Why are him and his friends staring at me?
Q. There is this one guy from my class that stares at me in the hallway for at least three seconds. He also smiled at me a couple times or smiled in my direction. In class he will look at me but look quickly away. He used to stare at me for a minute ...
A. 19 November 2009: Ah...have a look online and google 'body language', there are quite a few reputable sites dedicated to this. Certain tells (without looking like you're staring at him!) can be discovered.
For example; direct eye contact, means he's interest... (read in full...)
After he's done things to hurt me, he still just blames me. How can I make this work?
Q. Hi, I am 19 and I have been in the relationship I'm in right now for almost 2yrs. I have a very big problem with my partner. I have lied to him as well as cheating. I am not proud or happy about what I did, but there is nothing I can do to change ...
A. 18 November 2009: Yup, I was kidding, I should have realised that sarcasm doesn't come across well when you're typing it rather than saying it!
I am glad you've taken off the rose coloured glasses and are beginning to see him as he really is! You can contact ... (read in full...)
After he's done things to hurt me, he still just blames me. How can I make this work?
Q. Hi, I am 19 and I have been in the relationship I'm in right now for almost 2yrs. I have a very big problem with my partner. I have lied to him as well as cheating. I am not proud or happy about what I did, but there is nothing I can do to change ...
A. 17 November 2009: Death?! Torture?! These are not the words of a guy who has just been 'hurt'...he sounds psychotic! Please, please leave him! You say you've nowhere to go, but what about a women's refuge? Not sure if you go to church, but someone in the clergy co... (read in full...)
I worry that my friend is influenced negatively by her entourage! What can I do?
Q. My close friend has always been a real individual- star-wars loving, outgoing, person. She is real peppy and bubbly. Well, she's going through some kind of weird transitional phase and she's gotten real quiet and secretive. She started hanging out ...
A. 17 November 2009: All you can really do is be there for her if she does need to talk. Maybe invite her to come round and see you more often? Perhaps if she doesn't hang around with her 'entourage' as often she'll change back to her old positive self? Confide in her, ... (read in full...)
I'm a virgin and desperate to have sex?
Q. i am a guy of 18yrs old am still a virgin and i have a girl-friend i keep telling her about sex but she ignores me and i need it desperately what can i do to have sex?...
A. 17 November 2009: Is it more to do with the fact that you feel that 18 is too old to still be a virgin or more that your hormones are so abundant they're making you feel like you'll turn radio-active if you don't have sex right now?!
There is nothing wrong with wai... (read in full...)
My b/f and his friends make really sexist jokes, should I worry?
Q. My bf and his friends (who are in their mid 20's) make jokes really sexist jokes. They also find it funny and entertaining talking about women being bashed up and abused by their bf's as well as women being raped and sexually assaulted. How can they...
A. 17 November 2009: Run....like the wind!
The very fact that you know that this sort of behaviour is immoral and disgusting tells you that you know you should leave this guy now before you invest any more of yourself in this relationship.
It's not 'being goody... (read in full...)
I'm finding it hard to manage... any advice would be welcome.
Q. Hey, Ok I'm doing my leaving cert next year. I am finding it hard to manage. I work 8 hours every single saturday and sunday. When I am home, I have to cook the dinner and clean up the house. My mum is always really tired from work, and I do...
A. 17 November 2009: You are way too young to be suffering this much stress! Why do you work both weekend days? Can your sister pick up some of the slack? What about your dad?
Drinking too many caffeinated drinks is only going to drain you more, stop drinking... (read in full...)
I feel paralyzed...how can I move on?
Q. I split up with my husband 4 years ago and have been living apart since then. I have no desire to with him anymore, yet I can't bring myself to file for divorce. Everytime I think of doing it, I just feel sick and horrible inside. Yet I know I do ...
A. 17 November 2009: Maybe it's because your ex is familiar? Maybe the idea of dating someone else (starting from scratch) is scaring you so much that you don't want to cut the cord! You say you aren't in love with him any more and don't want to go back to him, but ... (read in full...)
She's engaged, so why would she care if her male friend has been in contact with me?
Q. There's this guy that my friend knows from college. He liked her during college, but she said that he isn't her type. My friend still talks to him on the phone and is trying to set me up with him. We started to e-mail back and forth, but when I told ...
A. 17 November 2009: Why would she be 'shocked and offended' if she's the one trying to set you up with this guy?! She sounds like she always wants to be the 'more desired' (it goes back to the school playground in my mind, "He likes ME better than YOU") and this is ... (read in full...)
