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My curvy Goddess is trying to slim down! How can I tell her I like her the way she is?

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Question - (1 July 2008) 8 Answers - (Newest, 13 July 2008)
A male United States age 36-40, anonymous writes:

my girlfriend and i have been together for about 6 months and she is the largest girl that i have ever dated (shes about 5feet 6 inches and about 180 pounds. before her i only liked women with slim bodies but found myself so attracted to her curvy body (tummy, buns, thighs, even her arms :)

A few weeks ago I noticed that she looked a little slimmer. Today she told me that shes gonna join a gym. I really dont want her to change her sexy goddess overweight body.

how can i tell her that i want her body the way it is?

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A female reader, Belladonna United States +, writes (13 July 2008):

Its her body, hun. If she wants to slim down, that's her decision to make.

However, I do think its VERY sweet and you love her so much the way she is. Encourage her, but let her know that she doesn't need to change a thing.

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A reader, anonymous, writes (2 July 2008):

Leave out words like "overweight" or "large". But I love your curves my sexy goodess seems about right. If she wants to loose weight then you got to help and support her. But before she looses her curves, keep on compliment her on how beautiful you think her body is. Unfortunately when she looses weight, you'll have to lie and say "yeah babes you look great."

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A male reader, Devil Spawn South Africa +, writes (2 July 2008):

Devil Spawn agony auntI understand my friend, my wife has curves (after 2 kids) and I think she is the most sexy woman to ever grace the earth. I hate stick women.. No good.

Women with curves and soft skin......that is the best gift god gave man.

The thing is your other half may want to be healthy and fit? My wife started work outs after her body took time to get over the second baby and lost heaps of weight.

It made her happy and that made me happy. Having said that sometimes she puts on a few pounds and I think she looks stunning.

Did you tell her she was the biggest you had been with? That could be the reason she is doing it? Make sure she is doing it for the right reasons and try to support her.

Good luck my friend!

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A female reader, LIERIN United States +, writes (2 July 2008):

LIERIN agony auntaawww this is like the cutest add! I love it!

You are a good guy ... and I love that you are ok with the way she looks and you are proud of her to be the way she looks.

Just make sure she is happy too.

For example.. i have pretty big butt but othervice I am pretty slim (about size 6) ... my bf loves my butt .. but I just joined hot yoga classes to slim down, cause i am not happy with myself .. i mean .. it makes me happy that he loves me the way i am .. but i need to love myself as well ...

so just make sure, she is happy with herself too ...

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A female reader, lexilou United Kingdom +, writes (1 July 2008):

lexilou agony auntTell her exactly what you told us apart from the fact that she is the biggest woman you've ever been with! Tell her not to loose to many curves as you love her the way she is.

I was curvy but slim when I met my hubbie and went up two dress sizes and he still loved me, and loved my huge boobs even more. Ive slimmed down again by one and half dress sizes so Im in between which is a pain when buying clothes so I want to go that extra half a size. He says a bit of toning is all I need as he doesnt want me to lose my shape, the curves are in all the right places. However he knows at the end of the day it has to be about what I want too. Just let her know you will love her at any shape x

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A female reader, pepper27 United Kingdom +, writes (1 July 2008):

pepper27 agony auntHi Hunny

You can tell her you love her the way she is but if she is not happy within for herself then should you not be happy that she wants to help herself feel better..It really sounds sweetheart that she needs this for herself confidence and self esteem loosing a few pounds and joining a gym will make her feel better inside more confident this is what she wants to do so hunny you can tell her your happy with the way she looks which is lovely but also if you love who she is then that comes from the inside and she will be a happier person on the inside if she is doing this for herself. love her for who she is and be proud of her for what she wants to achieve. TAKE CARE WITH LOVE MANDY XXXXXXX

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A reader, anonymous, writes (1 July 2008):

You could tell her, or you could see it from her point of view. Its her life, she has to live with it and I'm sure she'd rather be comfortable with her own image, get more friends than be uncomfortable. You don't have to live with it.

Imagine if you were her. Would you be comfortable being slim and fit or larger?!

However if you really have an issue and really don't want her to change, you could just talk to her about it - like what your asking. There isn't a WAY to tell her, you just have to say, "I love you the way you are (make it clear that you love her body and not her overall if you don't) and I don't want you to change."

But again remember that it is her descision, and you should respect it. Why don't you support her as it will be hard for her? Go to the gym as well! - unless of course your so upset shes loosing her figure that you want it instead, which is of course another solution?

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A female reader, Ne'cee +, writes (1 July 2008):

Ne'cee agony auntWell this sounds like me and my BF. I was the first full figured woman he dated. She may be trying to loose weight to make herself feel better. The best thing you can do is to SUPPORT her in what ever she wants to do and not stop her for your own reasons. If she is THICK, take it from me, those curves are going no where too fast. Be sure to compliment her as much as possible and let her know you like what you see. Working out and losing some weight will benefit you both in the long run. Her stamina will increase and you might like a THICK-TONED woman too.

Good luck to you both

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