it is noone's business....take a class like bellydancinfg DO NOT GO BACK DO NOT because i did and it hurts twice as bad
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (24 April 2010): (this is my qu..jus wanted to add to this) I really like him....id even say i loved him. He has showed a little bit of remorse but only saying sorry for hurting me, and not for the actual deed...please help me..
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A
female
reader, CarlyJohnson  +, writes (24 April 2010):
I'd maybe take a break from this guy. Dont phone or text him for a few days and maybe think about looking for another man? If he wants to talk to you then he'll call after you havent and if he does then explain to him that if he wants to see you then he will have to stop sleeping with other women!
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