Do I have a realistic chance with her?
Q. So, here's the situation: there's a girl I've known about 8 eights that I've just received starting seeing as more than a friend. I met her at church about 8 years ago and we weren't especially close then. She went off to school and I saw her very ...
A. 31 January 2017: IF Rodney moves to California . . . IF they split up . . . Too many ifs - IF you get what I mean, ha ha.
Sounds like she really likes you - and another IF: if you had made a move earlier, Rodney would not be in the picture - but she is currentl... (read in full...)
Why would my co-worker buy me coffee and a muffin?
Q. Today one of my coworkers that I'm friendly with surprised me with coffee and muffin from a fast food place. I normally get to work an hour early because parking spaces are scarce--first come first serve. When I arrived, he came to my window and...
A. 30 January 2017: You say you are "friendly" with this colleague, so I don't really think his gesture was out of place. Getting you coffee and a muffin was a nice thoughtful thing to do.
It's funny how we are all different and the thing which would have bothered... (read in full...)
I want a prettier girlfriend who cares about being fit and healthy. What do I need to do?
Q. I want a prettier girlfriend. I've been with mine for a few years now and it seems wrong to leave. I love her but the lack of effort (exercise counts) is making me less attracted to her. Bringing it up makes me the bad guy. What should I do?...
A. 30 January 2017: Does your girlfriend know this could be a deal breaker for you or do you just casually mention it occasionally? Shallow as it sounds on the surface, I do completely understand where you are coming from. It take two people to make a relationship w... (read in full...)
How can I get the physical affection aspect re-started in our relationship? The cuddles have stopped.
Q. Hi everyone. I'm not sure what to do. My husband and I mostly have a great relationship, but for the last few months he seems to touch me only for sex. I like sex, but I'm starting to resent it and not want to have it when it seems to be the only...
A. 29 January 2017: A woman not wanting sex with her partner is most frequently a sure indication that something is wrong with the relationship. Women need to feel loved to want sex, whereas men need sex to feel loved. You - quite reasonably and understandably, ... (read in full...)
I feel I am just not good enough for anything, its affecting my life and future!
Q. How do I get over this overwhelming feeling that I'm just not good enough? I'm going to be 18 this year and I'm just sick of always feeling this way about everything. 1) I'm the middle child in my family, and this may sound really cliqué but it's...
A. 29 January 2017: First of all, big congratulations on being accepted by ALL the universities to which you applied. WTG girl! That is SOME achievement. Work hard while studying and you will achieve those grades as well. You would not be there if you were not capable. ... (read in full...)
When will he tell me he loves me, I don't want to say it first this time?
Q. When can I expect my boyfriend to tell me he loves me? What are some signs that will indicate that he feels that way? (even if not saying it) I'm well on my way to falling in love with him, but don't want to say it first this time. I have sai...
A. 29 January 2017: Instead of saying those specific three words, try something more light-hearted and less intense like hugging him and saying "You're great" or "You're such fun to be with". Say it in a light-hearted way, even ending it with a little laugh to show it ... (read in full...)
Should I give up on men? Is there such a thing as a normal guy? I want a relationship with a man.
Q. I have have asked for advice before here and wanted to come back a year later to ask maybe what I am doing wrong. I am a woman in my early 30s that has given up on love. I have only been with three men and two had a relationship with. Through t...
A. 29 January 2017: I have answered on your other question but just to add that I think you need to step back and have some ME time for a little while. You do NOT need a man at your side to be happy. Learn to be happy on your own and the right man will find his wa... (read in full...)
I am over chasing men. But without a man in my life, then how can I be happy?
Q. It seems since I have been 17 years old I have been chasing men. 13 years later an two bad relatiosnhios and a broken home(my parents are miserable together) I have had enough. A little back story ( since my early twenties I have done everythi...
A. 29 January 2017: First of all, have a big HUG. You are at a crossroads in your life and change is always difficult and uncomfortable at first, primarily because you are in unfamiliar territory and it is scary. Secondly, a big WELL DONE for realising the wa... (read in full...)
Can a man go from not wanting a relationship to wanting one?
