My girlfriend made a online dating profile and when I confronted her she lied. Where to now, with this relationship??
Q. So I found out my girlfriend had made a online dating profile and when I confronted her she lied straight to my face about it and after a little while she finally admitted she made it. When I asked her why she made it she told me she was bored an...
A. 30 November 2016: Do you see your girlfriend as your lover and your friend, or just as the mother of your baby? Why is she bored? Is she stuck at home all day looking after the baby? None of this would be an excuse, but it would start to explain her behaviour.
... (read in full...)
Do I wait for him to come round? Or do I let go?
Q. Could do with some insight here into my situation. I call it a situation because it is not nor never has been a relationship. and my female friends and male friends are offering conflicting advice. so I really am lost. I have a long-term friend...
A. 27 November 2016: I strongly believe life is all about timing. I believe long term relationships happen when two people meet who are at that same stage of life, both looking for such stability - sadly not always the best reason to get into a relationship and not ... (read in full...)
I think I deserve a straight answer
Q. I asked this girl out recently who I actually thought liked me back, given all the flirting, but as soon as I asked if she wanted to go out, she shrugged her shoulders and said, “I don’t know, I have to think about it, can I get back to you?” W...
A. 27 November 2016: Your sense of entitlement worries me somewhat. You cannot control the way people behave. What you CAN control however, is your own reactions.
There are many possibilities which spring to mind from your brief description. Maybe she was just fli... (read in full...)
I've planned a very elaborate threesome with my bf and another girl, but could still do with some advice..
Q. Hi all. The live-in boyfriend and I have been together for 5 years. We are very solid, trust each other completely, with little to no jealousy whatsoever, and we have a great sex life. So after about 6 months of discussion, we've finally decided to ...
A. 26 November 2016: Only three words of advice:
DON'T
DO
IT.
The end. ... (read in full...)
I think my neice is actually my father's child
Q. hi im 67 years old and have this niggling problem i dicovered when i walked in on my father haveing sex with my eldest sister this was when i was 14 my sister see me but dad did not and they carried on i am sure that her youngest child who is now ...
A. 26 November 2016: It is highly unlikely this girl is your father's daughter. After all, the abuse you witnessed - let's not pretend it was anything other than that - was 53 years ago. The "child" in question is 30. That would mean the abuse continued for 23 years or ... (read in full...)
22 years in a loveless abusive marriage. What should I do?
Q. Have been living a loveless marriage for 22yrs, always abusing me verbally like am not pretty, not compatible, he's always the one that brings quarrel telling me to go. But the kids am afraid of quitting am also from a broken home I knew what I ...
A. 26 November 2016: Children from broken homes CAN suffer as a consequence of their parents splitting up. However, children who witness one of their parents being systematically abused also suffer great mental torment and often grow up to either be abusers themselves ... (read in full...)
2 year relationship just ended. How to move on?
Q. I remember that it hurt. Hearing the words hurt - and at the same time, it felt like something out of a movie, like it wasn't happening. After all, how could it? It had been merely a week since our second anniversary, and as an anniversary gift she ...
A. 26 November 2016: Two months is no time at all to get over a relationship, especially one you viewed as "the one". You are no longer crying so you have already made progress, so from that you can see that you WILL move on and survive. It does take time though. You ... (read in full...)
Boyfriend wants me to give another man oral sex.I am not happy with this!
Q. My boyfriend has been pressuring me into blowing another guy and I feel completely uncomfortable with the idea, I have told him this everytime he's asked and now he brings it up in the middle of sex or while he's dirty talking, I told him I'd ...
A. 26 November 2016: WHAT THE HELL? DON'T DO IT!!!!!!!
If he had any genuine feelings for you, he would (a) not want to share you and (b) would not pressure you into something with which you are uncomfortable.
Why are you with this low life? You are worth more. ... (read in full...)
I'm straight and not interested in my female friend, but I'd like to maintain our friendship. Can that still happen after she admitted romantic feelings for me?
