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female
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anonymous
writes: My boyfriend is refusing to ask his friend to leave the house they share. He has said that i can move in with them. Is this wise? Reply to this Question
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female
reader, Ne'cee +, writes (3 November 2006):
 No, dont do it, you cant walk around your house the way you want and always have to creep to have sex and do what you want to do, and you want to be able to walk around the house naked if you choose to. So tell him its either you or his best friend, cant have both. Good luck
A
female
reader, Sexybum  +, writes (3 November 2006):
 Hiya do you mind if answering ine question for me.. How old are you and your partner? I only ask because as Stina said the age that you are does make a difference to which living arrangements are suitable...
Either way I can understand him refusing to 'tell' his flat mate to go out whne your round... because it's his flat mates place as well.. He can't just tell him to leave because he wants the place to himself... But he could ask his flat mate to give you some privacy once in a while... My boyfriend is staying with me at the moment and I would still quite happiliy say to him.. Do you mind making yourself scarce for the night I've got the girls coming round...
You should think about how much space there is in the f
lat.. Would it get overcrowded when you move in... and another biggy is would end cleaning up after them!! The main things to consider are would you have the same 'status' as them in the house or would you have to 'do as your told cause it's their place'! Would you feel peeved off cause you still wouldn't get your boyfriend to yourself?
I'd suggest that you get your own place without the lads and just invite your boy friend round there....
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A
female
reader, Jovial  +, writes (3 November 2006):
 Hi,
Personally intimately i dont think its wise, u and ur boyfriend will need some privacy or time alone at times and how are u gonna accomplish that if he is in ur space? Ur bf need to decide if he rilly need u to move in as he cant have both u under the same roof. question- are they buying this house together or they are just tenants sharing the bill? If they are tenants why cant ur bf find another place 4the two of u if he thinks asking his friend out might be too much? Is the housemate agreeing to or aware of this move-in thinging? if he is not keen to this idea moving in will cause too much tention and u might end up splitting up or the friendship will be compromised
But if they are sharing the mortage it will also be a complicated situation that will need a lot of compromising on both parties including u, its either they both give up the house and sell it so that he can commit himself to u or u will have to move in with both of them for this to work.
this might help if u r questioning his commitment to u: what are his reasons for refusing? if they dont make sense and u are the one who suggested the move it might be he is not ready to move in with u. evaluate his reasons and judge for urself. good luck
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A
female
reader, stina  +, writes (3 November 2006):
 I should add that I wrote the last part thinking you two were on the young side. If you're not, then living all together might not be such a "fun" idea. In that case, I would maybe rethink the idea of moving in together. Maybe you could plan to live together in several months. Your bf could tell his friend the plans and his friend would then have adiquate time to make plans for his future.
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A
female
reader, stina +, writes (3 November 2006):
Hi Anon,
Everyone has different experiences when it comes to roommates. In my past experience, I lived with my bf and our best friend. Long story short, after 4 months we were no longer friend with the roommate b/c of personal differences. My guy and me ended up getting our own place together afterwards.
So I guess what I'm saying is that you could always try giving it shot. Worst case is that you just move out again and find a place with your guy later.
I'm wondering why he doesn't want to get a place with you, though. Maybe he feels like he would be kicking his roommate out on the streets? I could totally understand where he's coming from if that's the case. If not, and they're just really close then maybe it wouldn't be such a bad idea. It might be fun living all together.
Take care.
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