Like what
she writes?
... Add *amaBear to your favourite agony aunts
Want to get in touch?
... Send *amaBear a private message | | | *amaBear's profile:For starters, I have a Masters degree in Community Counseling - although I have never been in this capacity as a paid professional. I think that my main objective in answering the questions, is that I have a lot of life experiences and feel that I can bring some honest answers to the concerns. I was divorced young, left with four children to raise as a single parent, had to go to school to learn a profession to keep me off the welfare rolls, found it necessary to move to a new town to "start over" upon the completion of my training, and have been successful in raising my children to adulthood, and have enjoyed most days of my long life. I live in the Midwestern United States. In 2009, my former husband died and now, I'm told, that I am a widow. I have not let a broken marriage, nor a man who did not want me or his family, stop me from becoming a very successful woman! But it did not happen over night. |
|
I feel obligated to sleep with him
Q. I would really appreciate if somebody could answer me. So here's the story; It begins like every other lovestory: girl meets boy, girl likes boy and boy feels the same. We started dating like two months ago nad it has been really fun. He is really c...
A. 22 March 2011: Where is your parent while all this is going on? I feel a girl of 13 is too young to sleep overnight at a guy's place, to experiment sexually, and to ask us for advice! Talk this over with your mother or a school nurse or counselor. Whatever you ... (read in full...)
I always get a rash after shaving! What's wrong with me?
Q. Hi, well I've got a very embarrassing question that really needs answering. I'm 15 years old and well I'm a bit worried. Every time I shave my legs and nether regions I seem to get these little spots that appear like a rash. Its worse on my nether ...
A. 22 March 2011: My legs and my underarms do not respond to shaving - and never have. Part of it may be the blade on your razor. At your age, you may not have the money to invest in a really good razor and blade. Do not reuse the blade too many times, as that ... (read in full...)
During a break from my boyfriend, he got another girl pregnant!
Q. iv been in a relationship for around 8 months and i love the guy im with to pieces. during the 8 months we've been on and off and during a period while we were off, my bf had a one night stand with some girl and he did make me aware of this. we are...
A. 22 March 2011: Let me ask you, why, oh why, do you want to get back with a bf who's in a pile of trouble? At your age, you should be having fun in school, participating in the extracurricular activities, enjoying the sports offered at your school, finding a ... (read in full...)
How do I change the way I am?
Q. Hello, Recently me and my boyfriend have had huge fights, we have been together for 2 years, recently the fights just seem to be him having goes at me, pointing out all my flaws, calling me arrogant and other things. And he says that unless i ch...
A. 22 March 2011: It has taken you many years to become the person you now are. If you change just because some guy wants or expects you to do so, you will not be true to yourself. He must have seen something in you that attracted him. You need to seriously ... (read in full...)
B/f thought I was going to dump him so he broke up with me!
Q. My bf now ex and i broke up a few days ago.....I am still madly in love with him! he says he is still in love with me and I am the best thing that ever happened to him. I am asked why he broke up with me in the first place and he said it was b/c ...
A. 22 March 2011: Oh, Lordy, put all this energy into your studies. Put it into your extracurricular school activities. Babysit and earn some money. You are too young to be mooning over a guy who may or may not like you. Save that serious stuff for later on. For ... (read in full...)
How can I save a dead relationship while pregnant?
Q. Its not working with the bf. I am 11 wks pregnant. This was a complete accident. He is now living with me but its hell. There is no sex, we sleep in separate rooms and when there is sex its not that great. He can't stay hard or at most he will only ...
A. 22 March 2011: First, if you were having unprotected sex then the pregnancy is "no accident" as you state. So, with this clear, you need to concentrate on your future and that of your unborn child. You surely are old enough to know that life is too short to put ... (read in full...)
Should I continue to pursue a relationship with a girl who is now going back to try and work things out with the father of her child?
