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female
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*oucie
writes: Im trying to get over Derek but what seems to really hurt is him telling me not to contact me again. We did say to each other what ever happens we'll remain friends. We did have a good friendship. When he has been with women in the past, he always told me he remained friends with them, even the one he was going to marry some time ago and he didn't want to go through with it, as he didn't want to spend the rest of his life with her. But with me he has told me not to contact him. I racking my brains out here. He said he would ring but doesn't know when. It's been 2 days since he text saying this, so I guess I've just got to get on with my life, but im so tempted to text him again, it's very hard. He still had a couple of things of mine at his as well which i want back, I only have his mobile number, I don't know where he lives, so if he changes that I won't be able to get hold of him. What can i do now. I keep texting and saving messages but not sending them to him, as this helps with getting it off my mind. Thanks for reading
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (1 May 2006): Im feel for you, I honestly do. But, he's made it clear he doesnt want you and I think you should deal with it. He text you he didnt want you... Why would you want him? Its really harsh I know, but he's not sounding too nice a person to me. If he wanted to finish with you he could have given you some respect and spoke to youy, explaining his feelings, letting you have your say, but he's ran away from that responsibility. Its really really tough, but, and its true, it does get easier. He's not for you, no way. Walk away, get on with your life, lean on your friends. If you want to talk to him, write it down. Dont send it. Delet his number from your phone, your memory. He's not treated you with dignity, but snatch it back. Walk away, and get good hard revenge. BE HAPPY! Let him see from afar that you didnt need him, that he was getting more from you than he could ever offer you. I believe, by the sounds of him, that thats true. YOur too good for this coward. Cry, scream, shout, beat up a pillow, but dont ever let him know about it. Chin up, shoulders back, smile on your face and say hello to the world as a new, single independant, intelligent woman. Boy will he be sorry he left you. Take care and good luck. Heather x
A
female
reader, Babybear +, writes (26 April 2006):
I agree with hotmama. I know that the best thing you can do to get over this guy is to have no contact with him whatsoever. You need space from him to heal. Do not text him. I beg you. walk away with dignity and grace. I think this is your instinct, which tells me you are a strong lady, but just need a little help. I have a really hard time staying friends with my exes. Only after a sufficient amount of time goes by have i been able to be friendly with them. You have to be over him before you do that. In terms of your things, are they as important as your mental and emotional health? Are you thinking of using that excuse to contact him? If it's your grandmother's diamonds by all means drop a quick note to have a friend meet him and get them back. Anything short of that...forget about it. Good Luck. Will say a prayer for you today!
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A
female
reader, Bobbyjo  +, writes (26 April 2006):
 You deserve so, so much better than that! This man is playing mind games with you! He is clearly tyring to hurt and worry you by telling you not to contact him when you clearly havent done anything wrong. He seems like a power freak to me, trying to wrap women round his little finger and playing with their heads.Whatever you do, do not text him. This is what he wants and chasing him will make him feel more dominant over you and make you seem desperate. You do not need people like this in your life - if you carry on playing this game you will end up very unhappy. You deserve someone who is genuine and will really love and care for you, so break all ties with this man and move on. It will be his loss to lose someone who really cared for him. Maybe it will teach him a lesson.
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A
male
reader, zhyid +, writes (26 April 2006):
Hi, well i agree on the other answers, i'm currently in the same situation, broke up though, she said no to contact her nor see her, in this case (well it hurt like hell) i just respected her decision and went on with my life i mean, is the least you can do, respect his decision, find yourself a hobby, or just go out with friends, keep yourself distracted.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (26 April 2006): You can try starting a blog and spill your thoughts into it. So far, it's working for me amongst other things. Check out my blog for ideas.
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A
female
reader, prttymtlkitty +, writes (26 April 2006):
 Keep a journal if you have to but texting isn't gonna cut it for long. Take up a new hobby that really fills you up emotionally, preferrably a hobby to help you express and get this out. Some of our best work is done in through our worst pain.
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A
female
reader, hotmama +, writes (26 April 2006):
Forget him. Forget what he has of yours and get on with your life. This guy sounds like a real "player". You don't want someone like him in your life. Just the fact that he told you not to contact him anymore should tell you something. Keep your dignity. If he contacts you, tell him to get lost or he'll hurt you again.
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