My boyfriend thinks he is funny. I don't. I'm tired of it
Q. My boyfriend finds his jokes funny but I don't. I have a virus and am feeling low and mentioned that I was in a pantomine next month. His reply was "Well Im sure they can find another ugly sister somewhere." Im not even playing that part and just ...
A. 5 November 2016:
If you find his sense of humour childish, treat it accordingly. Roll your eyes and do a fake hysterical laugh, holding your ribs like they are hurting from laughing. Then stop instantly and change the subject.
He probably doesn't realize how ... (read in full...)
I don't match his ideal. Should I worry?
Q. Hiya I've been with my boyfriend now for 4 years when we first met he told me he likes women that have long blonde hair and pale blue eyes it never bothered me when we met as I thought nothing of it but lately these last few months any blonde haired ...
A. 5 November 2016: Why has this suddenly reared its head after 4 years together? Did he always leer and you just didn't notice, or it didn't bother you, or has he only recently started leering?
How good is your relationship? If you can't talk about things and disc... (read in full...)
How can I tell my wife that her sister has started to appear in my fantasies?
Q. My wife and I are generally very open with eachother about our fantasies. They usually just come out during intimacy. Lately, however, I've been having a fantasy that I want to be a bit more subtle when I tell her about it. My new fantasies have ...
A. 5 November 2016: One word: DON'T.
However you phrase it, your wife is bound to have niggling doubts about you feeling attracted to her sister.
For your wife's peace of mind, find someone else to fantasize about, like some cute celebrity (there must be a... (read in full...)
My landlady still hasn't given me a lease to sign but is charging me extra rent for each time my boyfriend stays over. How do I handle this?
Q. Hey guys. Never been in this situation before and could really use a second opinion or two. I moved into a houseshare with a live-in landlady at the beginning of last month. I started off renting a single room, for which my landlady had sti...
A. 5 November 2016: Why are YOU paying for your boyfriend to stay over? Can't he put his hand in his pocket and pay the £10 on the night he stops over? He can't expect to have lodgings for free. After all, he may be YOUR boyfriend but he is nothing to your landlady ... (read in full...)
My friend will not stop talking about her sex life !
Q. Firstly, i'm an introvert, so I tend to get annoyed pretty fast with someone's presence if they're always around. Secondly I tend to bottle up how I feel for the sake of being polite and swallow my dislike in order to put the other person's c...
A. 5 November 2016: I feel your pain. I have a very similar friend who has been a rock for me in bad times but does insist on sharing far too much for my comfort level - everything from how frustrated she is that she hasn't had a boyfriend for a while, how she would ... (read in full...)
Ex has started dating an 18 year old guy! How do I deal with this shocking news?
Q. My ex boyfriend (3 year relationship, broke up with me 6 weeks ago due to him feeling neglected due to my depression and OCD) told me this week that he is now in a relationship with an 18 year old boy... My ex and I are both 27....... One week ...
A. 5 November 2016: Yes, it must have been a shock to find this out, and I do understand you having difficulty coming to terms with this on 3 levels - the speed with which it happened, the fact your boyfriend has suddenly discovered his gay side and the age of the new ... (read in full...)
Was I right to kick it into touch?
Q. I am feeling so crushed and confused right now. I was in a relationship and I thought he was perfect for me, good to me, great to my little girl. I was great friends with his Mum. Then on Saturday I was having coffee with his Mum and his brother ...
A. 4 November 2016: Yes, you over-reacted BIG TIME!
The least you could have done was talk to him and let him explain. While I agree he should have mentioned it, and hiding it just makes it look suspicious, just dumping him without even telling him what he has done... (read in full...)
My boyfriend's parents don't approve of us marrying
Q. Hi , So i have been dating this guy for 2 years now and initially when i told him that i would like to marry in the future and if he can marry me then i will be ok to go out with him , he was fine with it . I am facing tremendous pressure to get m...
A. 3 November 2016: It sounds like this guy's family is (understandably) very important to him.
If you do get married, your marriage could be a constant source of friction between your husband and his family. Perhaps this is why he is having doubts about going ah... (read in full...)
