How do I deal with this? Whenever I invite a friend over she invariably does not show up
Q. I have a friend I've known for several years. She has a very frustrating habit in which she will set a day with me to meet up, and then not show up. I really don't understand how you can simply disregard to tell a person you are not coming and let ...
A. 8 February 2017: I think you SHOULD keep making plans - but do the same as she does and simply don't turn up. Sooner or later she will actually turn up and phone you and you can cheerfully say "Sorry, couldn't make it, but hope to see you soon".
But then rudeness... (read in full...)
How can I accept the fact that the man who loves me does not want to marry me?
Q. I am looking for some advice on how to deal with a situation. My partner and I are in our 50s and have been together for an incredibly happy 18 months. He is kind, considerate, generous, loving, and everything I could wish for. We are bo...
A. 8 February 2017: Sending hugs as this sounds like quite a painful situation for you.
I suspect this is a knee-jerk reaction to his divorce. A couple of years down the line, when the dust has settled and you two have a strong relationship, he may slowly come rou... (read in full...)
I'm torn between two guys. I'm wondering, what should I do?
Q. Hello anyone out there willing to give me advice. I seem to have gotten myself into a significant amount of a problem. I'm torn between two guys. One my High school sweetheart Man1 whom I went out with for around 4 and a half years. We'd always a...
A. 8 February 2017: To be honest, NEITHER of them is probably "the one", although Man1 sounds like a much better prospect than Man2.
It is not uncommon to outgrow relationships, especially when we are very young. You were with Man1 from a very early age and you are ... (read in full...)
My girlfriend's sexual past troubles me, What should I do?
Q. My girlfriend and i have been together for 8 months and we both are in love and have talked about a future. we both talked about pasts as well and got on the subject of sex. i was disgusted when she told me on how many people she slept with and...
A. 8 February 2017: Wow! Fancy her daring to have more of a sexual past than you! That will just never do! I am laughing of course. I mean, come on. She has got this stuff out of her system and now sounds ready to settle down a bit. Would you rather she was wondering ... (read in full...)
Advice please on raising girls
Q. Hi all, i just wanted to share my thoughts with you.. have you noticed people around us lately - the social media? People are all posing nude and doing sexy poses etc. Girls want to pose half naked. The butt (sorry) has become the women's most ...
A. 7 February 2017: My only tip would be to make them understand that the make-up and fashion industries are all based on women's insecurities. How do you get women to buy, for example, anti wrinkle cream? By showing them how unattractive wrinkles are and how much... (read in full...)
Does this married man fancy me?
Q. Does this matried man just like me or do you think he wants more? Reasons I think he does: Caught him staring at me and he smiled and shook his head a little. Saw him looking out of the corner of my eye and when I turned my head he averted his ...
A. 7 February 2017: I think the real problem here is that you are intrigued by him and put probably a lot more significance on everything he does/says than he possibly means. I wonder if he is wondering exactly the same about you are you are about him? For example... (read in full...)
We're engaged but I don't see a future
Q. Hi lately I feel like my relationship has no future we recently got engaged but he never wants to get married we have 1 child and he wants no more he never wants to buy a house together so I cannot see much of a future with this man I have always ...
A. 6 February 2017: I am puzzled. Why did you get engaged if you are not going to get married? What was the point? An engagement is merely a promise to marry in the future. Did you insist on an engagement ring? Was his compromise that he will get engaged but not ... (read in full...)
How do I proceed ? I want to ask her out and we are both shy people.
Q. I've known that somebody in my school has been attracted to me, and I have come to say for myself that I am attracted as well. However, I can say myself that I am a shy person and my ' crush ' is shy person (We usually talk to each other and get ...
A. 6 February 2017: Baby steps. Don't rush in with anything dramatic - and scary - like "will you be my girlfriend?". As you two already talk and get on well, you will have an idea what this girl's interests are. Is there a film you would both like to see? If so, s... (read in full...)
I saw a condom in his wallet and now it's gone!
