I suspect my fiance is cheating but he thinks I am stupid!
Q. My fiancé was out last weekend and I was informed from one of his friends he was walking a girl home. The weekend before he was out and lost his phone and I call it and a girl answers whom he had left the phone at her house. This was the only...
A. 24 March 2017: It could all be innocent - or not. The important thing here is that YOU are not sure it is innocent and YOU have reason to doubt him. A relationship needs to be built on trust and you are obviously already wondering if you can trust him. Do you want ... (read in full...)
Just had a baby, but now I am scared about returning home, due to his abusive actions while I was pregnant. What can I do?
Q. Dear aunties and uncles. I am a first time mom to a month old baby and my husband and I have had a fair share of ups and downs but we love each other a lot and wouldn't dream of spending my life with anyone else. Last year, while in my first trim...
A. 24 March 2017: Sweetheart, you have more to consider now than yourself. Your defenceless baby is relying on its mum to make the right decision to keep it safe. Do you honestly feel the baby would be safe around your husband? You cannot protect YOURSELF against ... (read in full...)
Am I a sex addict? 101
Q. I just turned 31. I think about sex atleast every 30 minutes. I mentally undress every woman i See or imagine them having sex although im actually not interested in women sexually. My partner count is about 73 men and 2 women. To me a man has to ...
A. 23 March 2017: Have these thoughts about sex only started since you stopped having sex? If so, then it is probably just a normal reaction for someone who appears to have a high sex drive - or (as I suspect) a high NEED for sex to try to satisfy some longing.
... (read in full...)
How can I cool this without offending him? I'm feel anxious!
Q. I am 70 and have been a widow for 8 years, a married man has been very kind, but recently bought me a rose plant, took me to lunch, and a couple of other visits. He is ok as a friend, the places we have visited are not of interest to his wife, but ...
A. 22 March 2017:
I'm not sure why you feel you owe him anything, just because he took you out to lunch or bought you a rose bush. It sounds like the sort of thing friends would do for each other.
Although you say nothing untoward has happened, you obviously fe... (read in full...)
Whose last name do I give to my baby?
Q. My mom thinks I should give the baby the fathers last name but I don't think I should because I'm not married to him and he isn't in the picture. Won't that be an issue at school for my son and wherever I take him, if we have different last nam...
A. 22 March 2017: A friend of mine had 4 children by 3 different men. Luckily she gave all of them her own surname, until she got married to the father of the last 2 children. The last two, because they were still very young, had their surnames changed to that of ... (read in full...)
I am considering contacting my train wreck of a dad!
Q. Hi everyone, thoughts, insights and advice please! I'm swiftly approaching a landmark birthday, the sort where you might stop and consider your life to that point. Well, I've been doing that and am considering making contact with my father. I'...
A. 20 March 2017: The fact that you are wondering about this and asking the question on here indicates you WANT to see your dad.
Given his problems, I would not have any expectations of him being too interested in your life. If you only want to meet up with him... (read in full...)
Am I being hidden from the ex and his kids?
Q. Hello. I am hoping you are able to put my mind at rest really. I've been in a relationship with a guy for five months and it's all good. He lives about an hour away, and he has three kids who are another couple of hours away from him with his ex,...
A. 20 March 2017: I think he is being very sensible and putting the welfare of his children first - as any good parent should.
I can also totally understand him not wanting to give his ex ammunition against him until things are settled with the divorce.
This is... (read in full...)
He says he cares for me deeply ....
Q. DeAr CuPiD I met this guy in Belize in January and coincidentally he lived not to far from me back home. After vacation was over we started hanging out back home and we've been having the most incredible time together. We both just got out of ...
A. 20 March 2017: Well, I personally would take that as a GOOD sign, but it really depends on the guy. You need to probe a little bit to see what HE means by it.
I would take it to mean he sees you as MORE than a friend but is perhaps unsure of how YOU see your... (read in full...)
His girlfriend is coming between my old friend and me!
Q. I've been best friends with a guy from grade school, and we were so close and I love him like a brother. We don't see each other very much anymore since I went to college, but we always kept in regular contact via text and Facebook. He has a ...