Q. I been talking to this girl for the past 4 months and when I met her she just gotten out of a relationship with a guy she has a daughter with. This guy lives in another state and about a month ago he came down to see his daughter and in the process ...
A. 22 March 2011: This young mother has a major problem only she can solve. If the father of the child intends to come soon, I see no reason for you to hang around in the picture. A ready-made family is a big responsibility. Are you ready for this? But, my ... (read in full...)
Does he have feelings for me or am I more of a booty call?
Q. I've known this guy since i was 17, we met in a club and kissed, he's ten years older than me but neither of us knew until the next day. In the next 6 months we bumped into eachother a couple of times during social events/parties and became good ...
A. 21 March 2011: You sound like you're quite "available" every time this guy comes to town. And, being 10 years older than you means he has more experience in the dating world! This guy may like you, but the distance between you makes an on-going relationship ... (read in full...)
Because of my husband's child from a previous marriage, my family hardly ever gets my husband for just OUR family time together...
Q. I am having a massive life crisis, and seem stuck in a rut I don’t know I want to be in. I have been with my husband for eight years, we have two children together and he has a child from a previous marriage. His other child lives 3 hours ...
A. 20 March 2011: You did not mention if you and the father of the children are married. If not, I'd suggest leaving this scenario. Life is too short for this kind of "neglect". You mentioned a career in nursing, and other things you gave up for this man. Now you ... (read in full...)
I'm having two affairs with married men
Q. hello, im 44 and am having two affairs with married men i myself are single with one daughter, i dont really feel i want these affairs but feel guilty about finishing them i have tried changing my phone no but they still get in touch what should ...
A. 19 March 2011: A little honesty will go a long way! I suggest you just tell each married guy what you told us. Where does any guilt come in from telling someone that your feelings have changed. Or, has he bought you a house or something extravagant in exchange ... (read in full...)
I gave up my baby because of him! How do I move on?
Q. I am so broken hearted and I can't stop crying. For almost four years I loved someone and put up with so much just to ultimately end up with nothing. I feel so used and taken for granted, and I'm not the type that even ends up in these kinds of ...
A. 19 March 2011: Oh, how I wish you had given your child up to a family desperately wanting a child. But now is too late for that. This involves both you and he but, I think, you will pay a dear price for this "romance" and the termination of the pregnancy. Yes, ... (read in full...)
I'm pregnant with his baby but he wants someone else!
Q. hi, im 22 yrs old and im pregnant for a guy who doesnt like me not 1bit, he saw me as a bootycall, few weeks ago i found out that im pregnant for the first time and the guy aint intrested he told me he doesnt want nothing to do with me or the baby, ...
A. 19 March 2011: You have a few choices. Move on and far away from the guy. Decide about this child - to keep the baby as it is a part of you, or to adopt it to a loving family. If you do decide to keep the child, make certain you take the father to court for ... (read in full...)
I don't want to come between my friend and his wife
Q. My guy friend likes me and he is unhappy in his marriage and says that his child is the only thing holding them together in marriage. I don't know how to help him and how to talk to him because I like him a lot and really don't want to come between ...
A. 19 March 2011: Suggeston #1: keep moving on in your life. There are professional marriage counselors around for this couple to meet with and sort out their "problems". He is married. Period. As for the feeble excuse about staying together for a child, forget ... (read in full...)
Me single, her married, but SO INTENSE!
Q. there is a woman at work i have been sleeping with for about a year, there were so many feelings shared early in the relationship that were outstanding on both our parts. Well theres a huge problem, She has been married for twenty years but has ...
A. 19 March 2011: With all the lovely women in the world looking for relationships, why would you settle for a married woman? This is your problem to figure out! A married woman is not 100% free to be your mate. And, if she were free, would she play around on you? ... (read in full...)
He's three years older and might be my first kiss
Q. Hey everyone! So I really like this guy and I liked him a whole lot at the start 4 months ago but now I like him but I don't get so nervous everytime I see him. I've never been kissed and I told him that a couple of nights ago. He said that he would ...
