Did I make the correct decision ending the "fwb"?
Q. We only made out once. No sex. Nothing more than just kissing and touching to be honest. He was very affectionate (kissing forehead, hands, etc) We've been talking everyday for the past 4 months (but I knew him from like 7 yrs ago but only reconnec...
A. 27 December 2016: Did you actually agree this would be a FWB arrangement? Or did you just assume it would be?
You two really do need to talk and clarify where you are both coming from. It would be a shame to throw away a potentially good relationship because ... (read in full...)
I don't know how to handle the situation with this guy
Q. Hello, So I have been seeing someone for past couple of weeks and every time we are together things are fine. We have had intercourse, we're the same age. He has a son and so I understand he needs time to be with his son and I give him that sp...
A. 27 December 2016: I think you need to take a break from dating (given the way your previous relationship ended) and find your equilibrium before starting to date again.
This guy obviously has more issues than most (ADHD, a child, a recent break up) and the two of y... (read in full...)
Should I delete him?
Q. I have known a guy for a few years who shows me interest and then withdraws. He leads me on and then ignores my messages. The final straw was he acted interested again, ignored my message yet has been on the dating sites. Should I delete him off ...
A. 27 December 2016: A new year is coming up - the perfect time to have a clear out and bin anything/anyone that is not useful or does not bring you joy.
Throw him out with the rubbish and don't be tempted to let him back in to waste more of your time.
... (read in full...)
How can I try to improve the way my mother communicates with me? Her egotistical ways are not helping.
Q. Hi all, My problem is about my mother, who has very poor communication skills, even in languages that she's really good at. It might be silly but creates big problems mainly because after not having communicated to us properly, she will turn ...
A. 25 December 2016: I feel your pain, I really do. However, I think this is one of those situations where you cannot control how your mother acts but your real power lies in controlling how you react to her. You can choose to take it to heart and get upset by it, or ... (read in full...)
In a committed, passionate, loving relationship. Am I wrong for feeling 'put down' or like a 'one night stand'?
Q. Here are the basics in order to fully understand my feelings about this situation: I am a 35 yr old male and she is 34. We have been in a committed relationship for a year now. We have a what we call "remarkable" relationship that truthfully ...
A. 25 December 2016: Wow, I can't imagine many people, male or female, who, when in a committed relationship, wouldn't have felt that sort of comment was out of order. I can totally understand why you felt like a f**k buddy. Firstly, I think you need to put trying fo... (read in full...)
I feel fed up not knowing where I stand!
Q. I met a guy 4 years ago through a walking group. We were both interested in each other but for some reason we never got together. I told him I liked him and he had some sort of anxiety attack and panicked in front of me saying he wasn't interested ...
A. 25 December 2016: I doubt you will hear back from this guy. Your text will have probably given him another panic attack.
I think you WERE right to send the text (you never know if you don't ask) but there are only so many chances you can given someone before y... (read in full...)
How Long Do I Wait? Does he want a relationship?
Q. We have been talking for about 5 weeks now. We are about a 2 hours drive away from each other. We are not in a relationship, just been talking. He has already said he loves me we have sexted and we are planning on meeting up soon. I want to...
A. 25 December 2016: Please be careful. You know nothing about this guy. You only know what he wants you to know. He could be completely different from what he makes out to be. If you are going to meet, please meet in public for the first few times, and please don't ge... (read in full...)
I'm dating but I'm also developing stronger feeling for another guy. Not sure what to do. Help, please?
Q. I started university in September and have formed a good group of friends. I have started to date one of the guys in the group privately and I know he has fairly strong feelings for me. However, I have been talking a lot with one of the other guy...
A. 25 December 2016: You are at an age where you are likely to date lots of people for relatively short periods of time as you discover what you want or don't want in a potential partner. Not everyone you date will be a life partner, or even a long term boyfriend. This ... (read in full...)
Are my reasons for not trusting her valid?
Q. I don't know if I should stay in my relationship. At times it is excellent she can be thoughtful, giving, and highly sexually charged and also will spend a great deal of time just making sure I'm okay, but I find it very hard to trust her she has a ...
