Can people tell when they're "the mutton dressed as the lamb"?
Q. Just in case people are not familiar with the term “mutton dressed as lamb" - it refers to older people who try to appear younger (and usually fail dismally). And it's most often applied to women who wear clothes that are aimed at a much younger ...
A. 10 September 2016:
"Mutton dressed as lamb" is obviously aimed to insult, so your friends will not use this if they are real friends. Only people who want to insult you will use it.
Problem is, these people are often more honest than your friends (at least to you... (read in full...)
He's so ready to give up on our affair. What should I do? He's married, and he's unjustly accused me of being unfaithful
Q. Hello everyone I need advice on something I've Been messing around with this married man for about 2 years. I haven't spoken to this man in 3 weeks over the labor day weekend I believe he seen me talking to another man an now he is acussing me o...
A. 10 September 2016: Why do you think you are not worthy of any better than the scraps of time and attention this man has given you? You ARE worth more.
Hold your head high and walk away. Don't demean yourself waiting for him.
Find someone who is free to love you... (read in full...)
Do I drop these friends or just renegotiate my friendship with them?
Q. Now I'm 30 I realised I'm surrounded by people who push their own needs. Example 1 the friend who is unable to have fun if it doesn't involve alcohol and drugs, he has an infinite appetite to take drugs and alcohol and looks a state when he does. He ...
A. 10 September 2016: The alcoholic drug addict is just that: an addict. He will only see things from his own perspective and will not like it if you try to stop him indulging in his addictions. To be perfectly frank, I would drop him completely, otherwise you will get ... (read in full...)
How do I meet bisexual people?
Q. So I've recently decided to explore my fantasies about being with another man. I discovered I enjoy being with a man sexually but still prefer to have relationships with women. I have very little experience as a bi sexual and would like advice on ...
A. 9 September 2016: Why do you want to meet other bisexual people? Are you planning on running at least 2 relationships simultaneously? Sounds to me like you want a convenient excuse for cheating. ... (read in full...)
Is she insecure controlling or both?! What do I do!!
Q. My girl friend doesn't know how to relax, everything bothers her. My friends claim she cries way to much and her friends claims she's bossy. I've stopped doing many things because she claims she doent like them and now I cannot respond to her claims ...
A. 9 September 2016: You are feeding her paranoia and insecurity by not doing things she doesn't like. While you should take her feelings into consideration, you should also be true to yourself. How much effort does she put into changing? You seem to be the one making ... (read in full...)
My Cheating Girlfriend.... What do I do?
Q. So here it. As I write this my girlfriend is at 35,000ft with the guy she has been cheating on me with on their way to Tenerife. I had been with my girlfriend for almost 7 years. For a couple of months now I had suspected she was cheating a...
A. 7 September 2016: Sending you a big HUG as I can hear how much you are hurting. Been there, done that, got the t-shirt. It hurts like hell. And sadly nobody can say or do anything which is going to make it any better. Not read the other replies as I am just dashin... (read in full...)
What can I do? She can't bring herself to believe me, nor let it go.
Q. The relationship between me and my girlfriend of a little over a year has been pretty rough lately. We recently took a break that was originally supposed to be a month. It ended up only being a week. Anyway, during the break I bought some condoms,...
A. 7 September 2016: Can't really add anything to what has already been said, most of which I totally agree with. Just a couple of little things though. In your girlfriend's position I would find it totally insulting that you rushed out and bought condoms so quick... (read in full...)
How do I approach getting her number or asking her out?
Q. all of my relationships have come from being around someone for a while before asking them out. such as school, work, gym. how do you go about asking a girl out that may not know you that well? there is a girl who i see maybe every other week...
A. 7 September 2016: Ha ha, Tisha-1 has it spot on! Brilliant answers.
Keep it light and jokey so that there is no embarrassment if she is not in a position to go out with you.
Good luck. Hope she accepts.
... (read in full...)
Did my boyfriend get horny watching women play golf or was he horny because of ME?