A. 19 March 2017: Assuming this guy is an adult of sound mind, he has control over what he does and who he speaks to. He has chosen to drop you as a friend to appease his girlfriend. It is HIS choice and you need to respect that. You cannot force someone to be your ... (read in full...)
Should I make a move on my crush?
Q. does anyone have any experience with those kinds of guys who are really clever, not very masculine and all their friends are girls but they're still straight, and the signs that they like you, because I'm really into a guy like that and I feel like ...
A. 19 March 2017: Before you decide whether you would like to be in a relationship with this guy, ask yourself how comfortable you will be with his many girl friends. Are you secure enough in yourself to be relaxed about him having all these female friends? If not, ... (read in full...)
Is he scamming me?
Q. Hi and thank you for your advice I met a male online approximately two months ago. He is very charming. We've talked daily. He tells me his wife died in an accident and he doesn't communicate with his family and he has one son who stays wit...
A. 18 March 2017: YES! YES! YES! Photographs of a random man in uniform are no proof of who he is. In any case, if he is "special ops", he should not be sending out photographs of himself in uniform.
This man is SO scamming you. If you have nothing better to do, h... (read in full...)
What needs to change to improve this family situation? It has caused tension between my husband and I.
Q. Dear Aunts please help me to solve this problem. I've been married for 3 years. My husband is a wonderful,kind,generous man. He is the youngest in his family with 3 elder sisters and 2 brothers. I always had a feeling that his eldest sister do...
A. 17 March 2017: You have to understand that men and women treat complaining very differently. Women (as in your case here) often just want to get things off their chest and get moral support. Men, on the other hand, have been raised to fix things and, if a woman ... (read in full...)
I love her but I am nervous about the pressure to marry her so soon after the start of our LDR relationship. How should I respond to this pressure?
Q. Dear all i've been with my girlfriend since June last year and we've not had any problems. I've had 3 girlfriends before her but nothing has even come close to this. I know that she is the right one for me. She is probably the only person...
A. 17 March 2017: I think what your friends and family think should be the LEAST of your worries. THEY are not the ones who would be getting married.
Also getting a visa easier is not really a good reason to marry.
If your gut feeling is that this is too soon... (read in full...)
I think having sex with another girl will get these crazy depressing thoughts out of my head!
Q. well, im in a relationship for about a year with this girl and we both love each other a lot. While she is my first gf, im not her first bf, she had one before me who she really loved as well (i know this because a knew her back then) it was a long ...
A. 16 March 2017: I don't think you need to worry about breaking up with her because, keep going like this, making her feel guilty about something she cannot change, and she will be doing the breaking up if she has any sense of self-worth and preservation.
What ... (read in full...)
He won't let go of me!
Q. I've been in an emotionally draining relationship for the past 2 years. I say 'emotionally draining' because whenever we did fight, I always left my ego aside and went back to apologize, sometimes when I wasn't even in the wrong!! Just because I was ...
A. 15 March 2017: You have done the hardest thing: telling him you no longer want to be with him. Now you have to stick to what you have decided and not be bullied into taking him back.
And stop giving him access to your accounts. If he asks for the password... (read in full...)
Do I quit my job? I feel my coworker doesn't like me, and some of the behaviour at work feels like bullying to me.
Q. I work for a warehouse factory that distrubutes sporting things such as football tops and trophies etc. I'm being bullied at work from my boss and the assistant of the boss and they can't seem to leave me alone for five minutes. everytime I go into ...
A. 15 March 2017: This bin emptying thing has obviously become a big deal for you for some reason, judging by how you keep going back to it. Why not just make that your first duty of the day and do it as soon as you come in, without anyone asking or telling you to do ... (read in full...)
Why is he hiding these pictures from me?
Q. I have been dating my boyfriend for almost 6 years. We go to different colleges about 2 hours apart so the majority of our relationship has been distance, but we still see each other pretty frequently. He is an amazing guy and has proved to be ...
