Worried about revealing photo I sent to my friend, I never told my b/f about it
Q. Okay, so to start out... i've been with my boyfriend for 3 years. last year, i sent a revealing photo to one of our friends. the picture was really dark and you couldn't really see anything.. thank god. after i sent it i felt extremely bad and i ...
A. 5 January 2012: That depends. Would you be upset if he sent a revealing picture to a friend of his who just so happened to be a girl? My guess is you would. I don't understand why people don't use that reasoning to make decisions while in a relationship.
You d... (read in full...)
I think about my ex even when I am with my new girlfriend
Q. i have been dating my new girlfriend for a few months now and i recently started thinking about my ex a lot and she called me the other night to talk. it was a light conversation between old friends more than anything else and she mentioned how she ...
A. 4 January 2012: Well, if you feel like you would be having a better time with your ex, and that she's a better gf & person, why are you still with your gf? I know you can't help what you feel, but if you're feeling that strongly about it, continuing to date her is ... (read in full...)
Is she looking for 'fun' with me? If I allowed this to happen, would I be a bad person?
Q. Hello everyone. I am a reader and occasional writer of dearcupid and I just love this blog. I am here with an issue today. I apologize in advance for the length of it. I came to USA in Feb 2011. When I came here, my ex of 4 years from my home cou...
A. 4 January 2012: If she was just looking to have some "fun" with you, I doubt she'd go to the extent she has gone with the texts, and the surprises, and wishing you a Happy New Year, etc. I think it's safe to say she likes you and is probably interested in a ... (read in full...)
I know he comes home to me but why does he have to be so close to these other women?
Q. Hello I would just like some advice on how to handle my situation and If I am being too jealous? I was dating a guy a while back which didn't work out as he had only been single for about 3 weeks and didn't want to jump back into a relation...
A. 4 January 2012: I'm a girl with a lot of guy friends, and I can tell you that none of them have put a lot of kisses at the end of any message to me, let alone every one. You said yourself he has hidden the fact that he sees her when he's out from you.
Unles... (read in full...)
How involved should I be with my niece's choices?
Q. My Niece is 14 and she has changed dramatically in her teenage years from the very considerate and empathetic girl she once was, to a looks obsessed, withdrawn and troubled teen. Her parents are now divorced and I suspect her Mum to be in part ...
A. 4 January 2012: It's a sticky situation, and talking to her could lead to some pretty bad family fallout if she takes what you say the wrong way and complains to her parents.
However... She is your niece. You are part of her family, and you obviously care eno... (read in full...)
Are we ready for a threesome?
Q. Hi! Want to know if you think we are ready for a threesome. We have been married for 6 years and have children. We both come from a conservative Middle Eastern background, we are not fully liberal but both are relatively open minded. W...
A. 4 January 2012: I think feeling ready to have a threesome, and actually having one, are two very, VERY different things. For one, your wife saying she's just doing it to please you is something you should think about a little more. Have you factored in the ... (read in full...)
My Bf and I have been together 4 years. We have a child. But how can I also continue with the marine I am seeing too, and not breakup with my Bf?
Q. Ive been with my boyfriend for almost four years and also I met a guy and I've been seeing him for about six months. I see the other guy twice a month, every time he comes to home, because his a marine .i really like him i feel he is the one, but ...
A. 4 January 2012: You have been in a committed relationship for 4 years, during which you had a child with that person. You're seeing someone on the side, and you want to know how you can successfully continue seeing them both? You can't, and why would you want t... (read in full...)
Please help an inexperienced married man understand sex and relationships
Q. I was an 18 year old virgin when I met my wife. I had never had a girlfriend or even kissed another girl until one night after a date she just leaned over and kissed me. I waited some months before sleeping with her at age 19. She was 21 and expe...
A. 2 January 2012: 1. It's normal to be curious, as you've only slept with one person. I'd find it strange if you weren't curious. I can only answer for myself, but no, it doesn't make me feel cheap to know I have slept with lots of other people. It's not really ... (read in full...)
Pregnant to my married ex lover!
Q. Hi I had been having an affair with a married man for nearly two years when it came to an abrupt end 6 weeks ago when his wife caught him on the phone to me. We have not spoken since however we did work at the same company and he got me dismissed...
A. 2 January 2012: Get a court-ordered DNA test, and then nail him with child support. That's really your only option at this point. Yes, as the man who got you pregnant he should step up, so in that sense I understand the anger. He's clearly done with you, and tr... (read in full...)
How can I save our marriage?