Q. was dateing a man for a few months . I told him I wanted a relationship an he then told me he didn't want one . I broke it off with him . but he still tried to keep in contact with me . so now almost two years later . he contact me we talk . he then ...
A. 28 January 2017: Flake alert! Beware! Don't believe anything he says for a minute. At best he is desperate for a relationship and is telling you what he thinks you want to hear. At worst, he is making fun of you to see if you realize.
Yes, someone CAN go from not... (read in full...)
Why is he checking on his ex flings FB page after she unfriended him?
Q. Something happened a few months ago with my husband and an "ex-fling" of his. I was there when the incident occurred and it was just a bit of drunk stupidity on his part, which we are both fine with in our relationship - it was a private message ...
A. 28 January 2017: He is with YOU now. His ex is in the past for a good reason.
He is bound to feel curious though, especially when she has just unfriended him. Give him a break and let him work it out for himself.
I can't imagine this will be a big deal (especi... (read in full...)
Affair with my best friend but I have a partner of 18 years and a one year old that we had after years of trying. What do I do now?
Q. I've been with my partner for 18 years I do love him and we have a one year old which we tried for years to have. But for the last 3 year I have been having an affair with my best friend who's showed me so much love , a lot more love than I seem to ...
A. 28 January 2017: Well, you certainly can't have your cake AND eat it, so you need to make a decision. Your best friend/lover or your long term partner/father of your child? Your lover has absolutely given you the right ultimatum, so now it is down to YOU to decide ... (read in full...)
Is my boyfriend not attracted to me?
Q. So I have been with my bf for a year now. He's such a caring, supportive and generous guy. During our first weeks of relationship, he initiates sex more often but not the great even but these days,he doesn't anymore. Sometimes, he even has a hard ...
A. 28 January 2017: People have different sex drives. At the start of a new relationship, sex is usually more important and urgent than later, when things settle down a little. Perhaps he just has a low sex drive, in which case he will have to show you he loves you in ... (read in full...)
LDR boyfriend is dragging his feet about us moving in together
Q. I am in a long distance relationship and have been for almost four years.My finance live 88 miles away so I see him every weekend. The problem is he is dragging his feet for us to live together and I have become extremely resentful.He says we can ...
A. 28 January 2017: What are you getting out of this relationship? You go out once a year? He stashes money away while watching you struggle? He won't let you have a wedding or a honeymoon? I repeat, WHAT ARE YOU GETTING OUT OF THIS RELATIONSHIP? It seems to be all ... (read in full...)
I'm having doubts about his ability to stay faithful
Q. I have been with my boyfriend for about 8/9 months now. He is 29 and I'm 31. He is into sex a lot and has a really high sex drive. He needs to have sex everyday plus masturbate once a day on top of that. I am not always up for sex everyday, ...
A. 28 January 2017: Relationships are all about compromise and respect. If your sex drives are different, and he is not willing to compromise or show you enough respect not to cheat on you because he "needs" more sex, then you are on a hiding to nothing, regardless of ... (read in full...)
Our marriage is totally devoid of all physical contact!
Q. I am writing to you because I feel I have no one to tell. I have been married for 20 years to a woman who is the mother of my three children (19, 17 1nd 12). We haven't had sex since before the birth of our youngest child and its killing me. In f...
A. 28 January 2017: Sending HUGS as this sounds so sad.
You both sound like good people who have been dealt a challenging hand in life. Having a disabled child is hard work, physically and emotionally. It is draining and your wife - as primary carer, I assume -... (read in full...)
He is much older but I want to have sex with him
Q. I knew a guy at work. I'm 22 he is 41. A very sexy man. Do u think he will have something with me after sex. We decided to be friends with benefits. He is in a relationship with a 31 years old . We planned to have sex this weekend. Do you think is ...
A. 28 January 2017: Sweetheart, you are young and free. Why are you wasting time and energy on someone nearly twice your age who, worse still, is already in a relationship? Would you like someone hitting on your bloke if you were in a relationship? How would it make ... (read in full...)
How come I am not heartbroken?
Q. I had a huge crush on a girl for about 5 years. I went to school with her in high school, but now that I'm out I haven't spoken to her in person just over text. Recently I found out she just got a boyfriend, at first I thought I'd be all heart ...