Q. I used to have a female best friend, who fell in love with me. Trouble was, I'm straight and had a boyfriend. She got very jealous, and I spilt up with my boyfriend because I felt our friendship was nore important, which made it worse, because I ...
A. 25 November 2016: Sad as it is, you will probably have to resign yourself to losing her friendship. I speak from experience. You have different agendas and "just friendship" is not on hers. ... (read in full...)
Did he ask me out or was it just a joke?
Q. I got asked out today, or at least I think so. So I want to ask you guys on here if you think he said it as a joke, or meant business. We work at the same building, but not the same job/office. So we typically meet and just talk for 5-10 minutes...
A. 23 November 2016: Poor guy probably spent ages waiting for an opportunity when nobody else was around to mention the dating site and casually test the ground to see if you would be interested in dating him. Next time you are chatting with him, ask casually "so, wh... (read in full...)
Did I give this much older man the wrong signals by giving him my phone number?
Q. I made a bad mistake. I have been in the US for few years but don't know much about dating as I moved here with my ex husband.I got divorce 2 years ago and I have never dated here and no interest to do so even I get lots of attention. Here is the p...
A. 22 November 2016: Hm, him finding me on Linked-In when I hadn't told him my surname would ring alarm bells for me.
His expectations are his alone. You do not have to do what he expects or wants.
I would be inclined to make it very clear to him, in language he c... (read in full...)
How can I help myself? I am so confused. Our relationship has problems, but I do love him.
Q. I think my relationship is over.... I found out that my man is registered with a site called ^^^chat. I confronted him 6 months later, he swore on his mum's life and his children from previous marriage that it was not him. few months later in ...
A. 22 November 2016: I have to ask, what is it about him you think you love? Are you a better and stronger person when you are with him? Does he support you and encourage you to grow spiritually? Does he respect you? Can you truthfully answer YES to any of these?
... (read in full...)
Why do men sexualize women this way?
Q. Why are men so disgusting? I'm not trolling. From what I have seen of men, they are foul. They admit to looking at every woman as a sexual partner, imagining her naked... They think disgusting things. They use disgusting words when referrin...
A. 20 November 2016: As others have said, not all men are like this. However, in my experience, many of the ones who are like this use this sort of language as a sort of defence mechanism. They are usually insecure and many feel empowered by referring to women in the ... (read in full...)
Does this guy have a girlfriend? I'm so confused!
Q. There is this guy who I used to date and have sex with, and all of a sudden, I saw a bunch of things that raise the question: Does this guy have an official girlfriend? -Firstly, he posted a picture on IG with a girl on Halloween and she commente...
A. 18 November 2016: Can you not simply ask him outright what the score is between him and this girl?
For the record, if he was seeing you (on whatever level) and having sex with you, then just dropped up without having the manners or consideration to explain ... (read in full...)
My girlfriend cheated on me but claims she was taken advantage of, what do I do?
Q. My girlfriend and i have been dating for about two months now, and it's been a semi long distance relationship with her going to a different college than me about 30 minutes away. We argue here and there about little things but at the end of the ...
A. 15 November 2016: She made ONE mistake, for which she seems truly sorry. Have you never done something - especially after drinking - that you have regretted?
I can assure you that, if she had enough to drink, it is very possible she doesn't remember parts of the n... (read in full...)
Our fights have become over the top!
Q. I have been with my boyfriend for 3 years now. We have had our ups and downs. On occasion, I have had to walk away and take a "break," because the arguments become so personal and heated and so incredibly loud, and I cannot stand the insults any ...
A. 15 November 2016: OMG! Get out! NOW!
This man is an ignorant bully and a tyrant. He will find every excuse under the sun not to marry you because he is an insecure selfish person.
PLEASE realize you deserve so much better. Find a man who shows you he loves you... (read in full...)
Boyfriend's family is refusing to let me stay with them.
Q. I have been dating my boyfriend for 18 months now. He is Indian and his family is Muslim. We intend to get married in the next year (not engaged yet) and they know we are serious, but because I am a white blonde girl they treat me completely ...