After he's done things to hurt me, he still just blames me. How can I make this work?
Q. Hi, I am 19 and I have been in the relationship I'm in right now for almost 2yrs. I have a very big problem with my partner. I have lied to him as well as cheating. I am not proud or happy about what I did, but there is nothing I can do to change ...
A. 17 November 2009: Heard that expression, 'Once bitten, twice as shy"? After you cheated on him, major trust issues erupted (obviously!) and he's now trying to get back at you by making you feel as bad as he did when you hurt him. I honestly think that this situation ... (read in full...)
I worry that my friend is influenced negatively by her entourage! What can I do?
Q. My close friend has always been a real individual- star-wars loving, outgoing, person. She is real peppy and bubbly. Well, she's going through some kind of weird transitional phase and she's gotten real quiet and secretive. She started hanging out ...
A. 17 November 2009: I'd be concerned about deeper issues that instigated these changes in your friend! For someone who has always known their own mind, to go to being a 'sheep' can't all be about peer pressure entirely and so suddenly! She is over 21, so without a... (read in full...)
I am depressed, my mom is an alcoholic and I fear losing my b/f!
Q. Hey there, This is a pretty hard topic to talk about and I dont really know where to stsart, i guess first things first is my mom is an alcholic and i really dont know how to handle it, i turned to smoke, then quit that cuz my bf helped me stop, an...
A. 17 November 2009: Poor you, it sounds like you've been through the mill a time or two! Okay, 1. You aren't going to be able to stop your mother drinking, no matter what you do, if you hide the bottles, she'll just get more (my father is an alcoholic, so I completely ... (read in full...)
Why are him and his friends staring at me?
Q. There is this one guy from my class that stares at me in the hallway for at least three seconds. He also smiled at me a couple times or smiled in my direction. In class he will look at me but look quickly away. He used to stare at me for a minute ...
A. 17 November 2009: You say this boy is outgoing, but maybe this is just bravado and he's really quite shy too? Staring at you because he's got a thing for you but too scared to actually talk to you! (I used to have guys stare at me back in the day - though usually ... (read in full...)
Was I a hit and run or did he actually have feelings for me?
Q. last night i went to a club with my sisters.there was this guy i kinda knew he said hi to me and gave him a hug.later on he kept on passing by me and talking to me and everything he would talk his lips were two inches away from mine.then he wanted ...
A. 17 November 2009: To be honest he does sound a little bit of a player (I'll use your term!) he's obviously garnered a reputation in the club scene! I wouldn't contact him first, who wants to be another notch on someone's belt?! If he comes to you, perhaps there's ... (read in full...)
How can you go from planning to propose to not acknowledging her?
Q. Okay..I need some input/advice on my situation. My boyfriend just informed me that a female coworker of his admitted to him that she likes him as in having a crush for him...when the female coworker asked him what he thought... all he said was that...
A. 17 November 2009: Sadly some men are so oblivious to other women when they're in a committed relationship and I'd take this as a good sign! Your post is a little confusing and hard to understand, but I could suggest perhaps that maybe he wasn't really listening to ... (read in full...)
Its exhausting to try and be everything that he wants!
Q. I have a question for all of you to try and answer. I have been dating the same boy for over a year now. Things started out great and still are. But when we are in bed, I don’t feel as close as we used to be. He goes in and out of phases with wha...
A. 17 November 2009: Has he always been so changeable in bed? If this is somewhat of a recent thing, when did it change, by that I mean how far into your 1 year relationship?
I agree with Aunty Bimbim when she says not to change yourself for someone elses benefit ... (read in full...)
Is it possible for him to get those feelings back and for this relationship to work?
Q. Hi, A few days ago, my boyfriend of 7 months told me that his feelings have changed over the last few weeks because i dont trust him, and it has eventually driven him away. He was about to break up with me, but we had a long conversation, an...
A. 17 November 2009: Firstly, I'd have to ask why you felt that you couldn't trust him before? Trying again, do you think you might feel that you have reasons not to trust him? Not being able to voice your opinion (in just trying to appease him, and not scare him away) ... (read in full...)
Should I find a new job or go back to my old one where I've not showed up for a week!
Q. hi there i am new to this and i have a question about my life choices, i am 18 an im not very good at school work as you can tell of my spelling so as you can quess my GCSE's were not that good. i lov horses so i went with this collage where ...
A. 17 November 2009: You say you aren't sure if you want to go back to this job, but you really love it regardless? 3 years is a long time to invest in a job, especially on being lucky enough to find one that you enjoy!
