She said that we're soulmates, but she couldn't be with me if I couldn't give her a baby...
Q. Hi there, my gf has left me 3 weeks ago. It's a bit complicated, but basically she has mild depression and thinks very lowly of herself. I love her to bits. The problem being she wants a child and I can't give her one. I am 39 she is 33. She said...
A. 6 July 2005: I'm sorry to hear that you are feeling so bad, and that you care so much about your girlfriend.
I don't think that the urge for a baby will die down. I think you need to decide wether you want a child in your life, because there is more than one... (read in full...)
Not interested in sex with my cousin any more. It makes me sick, but how do I stop?
Q. Hi, I have been living with my cousin's family for 3 years. She is older than me. I've been having sex with her for past 2 years. Although I kind of like her but don't know, it feels sick after every time we have sex. I know I want to get out of th...
A. 6 July 2005: If you feel sick then why are you doing it? If she is forcing you, you need to seek out some help. you do not say how old you are but no-one should be forced into sex.
... (read in full...)
My neighbour borrows money and doesn't return it...
Q. My neighbour always borrows my money and he never returns to me. If I say something bad to him, I will lose my neighbour's friendship. I have known him for about 4 years. He never borrows me since his wife died. I know that money is important to him ...
A. 6 July 2005: You need to be clear to him that you need your money. In the meantime do not give him any more! If he makes an issue of this he cannot be a true friend.... (read in full...)
When is a good time to discuss the "having kids" issue?
Q. I have started dating a guy about two months ago and we are quickly becoming coming very close. I have never met someone that I clkick with so well. We have more in common than any other person I have ever dated. We are both recovering alcoholics ...
A. 6 July 2005: I think that you need to have this conversation sooner than later. You are both vulnerable and need to know where you stand. He could have been sounding you out too, or he could have meant he was releived about having to be a father to her kids, ... (read in full...)
My husband came back after moving out, but he hasn't given up his girl-on-the-side!
Q. My husband told me three months ago that he no longer loved me, although he still cared for me. He also told me he had started a relationship with a work colleague whom he left to live with a fortnight later. After two days he realised that he ...
A. 6 July 2005: Your husband needs some boundaries. If he is in your home, you are the only woman he has a relationship with. These are the rules. If he can't respect that then you need to show him the door.... (read in full...)
No longer attracted to my wife. Not sure about moving in with the other woman. Help!
Q. Very Confused. I have been married for 5 1/2 years and have also been seeing another woman whom I fell in love with. I have sex with her, but not with my wife. My wife is a wonderful caring person. She gained weight and I no longer find her ...
A. 6 July 2005: You must have been dealing with these cultural differences the whole time you were married and dating, so why are they a problem now? I suspect that you are looking for ways to justify your affair. Respect your wife and lose the mistress. Tell her ... (read in full...)
My new friend at university went from kind to cold. What happened?
Q. Today is the first day in University, I can't get along with others. I'm so worried about that but good luck to me I have one new friend. She is friendly and very kind with everyone. After couple days, She has many friends everyone want to be her ...
A. 6 July 2005: University is the best place to make friends. When i went i spent the first week trying desperatley to make friends, then the next three years avoiding the people i clung so desperatley to in those first few days.
Go to your lectures, find lik... (read in full...)
Time to break up with my married guy. Can we stay friends?
Q. I am in love with a married man. I have been seeing him for 3 years. It seem like I make all the effort. How can I tell him I can't do this anymore and still be friends?...
A. 6 July 2005: I don't think being friends is possible. Boundaries have already been blurred by the fact that he is married, do you really think that you will both respect the boundaries of friendship?
This man has been stringing you along for three years an... (read in full...)
He read my email without even consulting me! I've got nothing to hide, but don't I deserve my privacy?
Q. The other day, I was writing an e-mail to my girlfriend. She had told me some very personal information and I was replying to some concerns she had about her upcoming divorce. When I left the computer to answer the phone, my boyfriend had came to my ...
