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Why is it bad to lose your virginity to a Prostitute?

Tagged as: Big Questions, Sex, Virginity<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (3 May 2011) 20 Answers - (Newest, 11 July 2014)
A male Poland age 41-50, anonymous writes:

I'm a 28 year old male virgin, who has never had a girlfriend. I have asked dozens of women out in my life though I was always rejected. There were plenty of women that I liked but did not approach them because I knew they had boyfriends already. I tried online dating believing that I would have more success; however, this proved not to be the case. After contacting women online, I failed to get a single response. I try to be honest, friendly and positive, but evidently that doesn't work.

It is foolish to think that I will meet someone that will be attracted to me, when in 10 years of trying, I can't even get a woman to go on ONE date with me. Considering these circumstances, doesn't it seem like a good idea for me to lose my virginity to an escort or to a prostitute. I've got quite a bit of money, so I don't mind spending some of it to solve this problem.

I've googled around stuff related to losing virginity to a prostitute and whatnot. People generally don't approve of it but I don't understand their logic. I will break down the common reasons why they think it's a bad idea and attempt to refute them:

a) "You'll have a problem if you tell your future wife you lost it to an escort"

True, but only if she's a virgin. If she's had her fair share of boyfriends, surely she carries more baggage.

b) "You'll get an STD"

If you get a high class escort, they probably won't have any STDs. Brothels are regulated by the government and require weekly tests for STD's. Wouldn't it be worse if you hooked up a random bar girl who had quite a few STD's? She wouldn't be an escort, but society wouldn't look down on me for that reason. A bit of a double standard.

c) "it costs money"

So do all the dates, dinners, and alcohol... I don't see the point.

Similarly, if you lose it to an escort, you can probably learn from the best and not be so self conscious about your lack of ability.

So why is it that people oppose escorts?

View related questions: escort, money, never had a girlfriend, prostitute, std

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A male reader, RRRu Switzerland +, writes (11 July 2014):

I lost virginity at 25 to a prostitute too after much frustration but never told my girlfriends. It's none of their business and STDs are more preponderant on males that have had many girlfriends thinking that they were clean. Prostitutes in massage parlors are careful and some are very kind as well as understanding. Some have kids and interesting stories not related to crime but just life. They are human like you and they wished like you that this was not necessary but they sometimes accept like you that since we are in that bed might as well enjoy it, like a good sandwich without mayonnaise for the sake of relieving the hunger pain. I once met one that wished she had found me in another setting but it would have been difficult because she confessed she is attracted to assholes like many girls.

If you do get a gf, she will ask you, and you will have to lie or not say. They have this warped view of sex but you must forgive them. See, girls have less trouble having no sex but are horrified of never having kids in their life. Many women even prefer to PAY for an adoption or go to a sperm bank to get pregnant than to be left childless. But they never want to be criticized for paying for their kids. It's their nature to want kids as much as it is their instinct to nag about prostitutes because these are competition to get babies and control men. When it comes to money prostitutes and girlfriends are not far off. When it comes to love, gf win but when it comes to stabbing your heart out and chewing on it, gf win hands down. I hope you have lost your virginity since you wrote this post and have a realistic view of sex.

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A male reader, XyouthcrewX South Africa +, writes (19 March 2012):

I am of the same age as you and I lost my virginity to a prostitute last christmas, for the same reasons as you. I really wanted to save it for someone special but I was frustrated and had given up all hope on ever finding a relationship.

Looking back, I have mixed feelings about it.

Is it wrong to lose it to a prostitute ? Well, that depends on your moral standards. Some people think using sex and a humn body as a transaction is wrong (I did too, and still do. But like I said my frustrations got the best of me).

Another thing you have to keep in mind is that everything is fake and superficial.And that is only if you're lucky to have good hooker (which I did NOT). Otherwise your first time would be worthless.

Also, let me warn you that visiting hookers can be very addictive, which was also the case with me. I always hated the sex industry, but once I noticed how easy it was to get my hands on a good looking girl, I was hooked. Thankfully it didn't last long.

Like I said, I still don't know what to think of it. Sometimes I wish I never did it, but who knows what crazy stuf I would have done instead.

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A female reader, CindyCares Italy +, writes (14 May 2011):

CindyCares agony aunt Anon male reader of May 14th : your comment is so neither here nor there , that I think you got into the wrong thread by mistake . But in case this is really where you want to post :

- how do you know that all the female respondent here have or had casual sex just to relieve their biological urges .

