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age
36-40,
anonymous
writes: My close friend has always been a real individual- star-wars loving, outgoing, person. She is real peppy and bubbly. Well, she's going through some kind of weird transitional phase and she's gotten real quiet and secretive. She started hanging out more with another group of people who have sex and do drugs. So needless to say, I'm afraid that she is going to be influenced by them. In college, she had a few friends that did stuff, but she never did anything. Now, I'm not so sure. I know I can't stop her or prevent her from engaging in any of this, but it just hurts me to see her going through this. She used to be so happy and feisty, but now she seems so lost. I guess I would be shocked to find out that she is doing this stuff, but she is over 21, so she is an adult and responsible for her own actions- even if it doesn't seem like typical behavior for her. I just don't get why she feels so compelled to follow everyone else and conform- she used to be happy being a leader as opposed to a follower. I guess things change or she wants to try something new. I know she's responsible for her life, but it hurts to just see her acting like this. I tried talking to her, but she just gets defensive and shuts me out even more. I don't know what to do anymore.
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female
reader, Another_Kapiti  +, writes (17 November 2009):
 All you can really do is be there for her if she does need to talk. Maybe invite her to come round and see you more often? Perhaps if she doesn't hang around with her 'entourage' as often she'll change back to her old positive self? Confide in her, and get the conversation rolling and maybe she'll let you in to what's happening in her life.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (17 November 2009): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionShe seems to be depressed or down on herself- she suffered a few setbacks (ie: not getting accepted into grad school and the death of 2 cats)
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A
female
reader, Another_Kapiti +, writes (17 November 2009):
I'd be concerned about deeper issues that instigated these changes in your friend! For someone who has always known their own mind, to go to being a 'sheep' can't all be about peer pressure entirely and so suddenly! She is over 21, so without alienating her there isn't much you can do if she doesn't want to talk about it..have you talked to other mutual friends? Maybe someone a bit further away can shed some light on her sudden personality change?
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