My Affair of the heart has ended. How do I get over my lover? I've been married 7 years/
Q. I had an affair of the heart. I'm married and have been with my wife for 7 years, and we have a son. There is nothing wrong with our marriage in general, nothing I'm unhappy about. Anyway in February a woman came into my life. She works for t...
A. 9 September 2011: Thanks for the follow up. I am pleased for you :) hope it all goes well, and best of luck. x... (read in full...)
My ex has forgotten when my birthday is. Do I have a right to be peeved or am I making a big deal of nothing?
Q. My ex and me were together for just under six months. It's been several months now since we broke up. We've tried to be friends since then but it has been difficult for me because she ended it and then got a new boyfriend soon after. Anyway, t...
A. 9 September 2011: Good luck for your date on Tuesday :) hope you have a great time.
Also think about changing your number so the ex can't contact you anymore?! x... (read in full...)
I'm married and can't get over a crush!
Q. Help! I am married and can't get over a crush. The guy is married too and is not as good looking/hunky as my husband. I think I fell for his wit and sense of humour. I did enjoy flirting with him. I don't know why I am feeling this way. I've ...
A. 9 September 2011: Well at least you haven't acted on it, so that's a good sign! (and it is normal to still be attracted to the opposite sex whether you're married or in a relationship, we are all only human after all, as long as you don't do anything more!)
Good ... (read in full...)
How to deal when ex's life is so much better without you in their lives
Q. Hello all I need some help. My ex and I have been broken up for a year now and the road to recovery has been drastically different between the two of us. Ever since she ended things with me, she has a new boyfriend a few days after ending things ...
A. 9 September 2011: Well what sort of things do you like to do?
Do you like sport? Would you be interested in joining a gym, football team, swimming club etc?
Or you do like languages? Learning stuff at a night class? Photography etc?
Do you like animals, ... (read in full...)
How to deal when ex's life is so much better without you in their lives
Q. Hello all I need some help. My ex and I have been broken up for a year now and the road to recovery has been drastically different between the two of us. Ever since she ended things with me, she has a new boyfriend a few days after ending things ...
A. 9 September 2011: How do you know all these things about your ex? If it is because you are still in contact with her, then it's obviously not helping you? Stop comparing her life with yours, we all do things, have good things happen to us at different times ... (read in full...)
Should I dump my b/f because he isn't sympathetic when I'm having my period?
Q. My boyfriend isnt sympathetic when i am on my period, should i dump him ?. He calls me moody and says that he wont put up with the way i am every month when its my time of the month. I get severe cramps and it really gets me down. I know men dont ...
A. 9 September 2011: Well yeah he should be a bit more sympathetic tbh!
But if you suffer really bad period pain/mood swings, you should perhaps try taking something for it (ask at a chemist or your gp).
Most men (apart from CaringGuy!) ;-) don't understand what ... (read in full...)
I'm married and can't get over a crush!
Q. Help! I am married and can't get over a crush. The guy is married too and is not as good looking/hunky as my husband. I think I fell for his wit and sense of humour. I did enjoy flirting with him. I don't know why I am feeling this way. I've ...
A. 9 September 2011: I don't know how to tell you to get over a crush, but if you are happily married, think of what you could lose if you took it further? You've been married for 20 years, and I'm imagining that could lead to boredom and when someone else shows you a... (read in full...)
Boyfriend has broken up with me, what do I do next? Give him space? Go and talk to him? Or give up?
Q. Hey - I need some help. My boyfriend of 3 years recently broke up with me. He said he still loved me, cared for me and fancied me but there was something missing. He also said he still wanted us to be friends. He has contacted me a couple of times ...
A. 8 September 2011: Yeah you're right the worst thing about a break-up is when you don't get a clear cut answer because you go over and over it in your head, why why why?!! (Sometimes it's easier if they've met someone else, told you they are not IN love with you ... (read in full...)
My ex has forgotten when my birthday is. Do I have a right to be peeved or am I making a big deal of nothing?
Q. My ex and me were together for just under six months. It's been several months now since we broke up. We've tried to be friends since then but it has been difficult for me because she ended it and then got a new boyfriend soon after. Anyway, t...
A. 8 September 2011: I agree with what the others have said really, if it is knocking you backwards everytime she contacts you, then you have to either say something like, you've tried to be friends with her, but it's stopping you from moving on, but maybe in the future ... (read in full...)
How could he? Feel so hurt after finding my ex cheated on me before we broke up.
