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... Send *uman_male a private message | | | *uman_male's profile:Forty three years old. Single. Living in Auckland, NZ. A few personal problems of my own, like anxiety and depression, and more than my share of lonliness. I've never had a girlfriend and I don't believe I ever will... women just don't see me in that sort of way. That's all there is to it.
It's hard, but I feel better if I can help others. And who knows, maybe my situation gives me a perspective that allows me to help others and give good advice.
I know what sort of man I want to be, and I draw confidence and self worth from being that. So being a good person and helping others is as much about helping myself as it is them.
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All my friends are now in relationships. What's the answer for me? I'm consumed with jealously and weekends are the worst for me now.
Q. Hi aunts and uncles. Please can I have some advice as do what I should and how I can meet someone and stop feeling like this. Basically keep it short. I'm 32, female and single and I can't seem to meet anyone. I'm attractive, I have an ok...
A. 15 October 2012: Perhaps you need to be more proactive. Ok you've signed up to a few dating sites but do you send out any emails? And in real life, do you make any effort to meet and get to know people? Take the examples of your friends and the guys they met at w... (read in full...)
Can I forgive my girlfriend for not supporting me when I was at the lowest point in my life?
Q. I was bereaved 15 weeks ago. My son died in a fatal car crash. My girlfriend and i had a petty row and she walked out on me. I asked her not to go because i had shouted at her. I was bang out of order. My emotions were all over and i was dreading my ...
A. 14 October 2012: It doesn't sound like she was supportive at all, no. I would suggest listening to your feelings about whether or not you want her back in your life, but if you do go slowly. I think it's great that you've been socialising with friends, so cont... (read in full...)
Still a virgin. Is this normal? It’s not sex that I’m looking for, just some companionship
Q. Hey guys, I have a question regarding virginity. I know is a question that’s probably asked a lot, but I wanna know if what I’m feeling is stupid or normal. I’ve just turned 20 and I’m still a virgin. I’ve never been kissed, never had any interest...
A. 14 October 2012: Yes it's really normal. Don't believe half the stuff your friends say, and don't feel bad about where you are at right now. You're still young. There's nothing wrong with not having any experience at that age. I'm not quite sure what you should... (read in full...)
I cant stand the fact that girls are always flirting with my attractive boyfriend
Q. Hey guys , I'm having major jealously issues. Not to brag but my boyfriend is really attractive so there is always girls after him flirting with him and such. I find it hard to deal with, he is totally oblivious to the fact. He says their all just ...
A. 14 October 2012: What do you want him to do exactly? Do you want him to stop seeing his female friends? Is that fair, just because you're insecure? And will that even help? Even if he does stop socialising with girls, and cuts off all contact with other females, ... (read in full...)
Are my fantasies bordering on mental illness?
Q. I'm kind of worried I've warped my mind through excessive pornography use over the last few years, and through meeting some people in the sex industry, and I'm looking for some advice on what to do next, as my eyes are opening to the extent of the ...
A. 13 October 2012: Hi. I sympathise with what you're going through, but try not to feel too down or overwhelmed. I agree with shrodingerscat about fetishes and kinks. A lot of healthy, normal people have kinks, cuckolding, humiliation ect is a common one. It's not ... (read in full...)
Bi-curious, but I don't want my first experience to be with a guy
Q. hey, this is my first question on here and i heard a friend talking about it and i have a genuine problem. so im just gonna jump into my situation. ok so, i am very bi curious. for the last year or so ive been really tempted to do something with a...
A. 12 October 2012: I'd say if you're not sure just hold off for now. You've got plenty of time to explore that. If you'd rather concentrate on girls now then do so. There's no rush.... (read in full...)
He's too "nice" for me and it's a turn off.
Q. I have been seeing this really nice guy for the past 4 months. His "niceness" is starting to bother me, in that I find him to be not as masculine as I'd like him to be. He is the type who always has a smile on his face, who is always polite, ...
A. 9 October 2012: Sounds like you want the best of both worlds, which might be asking too much. It's having your cake and eating it. But if he turns you off then he turns you off. You should end it with him so he can find a woman who appreciates him. Then you can go ... (read in full...)
Should I be worried about the attention my very popular boyfriend receives from girls?
Q. Me and my b/f are both 17 we have dated for 4 months now. so here is my problem My b/f is a popular football player at my school and all the girls are all over him (and I mean all over him). I was not popular till we stared going out. So anywa...
