Boyfriend or crush??
Q. I have a boyfriend and have been with him for 4.5 years and for the past week we have been fighting a lot over nothing, i have recently been feeling attracted to another guy who also has a girlfriend, i know he is also attracted to me because he is ...
A. 3 February 2009: Tell him very strongly for a friendship to work that you should just be friends. And only then if his status changes to single can he ever do those romantic things with you.... (read in full...)
How to disagree and still be nice
Q. How to be nicer on the internet? Things that annoy me about people: 1-when they are really young and into sex already and trying to grow up too fast 2-dumb people on purpose or to annoy 3-mean and insulting people just because. (It's differe...
A. 2 February 2009: Gosh, I didn't see there were still new posts up on this one.
You know, sometimes it's best to best the voice of reason and take the ridicule and low ratings. In the end, it's not about the ratings, but if we have made someone's life better. ... (read in full...)
I can't trust myself not to cheat
Q. Okay big problem I have a boyfriend, but we are both pretty young, his number one rule is do not cheat. well, I'm afraid i will break that rule. I've have a ton of relationships in the past so I know I can date. I have big problems with trust I ...
A. 2 February 2009: I think just by posting this you already have enough conviction that cheating is a horrible thing. Whenever a temptation arises, remind yourself of your wonderful guy and that you wouldn't hurt him like that. Also, try to stay away from dr... (read in full...)
I love boys but when they talk to me I freeze! What can I do?
Q. I love boys... But sometimes I get to nervous to even talk to them or walk and I just listen alot of boys have walked out of my life because I dont talk or get scared and dont do anything example: A boy I lived asked me on a date I just stared a...
A. 28 January 2009: Confidence is a very attractive trait. Also use charm and looks to your advantage, have a decent posture, create a kind of aura around yourself that makes the boys feel a bit nervous.
Practice these traits around your friends, social circles,... (read in full...)
How can I become less bored?
Q. Well my problem is that I'm bored, sounds kind of petty, but no matter what I'm doing, I'm still bored. At school and at work I'm constantly watching the clock, even when I'm hanging with friends I'm always thinking about how bored I am. I've only ...
A. 28 January 2009: Music is anti-boredom. Period.
Put on a playlist whenever you can and jive to whatever you want.... (read in full...)
How do you learn science when you're done with school?
Q. Hey guys. Ok this aint a relationship question but i dont know who to ask. Im from SA as you can see but I was wondering if there was any way possible to do science. Im done with school but i did not choose science as a subject and i so badly want ...
A. 28 January 2009: As a career?
If you do, you'll want to catch up fast, because there are people way ahead of you, pick up as many science college courses as possible, know the scientific method down pat, etc.. You know SA's education system better than I so work ... (read in full...)
Boyfriend or crush??
Q. I have a boyfriend and have been with him for 4.5 years and for the past week we have been fighting a lot over nothing, i have recently been feeling attracted to another guy who also has a girlfriend, i know he is also attracted to me because he is ...
A. 28 January 2009: For now, just don't fall for that guy. Say you started dating him, and he finds some other girl (just like he is now) to flirt with and be all mushy-mushy with. Not a pretty picture. If he cheats on his current g/f, who is to say you wouldn't be ... (read in full...)
Boyfriend or crush??
Q. I have a boyfriend and have been with him for 4.5 years and for the past week we have been fighting a lot over nothing, i have recently been feeling attracted to another guy who also has a girlfriend, i know he is also attracted to me because he is ...
A. 25 January 2009: If a man is taken, it's no good to be flirting with him, especially if it's drawing attention. It will only cause problems for you and him. Try to avoid him. As for your current boyfriend, I don't have any details on the nature of the quarreling, ... (read in full...)
What's the big fuss about being ginger?
Q. Im just wandering do men get put off by ginger public hair? Whats the big fuss bout gingers?...
A. 25 January 2009: I've seen every color of hair work on a girl. But believe me, you're in good company (Alyson Hannigan, Isla Fisher, etc.)... (read in full...)
Do I get him something for Valentine's Day?
Q. I know its really early but I have been dateing a guy for about 2 months and I've known him for about 5 months should i get him anything for valentines day? if so, what should i get him, something small for sure but what? ...
A. 22 January 2009: Chocolate. Around this time or really close they should have valentine packages for a special someone.