For one thing, I know it's difficult, but it w... (read in full...)
I have become ill due to his unfounded accusations and jealousy, help me!
Q. My boyfriend looked through my phone and found a call that was a wrong number. He started to tell me that I had met with someone when he was out of town and I told him to just call the number back if he wanted. He called, threw the phone towards ...
A. 16 November 2009: I have two words for you: GET OUT...
Why are you still with this man? He sounds quite psychotic with jealousy! I don't know about you but jealousy and possessiveness make me want to run away!
Do you have a solid support system where you are? C... (read in full...)
Vaginal dryness is causing me problems...
Q. I am only 38 but I am going through menopause early. I am not going to have to take hormone replacements, because things seem to be going fairly well for me (meaning, my periods stopped about 2 years ago and I am otherwise healthy and fine. But the ...
A. 16 November 2009: Oral sex should work, spit is a natural lube! Maybe you've tried this, but you're still too dry for penetration?... (read in full...)
I've never been out with anyone before... how do I ask him out?
Q. Well, i want to ask this lad out who is also one of my best mates, i asked on here before wether i should or not and somebody advised me to, so i thought meh may aswell (lol)! anyway...the thing is, i dont really know how to do it...im really s...
A. 16 November 2009: This sort of situation is daunting for anyone, so don't think you're alone in feeling scared of rejection! It doesn't matter what age you are, just walking up to a guy you fancy and asking straight out is quite hard for most of us..
You could al... (read in full...)
Is your marriage over if there's no sexual attraction?
Q. I have been with my husband for 5 years (since i was 18) I love him very much but the last two years of our relationship I find that I'm not sexually attracted to him any more. I just can't help fantasizing about different men. I have no desire to ...
A. 16 November 2009: Why don't you think about what you can do about rekindling your sex life with your husband? Do you think it might just be the drain of life, a full time job, chores even?
Why don't you try doing little things to entice him? What about massage ... (read in full...)
Should I go (and risk being hurt) or stay well away?
Q. I'm having a problem regarding the boyfriend of my girlfriend's friend and work colleague. He is a distinctly unsavoury character and when i first went to a work do of my girlfriend's and he turned up he was nasty, rude, arrogant and racist (he ...
A. 16 November 2009: I'd probably advise you to stay away also, like the previous poster. On the other hand, if your girlfriend insists on going, I'd say go with her and don't leave her side. As it would be a work christmas party, (depending on where it is) I'd say ... (read in full...)
She loves me but she doesn't know what to do. Neither do I!
Q. Hi everyone, some of you may still remember my weird story with the girl I fell in love... Well, there is a huge update which I want to discuss.. Well, I got told the last time that she would be probably playing around with me, because she arou...
A. 16 November 2009: I'm afraid that you're fighting a losing battle there, my friend! She obviously doesn't know what she wants, and until she does, I'd advise you to steer clear of her. You don't want to be used until someone 'better' comes along! You deserve to be ... (read in full...)
He's giving me contradictory statements, how do I handle this?
Q. Hey!! Ok....so i'm really confused and need all the advice i can possibly get! Basically...theres this guy that i kinda got together with at the end of summer..but then he had to go back to wales and i'm still here in London. But..we kept it ...
A. 16 November 2009: I agree with the previous poster. Why would you voluntarily put yourself with someone who treats you this badly? Long distance is very very difficult, even if you're head over heels in love, it's hard!
Besides, you only have his word that it ... (read in full...)
My mom said I can't go to a dance, but my girlfriend is going. I don't want her grinding with other guys. Help!
Q. My mom wont let me go to a school dance this weekend because she found out i was grinding with my girlfriend at the last one. We are 15 and we have had sex so its not even that special, but she thinks its bad. My girlfriend still wants to go with ...
A. 16 November 2009: Just because you think your girlfriend is attractive is not reason to think that she'll cheat on you. How long have you been dating? I'm sorry not too sure what 'junk' is in this context! I'm taking grinding to mean just that and not anything ... (read in full...)
Why are all the ladies in contact with their exs?
Q. I split from my ex about 7 months ago and we still used to see each other as friends and when she needed help. She had a lot older man who wanted to be with her and they flirted when we were together and that destroted my confidence. In the end we ...
A. 16 November 2009: Some women keep in contact with their exes because the split was amicable, they are still friends and you shouldn't feel intimidated by this fact! If your current partner tells you these men are just friends, believe her!
In my personal opin... (read in full...)
I have slept with 44 girls can't stay attracted to any women!
