Should I take a step back and distance myself from her?
Q. so I like this girl who is one of my best friends. when we first met we started something it wasn't serious but that ended due to me and hers mental health issues. anyway we stayed friends and we're really close talk everyday, tell each other ...
A. 13 January 2017: You two really need to sit down and have a serious heart-to-heart conversation. It is not fair of her to string you along, saying she can see herself marrying you, then in the next breath say she does not care for you like you do for her. You need ... (read in full...)
Boyfriend of 5 months constantly mentions how good looking he is
Q. Dear Cupid, I (25 years old) have recently started going out with a 26 year old guy. He is a gentleman, treats me well, but I've noticed one red flag (or at least, I think it is a red flag) about him. He constantly mentions how good looking he ...
A. 13 January 2017: I think this is a situation in which your strength lies in how YOU choose to react to his behaviour. You can CHOOSE to be irritated by it or worried by it (insert any other emotion/reaction you might feel here), but you can also CHOOSE to roll your ... (read in full...)
How can I get rid of our anxieties and start to date?
Q. I really like this guy I met online. We have spoken a lot and he's asked to meet me. I am extremely shy and it (has) taken me a while to get comfortable with meeting new people. Sometimes it stops me meeting people because I get so worried about ...
A. 12 January 2017: I am sure I don't need to stress how dangerous it could be for you to go to the home of someone you don't actually know. All you know at present is what he wants you to know. Please do not agree to go to his house.
I would be trying to arrange ... (read in full...)
Need to reset my compass when it comes to men
Q. Dear all All of my life I have struggled with self-acceptance issues. I tried hard to work on my self-esteem and confidence. I'm pretty confident at the current time but the thing is every time anyone approaches me in an intimate way I find myself p...
A. 12 January 2017: First of all, have a big HUG.
I suspect you need to identify what it is about intimacy that scares you. Is it the thought of commitment? Is it the thought of being with the wrong person? Is it the thought of someone in "your space"? Is it becau... (read in full...)
Should I be concerned ? He came home from his class, wearing cologne
Q. My boyfriend is a self defense instructor at our gym. He teaches an hour class one evening each week voluntarily. I noticed this evening that he came home from his class, wearing cologne. This is the first time that I have ever noticed him wea...
A. 12 January 2017: They do say that one of the first signs something is going on is when someone changes their routine/habits.
However, I think it's a bit early to worry. There could be a number of explanations: your boyfriend could have felt a bit warm/sme... (read in full...)
Will guys reject me because of my physical flaw? Would this bother a guy?
Q. hey, I would love people to reply , it would help me so much. thanks. I am trying to work on my self esteem but 4 years ago I was in a bad place struggling with my identity. I rushed into getting a tattoo on my calf. Its quite large, its a vinta...
A. 11 January 2017: You will always find the occasional guy for whom it may be a deal breaker - but guys like that would probably find some other excuse if you didn't have the tattoo.
Other people probably do not notice it half as much as you do. These days so many ... (read in full...)
I'm not sure if I should hang in there or let it go ...
Q. Hello everyone, I'm not sure where to begin? I came out of a very bad relationship. I try not to say anything negative about anyone, but imagine the worst things you can do and she pretty much did it. This ended about a year ago. I met...
A. 11 January 2017: I'm puzzled. What is the problem? You have known this girl 4 or 5 weeks, have been on 2 dates, have got on well, and communicate every day. Why are you looking for reasons/excuses to end the relationship? What are you afraid of? There are very few... (read in full...)
I need advice on making my marriage better. Should I feel guilty about the flirtation I had on a weekend away?
Q. I need some advice on making my relationship better. I'm married and have been for 13 years, the first thing I want to say is I love my wife. I am in my mid 40's whilst my wife is 7 years older than me, up until last year I was fairly overweight ...
A. 9 January 2017: Ivyblue seems to have covered all points very well already.
The flirty woman awoke feelings in you which you had forgotten about. It IS nice to feel desired and wanted. It sounds like your marriage has slipped into a rut.
What sort of ... (read in full...)
I always fear something bad is waiting for me
Q. Hey all! I have a dog of 2 years. I love her like a baby and so does my family. Sometimes I just watch her sleeping and worry about how long she will live. I want her to complete the 15 year mark and don't want to lose her young- of course if I h...