A. 15 November 2016: It strikes me you are making all the effort and the sacrifices here, while your boyfriend seems to be just allowing it. (Sorry if that is not so but that is what is sounds like from your post.) Are you sure he is as committed to your future as y... (read in full...)
What does it mean when someone describes a man as "sharp"?
Q. Dear Aunts, OK, so I hear this word get thrown around a lot to describe men. 1. One time my coworker said to be aware of my manager because he was sharp. He used to eye me a lot. Whaa? 2. A male friend told me that my crush was sharpe...
A. 14 November 2016: Sadly words change meaning over the years. I remember not so long ago the very young generation using "bad" to mean "really good" for instance!
Why don't you just ask the people who used "sharp" in this context what they meant? ... (read in full...)
How to avoid being tempted?
Q. Hello, Here is an interesting one for you. I am married (with kids). My wife is very beautiful (former Miss), we have great sex - I can get it on demand, whatever I want, I think I love her, surely I wouldn't want to hurt her. Yet, I can't sto...
A. 14 November 2016: Steady tiger! You see a message asking "How are you?" as someone coming on to you? Seriously? Blimey, I have people "coming on to me" every day if that is the standard!
Firstly, I think you need to realize there is a BIG difference between ... (read in full...)
My boyfriend is gaslighting me!
Q. Can anyone give me some advice on "gaslighting" please?its a technique used by narcissists etc to make people doubt their sanity!I'm having a lot of problems with my boyfriend of 2 years...the main problem is that hes not had sex with me for 6 ...
A. 13 November 2016: Sounds like your relationship has run its course. There is nothing good in it for you any longer. You are worth more than this man is giving you (much much more). End it neatly and kindly and move on with your life.... (read in full...)
I always find the wrong guy! I'm sick of being single.
Q. I seem to have no luck with finding the right guy... Recently met a new guy on a dating site. We spoke for a few days then he asked me on a date. I accepted and we arranged a day. However, as the day got nearer, he said he had to work so we could...
A. 13 November 2016: Perhaps this desperation to find someone - i.e. ANYONE - shows in your communications and scares off genuine guys?
I do wonder why, at your age, you are using dating sites instead of going out and meeting people? There will always be people w... (read in full...)
I am worried about my family's reaction when they see my test results.
Q. Hi there... So a little about me.. I recently moved to a different school and in a different country and Im turning 18 very soon.. So recently, I flew home to visit my parents even though I had tests coming up. And my holiday was just a week, the...
A. 13 November 2016: Treat these results as a warning that you need to put in more serious work before the end of the month. In your shoes, I would tell your parents BEFORE they get the official report. Say you worked hard but you didn't do as well as you wanted to and, ... (read in full...)
I'm really attracted to my friend, won't cheat on my partner so how do I handle the attraction?
Q. Hi, I have myself a very loving boyfriend, we are each others rock, and best friends, enjoy food, and home life, and hobbies together, we help each other to work through any stresses and fully support each other as much as possible in all we do. I...
A. 12 November 2016: Being in a relationship does not automatically make us immune to attraction to other people. However, what we do about this attraction is what defines our morality.
I think you should be concerned more about your lack of sexual intimacy with you... (read in full...)
Girl Is Trying To Make Me Jealous But I'm Not Interested In Her
Q. Met this girl recently, she's hot but I'm not really interested in her that way because I like women who are intellectual. I thought she was a bit too friendly when we first met, laughing at all my jokes etc. I also keep noticing her trying to catch ...
A. 12 November 2016: If she's hot and you are not interested in her, she could see you as a challenge, hence her trying to manipulate you into "caring".
I suspect that, if you ignore her, she will eventually get bored and move on to someone else.
... (read in full...)
The girl I love, loves my best friend
Q. So I like a girl in my school, and were both sophomores. I've liked her since freshman year and I have tried literally everyday to ask her out, and now she has a boyfriend. I would ask her out even if she had a boyfriend but a problem that I have ...
