I'm finding out things about my boyfriend's past that bother me
Q. I was friends with someone for just over a year, and we have been dating for three weeks. He has treated me well when we met up, but today, I added his sister on Facebook and saw some photos of him holding hands with his ex girlfriend. It was a ...
A. 10 March 2017: OK, so unless I have missed something, I really cannot understand what you are upset about, which does make me wonder if the stress in your previous relationships has been caused by your own over-thinking and looking for problems where there are not ... (read in full...)
He doesn't know I'm a stripper! Should I tell him?
Q. I’ve been dating this guy for the past 5 weeks and although we are not officially in a relationship things have moved fairly quickly between us. I had been a dancer/stripper for the past 2 years and when I had met him I had actually left the indu...
A. 9 March 2017: I am torn on this one. On the one hand your past is YOUR past and it is up to you how much of it you choose to share. On the other hand, if you don't tell him and it comes out years down the line (assuming your relationship turns into something long ... (read in full...)
My Long Term girlfriend has just been diagnosed with Herpes. Should I bail?
Q. The question i'm posing is whether or not i should leave my girlfriend of almost 5 years. I know that herpes can lay dormant for a long period of time, and i know there is a POSSIBILITY that either of us could have had herpes with no symptoms for ...
A. 9 March 2017: I think figures such as these are best coming from your doctor or someone who knows what they are talking about. Also, basing whether you stay in a relationship or not on figures and percentage possibilities is . . . well, a bit unusual.
When ... (read in full...)
Does my Bf really care, after 8 months together if he'll unwilling to hold hands in public and only becomes more demonstrative when he wants sex?
Q. My boyfriend and I been together 0ff and on, but now we been together for 8 months and when we out and about he dont hold my hand. He still tell people that i am his friend and we live together and he only holds me when he want sex. i can sleep na...
A. 8 March 2017: It begs the question whether he is embarrassed by you and only with you for the occasional leg-over, to have a house keeper/cook or to share expenses.
You are obviously and understandably unhappy with the casual way he treats you. Are you prep... (read in full...)
Due to health issues, asking a relative to help seemed like a valid option. My relative is reluctant to help. What are my options?
Q. I have a dilemma and I'm looking for some advice! I've recently been diagnosed with cancer and am thankfully getting treatment but unfortunately this has meant an extended period of time off work that I was financially unprepared for. I will n...
A. 8 March 2017: Have you tried talking to Macmillan Cancer Care? They provide advice to cancer sufferers on all respects of living with cancer, including financial hardship.
Sending HUGS and best wishes for a full recovery. ... (read in full...)
Blocking's been unsuccessful. How to stop a woman obsessed with my Bf from messaging him on social media?
Q. Hello. So I need help on stopping someone from harassing my boyfriend. I am 21 and he is 24 and since high school, his friend met a girl our age who pretended to be my friend when I didn't know her at all and she's hung out with my boyfriend's ...
A. 8 March 2017: Can your boyfriend not just simply say/write: "Leave me alone and stop pestering me"????
She sounds like she will not take a hint so direct action is probably required.
... (read in full...)
Is it ok for a female coworker to complain about her relationship to a married man to gain his sympathy?
Q. Looking for other opinions Is it ok for a female coworker to complain about her relationship to a married man to gain his sympathy? Should the married man explain to her that it is inappropriate and stop inviting her to discuss her problems...
A. 8 March 2017: Obviously this is your husband and his colleague we are talking about. HUGS. Tricky situation.
I assume your husband is sharing what she says with you, which would seem to indicate he sees no problem with what is happening.
How strong is... (read in full...)
I want the relationship to work. What are your opinions on flirting/ making inappropriate comments to another female while the guy is in a relationship?
Q. Please guys only (ps if advice is just shouldnt be together please do not respond. I want to make this work) Okay so guys. What are your opinions on flirting/ making inappropriate comments to another female while in a relationship. ...
A. 8 March 2017: Can't see the point in you posting if you are only interested in opinions which fall in with what you want to hear.
I suspect this guy knows you will let him do anything he wants because you are so desperate for this relationship to work, re... (read in full...)
