Am I right to have these trust issues?
Q. A few weeks ago, my boyfriend went to his local pub, and he saw a married woman that he knew that day. I wasn't there at the time. She asked him to help her pick songs on the jukebox and then he said he danced with her. He said it wasn't intimate ...
A. 20 October 2016: Whaaaaaaaaaaaaat? Seriously?
So, in your world, if you are married you should never dance with anyone else again? Even if their spouse is there and has no problem with it? Even if it is "twirling"?
He told you he "managed to get away" which ... (read in full...)
These are the facts. Is it the end?
Q. HELP! My decision to end a relationship depends largely on your advice. What would you do if you found out your boyfriend went to a medical appointment in the city and then visited a hotel before going home? And he did not tell you he was a...
A. 20 October 2016: Are you the same person who posted a while ago, asking if it was possible for someone to be in a store for an hour and a half and not purchase anything? And you actually checked out with the staff in the store whether your boyfriend had been there ... (read in full...)
I am threatened because sometimes she masturbates
Q. i am married and my wife recently told me that she would masturbate from the time of her ex-lover to the time when she had our first kid. What should i do? Should i leave her because she is not that into me?...
A. 20 October 2016: Seriously? You would leave your wife and child/children because your wife admitted to doing something which most people do and which is absolutely no threat to you or your relationship?
This is the 21st century, my friend. Women are allowed ... (read in full...)
Why are more men dependent on women's support these days? Women is the child bearer, care giver, career holder, and now the financial supporter to men? What roles do men play then?
Q. First and foremost, no offence to the men in this room. I'm posting this question because I am really curious to know the answer. Why are more men dependent on women's support now a days than men taking care of their women? I've often read posts...
A. 20 October 2016: Well, I have to say, my own experience is very different to yours. Most of my friends' relationships tend towards a 50/50 split (apart from the child bearing of course). Every relationship is different in how people choose to split finances and ... (read in full...)
If I get back together with my ex, should I tell him about the people I have slept with while we were broken up?
Q. Hi there! So I was in a 4 and a half year relationship with an amazing guy. We broke up due to living in different places, arguing when we saw each other, and as I was in my final year at University, had way too much going on for all the arguing....
A. 20 October 2016: The fact you are asking this question means you have already considered it. Why would you want to tell him?
In your shoes, IF he asks (which he may but doesn't necessarily mean he wants to know the whole truth), I would brush it off by saying "... (read in full...)
My partner doesn't contribute financially towards the household. How much longer should I wait for things to change?
Q. Hi my partner of three years lives with me and is always struggling financially due to being a contract worker with intermittent income who also has to pay maintenence for his child with ex wife. Often he contributes little or nothing as he first ...
A. 19 October 2016: Ooh dear, he seems to have his priorities a little wrong. He can afford a golfing holiday but not to put food on the table? One question: why have YOU allowed this to go on for a year? There is no way he has NOTHING left after paying maintenan... (read in full...)
I told him that I thought his kids were sabotaging our relationship and now he won't talk to me
Q. Hi, I'd been dating this guy for 3months. At first we would go on dates about 3 times a week, then it cut down to once or twice a week and thereafter we'd only get to seeing each other once a month. I thought his kids had something to do with this ...
A. 19 October 2016: And he probably won't reply. Ever.
Sweetheart, painful as it is, you have to face up to the distinct possibility that this man is just not interested in you any longer. He is just not man enough to tell you it is over. All this baloney about hi... (read in full...)
He's disinterested. Finding it hard to give up on my boyfriend and move on. What should I do ?
Q. i dont know if i am in a relationship or what? Have been in a relationship with my boyfriend since March 2012 till now. Everything was well and nice suddenly he changed...he no longer calls,the comunication is down..down...its just bo...
A. 19 October 2016: He just doesn't have the manners and backbone to tell you your relationship is over. Instead he is taking the cowardly way out and just ignoring you. This is not a nice man.
Hold your head high and walk away with pride. You deserve better t... (read in full...)
Should I distance myself from my Bf AND my Mother? Was this abusive behaviour by my boyfriend, or not?.
