A
male
age
51-59,
*imonm
writes:I split from my ex about 7 months ago and we still used to see each other as friends and when she needed help. She had a lot older man who wanted to be with her and they flirted when we were together and that destroted my confidence. In the end we split at the end of January. I have never really got over her and finally met a new lady in May, we were great together but then I discovered she was texting other men and seeing other men as friends (she said) behind my back. This knocked me even more. I feel so low and need advice of how to get through this. I am very lonely I am having to move out of my apartment and have very few genuine friends. Is there a good way to get over this as I won't take anti-depressants
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, Another_Kapiti  +, writes (16 November 2009):
 Some women keep in contact with their exes because the split was amicable, they are still friends and you shouldn't feel intimidated by this fact! If your current partner tells you these men are just friends, believe her!
In my personal opinion, I don't see a problem texting guys who are just friends, I'd only start to be concerned if she was meeting up with and not telling you.
Why isn't she telling you that she's meeting them? Is she afraid that you'll go off the deep end in jealousy? You need to sit down with her and tell her how you feel without coming across as psychotically possessive. Perhaps you'd be more okay with the situation if you yourself had more friends?
There is no point driving yourself crazy over this, or you will end up on medication, which you've said is something you aren't willing to do. I think for now, concentrate on yourself. Do things you enjoy! Why don't you think about taking up a sport? Not only will you feel healthier and happier, you might make some new friends and also an activity that is separate from your girlfriend might make you more independant. Let me know what you think of the advice and tell me how it's going! AK.
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