Q. I have slept with 44 girls now and I can't seem to find the one. I dont want to settle for second best and I feel like the right girl hasn't come along. I am a male whore and I enjoy having sex. But I get annoyed with women quickly and little ...
A. 16 November 2009: I hate to sound harsh, but I think you need to reconnect with reality...you sound very unbending and inflexible in what you're looking for in a woman. One violation and she's toast? No wonder you can't seem to have a lasting relationship! You ... (read in full...)
Husband keeps graphic photos of his two ex wives!
Q. My husband of eight years, soon to be ex, has kept a collection of pictures and videos of the sex life he shared with his two ex wives. These are very graphic -- he describes himself as perverted -- and would qualify as hard core porn, not love ...
A. 16 November 2009: He must be joking saying that you violated your wedding vows by chucking him out! Unless your wedding vows said something like "I shall honour and obey you by watching dirty videos of previous relationships without vomiting or chucking you out" you ... (read in full...)
An unlucky guy looking to have sex, what do I do?
Q. Well, I'm 18 and I really want to have sex. "Saving it" for someone special stopped meaning something to me a bit ago, I just simply want to do it. I haven't had any luck with girls and the last girl I was seeing just flat out stopped speaking to ...
A. 16 November 2009: I hate to be harsh, but perhaps as you really want to have sex and can't seem to wait, rather than rush a potentially good relationship when you do meet a nice girl, I'd tell you to see a professional! By this I mean someone with sex as a ... (read in full...)
Christmas gift after 1 month of dating?
Q. I've been dating this guy for about a month now, what do I get him for Christmas? I know I should get him something based on his personality, hobbies, etc but I don't want to overdo it. Any general ideas or opinions on what would be a good...
A. 16 November 2009: I'd be inclined to agree with CaringGuy, not necessarily that it might be too soon to give a christmas gift, but you don't want to go overboard and scare him off either.
I had a similar problem with my boyfriend last year, we'd only started ... (read in full...)
My life is in tatters with an ex that won't move on and a new guy who isn't that interested in me. I don't know what to do!
Q. My life is in tatters at the moment. I split up with my ex in july, mutual decision but since then it's been hard to move on as he is in daily contact with me. I have told him to cut contact but he can't go a day without texting me. The other wk I...
A. 16 November 2009: God...I'm sorry but your ex sounds like stalker material! What right has he got to feel rage if you see another bloke? Do you reply to his texts? It might be worth changing your phone number, just to stop him driving you crazy! It sounds like yo... (read in full...)
My boyfriend doesn't tell me he loves me or does anything with me. Do you think he wants to be elsewhere?
Q. hi i am 21 and my boyfriend is 24 and we have 2 kids,he does not tell me that he loves me anymore and he wants to everything alone. we use to do everything together but not anymore.... well i just want to now if he wants to be with me or does he ...
A. 16 November 2009: Well Nicole, I'd say warning bells are going off reading your post...he's obviously changed towards you, has he been behaving differently towards the children? What has he been doing alone that you used to do together? You really aren't going to ... (read in full...)
Should I tell my boyfriend I feel uncomfortable with his ex girlfriend?
Q. should i tell my boyfriend i feel uncomfortable with his ex girlfriend? she was his first love and one of my ex best friends. they didnt really do anything couples did in their seven month relationship, they were both shy. she broke up with him and ...
A. 16 November 2009: He has said to you that he holds no feelings for his ex, so until you know differently, I'd believe him. All this is doing is making you miserable and making you doubt him and yourself and this is really not healthy, as I'm sure you're aware! As l... (read in full...)
He acted he cared about my pregnancy then bailed out on me
Q. My ex has 3 daughters of his own from a previous relationship. We often discussed a future together, he said he didnt want anymore children being he already had his own, but many times he said he wanted a child from me. One night he even said he ...
A. 16 November 2009: Well, to be honest, the only way you're going to get a straight answer is by asking him, and I think you know this. I can understand your frustration by him 'bailing' on you, how has he bailed on you? Is he ignoring you? Perhaps you could write ... (read in full...)
My ex is too involved with my pregnancy and my current boyfriend doesn't understand my mood swings! Help!
Q. [Moderator's Note: 2 questions from the same poster have been combined] 1. my ex boyfriend (father to my child of 2yrs) keeps asking me if i am pregnant with my current boyfriend. I cannot understand why he would be so interested, i mean he even ...
A. 16 November 2009: Your ex boyfriend being so interested in your current pregnancy tells me that he still loves you. Who broke up with whom? For what reason? Your current partner is just as stressed as you are, though without the messy mood swings! This is first ch... (read in full...)
