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12Next > [2 pages, 54 answers]

Do I choose my husband or my boyfriend?

Q.   I need advice very badly. I'm in a predicament I never thought I would find myself in though I have seen it on the site before. I am having to choose between two men. Each have their strengths and weaknesses. One is my husband, not what you think or ...

A.   23 January 2014: Wow, you do have yourself in a predicament here. There are some things that you should consider here. " Can I live the rest of my life with a horrible sex life?" " How long can I stand being in a relationship that you dont love the other person?" ... (read in full...)

My husband of 9 years cheated for numerous times. How can I get over this?

Q.   I have asked for help several time on dear cupid and now need more advice. I found out my husband of 9 years cheated. Not just once, but this went on for months during the most difficult time of our lives. It hurts me more because he didnt feel bad ...

A.   27 September 2013: Thanks for all the advice so far. It seems I left a lot of questions as well. The most difficult time in our lives I am referring to is placed a child for adoption because it was unplanned and found out late in my pregnancy. This put a lot of strain ... (read in full...)

Can an affair with a married man ever end happily for the other woman?

Q.   Hello everyone. Before I begin, I realize I am opening myself up to a firestorm of very harsh judgment, name calling and comments from Dear Cupid's advice givers and readers. Please do not judge me. We all walk different paths in life and make...

A.   26 September 2013: As a wife that has been cheated on....its hard to hear this from the other side. Just imagine if you were her. I cant tell you what to do or how to do it, just think about what you are doing to another woman. And what if he leaves his wife for you? ... (read in full...)

I feel like I'm out of the loop on his life

Q.   I am 27 and have been with my boyfriend for 4 years next month. The problem I have with him is he hardly ever tells me things he is doing and I feel that I am left out of a lot of his life. For example, this weekend I saw him on Friday night when we ...

A.   10 June 2013: After 4 years, there should be some things established, like I would like to know your whereabouts. There needs to be a serious conversation on what is and isnt acceptable in the relationship and then determine if from there if its what you want ... (read in full...)

My bf's attention to his ex is hurting me. Am I being unreasonable? Help.

Q.   I'm getting really down in the dumps about my boyfriend messaging his ex behind my back all the time. They split up 10 years ago but he speaks to her more than any of his other friends. He knows I find it uncomfortable and its starting to hurt me. ...

A.   10 June 2013: I completely feel where you are coming from. I dont have the same issue with the ex, but the other behavior sounds very familiar to me. Always turning things back on you, making you feel guilty for questioning him and his whereabouts, yeah I went ... (read in full...)

He doesn't want anymore children and wants me to give this one up for adoption, so what do I choose, being a single mother or giving up my baby?

Q.   I need help. Me and my boyfriend of 8 years are expecting again. Unfortunately for me, he doesnt want anymore children. He has expressed this to me before even before our first child, but he knew since I was 11 years younger than him and didnt have ...

A.   12 December 2012: Thank you everyone for your thoughts and advice. Me and my husband have thought of our options, and have decided that it would be best to place the child for adoption. We have already started looking for the perfect parents. We have the opportunity ... (read in full...)

He doesn't want anymore children and wants me to give this one up for adoption, so what do I choose, being a single mother or giving up my baby?

Q.   I need help. Me and my boyfriend of 8 years are expecting again. Unfortunately for me, he doesnt want anymore children. He has expressed this to me before even before our first child, but he knew since I was 11 years younger than him and didnt have ...

A.   4 December 2012: I was on birth control, which is why I didnt even think I was pregnant. I switched a few times which is the reason my doctor believes I became pregnant. ... (read in full...)

We have only been married for 6 months and he has already lost interest in me!

Q.   Its been 6 months I have been married to my boy friend, but he is not interested in me nor in sexlife,he never enjoys my company to chat nor to have sex with, he is always in his own world working hard, we rarely have sex which is neither enjoyable ...