Q. Was this abusive behaviour by my boyfriend, or not?. I have had an on/off relationship with my boyfriend for a year. Yesterday, I was out with him and I called my mum to pick me up. I got upset because my mum started shouting at me on the phone. ...
A. 19 October 2016: I read this and found myself mentally rolling my eyes and thinking "teenagers, honestly!". Only afterwards did I notice your age. Why is any of this your mother's fault? All she has done is come running after you every time you have a row with ... (read in full...)
I'm very close to my aunt, but recent incidents with my dog have caused upset and seem to have affected our relationship!
Q. This is a family related problem, but I hope you can give me good advice or support. I have been close to my aunt, I almost grew up in her house and she has been at my side for many years. I have been supporting of her too, when I could. I had to ...
A. 19 October 2016: I think there is more going on here than a couple of little "accidents". Moving is very stressful, even when it is something you want to do. Did your aunt WANT to move or did she HAVE to move? Is it that she is just so stressed with everything that ... (read in full...)
He blanked me for weeks then blows up because I was with some one else?
Q. I was texting / meeting a guy (let's call him Fred, this isn't his name) and was seeing each other for about 9weeks.. Then for some reason he stopped talking to me. He said he had family issues and personal problems and can't give me what I want, he ...
A. 19 October 2016: WHY do you want to be with this strange insecure vicious man who calls you names?
Do you not think you deserve better, i.e. to be treated with respect and consistency? If not, then the problem lies with YOU and how you see yourself.
You sho... (read in full...)
The girl I'm seeing has a girlfriend?
Q. Okay where do I begin... I recently met this girl about 1 month ago she is very kind, beautiful and has feelings for me, she says she eventually wants to be more than friends and that she likes me. I looked her up on fb, being a former cop and ...
A. 19 October 2016: The "reason" which sprang to mind (and which could be totally wrong but was just what I thought of first) is that she is keeping you in the background as a potential sperm donor. As I said, could be completely wrong but it was my first thought.
... (read in full...)
I saw her first!
Q. I'm so pathetic. Here's why. No better place to begin from, well, the beginning, so I'll start there. I've lived in the same town all my life. For the sake of anonymity, we'll call it Hopetown. (Try and stalk me if you want to, that's not the real...
A. 18 October 2016: She was comfortable with everything up to the kiss because she could have shared that level of intimacy with any of her friends. The kiss crossed the line - for her. Not saying it was right or wrong - just that it was more than she expected from ... (read in full...)
Is there a code to rings on her finger?
Q. What is the meaning of rings on a woman’s hand. Does a ring on the right ring finger show a signal single status for a woman? Does a ring on the right ring finger of a woman show an openness to pursuing a romantic relationship? if a girl does not ...
A. 18 October 2016: Not sure there is a "code" as such but, for what it's worth, I wear my deceased mother's wedding rings on my right ring finger as (a) they fit well there and (b) they are not MY wedding rings so I would not wear them on my left ring finger.
... (read in full...)
Did my letter to him mean I've lost him for good?
Q. This guy I been talk to for years I broke of with him he never would ask me out it's been over 3yrs and never ask me he always come up with excuse not go out with me I see him about veryday when he goes by me and I he see me stand their when h...
A. 18 October 2016: You can't lost something you never had.
This man is probably just afraid to tell you to leave him alone, so he tries to do it in "kind" ways - e.g. pretending he is married.
Leave him alone. Find someone who is interested. This is not the ... (read in full...)
Do you think it's unreasonable for a husband to request that his wife not kiss mutual male friends hello and goodbye on the lips?
Q. Do you think it's unreasonable for a husband to request that his wife not kiss mutual male friends hello and goodbye on the lips? We only have one male friend who does this. He does it to other wives as well. He had been a mutual friend for 10 ye...
A. 18 October 2016: My bosses (married) and I always kiss on the lips in a social situation. It is just something which has happened over the years and, as we have worked together for a long time, we are quite close. It does not mean there is anything "going on". My ... (read in full...)
Slow progress with this guy I like
Q. Why do I get asked out by guys who are married or who are similar to the losers who made my life miserable before. I am a 53 year old woman with grown children and one still at home. Never been married. I am very independent with my own houses. ...
