A
male
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Hi, A bit of background info: I was in a terrible relationship a few months ago with a guy who treated me like dirt. Anyway that relationship ended quite quickly without too much heartache. However I stayed in contact with one of my ex's friends and we got talking. We continued texting and chatting for weeks and I really got to like him and he was VERY keen on me. In fact I don't think I've ever felt so "wanted" by a guy so much it was truly flattering and great because I liked him too. Anyway we finally started an official relationship about 2 weeks ago, We had a big argument one day because we had planned to spend the day and night together, but he made other plans because I got up late and hadn't texted him. I said fair enough and asked to see him at night but he said he had made plans. I was annoyed and said well cancel them and come to mine like you had planned too... Anyway the situation escalated and I finally snapped and broke up with him over the phone, I was really upset crying and stuff and all he said was "Oh you shouldn't be this upset we've only been together a week". Hearing this from him gave me such a sickly feeling in my gut. Anyway a few days later I contacted him and we sorted things out and went back out with each other. However since we got back together his initial "keen-ness" has totally gone. I feel like Im putting 100% into things and hes putting maybe 60-70% into the relationship. Where as before it was both of us putting in everything, so enthusiastic etc, etc.Anyway tonight we were chatting online and having a nice conversation when he just suddenly signs off. I waited a while thinking he might have just disconnected but he never came back on, first time he hasn't said bye to me and it was pretty horrible. I really, really like this guy but have been heartbroken a lot of times before and I'm terrified of falling in love because I feel like he is pushing me away.
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, Orbiter +, writes (6 May 2011):
Are you sure you're really ready for another relationship only a few months after getting out of a 'terrible' one?This guy does sound a bit inconsiderate by making plans with you and then canceling them because you got up late (although I don't know how late). However your reaction does sound a little extreme, I'm sure most people would have been annoyed but would of probably just left it at that and waited to see how he behaved in the future. If he is frequently inconsiderate and breaking off dates then perhaps confront him about it thenIt's possible your reaction has scared him off a little bit, as it might have come across as insecure and clingy. I would just give him some space and see how it goes. That enthusiasm won't last forever in any relationship. If you two do get on really well, then in time this whole thing should just be forgotten. Don't mention him signing off as if there is a legitimate reason, it may well only increase the impression of you being insecure.
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