Add in a non-food item (a certain book he likes, a movie) and that completes the package.
... (read in full...)
Is this a date?
Q. My friend and I have never been to the movies alone. This will be our first time going. I like him, but I'm not sure how he feels ... Is this a date?...
A. 21 January 2009: It's only a date if you make it one (or he does).
I've hung out one-on-one with certain girls and it never amounted to any romantic outing.... (read in full...)
I love him but his g/f hates him
Q. my best friend and i have been best friends since ninth grade. He's one year older than me. i'm 16. i've recently stopped denying the obvious. i'm in love with my best friend. i've told him...and he's told me that he feels the same way only ...
A. 21 January 2009: I think you should tell him his time has come to get out that hurtful relationship, especially when he tells you he loves you and is already attached, because he is technically cheating.
And after he has broken up (if and when), give him room to ... (read in full...)
Why do girls always fall for the bad guys?
Q. im having girl trouble and i need your help..i have to questions... 1-ok there this girl i really like and we're really close friends and i think she likes me too..but tthe thing is she has a boyfriend and she's always flirting with me and seem...
A. 21 January 2009: 1. Don't fall for it. For all you know, she may tell her boyfriend that you came on to her, and gain a personal enemy. Even with that risk aside, you would be encouraging her cheating and that is low.
2. Let's face it, many of those "bad guys" ar... (read in full...)
Would love sex but have no drive to date a girl...
Q. I don't know what is wrong with me so I really want physical/sexual contact with girls but I have no drive what so ever to date one. I don't know, I could ask out at least 30 off the top of my head that would go out with me. I just don't feel like ...
A. 20 January 2009: Sex is more than just a physical act, it involves emotion, feelings, trust, and is something so wonderful you need to put MUCH effort, time, and work into dating and courtship of a girl you desire, and then when you finally do it, it's not "so you ... (read in full...)
What can I do to protect my sister?
Q. I wrote to you about my sister before. I saw my sister's (she's 14 and her bf is 17 my age) boyfriend hit her. It all started when he pressured her for sex. She told me about it and I just said break up with him she did it like a week later. Then ...
A. 20 January 2009: I know this is going to be really hard for you, but you should tell your parents (and certain other adult authorities) anyway. Her well-being is VERY important and the next time it could be something more than a black eye (that age difference is ... (read in full...)
Three girls love me! I want them all!
Q. I have three girls i have been talking to!! they all have told me they are in love with me!!! I wabt them all but dont want to break their hearts =[=[=[=[, how do i choose??...
A. 19 January 2009: Looking back on my own highschool relationships (see my column), I can infer that you will be walking into a hornets' nest.
Girls (especially your age) like to play games. Lots of them. There will be gossip, jealousy, and all other kinds of vices... (read in full...)
How can I get her to trust me?
Q. So theirs this girl that I like, she's 18.we have been seeing eachtoher for about 3 months. She's great I've never met a girl like her. She's gorgeous (I wish u could she her) theirs just one problem.. The problem is that she's distant with me, she ...
A. 18 January 2009: Friendship. Just continue your basic friendship as best you can and doors may open up.
I once won the love of a girl who had a TERRIBLE past (and she was only able to tell me about that after a while) and was hurt by other guys by just sticking... (read in full...)
Cheating only a drink away..
Q. I'm 18 and in a relationship with the most gorgeous and sweetest boy. I met him at a friends party, he's 21. We've been going out for a few months now and everything is going great. If i'm being honest he' probably my first 'serious' boyfriend. I'm ...
A. 18 January 2009: Love is measured by sacrifice.
If cheating is only a drink away, stay away from the drink. Or even the whole party scene. You should love him enough where you avoid certain triggers (even if they are enjoyable) that will set you off towards ... (read in full...)
How to disagree and still be nice
Q. How to be nicer on the internet? Things that annoy me about people: 1-when they are really young and into sex already and trying to grow up too fast 2-dumb people on purpose or to annoy 3-mean and insulting people just because. (It's differe...
A. 18 January 2009: To be nicer, just think about what you say or post, if it could be construed in a bad way, don't use strong commands.
Unless the situation does demand, a lot of the aunts are pissed, and do have a right to be pissed, on here when some people a... (read in full...)
Am I just a plaything to her?