A. 14 March 2017: Did he actually "hide" them or did he just limit them to the people who were in them? There is a big difference. Some people (myself included) do not see the point in sharing photographs with the world.
If he hid them from YOU, then I would gu... (read in full...)
Why can't she see he is not a good person? Do I just leave her to get on with things? Since she is not listening
Q. Hello. My good close friend who is 27 has had a rough few years. Her Mother passed away, the Father of her 2 kids left her (he still regularly sees the children) She has begun having a relationship (now 10 months and I have met him once) with someo...
A. 13 March 2017: Your friend is an adult. If she refuses to see what a mess this guy is, then there is nothing you can do for her. Hard as it is - and it must be incredibly hard - you need to step back and let her ruin her own life.
My concern would be her kids... (read in full...)
His behaviour has broken my trust in people
Q. Hello everyone. I hope you're doing well this Sunday. I was recently in a 3 year relationship. This whole time I thought I had a sweet, brutally honest, loyal, friend, lover, team mate. Everything came crashing down. Turned out he was not loyal or...
A. 12 March 2017: This says a lot more about him than it does about you.
For someone to break up in this way with someone they have been with for 3 years and with whom they have planned a future together is just cowardly and immature. If things were not working ... (read in full...)
Spectre of my wife's past has come back to haunt us
Q. 2-3 weeks before I met my wife she did a professional porn video in which she says she was actually coming from another man's house where she had had sex with him. Along with that she revealed other things that she never told me and that she has ...
A. 12 March 2017: Show me a person who has never done anything they regretted and I will show you either someone with no conscience or someone who has done NOTHING. we've all done sh*t we're not proud of and, if we could turn back the clock, we would choose NOT to ... (read in full...)
I feel so confused, wanting my stepfather to be happy, and not lonely. But is also reminds that my mother died. How can I adjust to this change?
Q. Hi everyone, my mum passed away almost 3 years go. She was taken from us very very quickly with cancer. We had under 12 hours notice that she had terminal cancer before she died. It has been a very hard few years since, dealing with the grief o...
A. 12 March 2017: I am so sorry you are still missing your mum so much. Losing her so suddenly must have come as an awful shock and life can never be quite the same again. I lost my mum 17 years ago and sometimes it still feels like yesterday. We never "get over" our ... (read in full...)
How should we respond? My husband's ex has threatened to abandon the children on our doorstep, if we don't agree to take them at a time convenient for her.
Q. We could do with some help solving a problem please. My husband has recently been made redundant(with one week pay) and was offered an opportunity to go on a course to improve his skills and at the end, secure a new job which he was so excited a...
A. 12 March 2017: You should absolutely NOT back down. Your husband needs to go on this course and you need the money from his new job.
Does the ex have a car? Can she lend it you while she is away on holiday and not needing it? (Either you or your husband ... (read in full...)
Husband found out about my promiscuous teen years
Q. I've been married 3 years and my husband and I have a great relationship based on trust on we don't keep secrets. I was recently contacted on Facebook by Erica, a high school friend. When we were in school, we were promiscuous. We did girl on g...
A. 12 March 2017: While technically what you did before you met our husband should not be relevant to your relationship, your husband has found out about it (why was he checking your Facebook?)and feels like you have kept stuff from him. Now that he knows about it, ... (read in full...)
We still like each other but I don't know how to make a move
Q. I fell for a guy at a walking group a few years ago. There was a mutual attraction but people in the walking group did everything they could to make sure we did not date. At the time I thought these people were friends and were trying to protect me. ...
A. 12 March 2017: And here you are, still relying on what "friends" are telling you. Sigh.
Make up your own mind about this situation. You are an adult so next time you bump into this man give him a big friendly smile, tell him it's nice to see him and say some... (read in full...)
What is wrong with my boyfriend? our conversations on the phone lapse into silence
Q. I'm so frustrated! What is wrong with my boyfriend? He likes to be on the phone with me but has nothing to say. It will literally be silent for half an hour and it annoys me so much to hold the phone and listen to dead air like that. When I t...