A. 28 January 2017: The fact that you are writing in, asking this question, makes me wonder if you are really just in denial and making yourself believe you don't care - because to acknowledge you do care would hurt too much? Yes, I could be waaaaaaaaay off ... (read in full...)
I know we can solve any problems but he just acts distant!
Q. Hi I really need some male opinion on this, I was friends with this guy 3 years ago we started having sex without admitting that we were in a relationship which was what we both wanted at that time ( though it seemed like we had feelings for each...
A. 28 January 2017: And this is the reason "friends with benefits" arrangements don't really work long term - because the people involved have different expectations and different agendas.
You very obviously want a proper relationship with his guy (I bet you went alo... (read in full...)
Could my bf's avoidance of my compliments suggest he is cheating?
Q. I have been suspecting my bf has been unfaithful recently. Just sense a change. When having a text conversation this evening, I went on about how lucky I am to have him. What a good guy he is and how I am glad he is not like other men. I sai...
A. 28 January 2017: Yes, it is irrefutable proof he is cheating as he would have gushed back if he didn't have a guilty conscience. You need to dump the cheating scumbag immediately! I am pulling your leg of course, just to demonstrate to you how OTT your reactio... (read in full...)
Is my boyfriend pathetic? Or just stuck in his life at the moment?
Q. Ok, so...my boyfriend's truck broke down this past summer and I got a car about two or three months after. He could have got another by now had he saved better but idk. He spends his money on weed mostly and his phone bill and car insurance bill ...
A. 27 January 2017: Why are you worried about his feelings when he obviously doesn't give a stuff about yours?
You are not being a spoiled brat. You are just being far too accommodating and nice to this man who thinks his money is his and your money & stuff is his t... (read in full...)
I feel I have lost my future ....
Q. Last week i split with my boyfriend of 2 years . Yesterday my friend shocked me with some news , she joined a dating site for single parents as she is one, i helped her set up her account and started looking at profiles and thats when i saw my now ...
A. 27 January 2017: I am so sorry your ex turned out to be so feckless. It's absolutely no comfort at the moment to hear anyone say that you are better off without him, as you are hurting too much to get your head round that. However, in time you will realize that he ... (read in full...)
He gave me deadline to talk to my ex and when things didn't work out he ended things with me
Q. I need help to figure out who is the wrong one here. I'm 39 divorced and have a 10 years old daughter. My relationship with my ex is peaceful and it's just because we have a child together. I started dating for the first time, 3 years after divorce, ...
A. 27 January 2017: Blimey, lucky escape I would say.
What concerns me more though is that, if I am reading your post correctly, you stopped your daughter's father having access to her because a bloke you had known for a month told you to? If this IS the case and... (read in full...)
8 years ago my birth brother wasn't interested, now I've found him on facebook and want to contact him.
Q. I accidentally found my birth brother on facebook a few days ago and I don't know if I should contact him or what I would even say to not freak him out. My mother gave him up for adoption 30 years ago and though we did get in touch with him 8 years ...
A. 26 January 2017: As your main aim seems to be for your mother to be able to tell him how sorry she is that she had him adopted, in your shoes I would discretely try to make contact. However, if he is still adamant that he does not want contact with you, could yo... (read in full...)
Has anyone else dealt with something like this? My first serious girlfriend has since come out as a lesbian.
Q. I was a little bit of a late bloomer but in college I finally met a really amazing girl who became my first serious girlfriend and by that I mean that she was all my firsts: first kiss, first love, first sexual encounter. She had been with one...
A. 26 January 2017: There is no way you can "turn someone lesbian" so you really need to stop thinking it was something you did, or failed to do, which made her change sexuality. I have a lesbian friend who had a boyfriend when she was in college and even got eng... (read in full...)
I found out my brother has been having an affair. Should I tell his wife or keep quiet?
Q. My brother has been having an affair with a single woman who is 15 years his junior. It has been ongoing for more than 3 years. I am very close to his wife and kids and accidentally found out about it last week when he sent me a text meant for h...