Q. I am in a very deep pain. And I have no where to go and ask. Please help. I am married for 15 years. I have three kids. I saw a condom in my husband wallet when he went on a trip to New York with his friends. How i found out was Taking out money fo...
A. 6 February 2017: Now that he knows you have noticed the condom situation, he would be very foolish to carry on being careless - if that is, indeed, what he has been. You are going to drive yourself crazy wondering and checking. This is no way to live. Perhaps a ... (read in full...)
How do I handle this attention?
Q. There is somebody at school who keeps staring at me. It's become a daily thing now, and even my frieends have noticed it happening. Furthermore, I have realised that whenever somebody mentions my name to her she often blushes. This has been ...
A. 5 February 2017: She's got a crush on you. Relax and enjoy the attention. At your age it is unlikely to come to anything more than glances from a distance.
Unless, of course, you like her, then you could always start saying hi to her and see if she responds... (read in full...)
Has this man gone cold on me?
Q. Hi, I've been dating this guy for about 3 months now. He asked me to be his girlfriend on our third date. We get on really well and can actually have great conversations on our dates and through texts (he only likes to text as feels anxious ca...
A. 5 February 2017: There is no need to be aggressive. I would phone him rather than texting, as texts can easily be misinterpreted. He may leave the call to go to voicemail, in which case just leave a message saying you hope he is ok and asking him to let you know if ... (read in full...)
Boyfriend's behaviour is so upsetting
Q. My boyfriend is depressed lately, due to his abusive relationship with his father (who is visiting for a few months). My boyfriend is really really depressed lately. He said he wants to get some space. I agreed, but have been going through hell...
A. 5 February 2017: First of all, his depression is not your responsibility. Don't get dragged down by him. Secondly, has he been diagnosed as suffering from this condition, or does he just say he is depressed? Asking as many people just bandy the term around, say... (read in full...)
Help me sort out this tangle before it gets worse
Q. I'm in quite a difficult situation. My ex boyfriend was living on the streets recently. The battery on his phone had run out one night. He met this guy who was also living on the streets, and he borrowed the guy's mobile phone to speak to me. Me and ...
A. 5 February 2017: Just wanted to say it makes my blood boil that, in this "civilized" country, mentally ill people are living on the streets because we do not have the support they need. The government will always find money to bomb countries who have done us no wron... (read in full...)
Boyfriend's excuse didn't cut it with me
Q. So my boyfriend of 9 months didn't come to my sister's wedding yesterday. I was annoyed to start when he said he couldn't come a month before the wedding but when I heard his excuse I was more annoyed. I don't get on well with my family and ...
A. 5 February 2017: In fairness, it wasn't a last minute drop-out. He did tell you a month before, so you could easily have asked a friend to go as your "plus 1" if you felt so in need of support. Or was it just important to you to show off your boyfriend to your fam... (read in full...)
Any ideas how I can at least get him to talk about us having another child together?
Q. Hi My partner and I have a 2 year old daughter together I would love another as I have never wanted my child to be a only child We live together and are in a happy relationship we just recently got married we have been together 5 years. Just ...
A. 5 February 2017: Most situations in a relationship can be negotiated by compromise. This is one of the few which can't. It has to be all or nothing. In your shoes I would arrange a baby-sitter and go out for a meal/drink with him and tell him you need to understa... (read in full...)
Isn't this cheating? I'm distraught and stunned that he visited at least three mens' homes to masturbate
Q. I just found out my husband of 23 years, who has not had relations with me by his own accord for 12 years, more than half of my marriage, has been registered on gay and swinger websites. I found out all this on my own and have filed for divorce....
A. 5 February 2017: Sending hugs. An awfully painful situation to be in. It is irrelevant that your husband says this behaviour it not cheating if YOU see it as cheating. The most important factor is that his current behaviour is replacing the physical relatio... (read in full...)
18 year old senior at school. How could I attempt to seduce this teacher at my school?
Q. I am a 18 year old female in high school as a senior. I had this teacher for the first semester and over time just seemed to really like him for a lot of reasons mostly because of how intelligent he is. I am not a very sexual person and could...