Q. My boyfriend watched a women's golf tournament today. He is business friends with an organizer and got a free ticket so he went as his friend's guest. I was supposed to see my boyfriend last night but he had to work. I told him I was horny and ho...
A. 5 September 2016: Does it really matter where he gets his appetite, as long as he eats at home? ... (read in full...)
How the people around us influence our emotional growth
Q. How important is who you surround yourself with? I firmly have always been influenced by who my friends are and who is around me. I obviously hold on to the friends that matter and I continue to connect with. But is keep friends who you had prev...
A. 5 September 2016: But who decides who is "better" than someone else? And "better" in what way?
I have to admit to becoming more picky about my friends as I have aged. I no longer waste time on people who don't add anything positive to my life in some way. I aim fo... (read in full...)
Has this instant connection got a future?
Q. Several years ago I started dog-sitting for a couple, grew close to their dogs, and eventually them. I have since been through the death of one of the dogs, and the adoption of another. More importantly, I have become rather close to the husba...
A. 3 September 2016: I say bite the bullet and ask her out for a coffee. If she turns you down, then you have your answer. If not . . . well, just see where it goes.
You have NOTHING to lose.
... (read in full...)
Pregnancy dilemma
Q. Okay let's see so I dated this guy for about 6 months and we broke up 3 weeks ago due to the fact that he didn't trust me and always thought I was cheating on him and it just put a huge strain on our relationship so we ended it. Two days ago I went ...
A. 3 September 2016: Never mind your ex. Your first priority is to yourself and the baby you are currently carrying. Your relationship with your ex sounds a non-starter. Trust me, he will not improve just because there is a baby involved.
You need to decide whether ... (read in full...)
He has photos of other women on his phone. He forbids me to do some things. Surely he is cheating?
Q. my husband always speak of his past with his ex,s. Holidays, food,ext. And recently i found a photo of a girl hidden in a bible. With love letter cards. He is always on his phone. Dont say who it was. In the past i found out he was chattin...
A. 2 September 2016: I think whether he is cheating or not is the least of your worries. How do you feel about him controlling everything you do? What hold does he have over you that you just allow him to tell you how you should act and what you should do? This is not a ... (read in full...)
He's married. Wondering why he acted like that? Was he testing me, or was he seeing me as a potential client?
Q. Hi, I just wanted to hear others opinion about this scenario. I'm single mom, professional and attractive as others say. I am not dating and not interested in dating even after 3 years of my divorce. I always get attention and I don't care about...
A. 2 September 2016: All sounds very strange. I bet you he will NOT introduce you to his family though, ha ha.
I suspect he is very much married still (as do you, I think). The wife is probably very much still in the picture and the "living apart" story was to try t... (read in full...)
Ex and I are getting back but how can I get him to forget that I was talking to other guys while we were broken up?
Q. My ex and I are getting back together after being 2 months apart. I am so happy and have always been in love with him, and he feels the same way. Unfortunately, though he can't seem to forget the time we broke up and I started talking to other dudes ...
A. 2 September 2016: What Honeypie says, especially the last bit. What either of you did while you were apart has absolutely nothing to do with the other one. It is what happens while you are together that counts.
... (read in full...)
My Zumba instructor boyfriend was joking with a participant to stop looking at his butt! Did he cross a line?
Q. My boyfriend is a Zumba instructor. Classes are all women. The other day in his class he told a participant jokingly to stop looking at his butt. He said this was harmless flirting. Part of the job. Hmmmm. I am not so sure about that. ...
A. 2 September 2016: I think if you carry on giving him such a hard time about such silly little things, you will end up losing him to someone who is not as uptight. Give the guy a break. It is YOU he is going out with. The others can look but not touch. ... (read in full...)
What compels him to still be asking about me considering we broke up so long ago?
Q. I'm just wondering what compels an ex-boyfriend to ask an immediate family member "how you are" almost 16 years after you broke up? I am led to believe that said ex asked specifically about me, and his current partner was present when he asked. ...