My boyfriend said he likes me but not as much as I like him. I want to be with someone where the like is equal!, but I don't want to give up on him! What can I do?
Q. My boyfriend tells me that he likes me but not as much as I like him. I want to know how I can go about that because I am only 16 but I tend to express my thoughts and feelings a lot. It just comes with my personality. My boyfriend always mean what ...
A. 16 November 2009: I wouldn't take this as a bad thing necessarily. We all are in different degrees of 'like and 'love' and this doesn't mean we don't want to be together, just that we're moving at different speeds. If you love him and he loves you, that's all you ... (read in full...)
I love him soo much but should I let him go... and did I push him away?
Q. Hey, So I have been with the same guy for three years we started going out my sophomore year of high shcool an he was a senior. It was perfect he was the best boyfriedn and we always had fun together like we hung out all the time and surprisingly...
A. 16 November 2009: This is going to sound a bit harsh but I'm not saying it to be mean, more like a reality check...=) Your jealousy was probably a contributing factor in the breakup, telling someone who they can and can't talk to for fear of recriminations s... (read in full...)
The new guy seems suddenly distant. Did my ex say something about me?
Q. Dear Cupid I broke up with my ex back in March and we havent been on speaking terms at all for the last couple months (we decided that we cant be friends right now because it would always be more, and he had a new gf) he broke my heart but i am ove...
A. 16 November 2009: Hmm...It sounds to me like someone has said something to this guy, and he's not sure who to believe. Do you perhaps have any other friends in common between you and this new guy? If not, there aren't a lot of ways to find out what's happened without ... (read in full...)
I want to know why he dumped me and how I can get him back!
Q. This is my dilemma. Though me and my boyfriend were dating a short time I can't quite figure out WHY he dumped me n I want to know how I can get him back. This is what happened.I live in miami dade county and he lives in broward.he use t...
A. 16 November 2009: Honestly, you could speculate for hours on why you think he dumped you, and be all the more miserable for it. You'd have to ask him what has changed between you in the last few weeks, he's the only one able to give you a straight answer. If he dec... (read in full...)
I never told him that I loved him! What should I do?
Q. please give some pieces of advice.... my problem goes this way.. i am an ESL teacher for more than a year. i told myself before not to fall inlove with any of my students. but after a year i met a new student who comes from Osaka Japan, he had be...
A. 16 November 2009: How old is your ex student? I have to ask, sorry! If he's of similar age to you, and now an ex student, I'd say there would be no problem in explaining how you feel. Do you think that the attraction is one sided? Has he ever insinuated that ... (read in full...)
I'm afraid that I'm so hungry for comfort I'll jump into any relationship!
Q. Things have been very confusing for me lately, I just started University, one of my best friends abandoned our ten year friendship for a guy that she knew I liked (who I was also friends with) over the summer, my grandmother is very ill and despite ...
A. 16 November 2009: At least you recognise the difference of this relationship versus previous guy friendships! If you had had feelings of love with every guy you met, I'd say that you were hungry for comfort like you said, but you see this as different, and it could ... (read in full...)
I am a mess because my girlfriends bad dreams!
Q. hey my girlfriend was sexually abused and has nightmares about her uncle. she cuts herself sometimes and she tells me about the dreams and i cant handle it so i cut myself. i have gotten her help and i went to the police and im not asking about...
A. 16 November 2009: I have to ask a few questions before I give you advice on your problem. At what age was your girlfriend abused? Has she only recently begun to seek advice from a therapist? Something like this can take years to heal, but at least she's making a ... (read in full...)
We broke up because of his problems, do I contact him now?
Q. I am hoping that someone can help here with this problem I am having. I recently broke up with my partner last week, who has been having problems with a minor drinking problem and seeing a therapist for this and small bouts of depressi...
A. 16 November 2009: You broke up because of his problems a few weeks ago, but these aren't problems that are easily fixed. Depression can go on for years, and a minor drinking problem can esculate into a major drinking problem, but at least he's fixing that by seeing a ... (read in full...)
Young and in love with 2 boys..HELP!
Q. I am young, and not naive, so please don't baby me. But I am in a dilemma. School started just 2 months ago and I have been with my boyfriend about that long. However, my entire summer was spent single, and I really enjoyed the freedom of being able ...
A. 16 November 2009: I agree with CaringGuy.
You sound like you are definately not ready to 'settle' with one boy. You say you're in 'love' with two guys, and one is a boy you just met a little while ago and the other is someone who you've been dating 2 months? What... (read in full...)
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