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... Send *obbyjo a private message | | | *obbyjo's profile:Hi im Bobbyjo, Im 29 years old from South England. I work full time for government but have just finshed a counselling course at college.
Ive had alot of experience with helping my friends with breakups, my familys divorce, my friends sexual hang-ups and also my own problems. And Ive had more than my fair share of that!
Im currently single living with my 2 friends (who are also single) and havent had a relationship for over a year now and am very happy just the way things are. |
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I need advice on whether I should make one last attempt to have a relationship with my ex, or just try to let him go
Q. I need advice on whether I should make one last attempt to have a relationship with my ex, or just try to let him go. Reasons for trying: I'm head over heels in love with him. He's a wonderful guy, and I'm crazy about him. It's not just that I ...
A. 5 October 2008: Okay....what Im about to answer might not be what you want to hear....
After finding myself in the same situation as you, Ive just finished reading a book "he's just not that into you" and the one thing that was stated, which I believe is true eve... (read in full...)
I need advice on whether I should make one last attempt to have a relationship with my ex, or just try to let him go
Q. I need advice on whether I should make one last attempt to have a relationship with my ex, or just try to let him go. Reasons for trying: I'm head over heels in love with him. He's a wonderful guy, and I'm crazy about him. It's not just that I ...
A. 5 October 2008: Okay....what Im about to answer might not be what you want to hear....
After finding myself in the same situation as you, Ive just finished reading a book "he's just not that into you" and the one thing that was stated, which I believe is true eve... (read in full...)
I engage in sex with men I don't love, because I want to feel loved but they treat me like garbage instead! What's wrong with me?
Q. iam verry clingy...i dont know whats wrong with me iam scared to be by myself, i take a lot of crap form guys...i still talk to my ex and even mess with him from time to time after he hurt me so much....stupid huh....i even have this stupid relation ...
A. 2 October 2008: Youre suffering from low self confidence and low self esteem which in turn is destroying your self respect and if you cant respect yourself then its hard for others to respect you hence you being treated like crap by guys.
I too have been cli... (read in full...)
Can physical attraction develop over the years?
Q. How do you become sexually attracted to the guy you want to marry? We have been together for 4 years, and things are perfect, yet i am not physically attracted to him, and sex feels wrong. I want to fix this, and feel it is all in my head. What ...
A. 2 October 2008: I dont think you should be marryinig him if there is no attraction there. Usually, couples start out in the lust phase where they cant keep their hands off one another, this may then turn to love if the connection is right. Then they get married. ... (read in full...)
I feel so used and violated. Does anyone else think this behaviour is abnormal?
Q. I think i was violated by a guy i just had sex with. I hung out with this guy twice, the first time he tried taking my pants off but i insisted they stay on. I wish i would have listened to my instincts that he only wanted sex from me, but i ...
A. 30 September 2008: This guys behaviour doesnt, unfortunately, seem abrnomal as there are many men out there that will use and abuse women for sex. He does seem like a violent bully however and yes Im afraid you were used. I have seen many, many women (myself incuded) ... (read in full...)
How can I get over my ex boyfriend? Cut off all contact?
Q. Hi there, im finding it very hard to get over my ex-boyfriend. We split up about a month ago. I was very much inlove with him so i was devastated when he broke up with me. he didnt really give me any valid reasons so it was very hard to accept it. ...
A. 7 September 2008: Im goin through the same thing......my ex first split with me 3 years ago for another woman. It took me 18 months to get over it and it wasnt easy. Then, finally when I was over it, he comes back into my life, I fall for him again and he dumps me ... (read in full...)
How come I am not as hurt by his horrible behaviour as I thought I would be?
Q. a guy who has lied to you and lead you on for almost a year..has used you to get over someone else only to get back with that person. and then throw it in your face after wards..and talk about you badly to his associates when you've done nothing but ...
A. 27 August 2008: oh my god. What you have described is EXACTLY what im going through with my ex. Only, Im completely the opposite to you....Im a heartbroken mess!! I didnt know there could be a bigger bastard out there than my ex.....obviously there is!!