A. 28 August 2016: I have many ex boyfriends, most of whom I care not a jot about. However, if I bumped into friends or family of theirs, I would probably, out of politeness, ask how they were. Wouldn't "mean" anything. Just polite conversation because that is the ... (read in full...)
My boyfriend was supposed to accompany me to the health centre, but we had an argument beforehand and I had to go alone. Was he being selfish?
Q. Do you think this was selfish?. My boyfriend and I have been having problems for a while. Lately, his phone has been switched off more, or I have called his phone, and he hasn't answered. He agreed to meet me at my home on Friday to go to a health ...
A. 28 August 2016: Sod him. Your first priority has to be you. You need to go and see a doctor. Do you have a friend or relative or neighbour who could go with you if it is so hard for you to go on your own? If not, phone the doctor's surgery and explain your problem ... (read in full...)
I want to have sex without a condom but I'm not taking birth control pills. Will emergency contraceptive pills after sex work just as well to prevent pregnancy?
Q. This is a contraceptive related question. I wanna have sex without a condom, i'm also ovulating and i'm currently not on the pills. If i use plan B pills after sex can it be equally effective ? Or will there be a chance of unwanted pregnancy....
A. 28 August 2016: I am assuming here your partner is putting pressure on you to do this. If that is the case, trust me sweetheart, he does not care for YOU, just for his own pleasure.
You are worth more than this.
... (read in full...)
Would this be a good way to lose my virginity? How would I ask?
Q. Is this a good way to lose my viginity? My friends gave me advice for this: have him go down on me until i orgasm, and then we have sex and he gets off and I possibly get off more. I love the idea, but I've never had a guy go down on me either. ...
A. 28 August 2016: Blimey! Not sure who the anonymous female is but not EVERYONE's first time experience is as painful as she is trying to scare you into believing! Yes, it can be a bit uncomfortable, especially if you are not turned on enough, or your partner is too ... (read in full...)
I want to feel loved and wanted. what hope is there when he's so critical and gives me the "silent treatment"?
Q. My partner of 4 years has started not talking to me for days on end if we argue no matter how petty it is. He tells me daily he doesn't trust me, if anyone smiles or is nice to me he says it's because I have looked at them and this is disrespe...
A. 28 August 2016: Oh sweetheart. I really feel for you. You and your children deserve so much better than this abusive low life. You probably don't see that at the moment because (a) you are hanging on to the person he was during the honeymoon period of your ... (read in full...)
Would this be a good way to lose my virginity? How would I ask?
Q. Is this a good way to lose my viginity? My friends gave me advice for this: have him go down on me until i orgasm, and then we have sex and he gets off and I possibly get off more. I love the idea, but I've never had a guy go down on me either. ...
A. 27 August 2016: I am puzzled. Is this a specific (male) friend suggesting this, or are your friends saying this is the best way to lose your virginity with some generic male?
... (read in full...)
Nice girl/ compliments/ kinda hard to understand/ help?
Q. Hey everybody! How is it going? I need your guys help on this thing, I've never had a longboard relationship, but i blame it on me, I never had patience to put up with relationship issues and never looked for it. Although, I also never had proble...
A. 27 August 2016: What on earth do you mean by "when I tried to make my first move"? What did you do to scare her off?
Why don't you just treat this girl as a friend and see where things go from there? Spend time with her as a friend and you should be able to suss ... (read in full...)
Is it still my fault that she ghosted me for being a nice guy?
Q. So some time ago, around eight months ago, i was ghosted by a woman i treated with kindest, but a lot of you put me down saying i deserved what i got, so i found out some things about her i didn't know about. One thing she told me she has only bee...
A. 27 August 2016: Stalking someone after they have finished with you is not the sign of a "nice" guy. It is creepy and definitely NOT nice.... (read in full...)
Am I aroused by women because of bad relationships with men?
Q. I have spent all my life dating for the wrong reasons and the wrong people. After realizing most of my mistakes, I decided to stay single till I find the right person or feel right at least. I started dating at almost age 18, had only 2 to 3 rela...