Q. I broke up with my boyfriend of nearly 7 years 6 months ago because we were so different and wanted different things. I know what I did was for the best but it still hurt, anyway he was so heartbroken but turned on me spreading horrible lies and ...
A. 8 September 2011: How do you know he started seeing this girl before you broke up? Did he tell you that? He could've been saying it to get back at you as you broke up with him?
If it is true, then thank yourself lucky you found out now, and didn't waste another ... (read in full...)
My ex has forgotten when my birthday is. Do I have a right to be peeved or am I making a big deal of nothing?
Q. My ex and me were together for just under six months. It's been several months now since we broke up. We've tried to be friends since then but it has been difficult for me because she ended it and then got a new boyfriend soon after. Anyway, t...
A. 8 September 2011: I would probably feel the same tbh! lol (But reading it,when someone else says it, you realise its a bit of a waste of an emotion!)
But she could've just been using it as an excuse to text you, (I think woman generally remember stuff like this!) O... (read in full...)
Why are these married friends suddenly ignoring each other?
Q. There are two people in our circle of friends who have suddenly started ignoring each other/playing it cool with each other. We are all married and have been friends for many years and do things together with our respective spouses. They are not ...
A. 7 September 2011: Well you've asked and they obviously do not want to discuss it!
My immediate thoughts are could they have been having an affair with each other, that's now been ended with one of them not wanting it to? Just a thought? Or could 1 of them of had a... (read in full...)
My Affair of the heart has ended. How do I get over my lover? I've been married 7 years/
Q. I had an affair of the heart. I'm married and have been with my wife for 7 years, and we have a son. There is nothing wrong with our marriage in general, nothing I'm unhappy about. Anyway in February a woman came into my life. She works for t...
A. 7 September 2011: Lol, if I listened to the advice I give, I wouldn't have ever had any relationship problems! It's a lot easier to give advice to others but harder when it's your own problems isn't it? ;-) Thank god I haven't got any problems relationship wise at ... (read in full...)
Boyfriend has broken up with me, what do I do next? Give him space? Go and talk to him? Or give up?
Q. Hey - I need some help. My boyfriend of 3 years recently broke up with me. He said he still loved me, cared for me and fancied me but there was something missing. He also said he still wanted us to be friends. He has contacted me a couple of times ...
A. 7 September 2011: Being dumped is the worst feeling in the world, because you have no control over it all :-(
When it comes out of the blue, it can make you act irrational too, (begging people to take you back, crying, texting them etc) things that will make you... (read in full...)
How should I get this break up over with?
Q. ok well my boyfriend hasnt replied me for months i want to break it off with him i think he feels the same cause he sent me a message saying we need to talk and i replied i know i am storing his stuff over summere and am taking it to his ...
A. 7 September 2011: Why doesn't your mum know you are dating?
Did you mean he hasn't replied to you in MONTHS?? What??
Just go there, say you don't want to be with him anymore, (if your don't?), say here's your stuff, and hope we can still be friends (if you ... (read in full...)
An insight about loneliness and relationships
Q. I recently had an insight (at least an insight for me) into loneliness and relationships which I thought I would share here on DC to bounce off other agony aunts and uncles and those who consult them. Recently I was contacted again by a woman...
A. 7 September 2011: I would just like to point out that many married people can also feel 'lonely' too, and many single people are not!
I think it also depends on if you enjoy your own company. Although in relationships you do have to give and take to some degree, ... (read in full...)
He man who says "you deserve better". What does he mean??
Q. Some of my friends and I are at our wits end when it comes to a certain type of man. We've come across this type of man at least one time each, and none of us are any wiser. It's the man who says "you deserve better than me", and then ends the re...
A. 7 September 2011: Personally I think when a man says that it's just a cop out/another version of it's not you it's me...! (and yeah we've probably all heard it at one time or another...) :-(
They are just 'not feeling it' with you anymore, but appreciate you are ... (read in full...)
How do I properly satisfy my curiousity?
Q. Ok to put this bluntly I've fantisized about having sex with another male since I was in my late teens. The only way I can think of, to try this out is meeting someone online, especially in my area. Obvisouly I want to be safe both physically and ...
A. 7 September 2011: Are you gay or just curious do you mean? Why can't you just meet people in a gay bar for instance, get to know them, have a gay relationship etc??? Or is it just gay sex you are after do you mean?
Meeting people that your only know online obviousl... (read in full...)