A. 25 December 2016: If your gut is telling you something is not right, then this will eat away at you over the months/years and stop you giving yourself totally to this relationship. It will end up messing with your mind.
We don't know your girlfriend. She could ju... (read in full...)
I just found his sex doll, I’m upset! What do I do?
Q. I just found my boyfriend of 4 yrs silicone sex doll. I haven't had a chance to talk yo him about it bc his mom has been in the hospital but is now coming home. I can't hold it in much longer. I'm upset what do I do?...
A. 24 December 2016: Put yourself in his place and think how you would like it if he found a vibrator you had stashed away? I really don't think it is any of your business - unless you are not getting enough sex, in which case that is a completely different ... (read in full...)
Does sending me picture of her stomach tattoo with the bottom of her breasts just visible mean she’s flirting with me?
Q. So I have a friend and we live far apart but we text a lot. I don't know her super well yet but I am getting to know her, I enjoy her company on the phone and she is kind of cute. We often send each other photos of our day to day life. We got onto ...
A. 23 December 2016: I would say she is flirting. However, her aim is harder to determine.
Could be she is flirting because she fancies you and wants you to ask her out. On the other hand, she could be flirting because you are a safe distance away and she sees it ... (read in full...)
Is it a good idea to let a guy know you are a cheater?
Q. Dear Cupid,I am a firm believer if you do something to somebody it is right to return what has been done to you.I was in a relationship with this guy for years a little over some years.He would cheat,lie,and make babies on me. I would look past it ...
A. 22 December 2016: Do you tell your child why it was conceived? As revenge on a lowlife who treated you badly? What a reason to enter the world. Very sad.
By cheating on this man, you lowered yourself to his level. Be more careful in your choice of partners and, if ... (read in full...)
I think I may not be the only one he likes
Q. I'm in love with a guy in my school, that's university.i met him in early September.My problem is, I don't really know whether he likes me just as a friend or more than a friend. Even though he constantly tell me he likes me, holds my hands often, ...
A. 22 December 2016: He sounds like a bit of a player. By that I mean he likes to play with people's (i.e. women's) feelings.
You did the right thing, stopping him kissing you. He would have probably taken that as a sign that you would agree to other stuff as well.... (read in full...)
How could she have a three year sexual affair with this guy, and still have sex with me??
Q. I recently discovered that my wife has been having a sexual affair with a single friend of ours for the past three years, usually when I was at work.... he is single and has had girlfriends in this three year period..She knew this because he came ...
A. 22 December 2016: It sounds like you have not had this out with your wife and this so-called "friend" yet. That is something you may need to do to help you move on.
A drunken one night stand or similar is one thing, but a 3 year affair did not "just happen".... (read in full...)
I'm in a FWB. Does his actions seem like he may like me more than sex?
Q. This is a question about FWB (friends with benefits) or a FB (f**k buddy) situation. There is a man that I have this type of relationship with. He confuses me because he is very affectionate with me around his friends, invites me to gatherings at ...
A. 22 December 2016: I think you are HOPING all these signs mean he is into you more than a normal FWB.
Why do you only have a FWB arrangement? I am guessing this was his idea? Why have you settled for it when you obviously want more? Have you had a discussi... (read in full...)
Why would my guy friend think I should continue to listen to him talking about his past relationships with other women? What should I say to him?
Q. Dear Cupid,my guy friend and I have been friends for a while and we wanted to take it to a next level but today we had a little spat it's crazy to me but it's whatever. Long story short he has a thing for high yellow complexed women and that's f...
A. 22 December 2016: Sorry, no idea what you mean by "high yellow complexed women" but, if all he does is go on about previous relationships, especially if he blames the women for everything that went wrong, then run for the hills. Eventually he will blame YOU for ... (read in full...)
Why does he ask? Why does he keep showing an interest in my dating?