A. 26 January 2017: At some point, this affair will come out. Most affairs do, especially ones which go on for any length of time. Then the hurt to his wife and kids will be immense. In your shoes, I would be putting pressure on your brother to end the affair, even... (read in full...)
Did my words really crush his wish to marry me? Or was he looking for an excuse to break up, and blame me, for his own reasons?
Q. I met a guy on dating site he is from Europe and I'm from Africa. We met in person 3 times, he met my family twice and its been 19 months since we are in a relationship. Before 4 months he gave me an engagement ring and I accept we have differe...
A. 25 January 2017: The only one I see being "disrespectful" is your man friend. If he is already talking/writing to you like that, then what will he be like if you were to get married and live together? Would he expect you to bow down to him and tell him he is right ... (read in full...)
Wife friended EX on Facebook and it has caused issues in our marriage
Q. One evening my wife was typing on her smartphone because she got a message on Facebook. It turned out, an ex-boyfriend wanted to friend her and she asked if it was OK. I asked her if he knew she was married and she said it was on her profile, so I ...
A. 25 January 2017: No matter what feelings your wife HAD for this lothario, she obviously realized, and still realizes, he is not for her. Her only mistake, if there was one, was to allow him to contact her at all. She was probably curious after all this time of no ... (read in full...)
I'm having trouble coping with my boyfriend's past. He was involved with several of my friends!
Q. Hello! I have been dating my boyfriend for a year now and before this we were good friends for 6 years. I am having trouble over some things he did in his past and I have struggled with these throughout all of our relationship. These prob...
A. 24 January 2017: Do YOU not have a past at all? Do you not have "baggage"?
What he went through in the past has made him the special person he is today We are moulded by our experiences. If he had not been through what he did, he would be very different now and ... (read in full...)
What's the purpose of relationships when all it does is give someone power to hurt you?
Q. Three years ago I was dating someone and it ended very horribly. She left me for another guy and it left me distressed beyond anything I had ever felt. I treated her with respect, listened to her when she spoke, and did what I thought was love her...
A. 24 January 2017: You are currently in a very strong position because you don't actually NEED a partner. Well done for escaping the abusive relationship; that must have been dreadful for you and it is little wonder you are now so insular.
However, once you have... (read in full...)
Is it degrading to let a guy ejaculate on you?
Q. When I was 15, my mother sat me down and had "the talk". She is very open and liberal, so we ended up talking about everything from sex and birth control to relationships and life in general. One of the things she was adamant about was that por...
A. 24 January 2017: You are not your mother. You don't have to have completely the same values as your mother. Your mother grew up in different times, when attitudes towards sex and porn were not as liberal and diverse as they are these days. Her values and attitudes ... (read in full...)
Should I fight for this relationship? And if I do how do I show him that I really care?
Q. 3 months ago I met someone and for first time in a very long time, I started having feelings for a guy. I fell in love very hard. But feels like I keep doing stuff to mess it up. He says he loves me so much and I am his world but also feels like ...
A. 24 January 2017: I always hear BIG alarm bells ringing when someone uses the "D" word - disappointed. It is a word people use to make others feel guilty and to control them. Look how it has made YOU feel. Also - and this really did worry me - grand declaratio... (read in full...)
Should I stop holding back? I'm scared to get hurt
Q. Hey all Till now, I've had very hurtful experiences with the guys I've been involved with/liked. I always feel like I've been abandoned or left to myself. And that the other person doesn't feel any remorse in doing so. I know I'm probably wrong ...
A. 24 January 2017: The very fact that you need to ask this tells me you actually KNOW this guy is not right for you. Just because he ticks ONE of your boxes AT THE MOMENT, does not mean he is a good bet. You are walking into this with your eyes wide open. You a... (read in full...)
My son punched a guest, when guest videoed him and girlfriend having sex.
Q. My son is 19 he has been dating his girlfriend since he was 16 and she was 15. We have a pretty open relationship with them. Over the weekend they went out to a party with their friends and at our house my husband and I threw a surprise party for ...
A. 23 January 2017: I want to adopt your son! What a wonderful young man.
No, using his fists was possibly not justified but there was drink involved and there was very rude invasion of private space involved. It's not like he and his girlfriend were making out in p... (read in full...)