A. 16 October 2016: Yes. Be patient, hang in there and DON'T LOWER YOUR STANDARDS for anyone.
If only the world had more people like you who were not prepared to settle for whatever they could get.
You go, girl!... (read in full...)
Is it OK to have feelings for a second cousin?
Q. Okay, so I'm at the age of 19 and I have found myself falling for my family member named Rachel. She is not far behind me in age, in fact, less than a year younger. We both attend the same church, a Pentecostal church and she happens to be my second ...
A. 16 October 2016: You have a crush, pure and simple. It doesn't matter that it has gone on for over a year. You haven't even asked this girl out on a date, yet you are already fantasizing about a life together. That is a crush, although I do not say this to take away ... (read in full...)
Swears she isn't cheating but...
Q. So I have been with this girl for a year and a half, and I actually moved into her house with her parents. We met through online gaming actually and lived close enough to where we decided to get together and inevitably move in. So the first few ...
A. 16 October 2016: I read this post with mouth open. What a cheek, treating your girlfriend as you do yet demanding loyalty and openness from her. You deny her sex or attention (in her eyes this equates to love) yet kick off because you think she is seeing someone e... (read in full...)
Gossipy workmates driving me mad
Q. How can I avoid my gossip-fueled coworkers. every day at work feels like a drama and it feels like high school. I work with three women and one guy who I have to exchange information in a daily basis and have lunch with. In the begining I started ...
A. 16 October 2016: You can't control what people do or say, but you can learn to control how you react to it and feel about it.
Do you really think they mean everything they say in a nasty way? I know their "advice" is unsolicited and unwanted, but I am sure the... (read in full...)
Demands sex but computer gets first call
Q. Hello! My husband and I have been in a disagreement lately. he plays games on his computer all evening and then waits until after 10pm when I want to go to sleep to come to bed and ask for sex. I have told him multiple times that if he would come to ...
A. 16 October 2016: Well, you couldn't have laid it out in any simpler terms for him. It is HIS choice at the end of the day whether he chooses to play games or have sex with you.
I think you have been more than reasonable. He is the one being selfish and rigid. ... (read in full...)
My friend is accusing me of being a shitty friend because I like the guy she was cheating on her boyfriend with!
Q. This is a very complex situation, so please bare with me as this story might be a little long-winded. In August, my friend Leslie started hanging out with this guy, Ian, she met through Tinder. They were talking to each other off-and-on for n...
A. 16 October 2016: Wow, the woman who was cheating on her boyfriend has now suddenly discovered a moral code because SHE feels hurt? You couldn't make it up! What a hypocrite.
She has no claim whatsoever on Ian. Even if she had been in a proper relation... (read in full...)
How could he have issues with my weight and yet have such mind blowing sex with me?
Q. I'm looking for some perspective on a recent situation I experienced that has left me a bit confused. I dated a guy for about 5-6 months. During the entire relationship, we got alone EXCEEDINGLY well. I have never dated anyone as attentive or ten...
A. 16 October 2016: I suspect this is one mixed-up guy. To answer one of your questions: no, it is NOT normal to be so intensely into someone who you find "off putting" in some way. At least it isn't for a healthy individual.
I wonder if someone has said somethin... (read in full...)
Should I give up on my ex/ maybe boyfriend and go on the date? Does that make me a cheater?Or should I work things out with him?
Q. I am unsure of how to proceed. My ex (I guess) broke up with me back in September because I waned him to spend more time doing things with me because all he did was play video games. I wanted to go out and do things. After a lot of fighting h...
A. 16 October 2016: A question: what do you and this guy have in common? I cannot see any sign of anything. He may be a "sweet guy" but that is not enough to sustain a relationship long term. I think you have answered your own question really in this: "I tol... (read in full...)
What do younger guys see in older women?
Q. Older woman, younger man... I am in my mid 40s. I met this guy 3 years ago when i was travelling in South East Asia. We flirted during one tour, and ended up having sex in his hotel later that day. He was really sweet and caring in bed, and then was...
