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... Send *evastated2008 a private message | | | *evastated2008's profile:I am not qualified to help anyone, but God is. I can give my opinion, advice, or share my experience but its up to the receipient to decide what is useful. My experience is wide and varied... and overall I am mostly at peace (with occassional lapses) and I owe that to God and what He provides me.
I am a Christian and believe in a literal translation of the Bible as the inspired word of God. This site has many variations of beliefs so if you don't like my answer I am sure if you look you'll find the answer you want to hear.
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Is a strong sense of love enough for a relationship?
Q. I have been with my boyfriend for over a year. He is without a doubt the nicest man I have ever been with, and I think he is the only one that truly loves and cares for me. He has often said that he feels differently about me than anyone else he h...
A. 18 August 2009: I think you are acting more like his mother than his girlfriend. You are doing his work for him, worrying about his problems, and overcompensating by working too much. We women tend to think we are being loving by giving unconditionally, but men ... (read in full...)
How do you get over being cheated on?
Q. I do not want to have sex with my husband anymore. I found out he cheated on my five months ago and since then I have had absolutely no desire to have any kind of sexual contact with him. We have been through couseling, but it seems like nothing ...
A. 17 August 2009: You need something from him that you're not getting. You need to figure out what that is... is he repentant? taking steps to protect you from future pain? does he know what caused him to cheat? Are you testing him/setting him up? Explore your ... (read in full...)
Can relationship work if we can't see each other for 2 years?
Q. my girlfriends mom wont let me see her. i am 18 she is 14. i love her and want to be with her and she feels the same. i dont know if it will work though. will we be able to make our relationship work without seeing eachother for 2 years?...
A. 17 August 2009: In most states, your relationship especially if it turns sexual is considered statuatory rape. You're legally an adult and she's a child. Even a non-sexual relationship may have legal consequences if the mother wanted to pursue it.
Real love is ... (read in full...)
I'm married with a child but I'm still in love with my ex from 10 years ago, who I work with! How do I get out of this mess?
Q. I can't stop thinking about him, I saw him a couple of weeks ago in a new band project I play bass guitar in that my musician friends threw together, one guy who did put it together told me my ex was still in love with me, what am I suppose to do, I ...
A. 17 August 2009: This is already a big messy mess. You made the vows to your husband... remember better or worse... I know you're unhappy but a fantasy isn't going to fix the problem. You need to get out of that band and remove yourself from temptation.
Then ... (read in full...)
I feel bad that I haven't been touching him!
Q. I'm 15 and I currently have a great boyfriend. He has been coming over and we have been making out and he has been touching me. But I haven't been touching him. He wants me to though. And I feel bad I haven't been. Should I feel this way? And also ...
A. 17 August 2009: I know its hard when you're in love, but things are moving way to fast. You arent resisting him touching you probably because it feels great... but deep down you don't feel right about it and you're scared... which is why you resist touching him ... (read in full...)
The deadline for telling his wife has come and gone. How do I tell her anonymously?
Q. I have been carrying on an affair with a married man. He is going to leave his wife, I do believe that. The thing is, the original timeline for him leaving her has already come and gone. Circumstances have just naturally happened that have caused ...
A. 17 August 2009: Are you honestly asking for advice for how to best break up your affair partner's marriage? Why are you involved in this at all? Well...she does have a right to know... so she can decide how she wants to proceed. She may want to try to salvage h... (read in full...)
How do I leave with no money, no help and get the children to understand?
Q. I've been with my boyfriend for 13 yrs now and I'm pretty sure I am no longer in love with him. We have 2 children together 6 and 11 and I’m afraid to leave because I don't want to hurt them. Although he doesn't spend much time with them I know they ...
A. 17 August 2009: This sounds like a very complicated issue. Your common law marriage needs to be treated like a marriage for your kids sakes if nothing else. My suggestion would be to separate, be honest with bf about all the problems and decide from there. Be ... (read in full...)
How do I leave with no money, no help and get the children to understand?
Q. I've been with my boyfriend for 13 yrs now and I'm pretty sure I am no longer in love with him. We have 2 children together 6 and 11 and I’m afraid to leave because I don't want to hurt them. Although he doesn't spend much time with them I know they ...
A. 17 August 2009: This sounds like a very complicated issue. Your common law marriage needs to be treated like a marriage for your kids sakes if nothing else. My suggestion would be to separate, be honest with bf about all the problems and decide from there. Be ... (read in full...)
Dating someone who has been sexually abused..how do you go about it?
Q. hey, this might be on the edge of what this site is for but here it goes: There's this girl that really likes me and i really like her, i'm one of the very few people she has trusted enough to tell that she has been sexually abused by her un...
A. 17 August 2009: Yes there will be problems in the relationship. She does not need a sexual relationship with you now or anywhere in the near future. She needs love, respect, nurturing, cherishing, and healthy/safe boundaries - all the things she has been deprived ... (read in full...)
Is it possible to wait for my husband to get over his midlife crisis and create a loving relationship with him again?
Q. Is it midlife crisis or narcissism? My now ex husband of 19y had an affair with a coworker, refused to end it, divorced me, left me with our 6 children to move out of state and marry his pregnant gf. He financially supports our children, but for ...
A. 16 August 2009: I appreciate all the responses. Just want to clarify... when he was secretly seeing me we were still married just separated and I was still hoping to salvage the relationship. And he was definitely torn during that time. I have not been with him ... (read in full...)