How can I tell him that I suffer anxiety without making it sound like an excuse for needy behaviour?
Q. Hi everyone, I suffer from anxiety, and I've suffered it for a fair few years. I've had a boyfriend now for a few months. I haven't told him yet. So when I get anxious I tend to text him quite a bit and I've noticed that his texts are becoming l...
A. 22 January 2017: What do you mean by anxiety? Do you mean you worry when you are apart from your boyfriend and need reassurance? Is it a jealousy thing?
I wouldn't make a big deal of this. If you have managed to conceal it from him for months, then it obviousl... (read in full...)
My wife left me for her ex, who found her on Facebook and now wants to come back. Should I give her a second chance ?
Q. My wife was contacted by an ex on Facebook who first said he only wanted to be friends, then indicated he wanted more. She showed me his messages and told me they dated in high school and college and she broke up with him twice. The first time...
A. 22 January 2017: I need to correct you on one point. The ex boyfriend didn't start contacting YOUR EX WIFE when you were going through a rough patch; how would he have known? SHE contacted HIM. Get it the right way round. As soon as the going got a bit tough, she... (read in full...)
How can I get him back? Or has the damage been done?
Q. My boyfriend broke up with me tonight and its my fault. I don't know how to fix this situation . I was with my boyfriend when 2 male friends who have a crush on me wrote me on Facebook. Ive known them since before my current relationship...
A. 22 January 2017: If it hadn't been this, it would have been something else petty and insignificant. He could easily have turned around and said "Heh, I'm not comfortable with these guys flirting with my girlfriend. Tell them to do one." Instead he completely over... (read in full...)
I need to let go of the past. Can someone give me some advice on how to do that?
Q. Me and my significant other have been in a relationship for 5 months, however, I've been in love with her (the love was for the most part unrequited) for about 3 years. We've started to plan a future with each other. But recently, we dis...
A. 22 January 2017: You both need to be totally honest before she ups sticks and moves.
YOU need to realize that most people come with a past and that their past is what has made them the people they are today. You need to work at letting go of the past, because ... (read in full...)
I met a nice man but don't connect or feel physically attracted. Do I end things or settle?
Q. Hello need your help. I am a 53 year old single mother. I have been single for 17 years and started dating 7 years ago. Was busy going to school, taking care of ailing parents and raising my kids. Have had two serious 6 month relationships and one 3 ...
A. 22 January 2017: If you find it hard to find things to talk about, and if you feel no connection to this nice guy, then he is simply not for you. It is not fair on yourself or him to keep things going if you are sure they will lead nowhere. Keeping him ticking ... (read in full...)
My friend won't say if he is gay or bi should I ask if I can give him a bj?
Q. I've never done it before but I would like to have sex with this guy I know, I think he is bi,but I can't be sure, I stop by his house every one in a while,I never known him to be with a woman since we have been friends five or six years,he spends a ...
A. 22 January 2017: I have a male friend who I have worked with for years. In all that time he has not had a girlfriend. He used to live with his parents until he bought his own house a few years ago. And guess what? He is NOT gay! He just hasn't met a woman he wants... (read in full...)
Christmas gift gone wrong
Q. For Christmas this year, my BF got me a weekend at a winery with tour, tasting, and live music. We were so excited to get away for the weekend. I was almost in tears over such a thoughtful gift. It was our first Christmas together and the 1st ...
A. 22 January 2017: Do you know what happens when we make plans? Life. Life happens (or death in this case) and plans have to change. I can fully understand why you are upset because you were so looking forward to this "perfect gift". Cherish the thought that you... (read in full...)
My ldr partner wants to do fun time while apart but I feel extremely unconfident doing so since he watches so much porn
Q. My partner is overseas and wants me to video chat him and call him for fun time . The problem is that that he watches loads of porn and I can't help but feel self conscious that I could never be as sexy or anywhere near as good at exciting him as ...
A. 22 January 2017: Honey, men will watch whatever porn is in front of them. Very few are bothered what the women look like (within reason). It is just a means to an end. It does not mean they fancy them or lust after that body type (unless they have very rigid ... (read in full...)
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