Q. What do you think how common mid-life crises is? Are there many marriage brakes down from the husband's mid-life crises? And what do you think, what are the sign's of that? I see several of my friends, that their husband is leaving with a young ...
A. 2 January 2012: I'd try to talk to him, first. See if you can get him to open up on his own about what's going on in his head. If that doesn't work, try therapy. You both owe it to yourselves, and to your 24 year long marriage to try and make it work before you ... (read in full...)
B/f in a coma because he tried to save my life
Q. I was on a double date with my best friend, so all together there was me and my boyfriend, and my best friend and his girlfriend. We were walking back home when suddenly a car came speeding past us (turns out it was a drunk driver). I proba...
A. 2 January 2012: I imagine the feelings of guilt you are feeling are completely normal, but you definitely should NOT feel guilty. Instead, you should feel lucky that he not only saved your life, but that you have someone like him in yours. I am so sorry that this ... (read in full...)
My B/f was chatting with another girl, about cuddling and licking chocolate off her breasts!! How do I confront him?
Q. He left himself logged in and curiosity got the better of me. I recognize the girl he spoke to and i think he's been with her in the past before me. Him: Hey 3 Her: Hey Him: How are you baby? Her: Good thanks, yourself? Him: Goo...
A. 2 January 2012: If he isn't, he wants to. That right there is MORE than enough. Get the hell out of that relationship, stat.... (read in full...)
How can I stop myself falling for someone so easily?
Q. I guess a good place to start is with my question.. How can I stop myself falling for someone so easily? I'm a 20 year old guy I actually think I'm a decent looking guy and Im happy about the way I look but whenever I get into a relations...
A. 2 January 2012: I am going to be as honest as I can with you, and I'm sure you'll take more than most of it the wrong way, but keep in mind I'm genuinely trying to offer you good advice that I hope you use to better yourself first, and then your future ... (read in full...)
Breaking up with someone you love, but cannot be with. How did you cope?
Q. I need some help trying to understand my feelings... I went travelling alone for 3 months leaving my boyfriend behind. I have always wanted to travel and it was a now or never decision. We talked about it and he was happy for me to go. We had been ...
A. 2 January 2012: You two will find your way back together if the feelings you both have for each other remain strong. However, it's also normal after a breakup to not only question the decision, but panic and believe you made the wrong one. He was someone you were ... (read in full...)
Is he letting his friends make all the decisions or is he only using them as a cover up for his own indifference?
Q. Hi guys. I'm not sure how to feel about this. I have an ex, we broke up just a few months ago. While we were together he talked about moving with his friends no another city. This came as a shock as he hadn't mentioned anything about it to me. He ...
A. 2 January 2012: There are a lot of things you should let get to you. This is not even remotely close to one of them. You were with someone who didn't care about you, and didn't respect you. Luckily, you no longer are, and are infinitely better off. Instead of ... (read in full...)
I'm not sure how to end this FWB relationship?
Q. Okay so since about my sophomore year I guess you could call me and this guy "friends with benefits". Everyone knew that we always had a thing even though we would date other people and stuff..he would always cheat on his gf with me which I known is ...
A. 1 January 2012: If you want it to end, just don't have sex with him. This isn't a situation where you need to break up, or have a serious talk. If he wanted more from you than sex, you'd know. If you wanted a relationship with him, you'd know. You seem pretty ... (read in full...)
I found out b/f has been talking to his ex saying sweet things and now I don't know if I can trust him
Q. DEAR CUPID!! I've been with my boyfriend for 2 years now. The other day I was on the computer and I saw he left his FB open, I wanted to be nosey and checked it out. I came across these message he was writing to an ex talking about how he wil...
A. 1 January 2012: I am a firm believer in working through issues in a relationship, and making a breakup the dead last option, but this isn't a situation where I'd give a guy a pass. Telling another woman that you're just someone he passes the time with shows his ... (read in full...)
Sex the first time really hurt for me!
Q. Me and my boyfriend have been going out for 3 years (we're both 16 now) and after a party last weekend things got really hot.... he started playing with me and I played with him, it's not rare but then we started penetration and we're both virgins ...
A. 11 November 2008: Yes, it's normal!
It hurt like crazy my first time, and the few times afterwards. You need time to get used to it, but once you are, it's quite fun =)
Just keep plugging away, and the pain will be gone soon enough.
Kudos on the protecti... (read in full...)
He wants to meet for sex, but I want a relationship.
Q. I have a problem. You see there is this guy who i have known for years. We were very close in school. But when I went off to college, we kind of grew apart, We didn't speak as much or see each other. I've always had a thing for him. Recently we ...