- If they did, why would be wrong for them to relieve their biological urges ( as you imply ) but would not be wrong for the male poster to do the same with a prostitute. If you disapprove of casual sex, it should be the same in your eyes.

- It is actually not the same in real life, because women who engage in casual sex generally will do that for free, without paying their sex partners , who are in fact freely and often enthusiastically consenting. I doubt that the hookers are so enthusiastic about their clients and that they would give them the time of the day if they were able to do even just half the money in a different way. Which makes the transaction at least embarassing or disquieting for your average decent guy.

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (14 May 2011):

wow just look at all these female hypocrites

Here's something for the women:

Your history of casual sex partners colors your opinion of sex in general. You begin to think that sex is all about your pleasure, because you've only done it to relieve your biological urges.

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A reader, anonymous, writes (6 May 2011):

I lost mine to one and dont regret it. If you ask me, prostitution is a great profession because it helps remove emotion... the escorts dont care about the size of ur dick, your personality, or your what you have in your heart, they just care about one thing, money. Sadly, I dont care if she smiles cause im paying her to take her out or to have fun with in the bedroom, at least I get respect and a straightforward non game playing transaction. Good luck man go for it. Youre first time is no big deal anyway... forget all this bullshit about being special and youre a wonderful being blah blah and that comes from what people who lost it age fucking 14? Be smart, get someone high end, theyll give u the GF experience and BEST of all, they dont care if ur inexperienced therefore u eliminate all possible risk of embarassment of disclosing that to someone u care about.

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A female reader, CindyCares Italy +, writes (6 May 2011):

CindyCares agony aunt More than good or bad, it's futile. What do you hope to solve or to accomplish ?. Sure, you would loose your virginity- and ? It's not like you'd get a girlfriend or a lover, you'd still be partnerless, and if you want more sex you'd have to keep shelling out cash and visiting hookers, making it an expensive and frankly humiliating habit.

I guess you'd do it so that , when you meet a girl, you don't have to tell her that you are a virgin ,which might turn her off. But, you can't even tell her you lost your virginity to a hooker, most girls would find that a bigger turn off than your virginity. So you would have to lie, you' d have to say something like : I am not very experienced, because I only had sex with my ex a few times before we broke up... ( your inexperience would still show, it's surely not a session with a hooker that would turn you into the perfect lover ). So, since you have to lie,might as well lie anyway and invent an ex gf- at least you get to keep the cash you've got to give to the hooker !

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A male reader, serenity80 United Kingdom +, writes (6 May 2011):

My mate lost his virginity to an escort at the age of 26. He did it because he genuingly thought he would never find a girl or relationship.

He did meet a girl when he was 27, and they really suit each other and are now in a relationship. He says he doesn't regret loosing it with the escort because he felt like it had become such a big issue in his head for the best part of 10 years. So in his case, no he didn't think it was bad. But the problem, I think, is that he thought he couldn't find a girlfriend, when in reality, he could, he just had very low confidence in himself.

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A male reader, Odds United States +, writes (6 May 2011):

Odds agony auntBefore I say this, let me point out that I'm morally opposed to prostitution. Little bit of devil's advocate is in order, though.

First, the anon below is correct, most women simply cannot empathize with a man who can't get laid. A man can be a decent human being, ok-looking, smart, gainfully employed, and have decent social skills in every context except romantic ones - and still not be able to get laid. The closest you could find would be lonely fat chicks, but even then, the number of male fat-fetishists is somewhat greater than the number of women going around collecting lonely nerds' V-cards.

A lot of women who will tell you not to see a prostitute will turn right around and claim "the past is the past" about their own history. It'd be one thing if you really did find an exploited streetwalker, but if you're careful, it is relatively easy to find an escort who is really just in it for the money and attention. Emotionally damaged, probably, but not exploited. The point is, even if you're hypothetically able to prove she wasn't exploited or trafficked or anything, women will still hold it against you. But sleep with some emotionally damaged slut for free, and somehow that's ok.

Women will say they don't like the way using a prostitute reduces that woman to an object. Never mind that the biggest players out there, sleeping with dozens or hundreds of willing women, are overwhemingly a bunch of misogynists. Odds are pretty good at least one woman shaming you for wanting to actually compensate a woman for brief, consensual objectification has allowed herself to be treated as an object for free at some point. It's also worth pointing out that "I wouldn't have sex with a man who saw a prostitute" is an ineffective argument against a guy who is already not getting any sex.

