A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:My guy friend/co-worker has been engaged for 3 years. Lately he has been physically affectionate, tight hugs, lots of cheek kisses, caressing my face. I am not closely acquainted to his fiancé but I'm pretty sure this is not normal before for a man about to be married later this year. I tell him this is inappropriate, and I'm sure his Lady wouldn't approve and is hurtful. He laughs it off and says I'm his best friend and it's all good. we get along well and work great, always the top team at work....but---My best friend is my Mom. And she says stay away from him. I am. I date a lot, but nothing serious, work and culinary school keep me busy. I care about him but I don't fancy him other than a friend and I ask him all the time, do you love her? Do you really want to get married? He says yes of course!! But his actions are shifty, sketchy. I feel sorry for his fiancé, he never brings her to office parties or get togethers with office mates. She's definitely for real, cos I overhear calls and he's always, I love you, bye, home by such and such. Has her pic on his cell.I just want to know is this normal?? because eventually I hope to find someone and hope to God he considers me his best friend and doesn't go around kissing and hugging other girls!! Unless they are my friends too, or relatives....
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female
reader, LizBeth +, writes (12 March 2011):
Of course this isn't appropriate behavior! As for normal, well, it's not normal for a man who loves his fiancee and is looking forward to getting married.
The next time he starts to touch, hug or kiss you, tell him "No" very firmly and move deliberately away from him. Tell him that there is to be no more of this kind of touching and that you're done with it. If he questions you, you don't have to answer him with anything more than that you have decided that you're done with that part of your friendship because it makes you uncomfortable. When he pushes, as he will, you can elaborate by telling him that you would be mad if you had a fiance who did those things and that you won't do that to another woman. Not that he even deserves that much explanation.
Stay away from him as much as you can. Like MamaBear said, listen to your mom!
A
female
reader, MamaBear +, writes (11 March 2011):
Now, it sounds like you know this behavior is not proper for someone who's engaged. Why be a party to it? And, a three-year-long engagement sounds like someone is dragging his or her feet. Listen to you mother and stay away from him. It's just that simple!
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