A. 12 November 2016: If you knew her for so long and liked her for so long, why didn't you ask her out BEFORE she got a boyfriend? What stopped you? If it was shyness, then now is the time to work on that and practice talking to girls. They are humans, just like you. ... (read in full...)
I'm confused about whether this guy is gay or straight
Q. I'm very confused about this guy is he straight or gay. Before we started talking their were a couple of instances he'd stare at me once in a supermarket once or twice in my gym. We started talking through one of the social media platforms and what...
A. 12 November 2016: Just because he stares at you does not necessarily mean he fancies you. Perhaps he was admiring your body and thinking "I would really like a body like that".
If you are chatting with in on social media, why don't you suggest going out for a dr... (read in full...)
Do I wait it out or make a move? I don't want to be rejected
Q. wait it out or just make a move I do like him...well .... he looks to be about 36, im 32 female but I look young.....anyway he stares at me and smiles with all 32 teeth showin, (he is fluffy, im normally not into teddy bear type men, b...
A. 12 November 2016: Don't make a big deal of it. Just say something like, "Heh, I really need a coffee. You're welcome to join me if you have time."
That way, he has an easy get-out if he doesn't want to go or if you catch him on the back foot and he doesn't ... (read in full...)
I'm very attracted to my therapist! Should I just stop with the therapy and ask her out?
Q. I suffer from severe depression and anxiety and I started seeing a therapist yesterday. And she's absolutely beautiful. I would've found it a little easier to talk to some middle aged woman or even an old person, but she's the same age as me, and ...
A. 12 November 2016: I think your first priority needs to be your mental health. Perhaps ask for a different therapist, one who you can connect with and can help you?
I wonder why you think you would be able to talk to her if she was not your therapist when you can'... (read in full...)
Boyfriend said "love ya" instead of "I love you". Is there a difference?
Q. So my boyfriend has told me the L word. But he said "Love ya" instead of "I love you." Is there a difference?...
A. 12 November 2016: He probably feels more comfortable saying it that way, in a more light-hearted way, rather than getting all heavy and serious.
Stop over-thinking and enjoy. ... (read in full...)
Engaged for three years but I can't bring myself to marry him
Q. I am trying to understand and realizing what happen in my relationship. Ive been with my fiance for 6 years and soon to be marry. If i accept his proposal 3 years ago maybe now we have our own family which i wish for. The reason why i still dont...
A. 11 November 2016: First of all, NO relationship is perfect. Everyone has flaws. You have them, he has them. We are all human. Most people will tell you there are things about their life partners that drive them mad. Secondly, in my experience, people who wait ... (read in full...)
I broke off a 3 year affair and all he said was ok
Q. Hi, I've been seeing a married man(ex), for 3 years now. I finally got the guts to say "I can't do this anymore, I need more". It was really hard to say this to him since I still love him. He just said to me "ok". nothing else. not why, are you ...
A. 10 November 2016: Sounds to me like he is relieved you have called it a day because he didn't have the guts to do it in case you told his wife.
You are worth so much more. Find someone who will fight to keep you, not who allows you to walk away without question... (read in full...)
I'd like a gap year, is that so bad?
Q. Hi. So I know this question isn't really about relationships and sex but this sites by far my favourite and I figured you guys would be helpful. Im 17 and supposed to be starting university next September - I say supposed to because I'm completely ...
A. 7 November 2016: OK. I am puzzled slightly. On the one hand you say you would be going to Uni to help you get into your "dream career". On the other hand you say it is something you are "not interested in." I took a gap year of a different kind as I couldn't de... (read in full...)
I'm uncomfortable saying words about genitals. Help?
Q. Hi there, I'm in my first relationship and have been for 18 or so months. I've got body dysmorphia and I'm waiting for therapy for it, but I'm ashamed of my body. I'm very introverted physically and I've only ever been naked with my current boyfr...
A. 7 November 2016: Trust me, sweetie, a lot (if not most) of women have problems (at least initially) with this. I am way older than you and, while I never considered myself a prude and was open to trying different things sexually, I always struggled with using what I ... (read in full...)