A. 19 March 2011: So, what did he have in mind when you two "hang out" with each other? You did not mention this. So, he kisses you? Whoopee! But, keep it at the kissing because he is 3 years older. If you two get carried away, then what? Are there no guy... (read in full...)
Younger boyfriend not allowed to date?
Q. I am 18 and my boyfriend just turned 16. We have been dating for 6 months now and are very much in love. We are best friends and can talk about anything. Problem is, we only see each other at a monthly local youth-group-party for teens (where we ...
A. 19 March 2011: My suggestion is to find a guy who is your own age and is able to do the things you want, can relate to your needs, and all that an older teen needs and wants. Maybe you should think about a part-time job to take up some of your time, or volunteer ... (read in full...)
I dealt with my insecurity by wearing coloured contact lenses -- does that present a false image?
Q. This sounds stupid but i really want as many opinions on this as i can get. So here's the story, i'm attractive and i mean that in a non snobbish way! But yet ever since i started clubbing i've worn coloured contacts every time (very natural lo...
A. 18 March 2011: If you can afford to buy the colored contacts, then go ahead and have fun! My granddaughter had fun with her contacts in high school and college. However, just ensure you do not damage your eyes in any way with these unnecessary add ons - like a ... (read in full...)
I'm married but want to talk to my ex!
Q. dear cupid, I 18 years old and married with a daughter she is 10 months I have recently found out that my ex is back from the marines and I really miss him and want to talk to him badly but I know If I do my husband will be mad but I am still ma...
A. 18 March 2011: Sit down and re-read the letter you just wrote to us. What a "mess" and what extra baggage you have in your young life. Why did you marry your husband, or were you pregnant and felt you had to? Had you broken up with your ex prior to his leaving ... (read in full...)
I'm scared to move in with him and set up house when marriage might not be on the cards!
Q. I've been with my boyfriend for just over a year and a half. We took things very slowly and now have a strong relationship built on trust and respect. Last year we set up an art business together, and he often talks about properties we'll buy in the ...
A. 18 March 2011: Before you get too much into moving in with your guy w/o marriage, there are several other problems to consider or need clearing up! What will this do with your living arrangement and financial support at your parent's residence? You mentioned ... (read in full...)
Complicated mess with a father, his mistress, son and wife....
Q. A son and his father ,aged 63, have started together a successful company that has over 30 employees. The problem started when one of the female employees wanted to start an affair with the boss which is the father. The father is married and has 4 ...
A. 18 March 2011: This is a problem between the father and his wife. He is old enough to make honest and decent choices but obviously doesn't. The world is full of women looking for sugar daddies. And, wives who also like the advantages that money provides. He ... (read in full...)
Should I stay with him and force the relationship to work?
Q. hi im 16 and my ex boyfriend is 18 we dated for 2 years and recently broke up 1 month ago and he has been living wit me for close to 2 years and is like a part of the family he still lives wit me even tht were broke up he has nowhere else to go it ...
A. 16 March 2011: So, you and the guy have been together since you were about 14. This means you have not had a taste of life! For example: dating, flirting, interacting with classmates, school activities, girl friends, maybe a part-time job, going to the Prom, ... (read in full...)
Should I go to my ex's house and tell his family he cheated on me?
Q. What should I do? are my friends right? ? My ex boyfriend cheated on me, betrayed my trust and my love for him. I loved him so much and he hurt me and lied to my face over and over. He told me he doesn't want a relationship and wan...
A. 16 March 2011: Return the items to his home. Period. His family does not need to know the reasons behind your breakup - and would they care? I honestly see no reason to divulge such info to his family. You have no idea what he may have already said, whether ... (read in full...)
The way these guys talk about me is hurtful, what should I do?
Q. hi..i speak friendly and socially to all my classboys..but in front of me they speak as a friend and behind me they speak like they love me..this hurts me a lot..do i need to ask them directly or leave that way till they say directly to me or i ...