The vast majority of women are put off by a male virgin over 25 (probably lower, but we'll stick with it for argument's sake). Even if they're more put off by a visit to an escort, they're still bothered enough to end a promising relationship.

Bottom line: if a woman will shame you for wanting to just lose your virginity in the most expedient way possible at 28, but isn't willing to sleep with you herself, don't listen.

Now, with all that said...

Many of the objections given are valid. Even if it's hypocritical of them (and I don't think it is), women generally are opposed to use of prostitutes, especially by potential love interests. Fair or not, that is a consequence you would have to face - you think it's tough meeting women now, try it with that secret hidden away. It'll eat you up. Escorts really do have diseases - it's difficult for a client to "out" a diseased escort, and the escorts have a strong financial incentive to lie if they have something. And legal brothels are regulated by the same organizations in charge of the post office - not someone you want to trust your genital health to.

I've never paid for sex, but I've been to strip clubs, and if you let strippers talk, their stories will freak you the hell out. I'd imagine it's even worse with hookers. Even my most optimistic guess at what would drive a woman to sex work is pretty bleak, and you don't want that kind of story on your conscience.

The far more important reason not to see a hooker is that I think you would be much better off emotionally if you could get few friends who are good with women and make it your group mission to get you laid. Go to parties, clubs, bowling alleys, whatever they suggest. Places with American tourists are best. Date younger chicks, 18 or 19. Find a homely girl and make her night. Stay sober or get drunk, whatever your player friends suggest. Learn from them, most of what attracts women is your attitude and behavior, both of which you can learn to change. Get the accomplishment of winning over a girl, even for a night. Go kiss a drunk chick. Invite a pretty girl to help you pick out a new wardrobe, take her dancing to pay her back - and the whole time, tease her about it.

You've been shot down before, and it sucks, I know. But keep at it. Someone in your extended social circle is a player, learn from him.

The point is, the actual act of losing your virginity will probably release some of the pressure on you, but it won't help you on the path to getting women for real. It won't make you feel any better, just less motivated. I know it's tiring and depressing to get shot down. It's even more tiring and depressing to try the easy solution, then find you've lost faith in the right solution.

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (5 May 2011):

Most women cannot give good advice about this because most women are in denial about the problem itself. They won't accept the fact that lots of men really CANNOT get laid.

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (4 May 2011):

Theres nothing wrong with it. Its just a bit sad and pathetic.

Carry on looking for a girlfriend. Find out what your doing wrong and change it.

Prostitutes are dirty and most will carry STDs and most normal women will be put off by it.

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A female reader, chigirl Norway +, writes (4 May 2011):

chigirl agony auntAnother point that mishmash didn't bring up, but that I think should be added to how women would feel about getting intimate with you if you have been to a prostitute... A woman would worry that you see her as a prostitute as well. And no woman wants that. If you go to prostitutes it is like you are saying that sex is all about your needs being met, like mishmash pointed out. But that also means you view sex as not something intimate, or filled with emotions, attraction or even love. You see sex as a need, and a woman is just your tool for release.

A woman does not want to be a mattress, or be your tool to be used for relief. If you have a history of going to prostitutes a woman would worry you will see her in a sexual way just like you see the prostitutes in a sexual way. As a matter of fact business, a service you pay for. She would worry if you will ever be able to make love, and be intimate with her, or if your mind is only on business and service, and the physical aspect of it, rather than the emotional aspect of it.

Having used prostitutes, the woman will feel like she in your eyes is only a prostitute herself, one you do not have to pay for.

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (4 May 2011):

I lost my virginity to a prostitute at 18 (I'm now 20) and have paid escorts every now and then ever since.

Don't worry about it and just do it is my advice. I'm absolutely rubbish at picking up girls at bars or clubs and have no desire to improve either- I hate the places.

Use the money you'd spend on going to bars on escorts instead.

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A reader, anonymous, writes (4 May 2011):

If you have the cash and you want to get laid just go for it.

Don't worry about any future wife, you can just tell her you lost your virginity on a one night stand with a girl who's name you don't even remember. That's the truth and you don't ever need to say you paid for it.

So no offence to the ladies who warn you that they wouldn't date a guy who has slept with an escort, they just wouldn't find out. I have and none of my girlfriends ever found out and I can safely say most really wouldn't want to know anyway because it has no bearing on what kind of partner I am. The question of whether I have has never come up either. Would I do it again? No it's really crap, no kissing, no emotion just mechanical and only a tiny bit better than a wank.