Why is she treating me this way? Is she just using me?
Q. Hey, me and my partner been together 13 years we have 4 kids and are now goin to get married in october 2017, just a few things id like to ask, 1) my partner has admitted to me that she cant talk to me the same way she can other guys whats this ...
A. 6 November 2016: You two SO need to talk - to each other. And fast - before the wedding.
We can only speculate what she means, especially as we don't know her side of the story.
... (read in full...)
Am I crazy to think my abusive husband might change? I'm pregnant and don't want to break up
Q. I have been married to my husband for 4 years now and we just found out we are pregnant. 8weeks along. He has been mentally and physically abusive in the past. He's locked me out of the house and I stayed with my parents for a long while. He has ...
A. 6 November 2016: I am sure he "realizes" what he is doing but he still chooses not to change it. Blaming you for fighting back is just bullsh*t.
Do you want your child to be in danger even before it is born? If he has already tried strangling you, what is to st... (read in full...)
I have a girlfriend but there is sexual tension with a friend. What should I do?
Q. I'm currently in a happy relationship of almost two years, I love my girlfriend and we rarely argue but over the last month or two I've started to get feelings for my best friend. We briefly had a thing about 4 years ago but nothing came of it and ...
A. 6 November 2016: Just because you are in a relationship does not make you blind to the charms of others. However, what you choose to do about that attraction will say everything about the sort of person you are. Put yourself in your girlfriend's shoes and imagin... (read in full...)
If a man's intentions are sex, will holding off make him like you more?
Q. I had read an article on the Evan Marc Katz website and it mentioned that holding off on sex weeds out the guys who are only interested in getting into your pants and not really wanting to get to know you/don't like you. I also heard from a dif...
A. 6 November 2016: I don't think it will make him like you. It MIGHT make him respect you, even value you because he has had to wait/work for what he wanted.
What holding off having sex until you are sure what his intentions are WILL give YOU is far less hurt if ... (read in full...)
I'm feeling smothered and not into the guy I am dating
Q. I have been dating a great guy for about 2 months. He's pretty much everything you could want. Handsome, thoughtful, selfless, caring, helpful, hard working, good father. And I'm sure more. There are some things I don't like of course, but I'd say ...
A. 6 November 2016: If you are not that into him, then you cannot force yourself to get excited about him. If the chemistry is not there, it's not there.
Not sure what the difference between dating someone and being their girlfriend is in your view but, frankly,... (read in full...)
Why won't my boyfriend just admit that he's smoking?
Q. Hello. I'm having a bit of a problem with my boyfriend of nearly two years. First off let me start by saying, I'm not normally a suspicious person. And usually I would give people the benefit of doubt but things have gone a bit too far now. ...
A. 6 November 2016: As someone who has been wrongly accused of smoking because an ex thought he found "proof" in my bag (in the form of a box of matches I had used to light candles on family graves), I would advise caution.
Yes, it is LIKELY he is smoking and lyin... (read in full...)
My jealousy with boyfriend is becoming crippling
Q. I would love some honest, intelligent, thought provoking advice. Thank you in advance. I have been seriously dating a man 15 years older than I, for a little over a year now. We recently moved in together. He's wonderful, caring, loving, generous...
A. 6 November 2016: Does he realize how much his constant checking-out of other women upsets and unsettles you? It is not "burdening him" if you just bring it up and explain to him how his behaviour makes you feel. We all react differently to things and it may be that ... (read in full...)
My boyfriend thinks he is funny. I don't. I'm tired of it
Q. My boyfriend finds his jokes funny but I don't. I have a virus and am feeling low and mentioned that I was in a pantomine next month. His reply was "Well Im sure they can find another ugly sister somewhere." Im not even playing that part and just ...
A. 5 November 2016:
If you find his sense of humour childish, treat it accordingly. Roll your eyes and do a fake hysterical laugh, holding your ribs like they are hurting from laughing. Then stop instantly and change the subject.
He probably doesn't realize how ... (read in full...)
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