A. 20 August 2016: Most people (allegedly) have the ability to connect with males or females on a sexual level. I think, more important than focusing on the gender of the person, you need to focus on the person themselves (regardless of gender) and go for someone you ... (read in full...)
I'm only turned on by blowjobs!
Q. Hi there. I'm a heterosexual man, but I've been stuck with this since I started to feel sexual needs. What I have is pretty weird: I'm attracted to girls, but the only sexual activity I'm interested in are blowjobs. I don't like women vaginas, I...
A. 20 August 2016: Would a blow job from a male be as appealing as from a female? Perhaps you are just not into women - because woman have vaginas, whether you like it or not. My guess would be you have watched a lot of porn and have a very fixed idea of what you... (read in full...)
My girlfriend's former in laws paint a rosy picture of her abusive ex
Q. Three years ago I met and fell in love with "Kate" she was in a very abusive relationship and my friend and I helped her get out of it. I honesty believe if she hadnt left when she did he would have killed her. Last year he committed suicide while ...
A. 20 August 2016: Sounds like they are looking for someone to blame for the way their son turned out. Don't forget, they lost a son. Regardless of what a horrible piece of work he turned out to be, he was still their son and they will still be mourning his loss. They ... (read in full...)
There is somethig fake about my sister's new boyfriend
Q. I find my sister's new bf weird, but I keep my mouth shut and mind my own business. Is it the right thing to do? She's almost 40 and is absolutely terrified of loneliness. A part from one year-long relationship she's had a few encounters and m...
A. 20 August 2016: Like you, I would have all sorts of alarm bells ringing if someone I knew was dating this guy. However, she is an adult and needs to make her own decisions (and mistakes, if that is what this turns out to be. I would encourage her to bring him... (read in full...)
Despite all the positive changes, I still don't trust him
Q. My boyfriend has admitted to cheating on me in the past, and as a result we broke up for nearly a year. As we share a son, we did have to speak to each other and see each other regularly. As a dad I can not fault him, but as a boyfriend, in our ...
A. 20 August 2016: He is a very different person now to what he was as a 17 year old child (let's he honest), when he suddenly found himself in the role he was not prepared for and had not planned for. Big respect to him for stepping up and taking his parenting re... (read in full...)
My first love and I have reconnected after 30 years
Q. I linked with my ex over a year ago, my first love. We have know each other for 30 years. I have a family. He is single with no ties. We have been on dates and slept together a few times but kept it light. It was his birthday a few weeks ago...
A. 20 August 2016: Had to smile. You have just really reiterated everything you put in your post a couple of weeks ago, except that now you have suddenly become aware he is dating other women. Also had to smile that you say you don't want to be his FWB but that see... (read in full...)
Met him on a dating app, he's perfect but I'm too self-conscious to meet him!
Q. Long story so I'll try to shorten it as much as possible. So I matched with this guy on tinder 10 months ago. We messaged for 18 hours non stop, slept for 3 then started again. It was an incredible instant connection. If I could describe my perf...
A. 18 August 2016: If you don't at least try, you will spend the rest of your life thinking "what if". PLEASE don't do that.
Explain to him about your shyness (I think THAT is your major problem, not the weight gain). Then tell him about the weight gain.
If the ... (read in full...)
What is he trying to say? Says he has to ''stay away'' from me. He called me ''the devil''. Asked me if I still love him.
Q. my ex stopped by to see me before i left for a 6 month business trip, he's been very distant from me for the past month and a half. he gives me a hug and holds me tight, he asked me if i missed him and i said no, then we started kissing and he told ...
A. 17 August 2016: He's a user. Don't fall for his patter. Next time mean it when you say NO and walk away. ... (read in full...)
I can't think of any solutions to get him to move out. Help?
Q. Hi. My boyfriend moved in with me 8 months ago as he was retrenched. Fortunately he now has a new job but the spell of unemployment hit him hard financially and he is still struggling to make ends meet. He also has a child with ex girlfriend. Our ...