A. 8 January 2017: I think most people who love their pets have underlying fears about losing them. We all know they don't live anywhere near long enough and that, one day, we will have to say goodbye.
I think the only thing you can do is make sure you look after yo... (read in full...)
I am finding it increasingly difficult to deal with my in laws!
Q. I am finding it increasingly difficult to deal with my husbands family . He has several family members who beliefs and behaviour are very challenging and they sometimes stay with us as they live interstate . Some are currently or were in the past ...
A. 8 January 2017: Your strength lies in how you react to these people, as you have no control over the way they act.
You can either get upset by them and find their visits stressful, or you can realize how ridiculous they are and laugh (maybe to yourself).
In y... (read in full...)
How long does a relationship 'break' last?
Q. How long do relationship 'breaks' generally last? My fiancé has suggested two weeks but then said it could be indefinitely, I feel she is messing with my head. ...
A. 8 January 2017: There is a huge difference between "2 weeks" and "indefinitely".
If you love this lady, give her the 2 weeks and then get in contact and discuss the situation. If she is still not sure, and if she mentions "indefinitely" again, in your shoes I ... (read in full...)
Has anybody else been in a bad place, and how did you turn your life around?
Q. I've gotten myself into a mess and I would like some advice with how to deal with it. Has anybody else been in a bad place and how did you turn your life around? I'm depressed at the moment because of an extremely bad relationship. He did s...
A. 8 January 2017: Ooh, been there, done that! As my dear mum used to say, "the only person who doesn't make any mistakes is the person who doesn't do anything".
Mistakes are part and parcel of our journey through life. They are our lessons. There is a school o... (read in full...)
Is it just the sex he wants?
Q. I have been seeing a guy for 3 months now, but we don't meet often, only once per 1 or 2 weeks, depending on our work schedules. We do go on dates when we meet, not just sex. He remembered my bday even though I have only mentioned it once and he ...
A. 7 January 2017: Wow, I had to read your post twice to get my head round it! Talk about sending out mixed messages! This poor guy probably doesn't know whether he is coming or going. You have been dating for 3 months, having sex during every date, yet, when he cal... (read in full...)
I think she's going to dump me because her dog loves me more than her!
Q. I have been with my girlfriend for a little while now, but she has trouble with her dog loving her... I see that the dog loves her, but she thinks the dog loves me more and dosent love her at all. Recently I have been accused of stealing her dog...
A. 7 January 2017: I read your post and my heart fell lower and lower. What on earth is wrong with your girlfriend that she feels she has to compete for her dog's affection and attention? Surely she should be happy that her dog has someone else in its life that it ... (read in full...)
She wants me to start wearing the pants in our relationship?!?
Q. Right, so my girlfriend told me yesterday she wants me to start wearing the pants in the relationship. I had no idea what she meant, and when I asked her she didn't really know how to explain it. Can someone here maybe explain it to me? Also, ...
A. 7 January 2017: Do conversations in your relationship go along lines like this? Her: What shall we do tonight? You: I don't mind. Whatever you want. Her: What shall we eat tonight? You: I don't mind. Whatever you want. I would take her comment to mean sh... (read in full...)
I'm worried that his mother will say something mean in Spanish about me!
Q. My boyfriend and I have been dating for 6 months. So far he's has met my family but for the most part they like him. But I haven't met his mom yet (I met his younger brother and sister). She doesn't speak english well and I'm really anxious about ...
A. 7 January 2017: As the offspring of an immigrant family who spoke very little English, let me tell you that the mother will probably be far more worried about what YOU think of HER. Please make an effort to try to put her at ease. If you are concentrating on that, ... (read in full...)
How can I meet this guy?
Q. So there was this guy I fancied and asked him for a drink but he ignored me....... anyway I'm over him now but just discovered a friend of his. He was on a the to series first dates and I had this instant attraction to him when I watched it just ...
A. 31 December 2016: You do realize that, just because "numerology" says you are compatible, this does not mean he is your life partner, don't you?
There is no such thing as KNOWING someone is "the one". You need to get to know someone well before finding this out... (read in full...)