A. 12 March 2017: Perhaps by the time he phones you he is really tired and his brain just wants to switch off? Can you try having your phone call a bit earlier in the evening to see if it makes any difference?
Half an hour phone call every night does seem quite ex... (read in full...)
Am I being paranoid, or is he following me?
Q. I befriended a guy twice my age (already a bad idea, I know) and knew he liked me. But I was honest and told him I didn't see him that way. We were friends and workout buddies. But after a while, I realized he was very immature and kinda creepy. I ...
A. 12 March 2017: Given that he goes to the same gym, it is only to be expected he will sometimes be near you. He works from home but perhaps 4ish is the most convenient time for him to go to the gym (he could have commitments you know nothing about). Are you sure ... (read in full...)
Am I expecting too much of my wife? I desire to make love to my wife, but she says it stresses her out when I initiate
Q. I have been married for over 21 years. The last three years have been quite challenging as my wife, who is 3 year older than me, is going through menopause and hormonal changes. I am empathetic and offer my support and encouragement as she goes thr...
A. 12 March 2017: I know you say you are trying to understand but you clearly do NOT understand what your wife is going through. Trust me, menopause is no walk in the park. It can be HELL for some women. Not only do they have to come to terms with losing their ... (read in full...)
How can I approach my Mum, to talk to her and to share with her the grief of losing my twin brother?
Q. My twin brother had learning disabilities, but i loved him regardless. We were always together and i never excluded him from anything.He died last year after a fit from which he just never recovered. Worst day of my life because i was holding ...
A. 12 March 2017: Oh sweetheart. Sending lots of HUGS. I can only imagine how dreadful this is for you. Someone your age should not have to go through the pain of losing a sibling.
Your mum will be hurting every bit as much as you. After all, she gave birth to... (read in full...)
The guy is turning into an alcoholic. Should I keep it to myself that I'm pregnant, and raise the baby without him?
Q. I don't know what I want to do at this point. I think I may be pregnant with the guy I'm currently seeing. I feel like he's going on a downward spiral at the moment. He had a weekend out with the boys and he got really drunk and now he is gettin...
A. 12 March 2017: Are you blowing things up out of all proportion because of his family history? I mean, a couple of week-ends getting bladdered with his mates does not make him an alcoholic. Most young men have done that at some point and got over it. Is there more ... (read in full...)
Is it wrong for for teenage son to just wear boxers around the house after school?
Q. Is it wrong for for teenage son to just wear boxers around the house after school? This started happening a few months back and while it is not the end of the world it just seems out of the norm. He will change if we have visitors other then fami...
A. 11 March 2017: What is "normal"? If you are comfortable with him being so relaxed in his own home and nobody else is made to feel uncomfortable, then I fail to see a problem. He is a teenager so pushing the boundaries and discovering what he likes. It is good that ... (read in full...)
Husband's penis smells like condoms and we never use them!
Q. Yesterday my husband came very late from work, and he had been drinking and his penis smelled like condoms!, Earlier he called me from work and said hey! I want to take you to the mall and didn't say for what reason, he wanted it to be a surprise ...
A. 11 March 2017: Wow! That has got to be one of the craziest things I have ever read. Smelling your husband's penis to check if he has cheated? I mean, REALLY?
In this day, are there still people who don't have a mobile phone of their own (unless they are youn... (read in full...)
When would be the appropriate time to block my ex on social media?
Q. Dear Aunts, This isn't a major issue. The thing is, I have half a mind to block my ex on facebook. Because I hate him so much and would like to erase from my mind I had him in my life. I'm happy and single now but sometimes I feel very angry when ...
A. 11 March 2017: The opposite of love is indifference, not hate. You have still not reached that point so you are still not really "over" your ex. The fact that you are giving so much thought to how much you want this "extra point" also tells me you are not really ... (read in full...)
Does a man call a woman a bad word because of how he sees her physically?
Q. Do men call women wh..res because they think they are ugly ? Is it because it's thought a woman is not attractive enough to be appealing enough for a man to want to date and marry that she would have to sell herself sexually in order to survive ...