A. 17 August 2016: You need to get tough and give him a time limit to get out of your house. He WILL find a way, trust me. He will have to live with family or friends or a bed sit, or even find some other girlfriend who will allow him to move in - but whatever he ... (read in full...)
Being introvert is hampering my love life
Q. Hello all, I need your help with a crisis I'm going through. I am an extremely reserved person and tend to be myself most of the time. I like it this way. It's always been like this since I was a kid. However, as an adult there are situations w...
A. 15 August 2016: Stop seeing women as potential conquests/partners and see them as human beings and potential friends, no different to men you might meet. After making friends with them, moving onto the next step will be so much easier than going there from nothing.... (read in full...)
How can I combat these rumours?
Q. Recently a male friend of mine became my worst enemy when I turned down his proposal. Now he is spreading false rumours of the kind that I was in love with him. What shall I do?...
A. 15 August 2016: If anyone brings it up, say (laughing), "Well, if you heard it, it must be true!" and roll your eyes. Then don't give the subject importance by discussing it further. Take the conversation elsewhere.
He is a sad pathetic individual. I would al... (read in full...)
Sure ''anything'' could happen. But is he being genuine ? Are his words genuine? Or is he giving me false hope?
Q. My ex and I broke up a few months ago when he told me he didnt know if he loved me anymore. Things are amicable so we're remaining friends. However, whenever i bring up my feelings for him and the relationship, he tells me "anything can ha...
A. 15 August 2016: Your gut is telling you it is the latter. Trust your gut, even if it is not what you want to hear. Be strong, walk away. Don't remain "friends" with him because your agendas are totally different. Protect yourself from more hurt by cutting him out ... (read in full...)
My long-term friend gets jealous when I mention activities with other friends. Why would she do this?
Q. A long term friend of mine , known her 30 yrs.. (see her every 4 wks) has only 1 other friend gets ? Jealous Changes the subject Talks over me When I mention, casually as part of normal catch up conversation what I did with other friends in...
A. 14 August 2016: Could you one of two things: either she is jealous or she is just rude and uninterested in what is going on in your life.
I hope she makes up for her manner in other ways, otherwise why have her as a friend?... (read in full...)
I really do want to stop hurting my husband and my lover's wife. But how can I stop?
Q. If you want to judge, please stop reading this right now. I need advice, not lectures. I have been married for nearly 20 years now, no kids. I have never felt the need to seek fulfillment elsewhere since me and my husband have been truly happy...
A. 14 August 2016: I feel for you, I really do. However, I think you do know what you need to do; you just don't want to go there because it will be the hardest thing you have ever done. Stop and ask yourself this: how would you feel if the shoe was on the othe... (read in full...)
I want to have the courage to talk to her!
Q. iam attending a 3month java course at a coaching centre suitated 60kms away from my home town.after completing 1 month,i noticed a cute girl and i started falling in love with her.im not very courageous to talk to girls but once i got a chance to ...
A. 14 August 2016: It's not love, it's just attraction at this point, because you cannot love a person you know nothing about.
You are travelling far too quickly and putting far too much pressure on yourself.
Start with just chatting to her as you would one of... (read in full...)
Why does my boyfriend always want to cum on my face?
Q. When me and my boyfriend have anal sex, he always wants to cum on my face after. I don't mind once in a while but not every time. I have blown him many times and swallowed many times. Can anyone tell me why he wants this all the time ? ...
A. 14 August 2016: As a female, I have to ask: what does he do for YOU during sex? Does he do things YOU find a turn-on or is it all about him?
Did he get his sex "education" from watching porn? Sounds like it to me. ... (read in full...)
How does a woman make it clear she is interested without looking desperate?
Q. Hi, Im a 31 year old woman and my last relationship ended a few months ago. I've been trying online dating but haven't found anything lasting from it. Generally I tend to meet men who lose interest after a few dates and stop calling me. ...
A. 14 August 2016: I think a simple "Thank you for a lovely evening. I would love to do it again sometime if you're up for it" is sufficient to tell them you enjoyed their company and would like to meet up again, without sounding like you are going home to start ... (read in full...)
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