A.   1 June 2011: Wow only 6 months??!! It definently seems he wasnt ready to get married. Maybe he met someone else before you got married and still went along with the wedding. Whatever it may be, you dont deserve to be treated or to feel like this. If you are not ... (read in full...)

I feel I'm wasting my life with my girlfriend, I want to date others

Q.   Hi Cupids. Im really was just wondering what your opinions are, Im twenty and I dont really go out much, because I lost most of my friends because of my girlfriend. Weve been together for five years and really I know I shouldnt have gone back a...

A.   23 March 2011: Youre right. It looks like youve pretty much been settled since you were 15. If she has you doing things that you are not happy with and she is not willing to give it up , then you need to do whats best for you. Remember you cant make anyone happy ... (read in full...)

Younger sister needs advice. To date or not date the ex of her older sister? SWOT analysis please?

Q.   A lady in the same family dated a guy, and they later broke up, because the lady left him for his friend. now the guy (who was dumped by the above lady in the family) wants to date the younger sister of the lady in the family. what is the yo...

A.   23 March 2011: Some men just like the fact that they can say they had both sisters. And think of it like this, if you sleep with him, youre also sleeping with your sister. I have a sister and if she ever dated one of my exes I probably wouldnt speak to her. ... (read in full...)

Is it worth trying things with him? His ex wants him back

Q.   I like him, he has definitely been flirting according to all body language signs and some comments and things, all my friends have been trying to get us together, but I just found out he is still in love with his ex who he broke up with a couple of ...

A.   23 March 2011: Definently make him aware that you dont want to be a rebound or just someone to do until he decides if he wants to be back with her. Its nothing worse than feeling like the one you have can be taken away at any moment another woman calls and wants ... (read in full...)

Partner has photos of naked models on his phone. I feel crushed

Q.   hi i`m in a right state here,please,please help. i have been with my partner for 12 years. we have 2 children and enjoy being a family. we do have a healthy sex life and i love him with all my heart. on sunday he showed me some pics he`d taken on ...

A.   23 March 2011: I completely understand how you feel. My bf watches porn. It used to bother me but after 7 years of being together (sometimes it bothers me if hes not taking care of me) He explained to me that men like variety even if they cant have it. He also ... (read in full...)

Why does boyfriend keep me a secret from his family?

Q.   Ive being in a relationship for the last 5 months. This isnt an easy relationship as I dont get why my bf never asks me to meet his family. We live really close to each other but he never asks me round his house unless there no one there. This guy ...

A.   23 March 2011: Yes, this is strange. It could be a few things. Either he is not looking to get too serious in your relationship, he has a girlfriend that has already met the family, or he just doesnt want people to know about you. But you should really address ... (read in full...)

After sex it takes him about 30 minutes to recover,is this normal?

Q.   My partner is 20 turning 21 and after he cums hes penis starts to die and it takes him around 30mins or more for him to have another erection is this normal? or dose he have a problem i don't know for he was my first sexual partner please help...

A.   23 March 2011: No, its normal. We as women can sometimes just go and go if you know what I mean. But men lose alot of energy when they cum. He's 21 wait til he gets in his 30's, you may have to wait until the next day. But if you ware him out....take it as a ... (read in full...)

Everytime he leaves the house for work, I always wonder what he's really up to.

Q.   Help! About a year ago I found out that my husband had numerous accounts online -- from dating sites to webcam sites. He had pictures of himself on some of these sites in his profile. I have caught him several times searching yahoo personals. He ...

A.   4 June 2010: I can relate. Once you have been betrayed. Its hard to trust again. If you block it, it only makes him want to do it more. He feels a excitment from trying to hide it. Put the ball in his court. Explain to him that what he is showing you is that ... (read in full...)

He cheated and now I have trust issues

Q.   i have been seeing my boyfriend for 9 years now he as all ways been a kind and caring person but last december he cheated on me 2 days after he came and told me.i could not believe what he had done so i kicked him out and we finished for about a ...