A. 6 July 2005: Well, you weren't hiding anything about you from him, but i think your friend has a right to privacy.
To be honest, I would have had a sneaky look too, but i would have had the decency to be sheepish when caught!
Explain that you were not hid... (read in full...)
Why is it so hard to deal with my partner's 10-year-old-son?
Q. How can I deal with my partner's child? I'm really struggling to cope with my partner's 10 year old son and I don't know why. This girl is the girl of my dreams; I've been attrached to her ever since we were at school and was so happy when we go...
A. 6 July 2005: This woman's son is part of the package. You are the adult. Grow up and accept that this child will be jealous of you, you are taking their mum away.
Could it be that you are a bit jealous of her son? He will always be her priority and is her p... (read in full...)
A sexual assault has left me feeling dirty and horrible...
Q. I was raped and contracted herpes. It only came up once but now I am paranoid and scared that I will pass it to my husband and children. My husband knows about it but now I just feel dirty and horrible. He claims that he still loves me and still fi...
A. 6 July 2005: You have been through a terrible ordeal. Someone has violated you in the worst way possible and along with the mental after affects, which are crippling enough on their own, he has left you with a physical one.
Your flare ups of herpes can be t... (read in full...)
My ex is seeing a friend and I feel stupid for not realising it was going on...
Q. A few days ago I discovered that my ex is seeing a friend of his, I have always been jealous of this friendship, and always felt slightly inadequate to her. We were together for nearly 3 years and was deeply in love with him. Now I feel sick that he ...
A. 6 July 2005: You don't know whether they felt this way about each other all of the time. It could be that this girl spotted him vulnerable after your break up and decided to make her move. He could be even trying to make you jealous.
The best thing you can ... (read in full...)
What can I do to get my friend to forgive me?
Q. I argued with my best friend. I tried to call to say sorry but he always rejects my call.What should I do?...
A. 6 July 2005: Give them time to cool off, then write a letter allowing them to make the next move when they are ready. you don't say what the argument was about, so i can't be any more specific. Respect their feelings and give them the time to forgive you.... (read in full...)
Now that my g/f is ready for sex, I can hardly keep up! How can I make it better for her?
Q. My girlfriend and me have been dating for almost 2 years, and we just really got into sex recently, we didn't do anything for over a year, I didn't pressure her because I really like her and all of a sudden she just came around and I can hardly keep ...
A. 6 July 2005: It's nice to see a man so happy to please his girlfriend!
women don't always want you to last a long time, especially if an orgasm is just not happening. To be frank it can get sore and boring! sometimes quickies are the best.
Sex does not ... (read in full...)
Our good relationship is being spoiled by my eldest child!
Q. I have 2 children and I am divorced. I am in a relationship with a man and my eldest child has created so much trouble that he has decided to end it. Is there any advice on how I can try and save us? We are deeply in love but it's my child who is c...
A. 6 July 2005: It is always a difficult situation when mum finds a new boyfriend. Your child has already lost a parent at home and does not want to lose or share you. Explain to your child if they are old enough to understand, that mums need friends too, this ... (read in full...)
I proposed then self destructed that very night!
Q.
dear cupids arrow, I have to admit ive never been one to commit myself to any one person even though the idea of a monogamous relationship is really what ive craved for a long time. The problem is that just when I decide to commit myself to a ...
A. 4 July 2005: I wonder if you really do feel guilty about this or you just want to tell everyone about the hot sex you had. You seem to crave comittment but i feel that you are not ready for it. Theres nothing to say you have to settlle down now.... (read in full...)
Does anyone else feel like this..?
Q. Sometimes I feel like everyone hates me and that I'm no use and don't have much of a future because I'm not worth anything better. Does everyone feel like this from time to time?...
A. 4 July 2005: depressed people feel like you do. Please stop being so hard on yourself and allow the people around you and your doctor to help.... (read in full...)
