A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:Dear CupidI broke up with my ex back in March and we havent been on speaking terms at all for the last couple months (we decided that we cant be friends right now because it would always be more, and he had a new gf) he broke my heart but i am over it now...I am a confident person, I can say im very attractive, have a career, and I have a fun and humble personality and have always had plenty of guys who like me and try to establish relationships but no has really interested me in a long time. I've felt like i'll be alone for ever at times since my break up... Until...couple months ago I met this guy who I really like. He asked me for my # and we have been texting back and forth --The night we met, I found out he knows my ex but ive never met him through him so i figured they cant be that close. Also if he had a big problem with that he wouldve never asked my # and to go on a date right? The new guy and I never talked about the ex, just said I dated him and that was it. I really began to have a huge crush on this new guy... but we have only been texting and only saw each other once since we met. I thought we had a cute and fun connection and an attraction...and thought maybe we were just too busy and not in place to start an actual relationship(he mentiontion he got out of a relationship not that long ago) so we've been only flirting through texts.Last few day he has been distant and kind of not giving me as much attention. Now I dont know if he feels weird that he knows my ex or if my ex said something and I just dont know why he has been acting more distant. He has ignored me since saturday and it is just not like him. He is always the first to initiate contact, and i thought if i do it will show him im interested and he only replied with closed replies and said sorry that he was busy at the moment and i havent heard from him since. I dont want to bring anything up because we are not really dating we are just getting to know each other --but i was really excited and now i dont know what his deal is. How can i find out whats going on without being psycho or questioning him why he is acting more distant? Maybe he just lost interest, but its just hard for me to believe that for some reason because we had a fun little friendship that we started to develop.. How can I find out if he heard something or was told not to talk to me, or find out the reason he is being this way without directly asking? Should i just forget about it, and obviously if he cared he would put more effort to talk to me and to see me. I was just really excited about this new guy and dont want us to stop talking:( pls give me some advice!!!
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female
reader, Another_Kapiti  +, writes (16 November 2009):
 Hmm...It sounds to me like someone has said something to this guy, and he's not sure who to believe. Do you perhaps have any other friends in common between you and this new guy? If not, there aren't a lot of ways to find out what's happened without directly contacting either your ex (to ask him if he's said anything) which I'm sure you'd rather bite your own arm off than do! Or by contacting this new guy directly...I'd probably advise you to let it go, it's not worth making yourself miserable over it for the sake of 2 dates and some texts! You'll look like the bigger person for not pressuring the guy with a million texts and if he is interested, let him come to you.You say you've had a lot of interest in you from a lot of guys, so I don't think you'll be hurting for new friends or dates in the future! Just be yourself, and take things as they come. Good luck! AK.
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