A.   17 April 2010: I know exactly how you feel. My boyfriend and I have been together for 6 yrs and he cheated. Now we are back together and I still have those trust issues. I do explain to him that if he wants to be with me, he has to tolerate it until I am ... (read in full...)

Why was making love this time so intense?

Q.   I need a woman's advice here! I was making love with my girlfriend last night and as usual the sex is great, we have been together for 3 years now and we have had lots of fun in and out the bedroom!! but as we were making love we both came together ...

A.   17 April 2010: Matbe she's just emotional, either PMS or she is pregnant. I've even teared up while having sex before but that was because it felt THAT good. Enjoy it.... (read in full...)

Can you love 2 people at the same time?

Q.   my ex left me for another girl 8 months ago yet we've still remained in touch. he says he still loves me and would like to think we'll get back together some day. he also admits that he loves her and doesnt know what to do. What's he playing at? You ...

A.   9 April 2010: He is playing you both. He is keeping you there just in case the other girl doesnt work out. HE LEFT YOU. That tells you something right there. If you really loved you, he wouldnt have left you for her. Do you really want to be with someone that can ... (read in full...)

Friend gave me head while I was asleep.....

Q.   I was at a party with my GF and we slept on the couch of a female friend that was hosting the party. I was on one end sort of sitting back and my GF was laying in the opposite direction. Well the problem is I wake up at about 6:30 am and look...

A.   30 March 2010: WOW! As I read in disblief. She was really disrespectful, especially since your GF was right there and could have awaken at any moment. What if your GF put her up to it to see if you would tell her. What if your GF wasnt really sleep and was waiting ... (read in full...)

We has sex and now he is not answering my text messages. Do I play it 'cool' or chase him?

Q.   i have known this guy for a few weeks now, i have met with him only once and fell imidietly attracted to him... we spent the night together and i didnt sleep with him... after 3weeks i herd from him again wanting to catch up, so we did and had an ...

A.   27 March 2010: Well this sounds common with men and even with some women. Men usually only want what they cant have. So if you want his attention, I'll tell you like my dad told me. Always look your best when he sees you and make sure you are always smiling. When ... (read in full...)

How do you keep him interested when others like him?

Q.   we both like each other, i probably like him more but i know he does actaully like me to some point. he speaks to me online for hours sometimes and says really sweet things. we hardly see each other in person as we dont have any mutal friends ...

A.   16 March 2009: Find out where his head is. Of course men say sweet things to women, Im sure you're not the only one, not to sound harsh, thats men. I think this is a perfect issue to determine your future with this guy if any. If he really likes you and is ... (read in full...)

Lying so no one gets hurt

Q.   I would like people's opinions on whether i am doing right by lying to a friend to ensure she doesn't get hurt. My friend and i were very close at one point but we don't really speak as much anymore, not as much as we used to anyway. Anyway, she ...

A.   16 March 2009: Put yourself in her shoes. What would you want her to do if she did it. Would you want her to tell you? Everything done in the dark comes to light no matter how good you are at hiding it. Let the truth set you free of your social life with be ruined ... (read in full...)

Am I being paranoid here? Am I crazy???

Q.   I have taken a pregnancy test that came out negative, but my period is irregular, I'm gaining weight even though I'm dieting and exercising, I'm tired, my boobs are sore, and are getting bigger and I'm always hungry. I just don't want to be one of ...

A.   3 February 2009: I went to my doctor this morning and demanded an ultrasound and to EVERYONES surprise I am 17wks pregnant. Thanks for all the answers and advice everyone gave. So I think its important for ever woman to know a negative test response does not mean ... (read in full...)

Men making noise during sex

Q.   To all the ladies out there, what do you think about men making noice during sex? Turn on or a turn off?...

A.   2 February 2009: Depends on the sounds he's making. Of course if you want to tell me how you feel, or how it feels to you, tahn great, just not sounds that would scare her dry.... (read in full...)