My ex... (read in full...)
I have to have a tympanoplasty operation. I'm scared.
Q. Well ever since I was small I've had ear infections through out my life.Well I went to the doctor recently and he said that I had holes inside both of my ear drums..he said that I have to have a tympanoplasty.Well I am scared because you know I am ...
A. 14 August 2008: Hi there, I work as a medical secretary for the ENT department at my local hospital. While I am not a doctor, what I do know is that leaving 2 perforations on both ear drums most definitely WILL cause you problems in the long run. Firstly, they will ... (read in full...)
I have pain when he penetrates very deeply, during intercourse, why does it hurt?
Q. why does it hurt when he goes really deep, like all the way in? is he hitting my cervix?...
A. 29 July 2008: i have exactly the same problem. I went to my docs at first they thought I had an infection and took tests which come up as negative. I only get the pain sometimes and not every time I have sex but it is a deep pain. My doc said this pain is when ... (read in full...)
Computer Trouble, Or Is He Ignoring Me?
Q. I met a man on my holiday and we said we would stay friends. At first5 he ansawered my e mails but now he isnt so I can take it as a brush off. However If I sent e mails and they werent getting to him would it come back as undeliverable or not ...
A. 8 July 2008: im not sure, but with my hotmail account I know that if something doesnt get received on the other side I will receive notification to inform me that it was undeliverable. I dont know what email you have so not sure if this is the same for you. ... (read in full...)
How can some guys be so cruel?
Q. How can some guys be so cruel. I know this girl who was telling me about an incident that happen three years ago. She said she went to look for a friend who was working in a mall. she said both of them were walking looking at pictures and she said ...
A. 5 June 2008: This man has sexual assault and your friend should go to the police as soon as possible and report him. She should not feel any shame or disgrace towards herself as this is not her fault, the man is a pervert and should be punished for what he has ... (read in full...)
How can I show them I can be "fun" so they'd stop picking on me by nasty comments?
Q. This is sort of two questions in one. Ok, i'm in college and with a class of nice people, well generally they are nice but for the last 5 months i've been getting pciked on quite abit. Its mroe of verbal bullying actually, nasty comments, just ...
A. 10 May 2008: I think you are trying too hard to impress your classmates and in turn they are reacting in this way. You are dwelling too much on what they are saying/doing/sitting next to etc when really you should be concentrating more on what you are being ... (read in full...)
Can I be pregnant even though I had a 'sort of' period and when should I test again?
Q. I had sex back in march about a week or so after intercourse I began to feel pregnant but I started bleeding light then heavy back to light off and on for 4 days Then it had stopped afterwards I still felt preggo so two days after bleeding I took a ...
A. 13 April 2008: im taking this that you have done another test? If so, then yes you could be pregnant even if the line is very faint. I would wait a few days before doing another one, as the pregnancy hormones increase each day during pregnancy and will give a more ... (read in full...)
Can I be pregnant even though I had a 'sort of' period and when should I test again?
Q. I had sex back in march about a week or so after intercourse I began to feel pregnant but I started bleeding light then heavy back to light off and on for 4 days Then it had stopped afterwards I still felt preggo so two days after bleeding I took a ...
A. 11 April 2008: yes u may be right, but I did not realise u were from America and as I am from UK it is different becos we get blood tests from our doctors for nothing. I know the blood test for u may be expensive but at least u know that the result it will give ... (read in full...)
Can I be pregnant even though I had a 'sort of' period and when should I test again?
Q. I had sex back in march about a week or so after intercourse I began to feel pregnant but I started bleeding light then heavy back to light off and on for 4 days Then it had stopped afterwards I still felt preggo so two days after bleeding I took a ...
A. 11 April 2008: Usually, when a pregnancy test shows negative AFTER uve had your period, it does mean negative. I know it sounds sily but you could also be feeling the other pregnancy symptoms simply by believing that you are, as I expect that it has been on your ... (read in full...)
Am I sticking with him because I hate the idea of being alone?