A. 5 February 2017: It looks like you are in Canada and I have no idea what the law it there, but I will assume it is along similar lines to the UK.Regardless of whether you still take this teacher's classes, you are still at the school and your teacher could get into ... (read in full...)
He decided to take up on my offer on not using condoms. Why was he so willing to do this?
Q. I have been seeing this guy for a while and whenever we have sex, we always use protection. But there was this one time that we didn't because we both didn't want to. After that time we used a condom every time. We were talking about our sex li...
A. 5 February 2017: How late are you going to leave it before sorting something out? When you are pregnant and he has said "I told you I wasn't ready for kids" and has disappeared and left you with the responsibility? What are you going to do then? Terminate the pr... (read in full...)
What happened to my dream girl? Do I just go along with her? Or call off the wedding and be done with her?
Q. Sorry if this is long just bare with me because I need help. My girlfriend has ruined our relationship and I feel like she just wanted me for money. I need to know what other people think. I can't talk to my family or friends because they all...
A. 4 February 2017: Wow, if I were her I would have dumped your selfish greedy backside by now and not looked back! I can't believe YOU have the audacity and tunnel vision to call HER selfish and question HER desire for money when you have done what you have. Shaking ... (read in full...)
What can be done about my Gf's health? Don't want to break up break up with her, she's lovely and wonderful, when she is not down
Q. Hi aunts and uncles, I'm in need of some help, I think my girlfriend of 6 months has slid back into her depression, she has told me about how she had depression before. Background info: She is always briefly moody in the mornings and...
A. 4 February 2017: The poor girl sounds exhausted. And frustrated. There may, of course, be depression involved as well (I am no mental health expert and we only have what you have told us to go off) but one day off in 12, working 7 hours a day in mental health the ... (read in full...)
How do I start the conversation without looking desperate?
Q. Hi, About 7 weeks, my boyfriend ended our 2-3 month relationship due to the fact I was abroad when we got together and there would still be another year and half of us being apart. He felt like he was waiting for us to truly be together because ...
A. 4 February 2017: Ooh, tricky one. How did you two meet when you were away? Have you actually met? I suspect your reason for moving back was much more aimed at getting back to him than you admit. You mention health reasons but, despite those, you did not make the... (read in full...)
How can I stop letting this one man's opinion of me beat at my confidence?
Q. I have always thought of myself as girlfriend material and that I have a lot to offer a man. I dated a guy recently and he doesn't have any interest in me as a person whatsoever. I know it sounds vain or conceited, but I believe in mysel...
A. 4 February 2017: Have a think back to all the guys you have been out with and ask yourself, "were they right for me?" Then, in each case, ask yourself why. I bet you come back with a variety of answers. Dating is all about meeting new people, deciding what we... (read in full...)
My crush is moving to another country. Do I tell him I like him?
Q. Back in 2015, I had met a boy at my school who had just moved from Colombia. We became really close friends, and within a few months, I had developed feelings for him. Now, in February 2017, he's moving back to Colombia in a couple of weeks,...
A. 4 February 2017: In your shoes, I would simply tell him that you will miss him very much and that your time together has meant a lot to you. This does not imply that you are crushing on him, just that you will miss him as a friend - which I am sure is true.
Perha... (read in full...)
Is there slightly more creative way of surprising her with these books, other than handing her the present and saying Happy Birthday?
Q. Not really a relationship question but any help is appreciated. Recently A Series of Unfortunate Events has made it's way onto Netflix and I have a female friend who absolutely loved it. She and I both share a particular liking for th...
A. 4 February 2017: How thoughtful of you. I anticipate she will be delighted that you actually put thought into the present.
Regarding handing it to her, the only thing I can think of is to "disguise" it as something else so that it is a complete surprise when she... (read in full...)
How can I make her realize that her psychotic friend will always ditch her and make her feel worse
Q. Hey people... So, I'm gonna get straight to the point and try to make it short. I literally can't stand my girlfriend's best friend. Apparently before we got together they bonded on this amazing-like relationship and could speak abo...