A. 11 November 2008: Tell him you're not interested in something purely sexual, and that you'd like something more from him. Being up front with him will avoid confusion, and if he doesn't want more, you're free to find someone who does.... (read in full...)
I found out my boyfriend send a video of him jerking off to his ex!
Q. So last week my boyfriend and I were sitting on the couch and he had his laptop. He signed into his email and plainly let me see his password. To tonight I decide to be nosey and just look in his email. I'm really paranoid about the things his ex ...
A. 11 November 2008: Dump him. If you let things slide, he's going to think he can get away with anything and you'll continue to be his doormat.
Stick up for yourself, and find someone that will treat you with the respect you deserve.... (read in full...)
Blood in my discharge...am I pregnant?
Q. hi im 18 and about 2 mnths ago i had unprotected sex with my boyfriend i lost my virginty to him and now im experiencing back problems, my period was a day or late and i'v had blood in my discharge.. could i be pregnant please help?...
A. 11 November 2008: It's possible, but it could also be a symptom of more serious health problems. Ask your doctor, they'll be able to tell you more than any of us will. ... (read in full...)
Do I tell my parents that my sister was smoking
Q. I caught my sister (she's 12 and I'm 15) smoking with her friends (they were smoking too). My sister begged me not to anyone. My parents would kill her if they knew and me for not telling them first. I'm going feel bad if she gets heart cancer or ...
A. 10 November 2008: Yes.
I wish every day that I could turn back time and not smoke that first cigarette... but I can't. You have the opportunity to stop her while she's still in the process of starting.. and that's something she'll thank you for later, believe ... (read in full...)
I had a miscarriage and my boyfriend is devestated. How can I make it up to him?
Q. I really love my boy-friend, and this situation is killing me. I've been with my boyfriend for about a year. One night, about a month ago, it was our eleven month anniversary, we ended up getting really drunk, and did the nasty =]. When this ...
A. 10 November 2008: You don't owe him a thing!
Instead of helping you cope, he added to the stress by threatening to leave you at a time when you're the most vulnerable. No one should pressure you into making that decision, especially not him!
If anything, he nee... (read in full...)
Advice on shaving please
Q. Heya I was wondering how to shave down there..as in which way because I do but it leaves black dots where the hairs are and you can still see them. Also if I shave upwards I cut myself slightly where the hairs are having little red dots of bloo...
A. 30 May 2008: For me, it's a bit of shaving in every direction. Everyone will be different of course, and it takes time to learn how to do it properly on yourself. My advice to avoid these black dots and maybe some of the cuts is to go a bit gentler, and ... (read in full...)
What can I do to make him trust me again?
Q. My partner and I are going through some tough things. We've been dating since Sept 2006 and I did wrong to him. I always said I would never cheat on him n I did. I kissed his best friend and talked to another guy behind his back. We weren't a couple ...
A. 30 May 2008: Let him go for now. Maybe that seems a little counter-productive at this point, but trying to convince him you're sorry and haven't done quite what he thinks you have at this point would probably cause more damage than good. Point is, he doesn't ... (read in full...)
Why don't I feel like having sex more often?
Q. I simply dont feel like having sex very often, maybe twice a month. My partner is a wonderful man and he means the world to me. It makes me feel bad that I'm not in the mood more. I've had the same problem with previous boyfriends. I know this cant ...
A. 30 May 2008: I've had this problem a couple times before as well, and like lotus mama808, I just kept trucking and found that I started to enjoy it again. Sex tends to get, not boring, but repetitive in a lot of relationships. You find things that each other ... (read in full...)
How long should I wait before I throw in the towel and just realize he's just jerking me around?
Q. Recently my boyfriend broke up with me, and I feel torn apart. I can't seem to grasp my mind around the fact that we are not together. I need help moving on, finding my footing again, and regaining the desire to leave my house. Perhaps provid...
A. 30 May 2008: You need to let go. Easier said than done, I know, but you need to try your hardest to do that. Long distance relationships rarely work out, and trying to squeeze into the small percentage of couples that make it, is, almost pointless I'm afraid to ... (read in full...)
Is getting really wet bad/nasty?
Q. i am wondering.. is getting really wet bad/nasty?? like i mean really. i haven't been horny lately but i guess i was and this boy fingered me and he was like my fingers are so wet while he was doing it.. so is that a bad thing?? im really ...
A. 30 May 2008: No, it's not a bad thing. I'm sure he was pretty proud of himself at that moment lol, and was maybe trying to point it out? Definitely not something to be embarrassed about!! It happens naturally, the levels differ between people but you generally ... (read in full...)