But you know what? So is losing your virginity. Losing your virginity is probably the worst sex you'll ever have anyway, getting a pro to show you the ropes and being completely attentive to your needs and not wanting anything in return is kind of perfect. I almost wish I'd thought of that. You see sex is better with emotions involved, it really is, but the first time you have it you're pretty nervous, you're not used to the action of it, the idea that you're not doing it right and that the girl isn't enjoying it can be really off putting. Not only that but you may pop off after a minute, or lose your erection there really is a lot of pressure on you in that moment and that's only if you're a teenager.

You're 28 and now I know most of the women that post here will tell you that a girl who loves you won't mind, now I don't know about them but I start sexual relations far earlier than that with a woman, love comes much later and while the women here have this romantic idea that they'd be patient with a virgin guy that's crap in bed, most women wouldn't be especially with a 28 year old man. Because they wouldn't have even gotten to the stage of love yet by the time you have sex. Even some of the women here would only be patient in theory, in practice their feelings may be very different. Good sex is a pretty important thing in a relationship, most people like to test out sexual compatibility early in a relationship so as to see if it's worth getting serious.

Look dude, sex is sex and a pro will be better at it and less selfish than most women because you're paying for it. You don't have to worry about her pleasure and she'll do what you want for as long as you want and how you want. She'll be a hell of a lot cheaper than the cost of whining and dining most women too. Dating is expensive and there's no guarantee of a return on your costs.

You have to jump through so many hoops to date and if your goal is to just break your duck and sample sex then a pro is a good option. Perhaps losing your virginity will be the thing that spurs you on actually date women, perhaps losing that mystery will finally give you some frame of reference and make it easier to date.

The risks involved healthwise are the same as any other woman. They've had more sex partners but they're very strict about safety because a disease would ruin their profession, a lot of women out there aren't as cautious and it's also estimated that of the women that have an STI 1/3 don't even realize because a few STI's are symptomless.

So a. she'll never know and you won't have to lie b. the same risk as any other woman c. Dating is expensive as hell even if you never once buy that girl anything, you have to show the girl you're with a good time and good times cost a lot of money.

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A reader, anonymous, writes (3 May 2011):

Are you really from Poland? Because it's kind of unusual for a Polish guy not to be married with children by the age of 24, so if you are Polish, I guess you feel this virginity even more keenly ... (I know Poland ... trust me)

Anyhow: is it wrong? No. Is is advisable? Not necessarily.

It isn't wrong per se - I mean, you will pay for a service. You will make sure you visit a high class joint, or engage a high class hooker. It will all be straightforward. You will feel much better about yourself, and empowered.

So why not advisable?

Sex is about connection, and it should also be about emotion. Without that, you may as well be with a blow-up doll. However, I guess that in your situation, it just feels so bad to be the odd one out, and I guess you must feel somewhere, deep down, just unbelievably rejected by all these women who don't want to go out with you. I can't quite imagine how you feel, but if I even begin to try, I think this whole thing must completely dominate your life and how you feel about yourself ... it is almost like having a disability.

Having said that, I absolutely don't believe that nobody is interested in you. Someone is interested in everyone. Have you looked at the collection of motley looking people going up and down the street at any time? And most of them have spouses, and even children! No, don't give up ... but: are you approaching women who might say yes, or only those that you are absolutely set upon, and who might look perfect? Are you aiming very high, and being rejected? In which case, change your aim, maybe.

I don't know. Attraction, dating, hooking up, being with someone ... it is all a tricky business ... but millions do it all the time, regardless of how they look, or what problems they have, or how good or bad they are as people ... so I am interested as to what you are doing wrong, because you don't sound in the least bit stupid.

Why do you think you get rejected? Because that is the real issue.

Going to a prostitute will make you feel you at least know something of what sex is, but it won't fill your heart. Don't care what others say - I don't see why it should be a problem, in your situation, to go to one - and you don't have to tell anyone, do you? But I think you should address why you aren't getting real dates, and even maybe go to an expensive partner-finding agency, where they work out where you've been going wrong. Worth the investment as much as an agency, I would think.

Good luck ...

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A reader, anonymous, writes (3 May 2011):

Well...the morality of it depends on the cultural attitude of where you are and the legality of prostitution where you are. Personally, I don't think it's a "bad" thing in moral terms. I think it can be a "bad" institution if women are abused by it.

Beyond the moral doubts, there are practical issues about using a prostitue.

I'm afraid I'll have to disagree with your assumptions a and b:

a) If she's had her fair share of boyfriends, surely she carries more baggage.