Should I give up on the guy I've been seeing?
Q. Hello I will start from the beginning. While at college I got very close to one guy in my year, we will call him Harry (he's not really called Harry). We had a 'bit of a thing' for 2 years, he would stay at my house, we would disappear at hou...
A. 3 November 2016: Wow! All that time and you have no idea whether you are in a relationship or not?
And you are afraid of being alone at the (maximum) age of 21?
Sweetheart, you have your life ahead of you. Start dating other men. You will either find some... (read in full...)
He'll only communicate with me via the dating site
Q. Help, I have been messaging a guy for 4 months on a dating site. We seem to have alot in common and message for hours maybe 2 times a week. But we have never met and i have never heard his voice. He wont share his phone number with me or txt my ...
A. 3 November 2016: He's definitely "otherwise engaged" when he is not messaging you.
Or he is someone you know who is playing with you and won't let you have his number or hear his voice for fear you will recognise him (or her even!)
Thank him for his time, sa... (read in full...)
The man I'm dating keeps asking for sex
Q. Hello. Looking for some advice. I have been single for 17 years and dating the last eight years. Have had a few relationships that lasted six months. I have had a lot of bad luck in relationships. Seems like men don't want a serious relationship. ...
A. 3 November 2016: Two weeks and he is pawing at you all the time and asking when you will have sex with him? He is either very out of practice at dating, immature or only interested in sex. Let's give him the benefit of the doubt and say it is one of the first two. ... (read in full...)
Does my mom really love me or am I just a pawn for her? And why is she so materialistic when it comes to the question of my marriage?
Q. I don't know how to put this. Some background: I left my bf on my parents advise because he's not a good guy. I realised that I'm in a bad relationship and broke up. Now, my parents talk about arranged marriage on and off. I'm okay with meetin...
A. 2 November 2016: I think, first and foremost, you need to be guided by what YOU think about any future partners. While you can be guided by your parents (particularly your mother), you are the one who will have to build a long relationship with the man in question ... (read in full...)
Has she blocked me and cut off all ties? She seems to have dropped off the face of the earth!
Q. Okay i met this girl over a month ago everything was going great ! i found out the girl i was seeing was engaged or atleast that was what facebook said to her roomate who is a girl/her best friend. we had soo much fun together and the connection was ...
A. 2 November 2016: I find it incredible that you found our she was allegedly engaged yet did not ask her about it or discuss it with her but just carried on as "normal". How long were you going to carry on like that? Or did you not think it counted because the other ... (read in full...)
My boyfriend doesn't want anymore children and wants me to have an abortion
Q. Hiya everyone I've been with my boyfriend for 3 years we have a 11 month old daughter I have another daughter from a previous relationship the problem is I've just found out I'm pregnant again but he doesn't want any more children he thinks I should ...
A. 31 October 2016: The question of why,at your age, you are pregnant if it wasn't planned isn't something for me to ask, but I do have to wonder what you were both thinking to find yourselves in this situation. In this day and age, when contraception comes in so many ... (read in full...)
I don't want to have anything to do with my family ... ever again!
Q. I want to go far away from my family without telling them where I am going and never ever wanting any contact with them again. I don't know if anyone here knows how it feels to be manipulated by family members till you become a dry well then th...
A. 31 October 2016: People can only treat you the way you allow them to treat you. I think you need to learn to be more assertive, to say "no" and mean it. You need to make yourself your #1 priority and look out for your own needs.
Personally I found it very emp... (read in full...)
We had planned to go to a party but my behaviour seems to have scared him off!
Q. i was a fat awkward teenager, and was new to a school where i got bullied by a guy and girl , a lot. But i moved on and let things go.Recently after 10 years the guy got back in touch with me.Initially i did not feel like talking to him, because i ...
A. 31 October 2016: Under the influence of alcohol, all the hurt surfaced from when you were a child at school, when you were bullied by this guy, and you said what was on your mind.
Do you really want to see this guy, considering what bad memories he brings u... (read in full...)
Can't shake feeling that ex will come back
Q. My ex and I had a LDR for 1 month shy of 2 years. During the relationship there were many fights, and we'd often break up and reconcile constantly - sometimes multiple times a month. I'm very aware that a bulk of our problems came from me lying to ...
