A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:I have been with my boyfriend for a year now, and we both love each other a lot. However ever since I started being with him he has been very protective over me. I have a facebook account and added someone I knew from school, he got annoyed at me and started asking me 21 questions about it, at first I just thought 'oh here we ago again' and just went along with it but then I got angry at him and then he accused me of hiding something. This happens a lot, when I'm out with friends I feel as if he's checking up on me asking me who I'm with and to make sure im safe, which I can understand but it's just annoying when I have to constantly reasure him 'I'm not with anyone I shouldn't be'. Friends tell me I need to have a serious chat with him, but every time I bring it up , he says it's only because he loves me so much and wants to make sure I'm safe and being sensible.Help is there more to it than that.. or am I making something out of nothing?sorry for the long question xx
View related questions:
facebook Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
male
reader, The old Man?  +, writes (31 January 2009):
 I'm one who sees this as a combination of what BRITTBABII2, and Griffo says.
It is often that the one who is doing the accusing, is in fact the one who is hiding something!
If in your shoes, I'd have the talk that Griffo described. By no means, make any mention that he may be "up to something." Then, keep your eyes open to what he may be doing.
Joe~
A
male
reader, lovelynightmare +, writes (12 January 2009):
 "BF mark crimethink doubleplusungood"
No, I'd say it's your boyfriend who is making "something out of nothing". If he asks you 21 questions about every friend you add on Facebook...you'll be answering for a week.
Have the talk, but don't be passive and tell him a controlling relationship cannot continue, he changes or you leave. Life is meant to be enjoyed, and you won't have much enjoyment with his questioning and censure (or something worse if he gets more extreme).
Hope someone catches the 1984 reference ;)
Good luck to you,
lovelynightmare
...............................
A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (12 January 2009): Unfortunately, he's insecure. You have to either accept it or help him deal with it. Explain to him that you're not a possession and enjoy having friends.
...............................
A
male
reader, Griffo  +, writes (11 January 2009):
 Okay, you need to toughen up here: id say "Hey you know your being a bit obsessive, and I don't like it, its pissing me off and I just want you to cool down and take it easy okay?". then rehiterate with him and say: "Everything is ok with us, and you have nothing to worry about, so stop worrying all the time, okay?"
It seems as thought the trust is lacking a little, the above second quote should reassure him things are ok with you guys.
But if your communication towards him has declined drastically from him recently this is likley what is causing him to become so obsessive, because he may be feeling he's losing you. Just reassure him that things are okay, you should be fine. If he keeps doing it just give a couple of warnings.
Be strong, your in control of your own life. :)
...............................
A
female
reader, BRITTBABII2 +, writes (11 January 2009):
That same thing happened to my sister. He always wanted to read her texts and her myspace comments and who was she with and where she is at and she thought oh he's just asking and he said the same thing it's b/c he wants her to be safe.--It ended up bad actually.Only to find out he was the one cheating their whole entire 2 and a half year relationship and he ended up having two other kids by two different women. You need to talk with him seriously and see what's up
...............................
|