A. 8 October 2012: There's no way of knowing, we can't know his character from your post. He certainly has the opportunity but that doesn't make him more likely to cheat. Unfortunately this is something you should have expected and something you're just going to have... (read in full...)
I need advice about a crush on a teacher.
Q. I have a massive crush on my teacher and recently I have found myself completely enamored with her armpits. Whenever she raises her arms I can't help but stare at her underarms, and every single lesson, I get an erection. I also get turned on by the ...
A. 5 October 2012: When you find yourself looking at her and fantasising about her make a conscious effort not to. Don't endulge your crush and it will pass more quickly.
It'll pass eventually, you just have to ride it out.... (read in full...)
Wife touched friend inappropriately while drunk. Should I be upset?
Q. Should I be concerned? Two weeks ago we were at a friends house. My wife had been out boating and drinking during the day while I was working. That evening we went to our friend's house and joined 3 other couples for evening cocktails by...
A. 5 October 2012: I like how she's put this on you and made it out to be your fault. I'd be really concerned if I were you, not just by her actions but by her attitude. Did she even say she was sorry for hurting you?
Go to counselling. At the very least it may help... (read in full...)
I'm shy so how do I go up and start talking to a guy?
Q. So I started college 4 weeks ago and I keep seeing this guy that's really attractive, i'm too shy to go up to him and i wouldn't know what to say anyway. How would I get talking to him? ...
A. 5 October 2012: I think aunt_honesty's advice is valid, but if he's really attractive he's probably not going to notice one more girl smiling at him in the hallway.
If you want to make an impact try finding out what sort of things he's into, if he's in any kind... (read in full...)
I'm not attracted to my boyfriend's lack of motivation
Q. I just graduated college with my bachelor's degree. I've been dating my boyfriend for 2.5 years. My boyfriend will be done with his bachelor's degree in December. We've had many conversations about the future, from where we wish to live to if we ...
A. 30 September 2012: He can't be that unmotivated if he's doing a bachelor's degree. It's not unusual for a young person to not know what they want in life or where they're going.
It's very common for women to like a guy to know what he wants and where he's going, b... (read in full...)
In a FWB relationship should I be angry that he stood me up?
Q. I have been seeing a guy for quite a short time. It started out as a one night stand but we have been seeing each others again after that. It is clear it is nothing else than for sex, which is fine with me since I am recently single and not really ...
A. 30 September 2012: Just because you're not in a relationship doesn't mean there shouldn't be respect and consideration, so you have every right to not be happy about it. If you've told him you don't appreciate being stood up and he hasn't bothered to give you a proper ... (read in full...)
Is there any hope for love without a better job?
Q. Despite being a decent and honest man I've been single for my entire life. I've really struggled in life with depression and a lack of confidence and direction and knowing what I want out of life. I've only ever had menial jobs, or have been out of ...
A. 9 September 2012: Thanks very much for all the comments and advice. It's given me a lot to think about. I have been on a journey of self help and improvement over the last couple of years, with therepy, getting out more and facing my social anxiety as well (I'm doing ... (read in full...)
Am I a racist for not liking a black guy?
Q. I’m a young gay man and I feel like I’m a bad person. I’m receiving a lot of attention from a black guy (I'm white myself). He’s being really nice, giving me small gifts and everything, asking me to go out with him. We’ve talked many times, he’s a ...
A. 7 September 2012: I don't think you're a racist. You're not talking about not hiring him for a job, or spending time with him as a friend just because he's black. You're talking about having a sexual relationship with him, and in that area we're just wired to like ... (read in full...)
I can't afford to pay every time we go out. What's the best way to let her know?
Q. Hi. So I asked someone out and we had dinner and I payed, which I was happy to do. I've asked her out again for a coffee and she said yes. The thing is I just can't afford to pay for her every time we go out. I don't know if she'll be expecting me ...
A. 2 August 2012: Turns out it didn't matter in the end, she cancelled at the last minute and I haven't heard from her since.... (read in full...)
I can't afford to pay every time we go out. What's the best way to let her know?
Q. Hi. So I asked someone out and we had dinner and I payed, which I was happy to do. I've asked her out again for a coffee and she said yes. The thing is I just can't afford to pay for her every time we go out. I don't know if she'll be expecting me ...
A. 28 July 2012: I'm over thinking it, I always do that. I'll try to relax a bit. I don't mind paying for coffee, I was just worried I'd get into the situation where she expects me to pay every time. And some have you have said no she won't do that, and some have ... (read in full...)
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