A. 16 March 2011: Whoa! This sounds interesting. How do you know they are saying these things behind your back? Do you have an informer with big ears who hears all this gossip? Do you give the classboys any reason to think they love you? Have you been involved ... (read in full...)
Promise rings......
Q. What are some things I should know about giving a woman a promisory ring? What does it mean on both sides?...
A. 16 March 2011: I have always thought of promissory rings as being a more teen ager thing! I suppose as one gets older it is assumed that he/she can afford a better ring, say an engagement ring. I may be wrong. Never have gotten one and have only seen about one, ... (read in full...)
Six hours watching naked women?
Q. is it a problem when your man sit in front of you and watch a naked women web site for six hours...
A. 16 March 2011: Doesn't he get hungry or have 'personal needs breaks 'in the six hours? Where are you in this scenario? Get your coat and leave the dude in his own world. ... (read in full...)
I don't want to hang around just because her kids dad is here!
Q. i am changing the names in this so no one knows who it is directed to... my girlfriend and i have been dating for the past 8 months. we have known each other for about 3 years now. she moved in with me about a month before we got together and now ...
A. 16 March 2011: For everyone's sake, end this drama now. You have your future. And, her children will always be the number One concern in her life, untill they are grown. Think seriously about your having to change any plans for whatever her kids' dad want. An... (read in full...)
Should I get involved with her even though she has two children and has financial problems?
Q. Hi, I could really do with some relationship advice as I am unsure whether or not I am being wise in my actions or just letting my selfish attitude get in the way. Around five months ago I was asked out by a female friend of mine. She is a really ...
A. 16 March 2011: You gave very honest reasons for why you do not want to get involved with this lady friend. Please stick to your guns! Most women who are divorced or alone and have children, also have a rough time financially. I know. I was a single parent ... (read in full...)
Is it normal to be nervous about getting a pap smear?
Q. My partner is having a pap smear test done and feels very nervous about this. She wants me to hold her hand while it is being done. Can I ask if other women are nervous about this and would like to know what is involved. I think she is worried t...
A. 16 March 2011: Surely, you do not want to be in the room when she has her paps smear. This is a simple test and so necessary for a woman's health. Have her go to a woman gynocologist. I do, and feel very comfortable,. The nurse could be in the room, if ... (read in full...)
I love my girlfriend, but the only thing holding me back from "taking the plunge" is her weight...
Q. Allow me to first say, I FULLY understand the amount of unhealthy pressure and anxiety that society puts on women to look perfect. That being said, here's the low down: I'm 24, she's 22, and we have been dating for roughly 2 years now. I have alwa...
A. 16 March 2011: Think seriously about her weight problem, prior to any marriage. It seems a woman puts on pounds with each baby. Then, what will she weigh? Will she take the time from a busier life to exercise, etc. You cannot make this young woman take bett... (read in full...)
How do I build a wall around my heart?
Q. I am in love with a complete shit who takes and takes and never thinks of anyone but himself even his family are scared of him how do I build a wall around my heart that he cannot get through?...
A. 16 March 2011: If you have a wall built up around your heart to protect yourself from someone trying to get in, remember that the wall will also keep you from getting out to experience new relationships. Trust me, I know. It's safe but lonely behind the wall. ... (read in full...)
I miscarried and it was HER fault!!!!
Q. recently i fell pregnant now im only 14 so initially i was freaking out about it. i had told my boyfriend and he was going to support me on wanting to keep the baby. i told my best friend everything and she was happy for us although i never told my ...
A. 15 March 2011: At 14 you are not old enough to understand the ramifications of having a child out of wedlock, giving birth, no husband in the picture, and then trying to support a child till she/he is 18 or older. If the girl who hit you didn't know of the ... (read in full...)
In 2 short weeks, my emotional life changed completely!
Q. Last summer I had a short, but bright romance which turned me upside down. We've known about each other for about 5 years, we've seen each other, but never spoke in a personnal way. A year ago he started texting me, then invited for a drink - in a ...