Q. Hi, I'm really confused I fell in love with one guy and we were best friends for so long but we decided, well i decided, that it would be best that we didn't see eachother so we didn't ruin our friendship. Now i'm with another guy, i really do like ...
A. 11 April 2008: You really are too young to be even worrying about this sort of thing. Yes I think you may only be with him becos u are scared to be alone and if that is the case then u really should break it off sooner rather than later. Trust me, u dont want to ... (read in full...)
24 and still at home, is that normal?
Q. This may sound silly but here goes. Im 24 years old, 25 in June, and I still live at home with my parents. I am single but that's through choice as I havn't met anyone I like yet. I have a good job and earn good money. I have lots of friends and a ...
A. 4 April 2008: I would like to thank you all for your answers but I also want to make clear to you, something that I didnt mention in my question, I have actually moved out before and lived with friends for 3 years.I moved home cos Im over my head in debt. But ... (read in full...)
I've had anal sex for the first time and think I'm pregnant but my mom does not know this and she'a making me take a laxative, can it harm my unborn child?
Q. Ok here goes, I've had anal sex for the first time and think I'm pregnant but my mom does not know this and she'a making me take a laxative, can it harm my unborn child?...
A. 2 April 2008: go back to school and learn some more biology, u cannot get pregnant from anal sex. Subject closed.... (read in full...)
I masturbate but it doesn't feel as good as people say it does.
Q. I masturbate but it doesn't feel as good as people say it does. what happens down there when you orgasm. i stimulate myself but it doesn't seem to work....
A. 2 April 2008: Take time and pay attention to your clit, as this is the most sensitive part if your body. Gently stroking and rubbing around this area will give u alot of pleasure. Dont rush it tho, u need to lay back relax and maybe read/watch something sexy or ... (read in full...)
I'm abused by my own family.
Q. Hi, please help me! My family hit me and honestly i'm sick and tierd of it what am i mean to do? How can i stop this happening? My brother beats me up the most and my mum or dad or sisters don't say anything to him he always hits me hard i've got ...
A. 16 November 2007: You need to tell someone about this and fast.
The best people to contact about this are the NSPCC as you are still a child, their number is - 0808 800 5000.
Or you can visit www.adviceguide.org.uk which will be able to give you info on emer... (read in full...)
I loved him, but he's moved on. How can I deal with this?
Q. Hi everyone I am heartbroken at the moment, the boy that i loved has moved on and found someone else i dont know how to deal with it. We broke up a while ago but i always believed deep down that we'd find our way back to each other.I think its my ...
A. 1 October 2007: Well, maybe you should speak to him and tell him about how you feel but be prepared for what he says as it may not be what you want to hear. You have done well to not contact him yet - your very strong as I know I wouldnt have been able to do this. ... (read in full...)
I loved him, but he's moved on. How can I deal with this?
Q. Hi everyone I am heartbroken at the moment, the boy that i loved has moved on and found someone else i dont know how to deal with it. We broke up a while ago but i always believed deep down that we'd find our way back to each other.I think its my ...
A. 30 September 2007: From what youve said, it does seem like he has moved on and now you need to as well. Trust me I know exactly how hard it is and how painful it is when you see the man you love with soemone else. I was like you - I felt I couldnt go on and believed ... (read in full...)
Has anyone ever got back with an ex they fell out of love with?
Q. Has anyone gotten back together with a partner when they fell out of love? Also has anyone fallen back their sexual attraction to their partner ?...
A. 23 September 2007: I broke with my ex 2 years ago and it took me ages to get over it. I really pined for him and would of done anything to get him back. He was with new girl and really loved her and the pain for me was awful - something I never wanna feel again. So 2 ... (read in full...)
Sometimes I sing her to sleep on the phone at night but lately I've been hearing noises of moaning, groaning and what sounds like sucking or kissing. Very confusing.
Q. Ok well this we'll be the first time i've truly ever asked anyone for help, especially online in a situation like this but i just can't help this feeling.it's driveing me crazy.I'm currently in a long distance relationship with a girl that i truly ...