Am I over-reacting to the news that my Gf of 8 months failed to tell me (until very recently) that her friend was also her ex ?
Q. My gf of 8 months and i have been hitting it off great, discussing issues that come up. She recently informed me that she had dated one of her friends-- who we've both hung out with at parties on a lot of special events, ie birthdays etc. I was ...
A. 31 December 2016: I don't really feel you have any right to demand/expect your girlfriend to tell you EVERYTHING about her past. Any relationships are in her past and over. She is now with you, out of choice, so why are you making her feel guilty? Keep doing this and ... (read in full...)
He is two different boyfriends in one. Mr Jekyll and Mr Hyde. He's making me feel scared. what should I do?
Q. MODNOTE FREE UK resources added by the Moderator: http://www.nationaldomesticviolencehelpline.org.uk/if-you-are-a-woman-experiencing-domestic-violence.aspx Phone 0808 2000 247 in UK and http://www.refuge.org.uk/what-we-do/our-services/helpline/ ...
A. 31 December 2016: Just two words of advice: GET OUT!
This situation is already escalating. How much worse does it have to get before you realize how much danger you are in?
PLEASE PLEASE look after yourself and get out of this abusive relationship. ... (read in full...)
Does a bruise on my boyfriend's stomach mean he is cheating?
Q. My boyfriend came home with a noticeable bruise to the right of his belly button last night and this concerns me. We have had rough sex many times but not recently. I asked him where he got it and he said he has no idea and just noticed it himself ...
A. 31 December 2016: So just because he is quiet and doesn't talk about his feelings with you, you assume he is cheating? Really?
Re the bruise, I am a fairly clumsy person and constantly bumping into things. At the time I think "Ouch, that will leave a bruise" ... (read in full...)
I just broke up with my BF and I am upset. Any advice. please?
Q. I told my boyfriend of almost 7 months that I loved him. He didn't say it back. I asked him why and he said he just doesn't feel that way. And that when he feels it he will let me know. He had a very nice ex girlfriend for two years and he sai...
A. 31 December 2016: I think you are lucky to have got away with being dumped. Sounds like your ex is capable of reacting in a much worse way than that.
And for the record, demanding someone feels love for you is out of order. Just because you felt love for him does... (read in full...)
Does he possibly still like me? Is it normal behaviour to spend Xmas with your ex and not with a child he fathered?
Q. Me and my ex split in November 2013 due to him leaving for a new job then couple months later me finding out he met someone he knew and having a kid with her. Which I've asked many times but he will always denie anything. Anyway Feb this yr he r...
A. 31 December 2016: Why are you being a doormat for this bloke who doesn't even have enough respect for you to own up to a child he has fathered? He uses you as somewhere to stay some week-ends and you are grateful for this? If he is still with the mother of his child, ... (read in full...)
I've given her support over the years. But now she seems to have dropped me. Should I just accept her rejection and move on?
Q. My friend is mad at me after constantly asking me for advice and not liking my advice. Okay I have this friend from college - we met in class 3 years ago and kept an in-class friendship, we messaged almost every day on Facebook but we live 3 ho...
A. 30 December 2016: Blimey, she sounds like a class act. As I read further and further down your post, the urge to get hold of you and shake you and ask "Why are you putting yourself through this?" got stronger and stronger. You sound like a lovely person. You ... (read in full...)
What hope is there for a boyfriendless virgin? I think about sex, a lot. What can I do?
Q. Hi so I'm 17 and I'll be 18 this following year. Whilst I've had "situations" or issues with guys I've never had a boyfriend and never had sex. There was a time where I was close to sleeping with a guy I did not even want to be my boyfriend, bu...
A. 30 December 2016: Sweetheart, stick to your guns and don't drop your standards, just to have sex. Trust me, you will regret it in the future if you do. Yes, love CAN hurt. A lot. But it is worth it. Trust me, if you just go for a f***, you will feel so empty af... (read in full...)
Is it possible for men to move on so quickly?
Q. Hi, I need some advice. I was in a relationship with a guy for one year. We had a great relationship until September this year then we started to argue because his behaviour changed towards me and I also fell out with my best friend because I ...