Does he have a sexual addiction to anal? The business card has raised questions for me. Should I ask him?
Q. Hey Guys, From some time in my 3 years of ”Inconsistent” Relationship with my bf, we had sex once a week (we could not do it more ”due to schedules and his medical studies”) Besides not having much sex, he also happened to have, well I could de...
A. 8 March 2017: Why he has the card is irrelevant. What is important and not acceptable is him hurting you and forcing you to do sexual things you don't want to do.
Yes, some couple enjoy anal and, if both of you enjoy it, then that is great. However, YOU do n... (read in full...)
How can I convince my Twin sibling that her BF is potentially abusive?
Q. She's only known him a few weeks but they are REALLY moving fast and apparently he's saying he loves everything she does already and inviting her over for sleepovers. They haven't slept together yet apparently he has told her that he expects ...
A. 8 March 2017: Just because he is into "sub/dom" sex does not mean he is a potential abuser. HOWEVER, this sort of sex will only work for someone who is happy to be submissive. Is this what your sister likes?
I also see no problem with him having a liking f... (read in full...)
How much effort should a woman put into being attractive for her partner?
Q. How much effort should a woman put into being attractive for her partner?. I mean considering my partner has developed very particulicular tastes in women lately. How much should I be trying to be what he wants or trying to be attractive to him He...
A. 8 March 2017: There is a difference between taking care of yourself and looking smart and presentable - which we should all make an effort to do - and pandering to someone's fetishes.
If his "particular tastes" are more important than your happiness, then I w... (read in full...)
I don't know whether to tell my boyfriend that I cheated or not
Q. Okay so I went out one night at the start of my relationship and I barely remember anything. I'd gone out with a few friends and end up in a club on my own. I got speaking to a guy and he walked me part way home. He ended up giving me his number but ...
A. 7 March 2017: Do you get blind drunk every time you go out? If so, then THAT is your main problem, not whether you kissed someone or not.
If your boyfriend has such high stringent standards for how you behave while in a relationship with him, I don't rate you... (read in full...)
Nightmare drug neighbour
Q. Hey everyone quite a dilema here. sorry its so long. im a single mum of 2 kids no dad on the scene . I bought a house years ago . Most of the houses around me are rented including the ones behind me ( these are attached aka back to back ) the house ...
A. 6 March 2017: What a dreadful situation.
Given that he has threatened you, I would make a formal report to police so that there is something on record if this situation escalates and he actually hurts you.
If he is smoking as much as you say, it is unlik... (read in full...)
I made a fool out of myself, how can I feel better about this?
Q. Long story short, I've done a series of things that made me look bad in front of my crush. I don't mean things that have to do with being rude, immoral, nasty or unkind, etc. I just haven't had much dating experience and made mistakes that made the ...
A. 6 March 2017: Nobody's perfect. We all make mistakes. The important thing is that we learn a lesson from our mistakes and don't repeat them - which I am sure you have.
Forgive yourself, then hold your head high and move on.
HUGS.... (read in full...)
My boyfriend charged me for work he did for me. Should he have after everything I have done for him?
Q. I have been dating a guy for almost a year. He is going to massage school and has jobs here and there. He lives with a family member. I have helped him lots of times with homework. I recently bought a new car and gave him my old car, because he ...
A. 6 March 2017: I would have expected him to charge for the materials but not the labour. Did he charge for both?
You are doing stuff for him all the time but you cannot do this on the assumption he will do the same for you. If he charged you for his labour o... (read in full...)
Terminally ill friend offered me her husband
Q. My best friend is suffering from a terminal illness and said something to me that I'm not sure what to about. I'm divorced and haven't had good luck with men and she has been happily married for 10 years. She and her husband are truly great people ...
A. 6 March 2017: Concentrate on supporting your poor friend for as long as she has left. Ignore what she said about her husband. I cannot even begin to imagine what an emotional time she is going through, knowing her time in this life is limited.
After she is g... (read in full...)
Do I gave up on her or give her a chance? She visited her ex and relegated me to the friend zone.
Q. First of all, sorry for my english, I am not a native speaker. So I was seeing this girl for some months (september to december) and we had such a great time together. It never got into a serious relationship. Probably I was not ready for that, ...