A. 15 October 2016: It's not all about looking young though. He obviously prefers you to younger women (although there is no saying he does not have a similar arrangement with a younger woman or three while you are not around).
Older women know what they want in ... (read in full...)
Is he living out a porn fantasy?
Q. I'm recently divorced. My ex-husband was my first and only partner until now. Our sex life was always kind of vanilla to tell the truth and his sexual drive was never equal to mine. Anyway, I'm dating a younger man (he's 27). We just started having ...
A. 15 October 2016: Guys' sexual responses are much more geared to visual things than women's. They like to SEE the evidence of their masculinity, while women prefer to FEEL things.
If you don't like him doing this but he does like it, perhaps suggest compromi... (read in full...)
I need help making decisions to benefit my children and shape my future
Q. Hi all, I am from India. I got married to a rich and educated girl. Initially, she was good and our relationship went well. After our first baby (son) she refused for sex. Her mother asked her to go for second baby. So she compelled me for the ...
A. 15 October 2016: Has your wife said she is definitely not coming back? It sounds from your post like the breakup is final but what does your wife say? Why does she not want to come back? Why is she asking for property to be transferred into her name?
I know you... (read in full...)
I still love him, will breaking up teach him a lesson?
Q. I just broke up with my boyfriend of almost one year. I am 23 years old and he is 28. When we met he told me that I am the one and quickly introduced me to his family and he met mine. The problem in my situation is that I come from a culture wh...
A. 15 October 2016: You sound exhausted and, quite understandably, as if you have reached a "make or break" crossroads in your relationship.
I think you need to be prepared for him NOT coming back. However, this will not be any worse than you living with the uncertai... (read in full...)
I am worried about my the narcissist my sister is dating!
Q. He had an affair with my sister and he left his wife of nearly 30 years. His wife says he is very narcissistic and will destroy and cheat on her eventually!? Is she right. I can't see it he is very loving and careing towards my sister and teats her ...
A. 15 October 2016: I always listen carefully to any allegations from previous partners as, invariably, while they may have their roots in bitterness, there are always at least some elements of truth in them.
Sadly, the way he is acting towards his wife will be exact... (read in full...)
Should I go back to hanging out with my old friends!
Q. My old friends who brought the worst out in me want to hang out again - they are insecure high maintenance girls that tear each other down and celebrate at the club every weekend and drink champagne. Since turning 30 I stopped - I realized that I ...
A. 15 October 2016: Congratulations! You are growing up and realizing being on your own is not worse than being with the wrong people.
Instead of waiting for people to find you, why not take the bull by the horns and actively PICK the people you want to be friends ... (read in full...)
I can't approach him andask if he wants me as bad as I want him...
Q. Hi agony aunts. I feel like I'm getting mixed signals from this guy and i dont know what to think or do. I'll list the things he does just to make it clearer: -always really flirtatious, compliments me etc -genuinely laughs when we talk, like not o...
A. 15 October 2016: You don't say but I am guessing this guy is a bit older than you. He sounds like he knows exactly how to play the flirtation game to get you hooked, which of course he has succeeded in doing.
Tread carefully. He sounds like an experienced player.... (read in full...)
I've never been catcalled and don't know how to feel about this!
Q. Hello, I am a cute (ish) woman of 29, and I have an awesome boyfriend loving and sexy and caring etc etc. I'm not unattractive, I promise. I'd give myself a solid 7.5 out of 10. Not overweight or acne scarred, and described by friends as petite w...
A. 15 October 2016: Trust me, sweetheart, the sort of men who usually catcall are NOT the type of men you would WANT catcalling you! They are usually uncouth sexist louts who just look at women as sex objects. You are probably too classy for these yobs. Despite y... (read in full...)
How can I get over being mistreated?
Q. Earlier this year I was in a short term relationship a couple of months when I met this guy through friends of mine. Within two weeks the man asked me to be Ina relationship and even though we were both sexually attracted to each other - I didn't ...
A. 14 October 2016: You do it one minute at a time, then one hour at a time, then one day at a time. Before you know it, you will have conditioned yourself into not checking on him.
He is not worth your time. Keep telling yourself your time is too precious to waste... (read in full...)