A. 3 February 2017: The old saying that "you can lead a horse to water but you can't make it drink" comes to mind. There is nothing you can do to force/persuade your girlfriend to dump this friend. In fact, the more you push her to do it, the more she is likely to ... (read in full...)
She had sex with somebody else when we were apart, I can't get over it!
Q. My girlfriend and I broke up a couple of months ago. I had serious commitment issues and after being together for just under a year and a half I pushed her away and subsequently she withdrew. While we were apart I have never been in more emotional ...
A. 3 February 2017: Your BRAIN knows that she did nothing wrong. You do not OWN her. YOU had pushed HER away. She was a free agent at the time of the incident. She did not cheat on you.
Your HEART however feels torn because you do see her as "yours".
You wer... (read in full...)
Its awkward at work and I am considering quitting!
Q. Months ago I made mistake of expressing interest in a work colleague by giving him my number but he never called/texted then exaggerated/lied as to why he didn't call.I felt little embarrassed but no big deal.I tried to be still friendly and ...
A. 3 February 2017: In your shoes I think I too would be tempted to leave, especially if there were other options.
This situation has had months to settle down but still appears to be awkward. It is causing you unnecessary stress. You have other options availabl... (read in full...)
I've tried talking about our problems but he doesn't listen ... what can I do?
Q. Hiya me and my boyfriend are both 30 we've been together for 4 years we have a 1 yr old daughter together the problem is ever since we got together we don't do anything together I've talked to him about it and we planned a date night once a month ...
A. 3 February 2017: Sounds like he likes to have his home comforts - and his family - while living the single life. As I see it, you have two options: take the reins and DEMAND to be treated the way you deserve, or call time on the relationship and walk away. Me... (read in full...)
Three times she has said she will change, I am sick of it!
Q. Hello, I'm in the midst of a troubled relationship. I've been with my partner a year and a half on and off. I moved 2 hours away to live with her and now things are rough as we fight a lot, I'm in the middle of nowhere away from my friends and fami...
A. 3 February 2017: If you are not happy, and your partner does not keep her promise to get help (it doesn't sound like she can change without professional help), then you need to consider how much longer you want to spend in this situation. For every day you are not ... (read in full...)
I don't want my sick and twisted mother around when I have children.
Q. Myself and my sister have started talking after 10 years no contact. I'm 29 now and she is 34. We're both very happy in our lives and we have been getting on great. When I was 16 my mum had left me homeless and moved to a different country. I've ...
A. 3 February 2017: Sending HUGS as this is obviously very painful for you.
I had a similar situation with my mother when I was young in that she firmly believed in a "divide and conquer" policy. If my brother (my other sibling) and I were getting on well, she woul... (read in full...)
Should I end things with this man?
Q. hi, so I have been seeing this guy for 5 months now. we where friends first and I confided in him and then one day we had this connection and since then we been together. at one stage he was staying and spending nights with me and I have kid...
A. 2 February 2017: I think the main problem here is that this man is ALREADY MARRIED. He needs to sort this out before making any promises he should not be making. Why do you feel the need to hide your love life from your sister? You are a consenting adult... (read in full...)
His mother threatened to kick him out if he didn't break up with me.
Q. Recently, I broke up with my ex. This was because his mother had threatened to kick him out if he didn't. We're both under eighteen and it was going really well, but then that happened and now, although we still want to talk to each other like we ...
A. 2 February 2017: If he wants to continue to live under his parents' roof, then he needs to abide by their rules. We can't have everything we want in life and sometimes have to compromise.
Do you know why his parents are so against your relationship? If the rela... (read in full...)
He wont have any more sex with me because he is a Christian!
Q. Hi there, I'm a normal girl, 26, and I'm in a relationship with a transguy, 29 (not yet done any surgery to transform) who happened to be a Christian since he was born (with girl name of course). I'm not religious at all. We've already been tog...
A. 2 February 2017: Sweetheart, he is using the Christianity "rule" as an excuse not to have sex with you. There is no way he was brought up a Christian and didn't know about the "no sex outside of marriage" rule before he started having sex with you, then suddenly ... (read in full...)