Since our baby was born, we seemingly argue over nothing! Is it going to split us up?
Q. Myself and my boyfriend had a baby 10 months ago. I work and my boyfriend minds the baby at home. In the past 4 months we have had daily arguments, sometimes hourly, over not really anything at all, but it is really getting us down. We cant sit and ...
A. 4 July 2005: Having a baby will change any relationship. your commitment and priorities are stretched to the limit at the time you are getting no sleep.
I agree with becky05, he may be feeling some resentment at taking the traditional mother's role, but are ... (read in full...)
Could my girlfriends be right about this guy's shady background, or am I worrying too much?
Q. I have met a man on the internet about 4 months ago and see him about every two weeks as he goes on a lot of fishing trips and lives in a houseboat in Teddington. My concern is I do like him but am worried about his past although of course w...
A. 4 July 2005: Canals, Amsterdam, lots of money, drugs? I think you already know the truth. You know nothing about this man and all the signs are bad. There is not that much money in a small fishing business. Although many people meet genuine people on the ... (read in full...)
His insensitivity about my feelings is ruining the great relationship we had!
Q. I'm wanting a bit of advice from other readers please ;0) I have a happy relationship with a wonderful man, we have 2 children together and I thought I had everything in the world. My partner moved 200 miles to live with me and since he moved he...
A. 4 July 2005: You start out by saying that you have a happy relationship with a wonderful man, and then you tell us this! It is not a happy relationship and he is not a wonderful man. It may have happy moments but it seems that he fundamentally disrespects ... (read in full...)
I want to break up with my boyfriend, but I just keep going back to him!
Q. Hi, Im 16 years old, and Im with my boyfriend of 10 months. I'll admit our relationships has had its up's and downs, but he can be a really nice guy, and he has always been there for me. See I havent had the best of luck in life, my parents used to ...
A. 4 July 2005: I think you cling to your boyfriend because he gives you security. i know he cheated on you, but he isnt dying and he dosent abuse you. I sense from your letter that your self esteem is very low and deep down you expect those you love to let you ... (read in full...)
I see beautiful young women everywhere, but all I'm attracted to are the older ones...
Q. This may be a stupid question but all my friends are giving me crap for dating women way outside my age. I'm 23 and most women I date are between 35 to 42. My current love interest is 40 and I don't understand why I'm not attracted to women my own ...
A. 4 July 2005: You are attracted to maturity, experience and the whole person. Sounds like you are about 15 years ahead of your friends in the maturity stakes!
I don't see anything wrong with dating older people, but don't pigeonhole yourself. Be aware th... (read in full...)
My crush is in his 20s and I'm 15. I know he's too old for me, but what do I do?
Q. I have a huge crush on this guy. The only problem is that he is way too old. I am only 15 and he is like in his 20s but I always want to see him. What should I do?...
A. 4 July 2005: You are too young for this man. it would be a crime for him to have a relationship with you. It may feel like your heart might break but it won't. I'm sure that you don't want to get this man into trouble. Spend time with friends your own age and ... (read in full...)
I found a text message on my fiance's phone that I can't explain...
Q. My problem is this, my fiance is absolutely lovely, but just lately he has been a little crusty and rather too keen to pick holes in whatever I do. It could be the heat, it has been a very hot week here in the U.K, it could be that he's feeling ...
A. 3 July 2005: This could be innocent, it could even be that he is arranging a surprise for your wedding. The only way is to ask. ... (read in full...)
There's nothing between us any more. Should I carry on for the sake of our child?
Q. Hi I'm desperately unhappy. My partner is five months pregnant .. we do not get on ... no love, no care, no kindness... and we are about to move into a house togther. Should I go through with it for the sake or our baby or end it now please ? ...
A. 3 July 2005: I can honestly say that i have two happy divorced parents that were deeply unhappy together. If you are sure there is nothing left to salvage then break it off, but don't forget your responsibilities to your child.
If you moved in for the sake... (read in full...)
