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female
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anonymous
writes: I get on with my partner's mate (who is married) quite well even thought I have only known him about 10 months and don't see him that often. Question that I need to know, ok he was a bit drunk and we had been chatting for about 10 minutes about a contortionist we had seen at a circus (on separate occasions) and that it was a sexual thing for him and then he decided to tell me a personal secret about when he was 20 he once did it six times in one night on a one night stand and that he wouldn't have the stamina to do it that many times now. Was this just general relaxed chat that men normally chat about with mates or was he trying to tell me something?I was just suprised that he told me. I wasn't offended; I just felt it strange for a man to talk to a mate's partner about that sort of thing on a friendly basis. Can someone advise me on this one?
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reader, NordicBeauty +, writes (6 July 2005):
When men drink, they like to boast...it's a fact.What he shared with you about the contortionist seems harmless enough, but if he starts sharing "other" secrets that become more personal & treads on inappropriate territory, you need to set him straight !
A
female
reader, Helen05 +, writes (3 July 2005):
Alcohol lowers inhibitions, full stop. You're reading more into this conversation than there was. He is a married man. Maybe you wanted there to be a bit more to it. You were the first one to mention sex.
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A
female
reader, Bev Conolly  +, writes (3 July 2005):
 Sounds to me like he was fishing around, seeing if you'd be prepared to reciprocate with some sexual secret of your own.
He was probably also waiting for you to make some sort of comment about his having sex six times in a night, like by winking suggestively and asking if he was sure he couldn't try just once more... Etc.
Ick.
If he'd been sprung, he could argue that he was just making light-hearted conversation, but I believe that he would have been pleased as Punch if you'd wanted to make sexy chit-chat with him, too.
Just so that he doesn't try to make any further moves, I'd be making sure that there's always another person with you in the room with him. He sounds like a bit of a player and is probably interested in you.
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