A. 10 September 2007: If she is doin what you think (i.e. suckin a man off)then she must be sick in the head to leave the phone on knowing full well u can probably hear! Get rid, you can do much better than that!... (read in full...)
Is there a possibility that I might be pregnant again?
Q. I had my abortion 8/21/07 I started having unprotected sex AGAIN 8/28 through 9/6/ so is there a possibility that I might be pregnant again? ...
A. 10 September 2007: Didnt you learn the first time? Getting pregnant isnt a game - youve got some serious growing up to do.... (read in full...)
What are some good songs about unrequited love ?
Q. what are some good songs about loving someone who doesn't love you back? ... ... ... all genres, sung by both female and male .... thanks ...
A. 29 March 2007: Well, for me Sinead O'connors 'Nothing Compares 2 u' makes me cry every time I get dumped, oh and Annie Lennox 'No more I love you's is good x... (read in full...)
I think everyone judges everything about me. It's ruining my life! Help!
Q. Hi all. Okay, this is going to sound really (really, really) stupid, but here it goes: I have a huge problem thinking that people are judging me about everything I do or say. (And I mean EVERYTHING.) It has impacted me on so many levels that...
A. 2 December 2006: Honey, I feel for you I really do. But Im also glad to hear that someone else is going through exactly the same thing as me!!! When I read your problem it was like reading about myself. I constantly think about what other people think of me and it ... (read in full...)
Call for new moderators to help out on the site!
Q. Hiya, I'm looking for a couple of new moderators to help out with the approval of questions and answers. If you're a site "regular", have some time spare and would like to help out, send me a private message. Thanks! Andrew (site guy...
A. 2 December 2006: Hiya
I go on this site everyday, I would love to help
XXXXX... (read in full...)
How do you deal with the fact that someone doesn't love you anymore?
Q. Ok. So, how do you deal with the fact that someone doesn't love you anymore? I had never before been in love cause I never let anyone in (never wanted a broken heart, cause I am not that strong of a person). I finally let this guy in...and I love ...
A. 15 October 2006: I understand how painful this is, I believe it is the most painful feeling in the world but in the end you do learn to accept it. What you have to remember is, although at the moment you are in pain, it does not last forever. Trust me, I was still ... (read in full...)
What is the quickest way to get over a boy?
Q. hey, i need help! im a 16 yr old girl. i was in love with a guy, proper in love, we had soo many gd times together bt now all ive got is a broken heart. he used to tell me he loved me and that i was 'the one'. and i believed him and fell for him. we ...
A. 7 October 2006: I would just like to say to you - please do not take Dr Petes advice and get straight into another relationship!!! Its not fair on on that other person or on yourself and will probably cause you more unnecessary heartache in the long run.
The b... (read in full...)
How do I approach him with looking desperate or scaring him off? Any advice appreciated
Q. I am a catholic girl and really like a guy who attends the church I go to. I know he likes me, but it is so hard to try and really get to know him properly. I beleive that the man should make the first move, I would never like to approach him, I ...
A. 7 June 2006: Youre right, it is more traditional for the man to make the first move when it comes to dating. But it is 2006 and alot of peoples views on this have changed. In my opinion, a girl chasing after a guy doesnt seem desperate; she seems confident and ... (read in full...)
I know I am being immature, but I want him to come back....
Q. Need some quick advice and serious blunt answers, and opinions, I've written before about this, and I read what someone just wrote and it made me realise something, I'm being stupid. my ex and I recently split and I'm finding it very hard to mov...
A. 7 June 2006: Yes you are doing the right thing by ignoring him and letting him be. Please dont continue to text and email him - have some pride and self-respect for yourself. Trust me, hassling your ex will not get you anywhere and will just lead to more ... (read in full...)
Not sure what to do about my ex-boyfriend
Q. Two Weeks ago my ex bf and i discussed getting back together in the near future, once he'd sorted his life out and i had finished my exams. This made me the happiest i had been in months, as breaking up with him in January was the worst thing that ...