I think most people would disagree with that statement. Some might even say having your fair share of "relationships" would prepare you for intimacy and provide valuable experience in how to handle inevitable conflict and become intimate with others. Emotional history with a partner isn't neccessarily a bad thing...it's not like a prostitute is baggage free either.

b) Brothels are regulated by the government and require weekly tests for STD's. Wouldn't it be worse if you hooked up a random bar girl who had quite a few STD's?

Quite a few incurable diseases CANNOT tested regularly in a reliable way...they won't show up on a test for months if not years. For instance, HPV (cervical lesions and genital warts) can be transferred from skin to skin contact and it can shed from the skin without have lesions or warts. The thing is that HPV is typically tested through a pap smear...not included in a weekly blood test.

-AIDs tends to have an incubation period of at least 6 months before it shows up on a test, potentially after you've had sex with the prosititute and exposed yourself.

-Someone might carry and spread herpes without testing positive. (HPV is a similar virus in this way) The issue is a person has to have an outbreak first in order to produce antibodies, in order for blood test reads as "positive for herpes"...but you could contract herpes from someone who sheds the virus without having a real outbreak. Again, herpes can be spread even with protection (skin to skin). In many parts of the world, at least 25% of the population has herpes...only half that number are aware that they have it...the average prositute has at least hundred clients a month. You do the math.

Then there are the long term disadvantages for you being able to form a relationship with another woman. I wouldn't neccessarily disrespect a man for using an escort, but I wouldn't have sex with him. Beyond the health concerns there are some pretty typical concerns a woman might have with a man who has only used escorts:

- Your history of using escorts colors your opinion of sex in general. For instance, you may think that sex is all about your pleasure, because you've only done it to relieve your biological urges, not because you wanted to please a women. In other words, you'de be awful in bed.

-He may have problems being intimate or open with a women since all your intimacy with them have been based on a monetary transaction.

Your post made me think of a similar post we had here a couple months ago. A man your age only had a history with escorts and was incredibly unhappy about it. You might want to give a read:

www.dearcupid.org/question/ive-never-had-a-relationship-and-ive-always.html

Good luck.

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A female reader, chigirl Norway +, writes (3 May 2011):

chigirl agony aunt"a) "You'll have a problem if you tell your future wife you lost it to an escort"

True, but only if she's a virgin. If she's had her fair share of boyfriends, surely she carries more baggage."

Not unless she paid any of those guys to sleep with her. Going to a prostitute and having a boyfriend are very different things. Perhaps you don't understand this difference since you haven't had a girlfriend. But a woman will not respect you if you have gone to a prostitute.

People oppose prostitutes because of a number of reasons. One being that most prostitutes are young women who do it because of a need to feed a drug addiction, or a need for fast cash, and so do it as a way of survival. It is really a bad way to take advantage of a horrible situation to be in. Second, yes there might be high end escorts, but a whore is a whore.

Third, in many countries it is illegal. In Norway it is illegal to buy sexual favours. You do jaultime for that if caught. Forth, the fact that it is illegal in many countries gives you a clear idea about just how many people think prostitution is bad and a sin and a crime. Chances are extremely high you will meet people who are opposed to prostitution in your life. Such as a future girlfriend or wife. It is looked upon as worse than for example doing drugs, as when you do drugs you do damage first and foremost to yourself and your body. When you use a prostitute you "damage" another human being. Even if this image is incorrect, this is how people view it.

Fifth, it wont solve a problem of yours. Sp, you won't be a virgin any more. What sort of difference do you think that will have? Will it make you a better person? Will it do you any good? You'd have had sex one time, with a prostitute none the less, and women will not have respect for you. If you ask me, it doesn't solve a "problem", it will only give you problems.

Being a virgin isn't a problem. You not approaching women, or giving up at first attempt, seems to be more the problem. I don't know how you go about it, but you said that you don't approach the women you like because they already have a boyfriend. So you give up easily. Few relationships last forever, and you would benefit from sticking around and forming friendships with women. Do you have friends? Or are you a loner?

Do not go to a prostitute if you have self respect, and don't go to one unless you have lost zero hope of EVER meeting a decent woman who might want to be your girlfriend. She might get over the fact that you went to a prostitute... but she might not.

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A female reader, lovebird1 Germany +, writes (3 May 2011):

Your point a) is completely wrong. It's not about experience/ being a virgin that makes women judge you for doing so.

Most women are just disgusted by men who pay for sex. Because they associate it with exploitation of women and very low moral standards. You're 28 and desperate, I understand your situation. But if you ever meet a nice girl she'll be grossed out by the truth and you'll have to keep a secret or turn her off.