My wife finally confessed about her affair, do you think we could ever be happy again?
Q. i am married for the last twenty two years to a beautiful woman who i taught was my soulmate for life. for the first fifteen years we had a wonderful marriage and have five beautiful children. seven years ago my wife started a new job and everything ...
A. 15 August 2009: I would love to be in your shoes... my husband left after 18years to pursue an affair with a coworker... we were divorced at 19ys and he has recently married his coworker because she "accidently" got pregnant. I know my husband loved me but was ... (read in full...)
How can I trust my husband? His words and actions do not match
Q. How do I know,that my husband is tellig the truth,and I'm not going to be just a ''victim''? Well,a few years ago,he stopped being sexual with me, what left me totally puzzeled ,specially , because it came so suddenly. Now, he always looks lik...
A. 15 August 2009: Trust your instincts... something is wrong. One way or the other you need it addressed. Either you fix it or you separate... I don't mean you suggest divorce... I said separate. Be firm, loving and assertive... you continue counseling regardless ... (read in full...)
How do you stop a married guy from hitting on you??
Q. I am single and was on a business trip abroad. My business partner is a very kind helpful person and good fun to be with. He is happily married with a beautiful wife. Suddenly he is sending me very wrong signals. He came to the airport to drop me - ...
A. 15 August 2009: Be blunt and assertive don't play female games of "don't want to hurt his feelings". If he doesn't listen and behave properly tell his boss, his wife, HR and file a lawsuit if necessary. If he's doing this to you, he's doing it to others and they ... (read in full...)
He's cheating with a woman he knew 25 years ago! How can I cope with all this?
Q. I've been married to my husband for 20 years now. We've built a dream together; a life together. We have five beautiful children; our youngest is 12. I simply can not imagine life without my family. I love them all so dearly. So why is it that m...
A. 15 August 2009: I can totally relate to your situation... I have six children and after 18 years of marriage.. my husband tells me he is leaving to pursue a coworker he has been having an affair with. I struggled for 8 months to save our marriage both because I ... (read in full...)
She's still friends with the man she had an affair with during her first marriage
Q. So I never saw myself on one of these things, ever, but I find myself really confused, so here we go... I'm in love!, she was once married. She had an affair. She has been very honest with me with everything, including the details of how t...
A. 15 August 2009: Definitely do not trust that relationship... it has all the warning signs of either and existing affair or an affair that can be ignited at any time. If she can't understand the danger and take steps to protect you and the relationship between the ... (read in full...)
He doesn't trust me after I repeatedly cheated on him
Q. I've been with this guy for almost 3 years and he's the love of my life. When we were together for about 6 months I cheated on him with two different people. We worked it out between us, but I didn't have much of a life for a while. When I did start ...
A. 15 August 2009: You can love someone and do terrible things, but unless you do some serious counselling and get to the real reason for your cheating... you WILL do it again. If you don't do the deep soul-searching and identify those hidden needs, he should NEVER ... (read in full...)
Cheating boyfriend: what do I do with him?
Q. If someone can help me now i'd be very gratefull! My BF and I are now together for about 3 and a half years now and about a month ago i caught him in bed with another woman, he admited that it happend twice since then we've gone on vacation for 3 we...
A. 15 August 2009: He may be being sweet and sorry, but he also passed the buck to you... he essentially blamed you for his loss of control. Because you worked were tired ect... he cheated that is bs. His needs may have been being neglected and he certainly had a ... (read in full...)
How do I end this affair with a married man?
Q. So, I have been seeing a married man. Didn't find out until the third time we met that he was married, because something was telling me there was something not rite. We usually meet up about once a week for a few hours then go our separate ways. ...
A. 15 August 2009: You're stalling... if you want to end AND you DEFINITELY should... for your\
have better options than a two-timer and most of all you have more self-respect than to be the other woman. THEN absolutely never take his calls, see him or read his lett... (read in full...)
Why do men/women cheat on their husband/wife?
Q. Why do men/women cheat on their husband/wife? Is it just because they can't resist a beautiful person? Is it because they aren't fully committed? Well then, why did they get married in the first place? Is it because their spouse changes? I love my...
A. 15 August 2009: If you treasure your relationship with your husband don't ever take it for granted. Learn not to criticize and how to keep yourself happy. Don't not change... change and growth is necessary and healthy just don't grow apart. And don't ever let ... (read in full...)
Is the married man I'm seeing the one for me?
Q. I really don't know how to put this without seeming like the bad guy or appearing incredibly stupid. But I am going to try as I really need advice even though it seems so stupid. I have been seeing a married man for over 2 years now. He is slightly ...
A. 10 August 2009: You need to put yourself in the wife's shoes... you have absolutely no claim on him, no rights, nothing and still you are devastated by the potential loss of him, you are jealous of her, and you are in pain. Now imagine that he's your husband, the ... (read in full...)
Leaving marriage for affair partner is that a good thing??
Q. I'm pretty much down to my last option. I'm a 37 year old married man, with two children. Have been married for 8 years, have been together for 15. I am in the middle of an affair. Not real proud of it, it is with a co-worker and it just happened...
A. 8 August 2009: STOP.. the affair. Do the honorable thing and address the issues HONESTLY in your marriage... without another woman between you. Then at least if it ends in divorce you know you did EVERYTHING possible to fullfil your vows and be a good father. ... (read in full...)
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