Is it possible he'll consent to having sex with me?
Q. hey i am gay and i have a friend whom i like very much but i don't know if he is gay or straight. next month he is coming to my house to stay for a week, we will sleep in the same room alone, and i really want to have sex with him is there any way i ...
A. 7 September 2011: I'm confused...How come if you are friends you don't know if he is gay or straight??!! Does he know you are gay??!!
If he is gay and also fancies you then obviously there is a chance!
Do you want a relationship with him or just sex?... (read in full...)
I just want it to stop hurting...
Q. im not really sure where to start. its all such a mess. i was in care as a child my dad was an alcoholic (he was my world) me and mum never got on. i have a younger sister who mum has always had with her and she adores. shes a year younger than me. ...
A. 7 September 2011: Aside from your relationship split up, have you ever had professional help/talked with a counsellor over your childhood, bereavement or being in care?
It seems to me that you have a lot of other problems from that past that you need to deal wit... (read in full...)
I'm just scared in case this effective sperm donor tries to claim MY child.
Q. I had a one night stand with a stranger several years ago... shameful bad naughty me, i get it. It was my one act of stupid foolish wildness that prompted me to be a better person, to never be so silly no matter what life throws my way. I am not the ...
A. 7 September 2011: Well I'm sure you are not the first and won't be the last to have a one night stand (so no need to beat yourself up over that one!)
It seems like the father (or should that be 'sperm donor') isn't interested anyway. But you would need to seek leg... (read in full...)
Why is my husband so short tempered???
Q. My husband is 33. I am 29. He gets into arguments with a lot of people. The new neighbor was doing something wrong, or not the way he would have done it. My husband walked over on a mission or mercy, as he called it, to help the guy out. The ...
A. 7 September 2011: Has he always been like this? (I'm assuming not, else you wouldn't have married him?) Perhaps he has an undiagnosed medical problem that is making him like this? A trip to the doc would be worth a shot. If he carries on getting so mad with people ... (read in full...)
My Affair of the heart has ended. How do I get over my lover? I've been married 7 years/
Q. I had an affair of the heart. I'm married and have been with my wife for 7 years, and we have a son. There is nothing wrong with our marriage in general, nothing I'm unhappy about. Anyway in February a woman came into my life. She works for t...
A. 6 September 2011: You did well today in work with her.
Remember she is also going through the same thing though (I mean trying to deal with getting over you so she is probably also finding it hard to know how to act towards you!!)
And you feel angry/sad/bitter... (read in full...)
Why do exes from years ago get in touch when they're single and have nothing to do?
Q. Why do exs from years ago get in touch again when they are single and having nothing else to do ? This has happened to me ...again , im with someone , have been for two years , my ex knows this , her other half is in prison, she married him whil...
A. 6 September 2011: I think you misunderstood me! I mean't, I think there was and ulterior motive on HER part for wanting to get in touch with you!...
But anyway you seen to have dealt with her, and moved on! x... (read in full...)
Texting male friends constantly while we were watching a movie, should I be okay with this?
Q. So I met this girl, we hit it off And started seeing eachother. One of the things we talked about was how her last boyfriend was very controling, wouldn't let her have male friends, go out to the bar with her girlfriends And so forth. Well I don't ...
A. 6 September 2011: Well it seemed you just weren't right for each other in the end :-/ Maybe one day she will be with someone who texts others constantly when they are with her, and ignore her, and it will make her think... ;-) x... (read in full...)
Texting male friends constantly while we were watching a movie, should I be okay with this?
Q. So I met this girl, we hit it off And started seeing eachother. One of the things we talked about was how her last boyfriend was very controling, wouldn't let her have male friends, go out to the bar with her girlfriends And so forth. Well I don't ...
A. 5 September 2011: No I don't think this is acceptable at all!! Tbh, even if she was texting her girl friends it is just plain RUDE! I have been in similar situations and in the end i said just text them saying you are having a night in with your girlfriend an... (read in full...)
My Affair of the heart has ended. How do I get over my lover? I've been married 7 years/
Q. I had an affair of the heart. I'm married and have been with my wife for 7 years, and we have a son. There is nothing wrong with our marriage in general, nothing I'm unhappy about. Anyway in February a woman came into my life. She works for t...
A. 5 September 2011: Until you are fully over each other you can never be just friends... I think you should just be polite to her in work and if she comments you are being cold/in a mood with her etc, just state you are trying to make your marriage work and want to... (read in full...)