Q. okay so i am 17 years old and my girl is 16 it seams like i do everthing for here and she always gets wat she wants i love her alot but it seams like all she wants is a little plaything she gets all pissed about everything i do and she tells me im ...
A. 18 January 2009: That's a bit like my first g/f; she was the leader, I was the tagalong. She'd reprimand me on stupid crap and I was a bit irritated by it.
I'd say to talk it over with her, ask her to make some concessions for you, and if she's too stubborn... (read in full...)
I don't want to hurt one girl and the other not talk to me...
Q. Hey, I recently met these two girls Sam and Sky, when we first met I hit it off with Sam really well but now when the 3 of us are together I get mixed signals. One minute Sam is flirting with me and the next day Sky is, I'm 16 and get really ...
A. 14 January 2009: Let my tell you from experience that friendships with multiple girl plus romance with one of them almost always end up in a mess. (picture 3 girls in my scenario, super scary).
I would say ask out Sam, that way you would be sending a message ... (read in full...)
He's back with the ex although he still flirts with me... what do you think? Is there a chance?
Q. This is a bit complicated and hard to explain but I will try. There is this guy I have liked for over a year. He has such a gorgeous smile, big beauitful eyes and he's just pefect in my eyes. He compliments me and makes me feel good about myself. He ...
A. 13 January 2009: I'd wait it out. Bad people usually don't change, so if his ex continues to be a cheater and a loser, he'll break up with her again. But if you notice their relationship to be pretty solid for a while, it'll be hard, but count your losses and ... (read in full...)
How do I get over the nervousness I felt when a guy a liked tried to kiss me?
Q. How do I get over the nervousness I felt when a guy a liked tried to kiss me? I panicked and said no because I was terrified I would do something wrong and make a fool of myself. ...
A. 13 January 2009: It's all right if you tell your guy that you are a bit nervous, he should understand. Remind yourself that your guy is someone you love and trust, and once your lips meet, enjoy that contact and savor it, it is a wonderful feeling. ... (read in full...)
I think I'm unattractive and I lost my boyfriend because I'm insecure!
Q. I am an unattractive girl, who is also very insecure. I just lost my boyfriend to this. He got fed up with the fact that I always felt insecure about better looking girls. He always told me it didn't matter and that he loved me. Yet, he also said ...
A. 13 January 2009: Whoa, whoa! A website told you that you were more masculine looking?
There is A LOT of disinformation of the Internet, don't believe it (e.g. Wikipedia). Have confidence in who you are! Confidence is very attractive. You just have to tell yourself... (read in full...)
Being left behind while everyone my own age is away ahead of me.
Q. Why is life easier for some and harder for others? I get depressed about people my age who have things easy and I don't. People my age have things before me in their 20's and I'm well in my 30's before I get, it really depresses me. They'll ...
A. 13 January 2009: Sometimes I wonder the same thing and I'm only 19. My graduating class is now going through college and I am a dedicated musician. They'll probably be "successful" before me and I'll have to wait for a record deal.
But the key thing is to just ign... (read in full...)
Do good looking people get advantages in life?
Q. does being goodlooking/cute looking have advantagaes in sport,getting job,finding love etc not talking about me just in gerenal.goodlooking people get treated better then plain looking people...
A. 12 January 2009: Yes, there have been scientific studies pertaining to looks which state that good-looking people tend to have a slightly higher self esteem, intelligence, etc..
But that doesn't mean there no hope for anyone not so well-endowed. A person is a per... (read in full...)
Why don't I have ANY close friends?
Q. I dont get it. I mean Im in my second year of college and have absolutely no one I can regularly hang out with. I had a best friend last year but we had a falling out and she moved away. I know this group of girls, nice girls but whenever I go over ...
A. 12 January 2009: Wow, that's a tad similar to my story
In highschool, every guy (and most the girls) would recognize me, say "Hello." but would never care to go any further in friendship. I had a few girls that were my friends, but mostly wanted a b/f, after da... (read in full...)
My current relationship suffers sexually because of my past
Q. I am a young mother I've been in a relationship now for 4 years before this started I was in a different relationship which I was made to do things I didn't want to as in sexually now in this relationship I can't enjoy sex which it upsets my ...
A. 12 January 2009: I would second what satindesire posted as I have had a g/f in about the same situation. Her mental life, sex life was in a thousand different pieces from a previous relationship and seeing a professional for help was the best way to start.