A. 5 March 2017: Definitely don't give up yet. However, don't fall into the trap of being "the other man" either if she has got back together with her ex.
If you were sure of your feelings towards this girl, you SHOULD have asked her not to go to see her ex. Howe... (read in full...)
I missed the boat and it's breaking my heart. I wanted to be a wife and a mother. Will I ever get over this?
Q. I don't see how I can ever be happy. I LONG to be a wife and mom. I want it so badly that it breaks my heart. Realistically, I know that it can never happen because everyone knows that men aren't attracted to a woman who is over thirty. I'm i...
A. 5 March 2017: Sweetheart, you are 35 (at most), not 95! What is this boat you feel you have missed?
Well done for knowing what you actually want in life. Many people never get a clear vision of what they want. Now all you have to do is set about achievin... (read in full...)
Why is he so hard to get to know?
Q. So this is a little bit of a head messer (for me anyway) So there's a guy I really like we know each other from social media and hears the thing. I message him and sometimes he replies sometimes he don't. We share a match in music taste. ...
A. 5 March 2017: There could be many reasons. You know next to nothing about this guy, only what he wishes to share with you, so it is hard to speculate. Just because he "likes" your stuff and shares your taste in music does not mean you would be compatible in real ... (read in full...)
I work with her. Should I act as if I do not know that she blocked me on FB? Or do I confront her?
Q. My friend at work blocked me on fb... I think it's pathetic, so do I confront her or not? (I'm thinking that I wouldn't really like to give her the satisfaction of knowing it's annoyed me...versus the making her squirm/lie about it...!!) ?? How d...
A. 5 March 2017: In your shoes I would pretend I had not even noticed. How often do you frequent Facebook? Is it that important that she has blocked you?
Has your friendship outside of work suddenly ended? Did something happen? Some people react petulant... (read in full...)
Am I being correct in offering to pay or could I be offending him?
Q. Hi, I have a question and would appreciate your help. I'm not an American and dating an American guy for the first time, we both are professionals in our early 40s. It has been a month and it's going amazing. We are going to take our first getaway ...
A. 4 March 2017: I think, as you both presumably earn good money, sharing expenses is not unreasonable. He seems to cover the majority of costs, allowing you to cover the lesser costs, which I assume you are also happy with.
Enjoy. Have a good trip and don't ov... (read in full...)
Is a friends with benefits relationship sustainable?
Q. After 12 years of marriage, I lost my wife to an unexpected heart attack 9 months ago. It has been hard and I'm not sure what I want to do. I recently ran into a lady I worked with at one time while shopping and she offered her condolences. I'v...
A. 4 March 2017: If you are both happy with the arrangement, then you are not hurting anyone. The only problem with these FWB arrangements is that, sooner or later, one person usually wants more from the relationship.
In my view, life is too short not to grab wha... (read in full...)
Is it a mistake to date a recovering drug addict?
Q. I started seeing this new guy, he's sweet , makes me laugh, tests me amazing , he's a hard worker and friendly to everyone but he is a recovering drug addict. He moved to my town three years ago and everyone that met him liked him right away. He ...
A. 4 March 2017: Absolutely. He messed up in the past but had the strength to clean up his act, remove himself from temptation and start all over.
He didn't need to tell you about his past but he trusted you enough to tell you. I think you should repay that tru... (read in full...)
Am I wasting my time hoping something will eventuate between us? So far he's ignored my texts, shouted at me, and told me it will not work between us
Q. I met a guy 6 years ago he was going through a divorce and I a separation. After couple conversation we had words and he said that we will not add up. Sometimes I would message him and he would ignore my messages. I recently moved and last ...
A. 4 March 2017: Sweetheart, how may more ways does he have to show you that he is not into you?
He ignores your texts and has actually told you in as many words that he does not see any future for the two of you.
Move on to someone who will treat you with r... (read in full...)
I try to put myself in his girlfriend's shoes, but I still like him.
Q. I began liking this guy (who I see at my bus stop everyday and goes to a different school) in the beginning of Feb and we never speak. A friend gave me his snapchat and we started talking from there and for two people who are shy, we were very ...