A. 30 October 2016: And yet, despite this deep emotional bond, you still could not stop yourself lying to him. Why? Your ex sounds like he has had enough of your lies, and who can blame him? Rather than "moving on", by which I assume you mean getting into ano... (read in full...)
I'm on vacation with girlfriend but found out she wants to break up with me. What do I do now?
Q. Ok so I'm on holiday in Tenerife with my girlfriend of 4 months and I have just found out she wants to end it with me either during or after the holiday. I've read messages between her and her mum who is encouraging her to "get shot as I'm not good ...
A. 30 October 2016: How horrible for you. I feel your pain, I really do.
I think the only way you are going to salvage anything from this - and by "anything" I mean your pride - is to either tell her you don't feel the relationship is working and that you two shou... (read in full...)
I want to dump him but don't want to hurt him
Q. I go out with this boy and he loves me so much and I don't want to hurt him, but I don't love him as much. I want to dump him but I'm afraid that he will hate me and possibly regret ever going out with me. Any advice?...
A. 30 October 2016: If you are old enough to date, then you are old enough to finish a relationship if it is not right for you. ("Dump" sounds so much more vicious than the experience has to be.) And you also have to accept that your boyfriend MAY hate you after you ... (read in full...)
I'm dating my friend's ex wife and don't know how to tell him but if I don't she will!
Q. Greg [age:40] was my [age:27] roommate for 5 months and we have been friends ever since. He would tell me about how he was madly in love with his wife Crystal [Age:30], but they fought too much, that's why they were trying separation for a couple...
A. 29 October 2016: #1: There is no such thing as "bro law". That is just rubbish. The fact that someone once had a relationship with someone else does not give them any rights over that person going forward. Their relationship is over. Your girlfriend is a free agent. ... (read in full...)
I've never dated and have started wondering what's the point?
Q. A bit of background info. I'm a 25 year old guy whose never been on a date or with a girl at all. For as long as long as I can remember i've severely lacked the confidence in myself to approach a girl i like let alone ask her out and the few times I ...
A. 29 October 2016: If you hadn't put your age, I would have assumed you were a lot older than you are (i.e. around 50 or older). You haven't "missed out" on anything - yet. Yes, some people start dating when they are still in school, but many others don't start till ... (read in full...)
My mother is draining the life out of me
Q. I can not handle my mother anymore. I don't know what to do. I don't even know where to start to explain the situation. I'll start with what happened most recently. I was supposed to come down this weekend to help her pack and clean her apartm...
A. 29 October 2016: You can't control what others say or do, but you CAN control how you react to it.
Stop allowing her to treat you the way she does. If she starts shouting at you on the phone, say "I am going now, mum. I will speak to you when you have calmed d... (read in full...)
I've fallen in love with this guy, but after our complicated past together I don't know where we stand. How do I handle seeing him again ?
Q. Hi guys... I'll start from the beginning. I have met someone at university two yeas ago who I have a very long history with ever since then. We met in our second year after he just enrolled.We officially met at a party I was throwing in my h...
A. 28 October 2016: My guess is he enjoys the challenge, as "bad boys" do. You have not allowed him to have sex with you (and he knows you are still a virgin) so he will keep drifting off to have sex with other people when he loses interest in winning you over. Then, ... (read in full...)
Guy wants me to swing with him
Q. Me and this guy have been, not dating, but exclusive FWB. He been wanting a threesome. I ask what his other fantasy is. Sex in public. Lesser of two evils, I agreed to try. So he's been dragging me to sex shops. 6 months into the "relationship", he ...
A. 28 October 2016: Why are you so scared to tell him to push off? Are you afraid you will not find anyone else to abuse you and take advantage of you? Do you not want a real relationship with someone who values you as a person and who takes your sexual wishes into ... (read in full...)
I don't think his behaviour is ok. He told me to 'get over it'. What should I do?
Q. A few weeks ago after a night out I ended up "making out" with a co worker that I'd liked for ages. He basically said that he'd had feelings for me for a while too and hadn't really felt that way before. We texted for a while afterwards until...