Q. My friend's husband always asks me about my dating every time I see him and seems quite enthusiastic when he asks. Just before they got married a mutual friend said in front of my friend how her husband wanted to date me before they got together...
A. 22 December 2016: Who knows what is going on in his head? What is important is that, as the husband of your friend, you stay polite to him without being over friendly, out of respect to your friend.
In your shoes - and this is just me, so you may choose to handl... (read in full...)
Girlfriend's bisexual behaviour makes me want to call it quits
Q. Hi people! I'm seriously lost in a discussion with myself whether I accept it or not, but already when I'm doubting, I already know I don't... Anyhow. My girlfriend and her best friend are both bisexual and they have had a tight relationship as...
A. 21 December 2016: You already know what the score is here.
I appreciate that the younger generation seem to have "closer" friendships than was the norm years ago. However, your girlfriend's disregard for your feelings will eventually eat away at you and make you... (read in full...)
My disappointment and depression are acted out in tirades
Q. I am in a relationship with a man who is rather controlling and kind of immature. However, he won't change since we are older. I realize that to enjoy all the great things about him (and he is a wonderful companion for many reasons) I must develop ...
A. 21 December 2016: Big HUGS.
Watching this with interest as I recognize the same behaviour in myself. ... (read in full...)
How can I prevent my Aunty from showing me up in front of my boyfriend on Christmas Day? Title
Q. I've been with my partner for 6 years, and this will be the first time we are spending Christmas with my family. Though my boyfriend has met the rest of my family, this will be the first time he's meeting my aunty. She's actually a really nice pe...
A. 21 December 2016: I'm afraid I would be having a word with this "insensitive" aunt and pointing out you are now an adult and entitled to be treated with respect. Also I would be telling her, in no uncertain terms, that her "joking" spoils your Christmas and that she... (read in full...)
Would acquiring a new dog help me to forget the loss of my beloved previous dog?
Q. I recently loss my dog two years ago before valentine's day it was not a happier moment for me since I couldn't stopped thinking of my dog all. Can I still get a dog to make me happier so I won't end up missing my old dog at all?...
A. 21 December 2016: Your old dog will always have a special place in your heart.You will never"replace" them and neither should you try to do so, just as you would never "replace" any member of your family. There are so many dogs in shelters, desperate to fin... (read in full...)
I can't take any more with this man
Q. Help me please iam getting emontion abused. i have lost nearly 9 stone but he calls me fatty.wobbly and he knows iam hurt by it but laughts and carrys on.does a day go by when he never done it. I do everything for him.he dont seem to be happy unless ...
A. 20 December 2016: I bet he is no Brad Pitt. Am I right?
Is there anything he is insecure about? A small appendage perhaps? Every time he calls you names, retaliate with calling him "needle dick" or "pin prick" or something else which will hurt him. Give him a ta... (read in full...)
How can I stop her spreading false rumours ? How can I get her to fess up and tell the truth?
Q. I had a friend who I used to be close to some years back. I used to babysit her children when she was in hospital free of charge and generally be helpful. As the years passed the friendship changed. I moved to a more distant area and she rarely ...
A. 20 December 2016: She is a sad screwed up individual who is lying about what these terrible things you have allegedly done to her to get sympathy because she obviously thrives on attention.
People WILL eventually see through her because she will need another ... (read in full...)
I love her but don't know to what extent I love her
Q. I am facing a dilemma. Whether to marry, or to leave my girlfriend. I am inexperienced, and I need your opinion on what our relationship looks like to you, and what you think I should do. I also would like to hear what you think is important in a ...
A. 20 December 2016: In my experience - and I am a notorious "people watcher" and have seen this many times - people who marry because they have two options: get married or split up - inevitably split up fairly quickly anyway. They are being virtually bullied into ... (read in full...)
Why does he do this to me?
Q. I've been on and off with a guy I've liked for 2 years. But we haven't had sex. I have tried everything with this guy because I really am unsure of his intentions as he has told me he likes me but nothing's changed. He doesn't meet me when he is ...