A. 4 March 2017: It's ok to like someone, but doing something about it is not ok if you know they are already in a relationship.
At your age - and assuming this boy is of a similar age - relationships don't tend to last very long, especially long distance ones. In... (read in full...)
Our relationship is going fine. But our sex life is declining. What could be the reason for this decline?
Q. Does sex life tend to decline after a few years? My girlfriend was virgin when she met me. She used to love sex, was extremely naughty and used to want it more than me. Now few years later she isn't really up for it. She says it not me, she does...
A. 4 March 2017: Are you SURE your relationship is "going fine"? The reason I ask is because women need to feel loved to want sex and often the first signs of something fundamentally wrong with a relationship is when the woman loses her sex drive.
If she is skipp... (read in full...)
I know I can't get involved but how do I deal with my feelings?
Q. I started a job 3 months ago the same time as a male colleague who is a few years older than me. Over time we have chatted and I have found myself attracted to him. I get from his body language that he likes me too. He gazes at me when he talks or ...
A. 4 March 2017: You can deal with this by thinking of his children and his poor wife who has to look after the children all week while her husband is flirting in the office with young female colleagues.
If you start an affair with him (which I hope you have the... (read in full...)
What I thought was just a good time has me having feelings for this girl!
Q. I'm away from my wife now for 1 month, she's visiting her parents and she is pregnant, we are in good terms and very happy with our relation, we have this kind of up and downs that can happen to all the couples well one week ago I traveled for 3 da...
A. 4 March 2017: You are paying the mental price for your infidelity.
I hope you used reliable contraception, otherwise you may have more to contend with than just a yearning to see this girl again. If not, you really should go and get yourself tested before h... (read in full...)
Why is he withholding sex?
Q. Withholding sex? I have been seeing a guy I met for the past 4-5 months. The first few months were quite casual and we'd only see each other maybe once a week. The last couple we've been doing more together, going on trips out of town etc. At the...
A. 4 March 2017: Lots of possibilities spring to mind.
He could genuinely be tired, especially if he is dropping off to sleep straight away.
Maybe he just doesn't have a very high sex drive and now that your relationship is settling a little from the initial... (read in full...)
Did I lose my chance with this guy because we met on T
Q. I am a fun, bubbly, warm, funny, kind/caring, and positive young woman. I know it sounds silly to say, but I made a Tinder earlier in the year thinking that people used it to find relationships and stupidly, I found out most used it for hookups. ...
A. 3 March 2017: I suspect it is far more likely that he was just after sex and, once he had had what he wanted, he lost interest and moved on to the next woman.
You have hopefully learned a valuable lesson from this experience: don't sleep with someone until yo... (read in full...)
My boyfriend never thinks I am beautiful!
Q. My boyfriend of 2 yrs never thinks I am beautiful. But I feel I do look good. And he says that you always need to love a person who will be with you no matter what you look like. He does fantasise about actress but he never cheats on me..I am just ...
A. 3 March 2017: I will tell you what to do. LEAVE HIM. NOW. Before you start believing you are not beautiful. There are plenty of men out there who WILL find you beautiful.
Leave him to his fantasies. ... (read in full...)
I want to marry this guy, how soon can I propose to him?
Q. Im thinking of proposing to my boyfriend on our one year anniversary! The thought makes me super excited, not nervous or scared, like in previous relationships. So I just want to ask, what are your thoughts on feeling the way I do after such ...
A. 3 March 2017: P.S. Forgot to add, the fact that you are planning it on your anniversary date tells me you are a romantic. Nothing wrong with that as long as you also keep a clear view of everything else and don't let the romantic gesture be the be-all and end-all ... (read in full...)
I want to marry this guy, how soon can I propose to him?
Q. Im thinking of proposing to my boyfriend on our one year anniversary! The thought makes me super excited, not nervous or scared, like in previous relationships. So I just want to ask, what are your thoughts on feeling the way I do after such ...
A. 3 March 2017:
I have numerous married friends and acquaintances, some of whom married after a short time and some of whom waited longer. There does not appear to be any connection between the length of time they dated and the strength of their marriages EXCE... (read in full...)