He's too attached to his ex, should I break up with him over it?
Q. Hi, Just need some advice on what to do. I've had been in a long distance relationship for about four years. The problem is that my bf had never stopped talking with his ex nor had he talk her that he is in a relationship with me. They are not ...
A. 26 May 2008: He IS still attached to his ex, it's obvious, and you know it. Unless you feel up to playing second fiddle to this guy, you should definitely leave. Why stay with someone who doesn't show you the respect you deserve, when you could find someone who ... (read in full...)
Why cant I trust the women I love? Does every man go through this?
Q. I have a problem , I cant seem to get this feeling of doubt out of my head with the women I love. I feel one day that she will never part with me, and the next just by a change of tone in her voice sends me thinking I have to look for some one new? ...
A. 14 May 2008: You're insecure, and it happens to the best of us! I was the same way in the past, and honestly, it helps to have a loving person in your life who will understand your insecurities and not hold them against you, and help you feel more secure with ... (read in full...)
Should I get involved with him?
Q. kay so this boy has just recently started talking to me. he seems really cool and stuff and i'm really starting to like him. yesterday, he kinda asked me out and i said yes and then he kissed me. i guess we go out now but i'm not really sure. he ...
A. 14 May 2008: I think right now, you should disregard what you're hearing and give him a shot. What they're saying could be true, of course, but I think you should give him a chance to explain what has happened, if anything bad has happened. I'm sure everyone has ... (read in full...)
I want my boyfriend to hug me, hold hands with me, kiss me...how do I get my point across?
Q. Okay I really like my boyfriend I mean mabye even love him and I really want us to hug, hold hands, him put his arm around me, and kiss ya know stuff like that. But the problem is i dont know how to get the piont across to him and he is not the type ...
A. 30 April 2008: Honestly, I think the best thing for you to do in this situation is to make the first move instead of waiting for him. I don't see how you could get your point across more strongly than that.... (read in full...)
Worried about the pain of deflowering, am I ready to take this step?
Q. Ok, so i'm 16 and i'm just about ready to sleep with my bf. i've already seen his 'package' and he is really big (around 9 inches) and i'm scared that when we sleep together it'll hurt really badly! what do you think? ...
A. 25 April 2008: I wont lie, it does hurt...and does for most girls whose hymen is still intact and holding strong (and some whose aren't)! lol. But like other posters said, foreplay and relaxation play a big part in diminishing the worst of the pain, and allowing ... (read in full...)
Are we ready to lose our virginity?
Q. Well me and my b/f are always conversing. Right...we've had so much together and were thinking about losing both of our virginty together. I really think i love him to go all the way with him. He always tells me he's not going to rush me into doing ...
A. 25 April 2008: I lost my virginity early in my life, like you are considering, and have never regretted it. Thing is, I've never thought of sex as something to wait until marriage for, or as something to consider a "big deal." And while I'm definitely not saying ... (read in full...)
I've cheated on him, but how can I prove to him that I really want him?
Q. How can I prove to my boyfriend of 1 year and 5 months that i really want to be with him if I have cheated and lied to him?...
A. 25 April 2008: By not cheating on him, and not lying to him.... (read in full...)
His run up our bill from sex text lines, but it's never his fault! Is it the end of the road for us?
Q. my fella and i have been together for 6 years, married for 3. during that time, he has run up huge phone bills to sex txt lines, had txt sex with women that he has met in his working day, had pics of a close family member on his phone and pics of ...
A. 25 April 2008: I think it may be nearing the end of the road for you two. He's blatantly doing these things in front of you, and behind your back. I'd bring up something about respect, but he obviously has none for you, and a minimal amount for himself. If he ... (read in full...)
How do I cope with husband's crush on his pictures of a model?
Q. My husband and I have been together 11 years. We are young "under 30" and he hides the fact that he looks at porn. He doesnt watch porn and wont watch a porn with me but goes behind my back and looks up this one specific model with big breasts ...
A. 25 April 2008: Porn in a relationship is always iffy, and people always feel differently. I however am like you, and would feel exactly as you do right now. I think you should talk to him about this, and tell him exactly how you're feeling. It's awful to feel like ... (read in full...)
He asked for my number in case he came up with an idea for our assignment...or was it something else?
Q. I really like this guy who I have a class with at university. Hes always voltunteering to help me with work and asked me if I wanted to work on an assignment with him. We exchanged email addresses so we could keep in contact. Then the other day we ...
A. 25 April 2008: He likes you. He already had your email, if he wasn't interested in more he'd have no reason to ask for your number.... (read in full...)
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