... (read in full...)
Why are men so obsessed with breasts but hardly notice them during sex?
Q. Why are men so obsessed with breasts when during sex, they don't even spend that much time on them. lol Just curious!...
A. 12 January 2009: Many species have some kind of primary attraction unit that first draws us to a potential mate. Breasts probably serve that function (along with other functions). Then as the attraction develops, other things would draw attention instead.
Me pe... (read in full...)
Help, is there more to it or am I making something out of nothing?
Q. I have been with my boyfriend for a year now, and we both love each other a lot. However ever since I started being with him he has been very protective over me. I have a facebook account and added someone I knew from school, he got annoyed ...
A. 12 January 2009: "BF mark crimethink doubleplusungood"
No, I'd say it's your boyfriend who is making "something out of nothing". If he asks you 21 questions about every friend you add on Facebook...you'll be answering for a week.
Have the talk, but don't be pas... (read in full...)
I need help with a letter....
Q. Hi theres this female friend of mine we've been close friends since back in high school about 5 years back we even went to the matric farewell together we always there for each other, we talk about everything we spend too much time together but the ...
A. 12 January 2009: Everyone has their own talents, and yours may not be writing, but I think if you really thought about it and fashioned something yourself, it would be much more genuine and heartfelt than the borrowed words of any other. Write about her greatest ... (read in full...)
What age were you when you lost YOUR virginity? (I was 23)
Q. This is kind of an idle question I suppose. I've noticed and been kind of alarmed by a large number of sex questions being asked by kids in the 13-15 year old age range. (It seems awfully young to me.) I'd like to have kids of my own some day ...
A. 12 January 2009: Nineteen, still have my virginity, waiting for marriage.
From the situations around me that stem from sex, I know enough to stay away from "the great complicator".
... (read in full...)
Does he want me for something more than a hook up?
Q. I have this friend and we used to be really close last year, we would hang out every day for a couple of months. Then, one night we started kissing and he wanted to have sex with me. I told him no because I want to get to know him more and asked if ...
A. 9 January 2009: Are you completely sure you want him as a boyfriend? It sounds like you have sensible standards but had to lower them for him. And after he gets what he wants he stops talking with you?
Also depends if you still have your other bf, cause that cou... (read in full...)
My best friend just called me a dumbass....
Q. What am I doing wrong? My ex thinks im dumb, and my best friend just called me a dumbass.. I am hurt. I don't know what else to do, I don't have many friends and the ones I have got treat me like dirt. It is always like this. I was supposed...
A. 9 January 2009: Often people name-call and and put-down to elevate themselves above others. Hence, friends with a stupid sense of superiority are no friends at all.
You may feel alone for a while, but be inventive, find some places for social interact... (read in full...)
I love and care for him, but is this the real thing, need serious advice?
Q. Apologies for length, would really appreciate help! I have a close friend of 3 years. In the past year we’ve grown a lot closer and I've developed strong feelings for him. I’m unsure if it’s mutual, but suspect it might be. We’re both 24. ...
A. 7 January 2009: I've found that making a list really helps.
Put down some attributes that you want in a guy. Make your standards/preferences high and sensible, but not unrealistic. List his attributes, compare and decide which attributes are more importan... (read in full...)
We broke up, but will we still be good friends?
Q. My girlfriend and I had been dating for almost 4 months and she broke up with me about 2 and a half weeks ago. The reason we broke up is because she wanted to be single, she said I didn't do anything wrong and that she still cares for me and loves ...
A. 7 January 2009: That is hard, dude.
I have also pursued continued friendships after a relationship, one time it didn't work, the other time it did.
And if your girlfriend is your only friend, as was my case before, that is tough as well. But if you have othe... (read in full...)
How to get even with someone who played with your heart- guys perspective
Q. There was this guy who really played me, though i don't think it was his true intention, it happened at work, we were friends and then got too close, he expressed being crazy about me, hung out with me etc... but its crap, cuz it has to be, so now a ...
A. 6 January 2009: Vengeance...
Always a sticky situation.
It would feel really good for sure, but many bullies and fight-pickers expect you to retaliate, to make you look really stupid in the process. I speak from heavy experience.
I'd say ignore the ba... (read in full...)
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