She is getting me down but my boyfriend says "she is just a friend"
Q. There's a very similar question on here but mine maybe has a different twist to it. So me and my boyfriend have maybe not been as good as we were at other points in our relationship. We have been together nearly 2 years and met in work when his ...
A. 3 March 2017: In my view, neither of you should be asking the other to drop friends without valid reason - and being "bothered" by them is not, in my book, a valid reason.
If your boyfriend is already showing controlling behaviour like this, then I would tr... (read in full...)
Could this girl be interested in me?
Q. I stop at this petrol station sometimes. The past two, three times there's been a nice young girl there, and as at the times I go there it's not that busy, we have a chat. Somehow we got on to the topic of massages. I said that my massages may be ...
A. 3 March 2017: Woah! Seriously?
If you are free, is there any reason you can't ask her out for a drink? I think offering to give a massage to a young lady you don't know is inappropriate at best - except in a jokey flirty manner. Hopefully that is all she took... (read in full...)
How am I so bad with women?
Q. I'm at a place now where I'm rejected 100% of the time. It's mind boggling how awful I am at attracting women. They're put off my me almost immediately and if they're not, I get their number and they stop talking to me. It takes talent to be this ...
A. 1 March 2017: I can't help wondering if you username, Mr Big Shot (!!!!) gives a clue to where your problem may lie?
Do you try to come across as a "big shot", full of yourself and super confident? While confidence is attractive, cockiness is definite... (read in full...)
Can anyone help me with the basics of starting afresh? I cheated on my fiancee. Then I confessed and he forgave me. My guilt is affecting my ability to go forward
Q. Aunts, I need your help. I had committed a major mistake of cheating on my fiancé with a married man. But I realised my mistake and owned up to it, confessed my fiancé and broke up with the married guy. He (my fiancé) has not been resentful, ...
A. 1 March 2017: You need to accept that we all screw up sometimes. That is what makes us human. Nobody is perfect.
You need to forgive yourself for your mistake and now concentrate on making it up to your lovely fiance. If you are ever tempted to cheat again, t... (read in full...)
Did this guy actually love her? Or did he just want to have sex with her, despite her telling him that she was not ready for sex ?
Q. Hi.i know someone whose boyfriend broke up with her cause she could not have sex with him. Before she accepted to date him she told him and he accepted. Along the line he started really talking about it saying he thought she will let him have sex...
A. 1 March 2017: No, this guy NEVER loved her. All he was after was sex. If she HAD given in, he would have left anyway, so she did the right thing in not doing something she didn't want to do - as people should ALWAYS do.
She should now take him at his word, mo... (read in full...)
Workplace problems... Did I deal with Jimmy in the right way? How do I handle the situation now?
Q. I've worked at 4 different job locations during my 8 years of working for this company. I've never really had "true friendship" with any of my co-workers because I was always the "new person" to join the facility. I came to this location about a ...
A. 27 February 2017: All I can say is I am glad you are not MY supervisor. Fancy penalizing someone for making a decision to suit their current life needs.
I think you got totally carried away with your new-found popularity. If I was one of your friends, I don't th... (read in full...)
We both want to have sex but I'm not sure I am ready
Q. I've been with my boyfriend for about 2 months and he has fingered me and I have given him a hand job. We've both considered having sex but I'm not sure if I'm ready. Sometimes I want to have sex and I feel confident but sometimes I get too scared I ...
A. 27 February 2017: Firstly, you obviously know you are under the age of legal consent. The law is there to protect vulnerable individuals because, even at 15 (you could be younger) you are not ready to make this decision for yourself, much as you may think you are and ... (read in full...)
Is it too soon to sleep with him?
Q. I need your opinions and thank you in advance. I am 40 dating a guy who is 48 for 3 weeks. We have been on 16 dates already. I know it is too much with some standards but he is just head over heels for me and has told all his family and friends and ...
A. 27 February 2017: If you need to ask the question, then you should hold off because you obviously have doubts. You will know when the time is right for you because there will not be any doubt in your mind.
The speed with which he has fallen "head over heels" f... (read in full...)
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