A. 30 December 2016: You need to decide whether you want a relationship with this guy or not.
If you do, then you need to talk about a reconciliation. If not, then you need to cut ties (it takes two to keep contact going so you can do it just as easily as him) and... (read in full...)
I've only had one night stands or FWB ... how do I ask a girl on a date?
Q. Hi guys, I've never had a girlfriend before or been on a date up to yet, more because I've been happy being single rather than an inability to speak to girls. Basically my experience with girls has been one night stands and a few fwbs. However...
A. 30 December 2016: Three words of advice (and these apply to the asking and the dating): keep it simple. If you are nervous, the best thing to do with a first date is to keep it short and easy. Meet for a coffee, or go to see a film, which doesn't require much inp... (read in full...)
He is moving too fast, talking children, houses and marriage. He already has three kids.
Q. I need some advice I met this guy years ago down the pub via mutual friends he admitted he liked me never felt that same way. He then stopped speaking to me due to new gd etc and now has 3 kids with her who is now an ex September those yr he sees ...
A. 30 December 2016: A BIT strange? Darling, let me tell you, he is VERY strange.
I only have one bit of advice for you: get off his roller-coaster NOW, before things get out of hand. This guy is a fantasist. Sounds like his mother may be too - although perhaps ... (read in full...)
Is he not interested or just bad at texting?
Q. Recently I've been talking to a guy, we live a long distance from each other so our main form of communication is texting. At first we texted frequently and the conversation flowed. However after a few weeks he kept taking longer and longer to ...
A. 30 December 2016: I have no idea what the reason is but, sweetheart, you are only young. Why are you wasting your life on some random guy a long way away who blows hot and cold with texting you?
Life is for living. Get out there, have fun with friends, meet som... (read in full...)
Can you be pregnant with negative test results?
Q. I had sex with a guy one night in September. I dont really remember what happened but i know we had sex. We used a condom but i am unsure if he secretly slipped it off or of the condom may have failed. It isvDecember now and my stomach looks ...
A. 30 December 2016: What do you mean you don't remember much and are not sure what happened?
I suspect this could just be you worrying. A bloated stomach can be due to many things, not only pregnancy. As others have already said, you need to get checked out quickly ... (read in full...)
He lies about money, I am fed up with being his doormat!
Q. I would love your opinions please on whether I am being unfair or judgmental. Me and my husband have been together for 15 years. Over the years I have caught him out in lies over money. About five years ago his aunt passed away, I knew she had left...
A. 30 December 2016: I can understand why you find this irritating. In your shoes I would be the same.
What does he do with the money? What does he spend it on? He is acting like it is "his" money, even though you have been married for so long and you now pay the bill... (read in full...)
Is it normal for a 69 year old man to have only one topic he wants to talk about, namely his 30 year old divorced daughter. Is it worth continuing this relationship?
Q. I am 54 years old and met a really nice man who is 15 years my senior. He is divorced and has two daughters one aged 34 and the other in her twenties. On our first date he made a toast to his eldest daughters success in getting a promotion. (i...
A. 29 December 2016: Apart from the age, he sounds like my boss! It is impossible to have a conversation with him without him mentioning one or more of his 3 daughters.
I recently had knee surgery, which necessitated me being away from work for a couple of weeks. O... (read in full...)
I did the most stupid thing I've ever done. How to repair the damage? How can I make it up to him?
Q. Im an idiot for what i did . Theres 2 guys , one texts a lot and makes a lot of effort through texts the other could make me wait a few days for a reply . the one who texts me a lot i see a future with but he drags his feet wanting to spend ti...
A. 29 December 2016: Not sure why this guy has any right to get mad. He has no claim on you. He has not even taken you out!
He needs to either put his money where his mouth is and start dating you, or shove off and leave the way clear for someone who is not going to... (read in full...)
How do I avoid the kiss on the first date?
Q. Hi, I have a question and would appreciate your help. I'm not an American and this is the first time I'm dating here, 3 years after divorce. I'm 39 and my date is 42. He is single, indian and educated and moved to the US when he was so young. I'm ...