From what I saw on her phone, my mum's having an affair. What should I do?
Q. I heard my mum's phone go off the other day and she asked me to check it so I did and found texts from a work colleague. Based on what they were saying, I think I can safely assume they're having an affair - whether they are actually doing stuff or ...
A. 3 July 2005: Confronting your mother is the only thing to do. The texts could be flirting, fantasy or even harrasment. It is not until you ask her what they area about that you can act upon it... (read in full...)
My husband's ex-wife is making me miserable with her crude ways!
Q. How can I get my husband's ex wife to stop butting in to our life? All of the kids are grown, but every time they come around all they want to do is talk about their mother. One time our stepdaughter called her from our phone. Apparently her husb...
A. 3 July 2005: Everyone has different ideas of what is socially acceptable. Things which seem totally outlandish to you may not be to her.
Politely explain the type of behaviour you find unnacceptable in your house, and give examples. Focus very much on how t... (read in full...)
My teacher is giving me so much extra attention that I don't know what to think!
Q. Hello, I am a high school student and I have a crush on my teacher. I don't know if he likes me or not. We are good friends and he helps me a lot. He is always by my side when I am nervous. He shows up a lot in front of me even if he doesn't ...
A. 3 July 2005: HAve you ever thought that this man is just genuinley concerned about you? When we feel something for someone we can often misinterpret kindness and concern for sexual attraction. I can't deny he wants to be your friend or is interested in your ... (read in full...)
I want to trust my boyfriend not cheat with my friend...
Q. Hello everyone, I am 17 years old, and my friend likes my boyfriend. I talked to him about it, and he knows she likes him, but he says he doesnt like her, he was saying really nice things, but I dont know if I should believe it. I know this sounds ...
A. 3 July 2005: Sounds like you have been hurt in the past, but he sounds like a great guy. He seems to genuinely love you, and you are looking for a problem that is not there. If you love him you need to trust him.... (read in full...)
So afraid of rejection that I don't know if I'll ever find a relationship that lasts....
Q. After many years of failing to start a relationship with someone, I fell in love with a 13 year old (I was 31 at the time). This isn't pedo, as I've not been interested in schoolgirls before or now. We ended up seeing each other (with both our ...
A. 3 July 2005: Of course you are scared of rejection, everybody is. You have to open your heart. You may get hurt, and dissapointed and have your heart broken, but without this risk you will never find true love.
Any relationship with a 13 year old girl wil... (read in full...)
It feels like he doesn't care about me or my feelings. When I try to talk about it, he just says I'm too young.
Q. I a 20 years old and have a 4 year old son and a daughter on the way on the 25th of July. I am in a relationship with a 25 year old and we've been together 2 years. I love him to death and will give him the world if I could, but half the time I f...
A. 3 July 2005: So he has been with you for two years, you are a mother and he impregnated you but he still says you are too young to understand relationship issues? PLEASE! Is seems your partner is avoiding intimacy and using the only excuse he can think of. he ... (read in full...)
Was he trying to drop hints, or was he just having a normal chat with me?
Q. I get on with my partner's mate (who is married) quite well even thought I have only known him about 10 months and don't see him that often. Question that I need to know, ok he was a bit drunk and we had been chatting for about 10 minutes about a ...
A. 3 July 2005: Alcohol lowers inhibitions, full stop. You're reading more into this conversation than there was. He is a married man. Maybe you wanted there to be a bit more to it. You were the first one to mention sex.... (read in full...)
I gave up my friends and gave up going out so I could concentrate on my relationship... but he's never here!
Q. I have been married for two years but with my husband for seven. I gave up my friends because he didn't like them and I gave up going out because I have kids. I felt it was time to devote myself to my kids and my relationship with my husband. T...
A. 3 July 2005: Any man who asks you to give up your friends is trying to control you. So what if he dosen't like them, he doesn't have to spend time with them, you do! Does your husband ever take care of the kids? There are two of you and parental respons... (read in full...)
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