A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:Some of my friends and I are at our wits end when it comes to a certain type of man. We've come across this type of man at least one time each, and none of us are any wiser. It's the man who says "you deserve better than me", and then ends the relationship. This man will praise the woman, admire her, give compliments, and be a sweetheart to her. Everything appears to be great. And then there's a small issue, or a fight, or some minor trouble (once it came out of nowhere as far as the woman was concerned), and the man would say this "you deserve better". Without the man actually doing anything wrong, or having been horrible. It is terribly annoying, because in these cases the man in question has been overall a lovely person to be with, and someone we wanted to stay with, that made us happy (maybe even happier than any previous boyfriend). So where does it come from, what does it mean? And why can't the women be the ones to decide for themselves what they "deserve" or not? It's a ridiculous thing to say, and we would like to get to the bottom of it. Why does a man say this?? Reply to this Question
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female
reader, CindyCares  +, writes (7 September 2011):
 Because he thinks HE deserves better and wants to get rid of you diplomatically.
A
male
reader, Odds  +, writes (7 September 2011):
 It's a way of ending the relationship while saving face - pretty much just a way to avoid having to deal with a fight. Basically, if a man uses this term, he believes you're too high-maintenance or prone to fighting for him to say anything else - or, just as likely, he's saying that he's had his fun and wants a new girl, through no fault of your own.
Not a great thing to hear, really. Hopefully you'll have better luck in the future.
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A
female
reader, Fate100percent  +, writes (7 September 2011):
Personally I think when a man says that it's just a cop out/another version of it's not you it's me...! (and yeah we've probably all heard it at one time or another...) :-(
They are just 'not feeling it' with you anymore, but appreciate you are a nice person, and they want you to be happy, they just don't want you. They don't want to hurt you because you are a nice person, but the chemistry has gone (for them anyway) :-(
It just a shit thing to say to someone and even shitter to hear!! I would rather hear I don't fancy you/want to be with you anymore personally!! x
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (7 September 2011): Hi
I would guess it means he enjoys you very much but he is letting you know it's not for keeps...by saying another man will stick around longer than i intend to because soon i will be gone. It's a polite clever way of planting the seed of i am going to probably hurt you ,but i am pre warning you not to get too atached. I don't know it's just how i would take it....it would be fun to call his bluff and ...politly respond with picking your bag and shoes up say yes i agree and actually go and find one.
I would love to be a fly on the wall if you did that LOL...
spunky monkey
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