A. 29 December 2016: Why is this such a big issue? Is it just on the first date you want to avoid this?
I suppose, practically, you can just turn your cheek if he leans in to give you a kiss, and do a "continental" kiss on the cheeks. Or hold out your hand for a ha... (read in full...)
My marriage is emotionally unfulfilling and dead. Should I stay or leave?
Q. I'm in a marriage that could be described as comfortable . Both of us treat each other very nicely , the sex is good on a physical level ( although no emotional component really ) and we have built an good life together over twenty year . The ...
A. 29 December 2016: First of all, have a big BIG hug. You sound so sad, my heart goes out to you. Your husband is what he is, just as you are what you are. You are very different people with very different needs. He loves you (I assume) but just has a different... (read in full...)
Is AB more important to my Bf than he implies? I believe he loves me. But I only sharing him with AB?
Q. My boyfriend and I have been dating for 4 years and some change. When I left for college he became really close with a female friend( I'll call her AB). I do know her but I don't know her that well because we were never friends we just all kno...
A. 29 December 2016: I don't think he needs to work on his relationship with this girl; rather he needs to work on his relationship with YOU. I am a firm believer in gut instinct. We have it for a blooming good reason. If it FEELS to be wrong, then something probab... (read in full...)
My ex fiance treats me like a best friend
Q. My ex fiancé broke up with me 4 months ago. We were together for almost four years. At first she needed space and was confused because she couldn't get over issues in our past. She wanted time and for me to back off and give her space. We have ...
A. 28 December 2016: This must be so hard for you. To be honest, from the description you give, she sounds more like she is mothering you than anything else (cooking, clothes shopping, etc). You can liken your situation to having a plaster on a hairy part of your bod... (read in full...)
Am I freaking out for no reason? He hasn't texted in 3 days!
Q. Hello, I'm a 22 year old single mother. I haven't dated much and it's been 2 years since my last serious relationship. I recently met a guy at the mall a few weeks ago. Well we have been texting the past couple weeks and then this past Wednesday w...
A. 28 December 2016: It looks like you two lead very different lives. One the one hand, this young lad (because that is all he is at 19) has a busy life, with school, work and friends. On the other hand, you appear to have nothing else than this lad you have known for 2 ... (read in full...)
Mom told me I can't see my boyfriend. Should I take a taxi and go there?
Q. I want to go to my boyfriends house, but my mom told me I can't tomorrow! I looked at taxi services in my area and was wondering should I call a taxi and go to his house without my mom knowing and then come back home before she gets home?? ...
A. 28 December 2016: Yes, do it . . . if you want your mum to lose any trust she has in you.
... (read in full...)
Do you guys have any advice on how to stay confident and keep myself afloat when living in a world that doesn't deem you as beautiful or worthwhile?
Q. So I'm a 22 year old gay guy and I've never had a boyfriend or any sort of relationship in my life. I always used to think that I would only share myself and my body with someone I love and care about (At least when it comes to firsts like first ...
A. 27 December 2016: If you feel you are failing to find what you want because you are not "beautiful or worthwhile", I would suggest you are looking in the wrong places.
If you go to nightclubs and similar places to find partners, the only thing they can judge yo... (read in full...)
I am having difficulty with my girlfriend's son
Q. Hi guys, im 8 months into a relationship with my girlfriend and things are goin great with us, we have such a laugh when we are together, but im having a very hard time warming to her 12 year old son who lives with her, sometimes hes fine but most ...
A. 27 December 2016: It's never easy, stepping into a relationship where a child is involved. This poor child (because you have to always remember that is all he is - a child) has been used to having his mother to himself. You don't mention if his father is on the scene ... (read in full...)
Did I make the correct decision ending the "fwb"?
Q. We only made out once. No sex. Nothing more than just kissing and touching to be honest. He was very affectionate (kissing forehead, hands, etc) We've been talking everyday for the past 4 months (but I knew him from like 7 yrs ago but only reconnec...
A. 27 December 2016: Did you actually agree this would be a FWB arrangement? Or did you just assume it would be?
You two really do need to talk and clarify where you are both coming from. It would be a shame to throw away a potentially good relationship because ... (read in full...)
| *oucannotbeserious's friends
These are mutual friends, so *oucannotbeserious has
added them and they have added *oucannotbeserious!
|