A. 27 October 2016: Hold your head high, and walk away with dignity. Be pleasant and professional if you need to speak to him about work. Treat him like someone you don't really know if work is not involved.
And stop watching him in social settings. You are only set... (read in full...)
My sister is aggressive and opinionated. Would it be OK if I skipped Christmas this year and stayed home to avoid my sister?
Q. I'm having a dilemma over Christmas Day and I could do with some advice. I have a small family consisting of my sister, mother and grandmother. i didn't get on particularly well with my sister- we only see each other three times a year at family o...
A. 27 October 2016: Ah, Xmas. The time for stress and enforced time with people you would not normally feel you had to see.
While I totally agree life is too short to spend with people who you don't like (regardless of family links), there are others' feelings... (read in full...)
Need advice on dealing with a demanding mother
Q. How can I deal with my demanding mother? I'm a 34 year old married mother of three and yet my own mother dictates my entire life. She's had health problems on and off for the last 7 years and when she was at her worst, I had to quit my job and ...
A. 26 October 2016: This is emotional blackmail, pure and simple. Your mother has learned how to control you by throwing tantrums when you won't do as she wants. The only way to deal with this is the same as you would with a child who throws tantrums: don't ... (read in full...)
Should I hang in there in this relationship? Or just express my feelings and move on?
Q. Sooooo it seems my estranged bf and I are done done. Short backstory, we've been friends for 10 years, we dated for 3 1/2 and last year I broke up with him. I was frustrated with our development, i didn't feel supported with help with bills and the ...
A. 26 October 2016: I feel your pain. Having a partner who you feel you have to mother all the time is a real deal breaker for a lot of people, not to mention a total passion killer. If everyone actually learned true independence, I believe a lot fewer relationsh... (read in full...)
He has gone cold on me and appears to be upset with me. Any helpful advice?
Q. Dear Aunts There was a guy pursuing me and flirting with me for weeks. I did not notice the attraction initially. I then returned the flirting. We have exchanged numbers and we have spoken a little. He has now gone cold on me. He still lo...
A. 24 October 2016: So I take it from the last paragraph of your post that you are only interested in answers which urge you to chase this guy? Sorry, I'm out in that case.
You have made yourself available and he has chosen to back off. You basically have two choi... (read in full...)
My ex flaunts his new g/f in my face but behind her back he's still in contact with me
Q. I split from my ex earlier this year and found out two weeks later that he was already with someone else (although chances are that she was already in the pipeline). My ex has rubbed his relationship with his new partner in my face- even turni...
A. 24 October 2016: While I can totally understand the desire to tell her what he is doing, think it through before you do anything like that. A year down the line, would you be proud of yourself for doing it? Or would you proud of yourself because you held your head ... (read in full...)
Crushing for my boss. How do I get over this? How do I let it go?
Q. Hi guys! So let me just get straight to it... I can't stop thinking about my boss, despite all my attempts to avoid him. It all started about 6 months ago when I went on a job interview for a few car dealerships. At my last interview for th...
A. 22 October 2016: You let this go by reminding yourself, over and over, that he is MARRIED! Whether he likes you or you like him, or whether he thinks you are too young for him is totally irrelevant. Put yourself in his wife's shoes and think what it would do to h... (read in full...)
My friend found my girlfriend on a dating site
Q. I have been in an 18 month relationship with an extremely insecure girl who has been controlling, needy, and jealous of my past. I have often been aggressively accused of things that just dont exist. In spite of this difficulty, I have rode the ...
A. 22 October 2016: If this was the other way round (i.e. a female was asking the question about a male), everyone would advise you cut loose and run - as fast as possible. The answer is no different just because you are male and asking the question about a female.
... (read in full...)
My partner is more interested in pleasing his mother than me
Q. My fiancé and I have just discovered that I'm pregnant and our wedding was booked for the same month the baby is due so we've decided to bring it forward. We've given our small party of 40 guests the new date which is still 3 months away and ...
A. 22 October 2016: She can't get time off from a casual job to attend her son's wedding? What tosh.
Can you get her on her own and say something along the lines of "I think we have always got on well and you know I love you dearly, so for you to say you can't ge... (read in full...)