My girlfriend likes porn a lot. Is this normal?

Q.   At first, I thought male are more likely get addicted in watching porn. The case now is my gf likes it a lot. She even asked me to watch with her. At first, I thought that is a way she tell me how she likes it. The more she get into porn, the m...

A.   30 July 2008: No its not a problem. It is absolutely normal. I watch porn alot and masterbate on occassion, usually with my BF. Try watching with her and interacting with her while watching, so you dont have to feel she will go else where for sex. Yes, my bf had ... (read in full...)

I've just found out his passwords - do I sneak a peak at his emails?

Q.   I'm having another moral crisis in my relationship, and dont know what to do... I've known my boyfriend for aboutfour years, we've been in a relationship for nearly two. Basically at Christmas last year I saw he had messaged one of his ex girlfrie...

A.   22 July 2008: Again like the rest, I have been in the same situation. I looked and found what was to be the most heart breaking thing I had ever read in my life. He was very good at manipulating me to believe what he wanted me to believe even if I KNEW what he ... (read in full...)

My curvy Goddess is trying to slim down! How can I tell her I like her the way she is?

Q.   my girlfriend and i have been together for about 6 months and she is the largest girl that i have ever dated (shes about 5feet 6 inches and about 180 pounds. before her i only liked women with slim bodies but found myself so attracted to her curvy ...

A.   1 July 2008: Well this sounds like me and my BF. I was the first full figured woman he dated. She may be trying to loose weight to make herself feel better. The best thing you can do is to SUPPORT her in what ever she wants to do and not stop her for your own ... (read in full...)

What is going on? Is he cheating?

Q.   About 4 months ago I was checking his phone for someone's phone number and noticed a message. I checked his messages and it was a women that he works with telling him that she missed him and wants him to come visit her again. She ended the message ...

A.   11 April 2008: For him to get so defensive and tell you that what he does is none of your business is suspicous in itself. Everything either of you do will affect the other in some way. Also that fact that she called to give him a heads up is fishy too, if he is ... (read in full...)

He hates condoms!

Q.   I've recently began having sex with my boyfriend, and I went on the pill, so we could have unprotected sex together (as we know we have no STIs and are regularly checked anyway). Yet, now I've decided to not be on the pill, as its easier if he just ...

A.   31 January 2008: Its your body, although you want him to be happy, you also want to happy yourself. You need to come up with some sort of compromise. Maybe you can get on the shot, or explore other birth control options like maybe the patch. In the end its really up ... (read in full...)

Why do many females, that have been raped--become sexually active after this crime agianst them?

Q.   Look Im at with young females so they ask me this question " Why does female became very sexaulity active after they been rape. So can someone please answer that question for me....

A.   29 December 2006: I was molested at the age of 10-12. I became sexually active at the age of 14. I feel that is because now we feel like we want to be excepted, we want to feel needed and some way we start to feel protected by the guy while we are with them. Truly no ... (read in full...)

Bras hurt me and I just can't wait to take them off! What can be done?

Q.   i cant wear bras, i tried 4 just a year, it hurts so much, i've even figured out a way to get my bra off with my t-shirt on since it is soooooo painful. it pulls in my chest so i cant breath i doesnt help becuase i have asthma. i have been fitted ...

A.   4 December 2006: try to go a size bigger as far as around your chest and then adjust it from there... (read in full...)

I feel like he should want to see me more. I don't want to push him but it's making me frustrated!

Q.   Please help me understand this one. Men your opions would be good. Been seeing my man now for eight months he says he loves me. But we still only see each other one night in the week, and most nights of the weekend. Although sometimes on a Friday he ...

A.   1 December 2006: Im sorry to be the one to tell you this, but it sounds like he may have a "full time" girl friend and you are the "part time" girlfriend. If you were the only one there would be more time for you. You may be confronting the wrong thing. Instead of ... (read in full...)