A. 15 March 2011: At 45 this guy has been around the bush a time or two! You appear to be too available. You never mentioned if this ex was an ex-wife, or an ex-gf. If an ex-wife, they may have a history that you know little about. Maybe they were trying to ... (read in full...)
Long distance relationship and huge age gap... can this work?
Q. Hi, my name is Alexia I am 19 year old. I live in Canada and I am head over heels for a man who lives in romania, he is 36 year old...divorced and father of a little girl. I met him on vacation down in mexico only hours before my departure. We ha...
A. 14 March 2011: Talk a bout nonsense! Meet a guy, get his name, etc. and live worlds away from each other, You need a bigger world!... (read in full...)
I feel sorry for his fiancé!
Q. My guy friend/co-worker has been engaged for 3 years. Lately he has been physically affectionate, tight hugs, lots of cheek kisses, caressing my face. I am not closely acquainted to his fiancé but I'm pretty sure this is not normal before for a man ...
A. 11 March 2011: Now, it sounds like you know this behavior is not proper for someone who's engaged. Why be a party to it? And, a three-year-long engagement sounds like someone is dragging his or her feet. Listen to you mother and stay away from him. It's just ... (read in full...)
He wants to keep our relationship a secret!
Q. I've been going out with a guy for a few days and we've both been happier than we can remember. I really, really like him, and he tells me I'm beautiful and does everything right. I've fallen hard. The thing is, he wants to keep our relationship ...
A. 11 March 2011: Yep, I have some advice. Back off! There is some reason your newfound interest wants to keep it a secret. Possibly his friends will tease him. Maybe he feels he is too young to be involved so seriously. Maybe his parents object. Maybe his ... (read in full...)
Unhappy tired mom told "give me more sex and I'll be nicer"!
Q. iv been with my other half for 7 years now we have a 2 year old but i feel unhappy my partner works and i stay home with our kid i do all house work, cook and take our child out every day but if i ask my partner to sleep in same room as out kid so i ...
A. 11 March 2011: At age 2, your child should be old enough to leave at least a half day in child care or with a sitter. Then, you can go get a part-time job - maybe even at the child care where you have your child. You'll be around adults. Just being with a small ... (read in full...)
At first I was happy to be engaged but now am worried that I am too young. Anyone have experience with this?
Q. I have been going out with my partner for around 2 n half years and we are engaged I am only 19 and at first I was happy but now I'm having doubts. I am beginning to worry if I am too young as he's the only guy I've ever been with n I'm wond...
A. 11 March 2011: In my opinion, if you are currently having doubts, better to reconsider the marriage. Your guy will recover from your decision. Once you are married, the babies can come rolling in, there can be financial worries, both need to have jobs to afford ... (read in full...)
Please tell me why some women and or girls, are willing to put up with such "crap" from men!
Q. Ladies(and girls), I need your help! Please tell me why some women and or girls, are willing to put up with such "crap" from men! They lie to you, cheat on you, won't allow you to have a life of your own, and if they do? They act like wounded lit...
A. 11 March 2011: Thanks for asking what I too have wondered! Why would a woman (any age) want the crap dished out by some guys rather being alone. And, I am wondering how they fall "in love" so quickly. Almost like a soap opera. Ladies of all ages, heed the ... (read in full...)
I am still in love with married man even though I ended things!
Q. After my ex-husband and I decided to split, I started seeing a man seriously. This man I had met at work turned out to be married (unhappily or so he has professed) and 21yrs my senior. I would have never guessed his age that's for sure; I figured ...
A. 10 March 2011: I guess, for me, I'd want a man who is 100% into me. One who does not have another life elsewhere. I am surprised at the married men who walk around with this tale of woe about their wife. I am more amazed at the number of women who fall for this ... (read in full...)
| *amaBear's friends
These are mutual friends, so *amaBear has
added them and they have added *amaBear!
|