A. 11 March 2017:
This says more about the person using this word than it does about the person at whom it is aimed. I know men who think any woman who won't sleep with them is a wh**e. The world is full of wh**es in their eyes, lol!
I find it very sad that any... (read in full...)
My boyfriend no longer has time for me because of his new job. How do I cope?
Q. I feel that my boyfriend and I may have hit a rough patch. We're about 6 months into our relationship and up until this point, things have been so easy and carefree. Then, he got a new job that has a lot of potential for him to advance and be v...
A. 11 March 2017: I appreciate this is still a relatively new relationship, but you really need to cut your boyfriend some slack. I really don't see how he can possibly do any more to appease you than he is already doing.
You sound like the be all and end all of y... (read in full...)
He's so unhygienic it's putting me off him, am I being unreasonable?
Q. I have been dating for over a year. In the early days he was relatively tidy.The guy is increasingly becoming a slob. His whole place is like a teenages bedroom clothes, rushbish, hangers, money etc chucked on the floor, plates piled up in the ...
A. 10 March 2017: Look at the person you become when you are with him and ask yourself if you want to be like that for future years to come. Your life will be one round of nagging and cleaning. Doesn't sound like a great deal to me.
If he truly wants to make a g... (read in full...)
I can't help feeling that I'm his second choice!
Q. My boyfriend always tells me that he knew from our first date that I was special and a keeper. I recently found out we had our first date, then he went out with another women the next day and had been chasing this women before and after we first...
A. 10 March 2017: Well, it's probably "possible", but why would you want to? Do you think you are not worth more than being this man's Plan B?
The fact that he dated someone else the day after your first date is not important. You were not in a proper relation... (read in full...)
Porn related little white lie - should I let it go?
Q. Should I bring it up or let it go? My husband is very busy running three businesses. He gets very stressed with it. Sometimes he masturbates to porn to relieve tension - I know all this, it's not every day or all the time. Sometimes I use his ...
A. 10 March 2017: Stop using his mobile. As you run your own business, surely you must have your own mobile?
Why are you checking up on him? You say you have no problem with him using porn to masturbate so why are you checking up on him?
We all have things we d... (read in full...)
I like this guy but he just doesn't have a clue about women
Q. I am seeing a guy who is into porn and hasn't had much experience with women. It feels like he doesn't know the difference between porn and being with a real women. He's not romantic at all, doesn't make the effort to make me feel special,...
A. 10 March 2017: Women need to feel loved to want sex. It is no wonder you don't feel like having sex with him, if he doesn't make you feel loved.
You probably did yourself no favours by being all up for this type of sex at the beginning of your relation... (read in full...)
Do I ask my friend for the rest of the deposit when she pulled out on me?
Q. Hi All, This is more regarding a friendship relationship but hope you can help! When organising my hen do abroad I asked who would be interested then set about arranging details for my friends who said yes. Before booking I continuley reco...
A. 10 March 2017: Well, you can always ASK, but it doesn't mean you will get the money. However, depending on how strongly you feel about this, perhaps you could mention it to them, explain how it is put added financial burden on the rest of the party and ask them if ... (read in full...)
I'm troubled by my boyfriend's spiteful side
Q. My boyfriend and I went on holiday recently and we missed our flight as we both got the return flight date wrong. We travel on the bus to the airport to see if we can get another flight. I had a leg injury. Our suitcase fell of the baggage ...
A. 10 March 2017: He obviously has trouble verbalising his feelings. To just shut down and not speak to you is unacceptable, regardless of leg injuries.
Is this a common pattern with him? If so, you need to tell him it does not make for a healthy relation... (read in full...)
I'm finding out things about my boyfriend's past that bother me
Q. I was friends with someone for just over a year, and we have been dating for three weeks. He has treated me well when we met up, but today, I added his sister on Facebook and saw some photos of him holding hands with his ex girlfriend. It was a ...
A. 10 March 2017: OK, so unless I have missed something, I really cannot understand what you are upset about, which does make me wonder if the stress in your previous relationships has been caused by your own over-thinking and looking for problems where there are not ... (read in full...)
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