Why do exes from years ago get in touch when they're single and have nothing to do?
Q. Why do exs from years ago get in touch again when they are single and having nothing else to do ? This has happened to me ...again , im with someone , have been for two years , my ex knows this , her other half is in prison, she married him whil...
A. 5 September 2011: You can be friends with exes so long as you are BOTH over the split. As to why do exes get in touch when they have nothing to do, i guess it is just reminiscing when they are loney perhaps, and not entirely happy in their current situation? ... (read in full...)
Why is it me that has to arrange everything and do all the chasing?
Q. Hi, Ive been seeing this women for 4 weeks now. We have been out on several dates (ice skating, dinner, theme park) and I have arranged another where we will go horse riding for an hour or so. The thing is I quite like her, but it seams as ...
A. 22 July 2011: She may be shy, and just enjoy you taking the lead (or think you like to do that?)
Why not just say something like 'I feel like I'm picking all the date venues, what would you like to do? Surprise me?' Or if you want to make it seem like a 'joint... (read in full...)
How do you know when you're over your ex?
Q. So my ex and I have been broken up for 3 months now, and we havent talked to each other in awhile cause i felt like i needed my space in order to move on....My question is how do you know when your over your ex?...
A. 22 July 2011: Yeah, I think when you think about them less and less or feel no resentment/sadness/anger/bitterness (in other word indifference) towards them is a good sign :-)
The ultimate test is of course when you see them with someone else! (the first ti... (read in full...)
How can I sit with my mum and tell her I have been lying for a year??
Q. I have been dating my boyfriend for a year now, hes 36 and I'm 20. I love him more than anything. We had our up and downs but we are always there for each other and find a way to work our differences. He knows my family and they all love him, ...
A. 21 July 2011: I wouldn't be surprised if your mum doesn't have an idea of what's going on to be honest!!
She may or may not be happy about it, but you can bet your life if she openly disapproves, she knows this will push you more towards him! If you are both... (read in full...)
He disappeared after our second date...and I miss him so much I cry myself to sleep!
Q. I dated someone twice. Then, he disappeared - he didn't make contact with me after the second date. I haven't seen / heard from him for 2 weeks now. I'm disappointed and confused. I'm too embarrassed to call him because the last time we met (2nd...
A. 21 July 2011: RedAthena says it all really. (Unless something major happened in his life, that made it hard for him to contact you, I think you will just have to put it down to a hard lesson learnt) He is not worth your tears if he just used you for sex. ... (read in full...)
I really like her but I'm worried I'm too eager
Q. I need some help. I'm a mature man. I have been out of a long-term relationship for about 18 months. I have been trying to sort my life out. Now I have met a woman a little younger than me, but not embarrassingly so and I really like her. I'm gett...
A. 21 July 2011: Well sorry to hear that.
(There could be a number of reasons she has said that though) 1) She could just be telling the truth or 2)she might be a bit scared of her feelings and and trying to deny them by backing off. (I have said similar ... (read in full...)
Partner leaves me for days when I try to talk to him
Q. When I confront my partner about things he always walks out and is gone for days. During this time he is nasty to me via text and acts like he doesn't care. My question is dies care or am I being played for a fool x ...
A. 16 July 2011: If he is your age, he sounds very immature. How can you solve anything by walking away and no contact for days?
I would tell him it is not on! You may need to look for someone else who is actually mature enough to be in a relationship and disc... (read in full...)
Why I am losing on so many fronts?
Q. Since I was born , I have been on fighting on so many fronts. I was 14, when pimples started appearing on my scalp and they were gone when I reached 20 but at the cost of losing my hair. after five years, I lost my heart to a girl with whom I w...
A. 16 July 2011: Oh dear, you are going through a bad time aren't you. But you are not a loser. We all have shit in our lives.
The truth is no-one can really change it expect you. Instead of listing all the bad stuff, how about listing all the good things y... (read in full...)
I'm a cheater. How do I find my happiness with just one person?
Q. Dear world, I'm 30 years old ive had my share of unsuccessful relationships...mainly unsuccesful because of me. i've never been faithful in a relatonship. im emotionally cheating and sometimes it leads to cheating physically if the emotional pa...
A. 16 July 2011: Wow, if you don't even feel slightly guilty for cheating, maybe you are just not ready to settle down? Or maybe you just haven't met the 'one' yet? Either way, If i were you I would just date casually for now, and make it clear you do not want to ... (read in full...)