Should I tell my BF how I am feeling over talk of his ex? Or should I investigate if she is real?
Q. My boyfriend and I have been going out for one month now, but were friends for two years. I know all of his friends, but recently he's mentioned someone who he's never even spoken about before. Apparently, they used to be boyfriend and gi...
A. 22 October 2016: If she is imaginary, then she is no threat to you. If she is real she is STILL no threat to you.
I have a third option for you to consider. Why not just accept that he may have a past and that his past has made him the person he is today? ... (read in full...)
I had two great male friends but they have dropped me as a friend! I’m heartbroken. Leave them be? Or keep trying?
Q. Hi everyone. I had two male friends and I say had because neither of them will talk to me anymore..:( Things got a bit awkward in terms of friendship because they both told me they liked me. The first one; he asked to meet up and I made ...
A. 20 October 2016: They have both made it clear that they either want a proper relationship with you or nothing.
The choice is simple. Do you want to be in a boyfriend/girlfriend relationship with either of these guys?
I am guessing not. For either of them t... (read in full...)
Why would my ex want sex with me when he loves his girlfriend?
Q. why would my ex bf want to have sex with me so bad when he loves his girlfriend so much? me and him stay in the same hood, he is always with her but he will text me and tell me he misses sex with me and our relationship was not serious as I thought ...
A. 20 October 2016: He's hedging his bets. Perhaps the death of his girlfriend made him worry that others close to him will also leave him. If he has more than one person who is close to him, he stands a better chance of not being alone. At least that could be the way ... (read in full...)
I’m disgusted by his personal hygiene!
Q. I need to start by saying my boyfriend is usually wonderful. He is very sweet, generous and loving. But that just isn't enough. I feel so guilty to admit it, but he disgusts me. He always smells bad and doesn't brush his teeth or shower unless I ...
A. 20 October 2016: Eeeeeeewwwww! Gross! I feel your pain!
You must feel like you are in a relationship with a child and you are mommy, having to tell him to wash and clean himself.
At 19 years of age, he should be aware that he needs to shower and brush his te... (read in full...)
Why does my ex initiate conversations on skype?
Q. Why does my ex boyfriend initiate conversations with me daily on Skype when we're no longer together? He's been initiating conversations for about 2 weeks now. He also apologises when he is quiet on there and says 'I really hope you're okay'...
A. 20 October 2016: Because he is keeping you on the back burner in case whatever (whoever) he is doing doesn't work out.
How you respond depends on whether you feel comfortable being treated as a safety net. ... (read in full...)
Girlfriend's clothes are, 'Not acceptable to me'.
Q. Me and my gf are recently fighting over this issue that is her "Clothes". Sometimes she wears disgusting dresses which are revealing and I really don't like it. When I tell her not to wear such dresses she doesn't listen and gets agitated. The dres...
A. 20 October 2016: Perhaps if you focus on caring for her safety, rather than the fact you find it "disgusting" that she wears these clothes, you may stand a better chance of getting through to her?
She sounds like a feisty young lady who knows her own mind. Gi... (read in full...)
How do I move up this man's prioriies?
Q. I really like this guy I met through social media. we chat now and again, and then he goes quiet then suddenly he'll message me again. We talk mainly about music and I've tried to make new conversation but he goes quiet, then replies. Every new ...
A. 20 October 2016: Wow! He is someone you have only casually chatted with on line about music, never actually met, but you can "see a future with him"?
Steady, tiger!
You share a taste in music. That is all you can be fairly sure about. (Even then you can't b... (read in full...)
Am I right to have these trust issues?
Q. A few weeks ago, my boyfriend went to his local pub, and he saw a married woman that he knew that day. I wasn't there at the time. She asked him to help her pick songs on the jukebox and then he said he danced with her. He said it wasn't intimate ...
A. 20 October 2016: Whaaaaaaaaaaaaat? Seriously?
So, in your world, if you are married you should never dance with anyone else again? Even if their spouse is there and has no problem with it? Even if it is "twirling"?
He told you he "managed to get away" which ... (read in full...)
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