A. 19 December 2016: Blimey, how long are you going to wait for something to change? Why are you so hooked up on this man who toys with you and gives you nothing real?
Are you sure this man does not have a partner already and is not just keeping you as a Plan B in cas... (read in full...)
Was it wrong to raise a glass at the graveside?
Q. I am involved in a bit if an argument. A mutual family friend passed away aged 49 from breast cancer. On her 50th birthday some of the family (not her family) and friends took some champagne and celebrated her birthday around her grave. The took ...
A. 19 December 2016: Sadly, whatever you do in life, someone will feel they should be offended by it.
People view death in different ways. Some celebrate a person's life while others mourn their death. Some go to the grave to feel close to the deceased while others p... (read in full...)
I need to stop his demands
Q. Hi, i have been sharing for some time with a friend. He start looking for me and sharing with me. But it become a friend with benefits relationship, which i see was a mistake. Although he told me he isnt dating other girls, i dont believe him. A ...
A. 19 December 2016: If you are happy to settle for being one of who know how many women in his life, then there is no problem. You are both consenting adults.
However, if you are looking for a proper relationship, where you can trust your partner, then this guy is q... (read in full...)
We disagree about matter of religion! Any advice?
Q. Hi everyone! I thought it might be a good idea to hear some impartial opinions on an issue I have been dealing with in my relationship. So my boyfriend and I are both Christian, though I only decided to be baptized when i was 14 while he ...
A. 19 December 2016: As someone who had a strict religious upbringing (including "forced" - if that is the word you choose - baptism, holy communion, confirmation, etc), I have to admit that now, as an adult, I find myself very cynical about the whole religion thing. I ... (read in full...)
Is my supervisor falling for me?
Q. Hello, There is a supervisor at my job who I would always have small talk with and she's very accommodating when I ask her for something work wise. Sometimes I'm so busy I don't get the time to talk to her. I can admit that I do find her attract...
A. 19 December 2016: Ha ha! Brilliant! If she is friendly, she fancies you. If she is not friendly, she fancies you. Get you!
She is being a supervisor. Her job is to keep in contact with her staff. The fact that she is "very accommodating" work wise means nothing ... (read in full...)
Should I write my bus driver crush a Christmas card?
Q. well I seen the bus driver I have a crush on who I think is about 36, I am 33. he is always shy but extra nice towards me and talks very low and mild mannered….so as I am getting on the bus today, he just cheeses and grins with all 32 teeth and says ...
A. 19 December 2016: Take it from someone whose brother is a bus driver: flirting is part of the job (on good days). My brother is older than this guy, in a happy relationship, but flirts with many of his regulars to pass the time, especially at this time of year.
... (read in full...)
Should I stay or go? If I walk away from this, then what if I never meet anyone else who will love me?
Q. Hi, I've been with my boyfriend 3 and a bit years and we've lived together just over a year. We've just put down a deposit on our first home together and everything should be great but I have doubts. My boyfriend used to be so sweet an...
A. 18 December 2016: You two have got into a rut. You need to sit your boyfriend down and tell him this is make or break - and mean it.
Yes, relationships do settle down, and are not always like they are at the beginning. However, affection should always be part of ... (read in full...)
I feel as though everything in my life is slowly falling apart. But how can I start to address these issues?
Q. Where did it all go wrong? :( I've never had a large circle of friends but I was happy on my last year a total school, having roughly about 5-7 friends whom I spoke with daily. As we all parted for our next journey, we lost touch. I now only sp...
A. 18 December 2016: Christmas time, with all the adverts of people having fun with hundreds of close friends and family, always drives home to people how poorly their lives compare to the advertisers' dream.
Your life sounds totally normal for your age. Sadly we... (read in full...)
Have I completely disrespected my boyfriend, when I had no intention of doing that?
Q. I went out on an unexpected night out with a work friend on Friday. We thought we'd just get a bite to eat and a few drinks after work but we ended up having one too many and never got home until 2:30am. We had dinner and went to a few bars. ...