I like being with him but he doesn't satisfy me in bed. How do I tell him?
Q. Hello there! I recently started dating a man who is 20 years older than me. He is 66 and I am 46. We met online and we had an almost immediate connection, at least on an emotional and spiritual level for me, but for him it seems that he feels he is ...
A. 16 July 2011: Sex is not the be all and end all.
Perhaps you just need to experiment a bit more? Or go to the docs to see if they can help? (with medicine, counselling etc?) It's worth a shot, as you seem to have found a guy that you really enjoy his comp... (read in full...)
How can I learn who I am and change who I was?
Q. Ok. Being at age 33 I have learned that what I have done with my life just isn't enough. I have a decent job that I love helping people. I make decent money. After having been broken up for months with the same kind of women that I have dated for ...
A. 16 July 2011: You shouldn't put yourself down so. Your co-workers invited you out, so they obviously enjoy your company. What do you mean by 'lower class' exactly?
Are your co-workers doctors? Even if they are we all go the toilet, cry if hurt, eat when hun... (read in full...)
I really like her but I'm worried I'm too eager
Q. I need some help. I'm a mature man. I have been out of a long-term relationship for about 18 months. I have been trying to sort my life out. Now I have met a woman a little younger than me, but not embarrassingly so and I really like her. I'm gett...
A. 16 July 2011: Just go with the flow, and take each day as it comes and enjoy her company! You can say things like 'I had a really good time with you today, would like to do it again soon'
That just makes it clear you like her without being overbear... (read in full...)
How do I start to gather some self respect and finally break all ties?
Q. I have been with my married lover for 3 years. Over the years he has hurt me terribly and blamed it on 'being weak'. He has lied through his back teeth and it has gotten to the point were I'm struggling with everything he says. I am madly inlove w...
A. 16 July 2011: Affairs can seem very exciting, but trust me, if you got together as couple it would not be like it is now.
You are worth so much more than this, find someone who doesn't have a family/wife and can give you all you deserve and need. Could yo... (read in full...)
Do I need to keep my opinions to myself or embrace my outspoken nature?
Q. lately people around me tend to think i am being a pain in the but or a jerk. i can not really figure out why this would be? i am one of the those people or at least i have become one of late who speaks there mind who doesn't take shit from any ...
A. 12 July 2011: You are who you are (and if we were all the same, what a boring world it would be!) I am also a very opinionated person, and I just say what I think most of the time. (I am a lot older than you though, and I have to say I have toned it down... (read in full...)
I need some opinions on whether I am being used by my boyfriend!
Q. Hey, I need some opinions on whether I am being used by my bf...I feel like I am at the moment, but need some perspective. We've been together 7 months, don't live together, both work shifts, full time. But I find myself feeling used by him at ...
A. 12 July 2011: You could try dropping him a few hints... eg 'You cooked tonight for me, so I will do the washing up' (Hopefully he will pick up on that and when YOU cook, he will do the same) Ask him did he like his massage? (He will obviously say YES!) Say yo... (read in full...)
Did my hymen break again?
Q. This is a really really weird question and everyone I've asked doesn't have any clue! Today I had sex with my new boyfriend for the first time. I was quite sexually active with my last boyfriend so it wasn't my first time. HOWEVER, when havi...
A. 12 July 2011: There are many reasons, a bit rough sex, infection, cervical erosions, polyps, period due etc.
I would just wait a little while till you have sex again (and be extra gentle!) but if it happens again, go to your GP/Sexual health clinical... (read in full...)
How to show my ex FB what he's missing.
Q. I'm really angry towards this guy I used to see; it was more of a casual thing and things fizzled out because I told him that I wanted to talk about our situation - if there was a future. So lesson learnt and since then I became celibate until I am ...
A. 12 July 2011: The fact you want to 'show him what he is missing' just proves you haven't moved on from him yet (sorry)
If you had genuinely had, you would just be indifferent to him.
If you want to be friends with him (at some point in the future) I sugges... (read in full...)
I don't know what I want, and I don't think he does either
Q. I have just gone through a divorce after 16 years of marriage. I met this guy that is also going through a divorce. We started talking for a couple of months. We had a good relationship then we had a argument and things never went back to how they ...
A. 12 July 2011: He doesn't know what he wants, his head seems all over the place tbh! I think he probably has feelings for you, but divorcing has messed him up. He (and you) could probably do with a few months on your own, to get used to being 'unmarried' so t... (read in full...)
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