Is she trying to brush me off?
Q. I 've been friendly with this girl that I work with.We have few things in common and we've had few good conversations. Her and I like to go to shows at art galleries so one day during conconversations,I asked her to come along to this show that w...
A. 2 February 2017: I think she was ok while you were just chatting at work but, once you wanted to take the friendship outside work, she decided - nobody except her knows why - this was beyond what she wanted.
If you have given her so many chances, and she has just... (read in full...)
I wasn't ready for sex so he hasn't talked to me for two weeks!
Q. my boyfriend hasn't spoken to me for two weeks..he suddenly went silent after we argued over the fact that I wasn't ready for sex .we have only gone out for almost a month.I like him but I don't want to base my relationship on sex....do I call him ...
A. 2 February 2017: I completely understand that you will miss him, as you liked him and thought you had something going, but remember this: you liked and miss the person you BELIEVED him to be, not the person he turned out to be.
Well done for not giving in and h... (read in full...)
My husband can't see the problems with his ex wife ...
Q. My husband and his ex have not spoken in years because of all the trouble she caused at the beginning of our relationship. She called begging him to come sleep with her, she kept asking to come over claiming she needed closure (she was the one who ...
A. 1 February 2017: Firstly, are you looking after yourself properly? Are you getting help for the depression? I am sure you know how important this is, especially as you have two young children to care for.
The last thing you need at the moment is the worry of... (read in full...)
How be a warmer person to my Dad and ask for his forgiveness?
Q. I am staying at my mother and father's house this week and it has brought up a lot of reflection upon how I used badly I used to treat my parents as a teenager. I especially feel guilty about treating my father poorly. As a teenager I resen...
A. 1 February 2017: Your father DID THE BEST HE COULD. It was (perhaps) not very good, but it was the best HE could do. How was your father's relationship with HIS father? I have a feeling it probably wasn't great either, which is why he didn't have the parenting ... (read in full...)
Grossed Out by Violent Behavior
Q. Hi. I wrote two times here about an older man I had a crush on, got advice here, stepped back and realized that like the aunts and uncles warned that he was a no go. (Thanks again!) I've been cordial since he works/lives not too far from where I ...
A. 1 February 2017: Like you, I abhor violence so I can totally understand how repulsed you were by what you saw. Well done for handling a tricky situation very well - honestly and to the point.
If this guy is capable of such violence - drunk or not - then nobody i... (read in full...)
I feel guilty and pathetic because I know there are people worse off than me!
Q. Sorry if this sounds whiny, but I think I need some advice from some non judgemental people. Basically, to say my life hasn't turned out how I imagined it is an understatement. I've done nothing with it literally. I don't know why, but when I was ...
A. 31 January 2017: Have a big HUG. Just because you are special.
I am nearly 3 times your age and I still feel like you do sometimes! Life very seldom turns out as planned. Even for those who know what they want and do it, there is no guarantee of fulfilme... (read in full...)
Is he flirting or is it just banter?
Q. Okay so there was a point I really fancied this guy but then he gave the impression he was straight He recently snap shot two pics I took and drew a penis on them to make it look like I was sucking dick.... then text" bravo you don't like (the ...
A. 31 January 2017: EEEEEEEEEEEEEWWWWWWWWWWWW!
How did it make you feel when you saw it? It would have made ME feel sick if I had received something like that.
I would laugh it off, just so he doesn't realize he has got to you, but perhaps block him from seeing ... (read in full...)
Do I have a realistic chance with her?
Q. So, here's the situation: there's a girl I've known about 8 eights that I've just received starting seeing as more than a friend. I met her at church about 8 years ago and we weren't especially close then. She went off to school and I saw her very ...
A. 31 January 2017: IF Rodney moves to California . . . IF they split up . . . Too many ifs - IF you get what I mean, ha ha.
Sounds like she really likes you - and another IF: if you had made a move earlier, Rodney would not be in the picture - but she is currentl... (read in full...)
| *oucannotbeserious's friends
These are mutual friends, so *oucannotbeserious has
added them and they have added *oucannotbeserious!
|