If you've only been rejected so far, then maybe you should really ask yourself why. In my experience, men who whine about always being rejected do something wrong.

The way you write, one might think you're really desperate. It doesn't sound as if you appreciated the women you ask out as people, but as an opportunity to lose your virginity. Or as if you're too shy and simply haven't approached enough women so far.

So, I'd say, you are making excuses and have been unable or unwilling or simply too lazy to learn how to approach and seduce and please a woman in real life.

Sorry if I am being harsh here. But I really don't approve of your argumentation. You won't be happy in life if the only way you can deal with a woman is paying her to be with you. It's a shallow approach and I say this with concern to your happiness. You won't be more able to deal with women just because you "learned" from a prostitute - what would you learn? How to flirt? How to seduce? How to please? Come on! Did you watch too much "Pretty Woman"?

My advice: Get feedback from friends or acquaintances about what you do wrong and really listen to what they say. Get a coach, a therapist, a good self help book. Make a reality check and seriously ask yourself why you're still a virgin and don't come up with excuses anymore.

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A female reader, Orbiter United Kingdom +, writes (3 May 2011):

"a) "You'll have a problem if you tell your future wife you lost it to an escort"

True, but only if she's a virgin. If she's had her fair share of boyfriends, surely she carries more baggage."

Personally, if I met a man who I found out (or he admitted) had slept with escorts then I'd be far more concerned than if I met a man who say had 5 relationships in the past and they just hadn't worked out. Or one who had been unlucky with relationships and was still a virgin.

The honest truth is it comes across as very odd (regardless of how many men actually do it) and incredibly seedy. It's gives the impression of being desperate for sex and willing to do anything to get it. So would suggest to me that the main reason why he's interested and talking to me is for sex or he will cheat more easily than most men. It can also suggest that he doesn't think much of women other than as sex objects because of all the rumours of exploitation around prostitution. It doesn't matter if it's the case or not, that's how it would come across. Especially with first impressions and if you don't say anything and your partner finds out, that will probably cause even more problems.

"b) "You'll get an STD"

I agree with a female reader, anonymous completely on this one. Also how are you going to reassure your future partner about this? Are you going to go into detail about going for a high class escort?

If you aren't as bothered about losing your health as much as your virginity or future relationships then nothing's stopping you but be prepared for the problems it could bring later on. If I found out a man I was dating had visited prostitues I would leave him.

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A reader, anonymous, writes (3 May 2011):

Apart from any STD's that you might get, either with a "high class" escort or not if they have slept with loads of men you can never be too sure. They can still catch them the same way as a back street hooker can! Some guys become addicted to paying for sex, because then they can have it whenever they want, especially if its your first time, or if you are a shy guy that would find it difficult to chat up girls. Then it is seen as the easy option.

But it can have a negetive effect on your relationship with women as it prevents some men from forming long-term relationships, because you would be so used to having sex without any emotion involved with a prostitute, almost like a "wham bam, thank you mam" approach. Its purely a business transaction for both you and her.

Then when you would meet a girl you liked and wanted to have sex with you would carry this approach with you into your relationships making you selfish in you act of love making and therefore effecting your relationship. Because with a prostitute you get what you pay for. But thats not how relationships work,its about compromise. Most women will not do every sexual act that a prostitute would, so you would also feel unsatisfied sexually in whatever relationship you were in, making you return back to a prostitue to fullfil your needs. So you think its hard to interact with women now, it will be 10 times harder if you become addicted to paying for sex. Personally i agree with the one night stand statement i dont approve of them as its just as risky, but at least there is that effort of interaction that there isnt with a prostitute.

So in my opinion its not a good idea, pluck up the courage get chatting to a girl and allow things to progress naturally.

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (3 May 2011):

Are you asking us why it is bad when you are telling us why it is not? You are an adult so you can do this if you chose to. Sorry to say but most women don't sleep with as many men as a prostitute does so you are probably far more at risk from an STD if the condom splits. All that skin to skin contact, maybe consider pubic lice or are you going to check that she shaved and washed first. Are you going to confirm with the clinic that her negative tests are genuine or take her word for it. Let's hope you don't start talking to her as she might tell you why she sells her body for a living. Lots of these women are exploited and underpaid and many live in fear or take drugs. Still sound attractive? Let's hope you come quickly and don't enjoy it too much before you get a conscience about what you are doing.

Source: Sexual Health Nurse.

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