A. 18 December 2016: Lesson for the future: limit your alcohol intake. You were lucky that nothing worse than this happened. You could have had your drinks spiked by the group of men you were talking to and ended up being taken advantage of in more ways than one.
... (read in full...)
How can I be so hung up on someone I barely know?
Q. I'm finding things really hard. It's just who I am but I seem to get so hung up on people. Recently met a guy and had a really great first date. He asked me to his for our second date and he cooked a meal for me. It was really great and i didn...
A. 18 December 2016: You are hanging all your hopes of happiness on this guy. You need to get a busy social life, then you will not be sitting at home, just waiting for him to contact you.
I did cringe that, after one date, you felt it was ok to go to this guy's ho... (read in full...)
I want him to be more assertive in bed
Q. I'm going out with someone who's very quiet during sex and it turns me off. I sort of like this person, but in bed, while I'm sucking him he just stays there, eyes closed like a Buddha ( and he takes forever to come, like 30 plus minutes, Is that ...
A. 18 December 2016: I don't think you are ever going to turn this nice guy into the assertive sexual partner you are looking for. (For the record, many women would love to have a partner who is affectionate in bed as opposed to acting like a porn actor.) I would f... (read in full...)
I really hate my name
Q. My birth name is Sarah, and it makes me sick. This is a trivial problem compared to some of the things people are dealing with, but I REALLY hate the name. I'm not a kid going through a phase. Ever since I can remember, I have always resented ...
A. 18 December 2016: I doubt you will ever get your family to call you anything different. After all, they have called you Sarah all your life. Going forward, there is nothing to stop you introducing yourself to new people as Rose, or any other name you would prefer... (read in full...)
Is it my fault I can't make a man love me?
Q. There are numerous books titled, "Make any man fall in love with you," or "Make any man want you" with things explaining how to make it happen. I haven't ever tried the advice from these books on anyone yet. These books make it seem like making...
A. 18 December 2016: Groan. Self help books. These books prey on people's insecurities and seldom, if ever, have much to offer in terms of good advice. No, of course you can't MAKE someone fall in love with you. There is no scientific formula or spell for making this ... (read in full...)
Are FWB supposed to be this attached?
Q. We didn't have sex. We cuddled and made out. No hj or bj, no touching of my bottom private either. He was being extremely sweet (interlock fingers, kissing forehead, cheeks, palm, etc) but I dump that as an act of fwb. I didn't text him the fol...
A. 18 December 2016: You two need to talk about what is important: YOU. We cannot guess what is in his head but, for what it's worth, he is acting (from what you describe) like someone who really cares for you.
I am rather confused about your "arrangement" though. ... (read in full...)
I always end up forgiving people who offend me
Q. Hello :). I have a question. I wonder, no matter how much I get angry to those people who offend me, I always end up on forgiving them. I remember this one situation when one of my friends had a fight and to my extreme shock I was involved and I wa...
A. 18 December 2016: There is no point in holding onto resentment and anger. It will just eat away at you and make you bitter. I bet you are far happier than people who hold grudges because you just live in the present and get on with life, forgetting and forgiving the ... (read in full...)
How do I play this?
Q. I have this co-worker and I like her but the huge problem is she is also dating and has a child with another co-worker. They have been dating for a while. So, anyway they are going through a rough patch and thats putting it very loosely. Well, ...
A. 17 December 2016: Be careful. She could be sounding you out to do something to make her partner jealous. It could lead to hurt for you in more ways than one.
A big difference between men and women is that, when women vent, they want someone to listen to their pr... (read in full...)
My inappropriate boss or My boss wants to grab my ass
Q. Hello everyone! I'm in a bit of a pickle. Naturally, I'm a very bubbly energetic person. I hate awkwardness so I do my best to make fun of myself and include others. Especially at work considering, everyone can be so stiff at times. I got ...
A. 17 December 2016: I suspect that, by allowing this to carry on for so long, you have inadvertently given him the message that you are ok with how he acts towards you. I wouldn't mind betting that you laugh along with him when he does this. Am I right? You reall... (read in full...)
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