He avoided answering me about a sexually explicit text I saw on his phone from another girl!

Q.   I was using my boyfriends phone to make a phone call and once I was done I looked at his phone and saw my name that I called and then saw a message from another girl. So I looked at the message and saw that is was pretty sexual and explicit. I had ...

A.   14 November 2006: Please if this is your man you have the right, he dont have any business allowing another woman besides you, friend or not, send him any messages that include anything sexual. Get him right before its too late. Good luck... (read in full...)

Would it be wise for me to move in with my bf and his friend?

Q.   My boyfriend is refusing to ask his friend to leave the house they share. He has said that i can move in with them. Is this wise?...

A.   3 November 2006: No, dont do it, you cant walk around your house the way you want and always have to creep to have sex and do what you want to do, and you want to be able to walk around the house naked if you choose to. So tell him its either you or his best friend, ... (read in full...)

My guy doesn't like oral because...he doesn't like the way a vagina looks! What is wrong with him??

Q.   Is my fella under-confident with giving me oral sex, or is he just a selfish lover? He's gave it to me twice in 15 months.He says he doesnt like the look of a vagina, cos it looks sore? Hes good at it and ive told him.He'll do it 4 me on my birth...

A.   3 November 2006: Do it in the dark, tell him dont look at "just put it in your mouth". (lol) You have to let him know it goes both ways, a penis dont look all that cute either, so if he wants you to do it he's going to have to give. Good luck and have fun.... (read in full...)

He cheated with his son's mom and I forgave him. How can I start feeling secure with us again?

Q.   I have been dating my guy for 6 months now. And already we have crossed a lot of hurdles that we shouldn't have had to. To start things off, he cheated on me with his son's mother when we first got together. I forgave him and all. But now we fight a ...

A.   3 November 2006:  I am in the same position except my bf has not cheated with his Baby Mama ( as far as I know ) you have to set your foot down, I tol my bf he has no business even talking to her unless it is reguarding their child. If he has no interest he woul... (read in full...)

I'm stuck in this dead end relationship with a man I don't love! Help!

Q.   I have been with a guy who is 15 years older than me for 6 years. I got with him when I was 17, and I ended up moving in with him within 3 months of us seeing each other, it was a complicated situation, I felt like I was being forced into it. ...

A.   3 November 2006: I feel that a dead end relationship is a relationship that does not progress, which is not the case here. He is moving forward and wanting to spend the rest of his life with you. I think that you know that this man loves you truly and I think that ... (read in full...)

My boyfriend has started to drink more and more, should I be concerned ??

Q.   My boyfriend likes a beer but has started having 2 and 3 beers every night. Is this normal or should I be concerned?...

A.   31 October 2006: I had that problem before, it came out that my bf was doing another drug that caused him to want to drink more, you shld inquire more before jumping to conclusions. good luck... (read in full...)

Who do I choose-my wonderful new man or my husband who left me for another woman?

Q.   My husband left me for another woman, I was devastated but eventually tried to move on and even began seeing someone else. Now my husband has left the other woman and says he@ll do anything to get me back! I am very confused and dont want to hurt ...

A.   31 October 2006: if he left you once he'll do it again when he see's or comes across another woman he may be interested in. If you're happy stay that way. Good luck... (read in full...)

I told him I didn't like the idea of sharing a hotel room with two cute blondes, one with big breasts who he's slept with!

Q.   Last week a woman called and left a voicemail for my boyfriend, stating that she would be in town in a few days and wanted to see him. I grabbed the phone before she hung up and introduced myself as his girlfriend (he wasn't at home at the time). ...

A.   26 October 2006: Do let him or her push you around, he should respect the fact that you are not compfortable and make other arrangments unless he is trying to sleep in the same room with her. He has lied and said they never had sex so hes' hiding something and i ... (read in full...)

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