Do I ask how my former student is doing? I don't want to overstep any boundaries!
Q. Thank you in advance for all that take the time to give their advice. Not a relationship question however I really would like some opinions. Last year I worked briefly with a student during their last year at school. That same student lived directly ...
A. 14 October 2016: I think it is a lovely idea to make contact. Showing a friendly interest is not "overstepping the boundaries". I am sure he will be pleased to see you.
I do hope he makes a full recovery. ... (read in full...)
Our wish to adopt a child has provoked some negative reactions, how do we deal with them?
Q. My husband and I have decided to adopt. I was surprised by the negative reaction of some of our friends! I was prepared for the usual fears and prejudices (it's not your flesh and blood, you can never love him the way you would your own etc.) b...
A. 14 October 2016: If only there were more people like you and your husband who actually made adoption a FIRST choice. There are so many children in need that, while I can understand people wanting their own flesh and bloody, adoption is such a wonderful thing to ... (read in full...)
Why would my friend lie and say he didn't know my girlfriend?
Q. Andre [32,M] has been my best friend for almost 15 years, we lived together at Arizona, we live together now(only temporarily though). The reason I say temporarily because I have been dating this girl [31,F] for a year now, and we have been tal...
A. 14 October 2016: She obviously wrong-footed him when she suddenly appeared in his life again. Maybe it is now difficult for him to admit he lied about not knowing her, so he has to keep up the pretence?
If she dumped him because, in her view, his prospect... (read in full...)
Am I wrong for feeling that I'm not getting enough sex? I am frequently jealous of people who have sex
Q. I lost my virginity at 22 and have been a late bloomer but enjoy sex a lot. I am very selective too. But I feel like I am not getting enough sex? I am picky and have had few relationships, just a few lovers but that fizzled out because we weren...
A. 14 October 2016: Just a little P.S.
I went out with a guy once who could "perform" 10 times a day/night. I swear. I counted!
Do you know what? It was the worst sex I have ever had. It was frantic "jack rabbit" sex. I got very little from it in terms of plea... (read in full...)
Is it bro 'code?
Q. I recently moved to a new area, and I've met a lot of people in the time I've been here. At the very beginning I was swept off my feet by a guy, but ultimately it was just a fling. While that "relationship" was fading, I met a man who happens to ...
A. 14 October 2016: Blimey, a whole day? He couldn't possibly be busy, or away, or thinking what to respond?
Given the speed at which you appear to live your life, is it possible your text came across as a bit desperate and over-keen?
Just chill. I am assu... (read in full...)
Am I wrong for feeling that I'm not getting enough sex? I am frequently jealous of people who have sex
Q. I lost my virginity at 22 and have been a late bloomer but enjoy sex a lot. I am very selective too. But I feel like I am not getting enough sex? I am picky and have had few relationships, just a few lovers but that fizzled out because we weren...
A. 14 October 2016: Why not distract yourself by concentrating on losing the weight you have recently put on and getting fit? This will not only make you feel better about yourself in general but will also ease your feelings of sadness as exercise releases "happy ... (read in full...)
Should I pursue my options or wait it out until I wouldn't feel guilty?
Q. I just broke up with my long distance boyfriend of 3 years. We are seniors in college and heading in different directions. I still love him but I just think if we continue to ignore issues and try to force it to work, we will get even more hurt in ...
A. 14 October 2016: What's your rush? Why not just chill, enjoy being single and see who comes along who catches your eye? Don't plan anything. Just go with the flow.
It is normal for relationships started so early in life to falter as you both mature and want dif... (read in full...)
My boyfriend has a very inappropriate colleague who I'm extremely uncomfortable with; he says he'll avoid her but doesn't match his words
Q. My fiancé works with this girl who I accepted as a friend of ours and as part of our group. He had told me that she had displayed scandalous behaviours in the past (had tried to sleep with him while he had a girlfriend and told him she would never ...
A. 14 October 2016: I was reading your post and thinking "this sounds just like a work colleague of mine". She marched up to a guy at work, while his girlfriend was standing next to him, and told him "I want to screw the a*** off you"!!!!!! Now she tries to make out ... (read in full...)
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