A. 6 June 2006: Both of you need to stop for a moment and take a look at what exactly is going on here. What your exboyfriends are doing to you is not fair. Yes they may still love you but it seems to me that they do not want a relationship at this point and want ... (read in full...)
Is it true that you can get over a heartbreak?
Q. Is it possible to never get over someone? They say time heals and all that, but is it a definite thing that heartbreak will end?...
A. 6 June 2006: In my oipnion, I dont think you do ever fully get over a heatrbreak. If you have been terribly hurt in the past, by someone you truly loved, then those feelings of pain and bitterness will always be with you but over time they seem to fade. The ... (read in full...)
I think he likes me but I wasn't on his "top-10"... why!?
Q. I'm soooooo confused about this one guy!! Ok well we were talking back and forth and he thought I was really cute and stuff, but when i asked his friend who he liked he wrote 10 girls he'd go out with and i wasn't on there...Then he would flirt with ...
A. 1 June 2006: Im sorry but this guy sounds so shallow to me I wouldnt even think about getting with him. I mean, writing out a list of people he would date - he must be a young boy!
Just see this little excercise as one of his fantasies, dont compare yourself... (read in full...)
I want other people to like my boyfriend!
Q. Me and my boyfriend have been together ages now, and are/were deeply in love. However, in the last week things began to change. I discovered that he has people after him, that hate him... they write nasty stuff everywhere about him, and all of it is ...
A. 1 June 2006: I understand this feeling completely. One of the greatest attractions of the opposite sex is their popularity and ability to get on with people. If our partner does not have these things, we start to wonder why we ourselves like the person if ... (read in full...)
Can't understand why I don't seem to have any friends!
Q. So, here's the deal. I'm 25 years old and I have NO friends. I find it very difficult to make freinds... and all the more difficult to keep the friends I manage to make. I am very quiet most of the time. I make no effort to make small talk with ...
A. 13 May 2006: Firstly, you must admit to yourself that this problem does bother you and upset you a little because you wouldnt be sharing it on here with us if it didnt. You say that you have accepted the fact that you wont ever have friends and you are not ... (read in full...)
Should I get back together with this boy or just deal with the pain of breakup?
Q. I need some advice urgently im so confused!... ok where to start from im a 16 year old girl.. have been going out with a 16 yr old boy for the past 5 months.. been through a lot together...such as him taking an overdose, my abusive family,we both ...
A. 10 May 2006: It seems that you both care for one another loads but all the negativity that is going on in your lives right now is pushing you both apart. When we suffer from personal problems such as family break-ups and school problems, we find it very hard to ... (read in full...)
Trying to get over him...but it's painful. I'm texting him but am not sending. Good idea?
Q. Im trying to get over Derek but what seems to really hurt is him telling me not to contact me again. We did say to each other what ever happens we'll remain friends. We did have a good friendship. When he has been with women in the past, he always ...
A. 26 April 2006: You deserve so, so much better than that! This man is playing mind games with you! He is clearly tyring to hurt and worry you by telling you not to contact him when you clearly havent done anything wrong. He seems like a power freak to me, trying to ... (read in full...)
Embarrased about going about with my mum, What should I do?
Q. I don't really know how to say this without it sounding stupid, but here goes... My mum and I are really close and she takes me and my little sister to town with her quite a lot. I really enjoy these trips but I get really nervous when I pass oth...
A. 26 April 2006: Dont worry, you are not alone on this one. When I was at school it was so uncool to be seen with your mum or dad in public. I hated it. But eventually, you do grow out of it and then you look back and think - what was so embaressing about that? ... (read in full...)
My looks scare peple, how do I get people to accept me for who I am?
Q. Dear Friends. I'm keeping this short, so just multiply everything I say by 35 years and you'll understand how I feel about this problem. I have Cerebral Palsy. How this comes out in me is in my face, I look like a reject from one of Freddy...
A. 26 April 2006: Im so sorry to hear what you have to go through each day, but I have to agree with Chewabaca - there are other people all over the world who will accept you for who you are and by travelling and meeting new people I am sure you will soon gain the ... (read in full...)
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