He didn't invite me to a family function. Should I tell him how I feel?
Q. Hey, Thanks for taking the time to read my post I'm going to keep it short I've been with my partner 10 years I'm 27 hes 28 we've had a very happy time together no real drama or anything we have always been great together I cant imagine anyone in...
A. 20 May 2017: Did he just take it for granted you would be going with him? Some people take an awful lot for granted, especially when they have been in a relationship for a long time.
Thing is, this has upset you so you NEED to sit down and talk to him abou... (read in full...)
Is it time to downsize due to illness?
Q. Is it time to downsize due to illness? My husband just got diagnosed with a chronic and deblitating disease. His diagnosis came a month after moving into a bigger house. We have two young children. Since our finances are now affected (not to...
A. 20 May 2017: Sending loads of hugs.
My thoughts: don't make any firm plans yet. By all means think through possibilities but don't make any firm decisions yet. Just enjoy the time you have now in your new house and consider what you will do in the future f... (read in full...)
Do I message "his secret woman" and ask how many times he has seen her?
Q. After finding a 3 year old secret twitter account of my long term partner I was gobsmacked the tweets 4/5 times a day hugs and kisses can't wait to see you tonight etc he'd been working with her every night for 8 years in 10 years I've never met one ...
A. 20 May 2017: SHE is not your problem. HE is. SHE is not in a relationship with you. HE is. SHE owes you NOTHING. HE owes you honesty. Your relationship is with HIM, not with HER. Leave HER out of your relationship and concentrate on HIM.
You have lost all... (read in full...)
Why's my teacher acting so cold?
Q. My favourite teacher in the whole world is my art teacher. He's 30 so he's younger and is able to connect with certain students really well. He's the type of person who can make stupid or rude remarks that make you laugh, but he'll only do this ...
A. 19 May 2017: No points for working out this is the man you wrote about in your former post when you asked if there was any chance of you two having a future (or something similar).
I suspect he feels he has to keep you at arm's length as you are trying t... (read in full...)
Boyfriend's emotion letter to ex for closure has left me feeling second best
Q. I'm in a confused relationship, my boyfriend of 3 years (were living together) send a closure to his ex-gf behind my back. She cheated on him with another guy 5 years before we got together. He already told me that he dated one girl after her before ...
A. 19 May 2017: No, it's not normal behaviour. He should be trying to reassure you and rebuild your trust, not shout and swear at you for mentioning it.
There are 3 of you in this relationship and it doesn't sound like he wants to change that.
In your shoes... (read in full...)
I cheated then found out my girlfriend is pregnant. She says she doesn't trust me and would leave me if she wasn't pregnant
Q. I've been dating my girlfriend for four years. A year ago we bought a house together and within weeks I got laid off from my job. I ended having to take a job that required me to be out of town for three weeks then home for a week. I felt terrible ...
A. 19 May 2017: The good news is she is still with you, regardless of her reasons.
I believe a relationship is NEVER the same once someone has cheated and the partner has found out. Take a plate and drop it on the floor. It smashes. Glue all the pieces back tog... (read in full...)
He's engaged and 13 years older than me. Could things work out?
Q. How many years apart is too many? The man I love is 13 years older than me, I believe it's one sided, but I'm just curious on what people believe. He's also engaged, could this possibly work out for me at all?...
A. 19 May 2017: At your age, I am pretty sure that, regardless of what anyone says, you will still daydream about this man and fantasize about being with him. You are a teenager. That is what teenagers do.
Like many before you, you will have subconsc... (read in full...)
We've become really close and he likes me ... but he has a girlfriend!
Q. So, I've been friends with this guy for about 5 months now. Yet, somehow, I can't remember much of my life before our friendship. We've become really close. He has admitted to liking me but we never actually got together because he had a girlfriend. ...
A. 18 May 2017: You are quite right; THAT isn't much of a plan. I would call that "trying your luck". A hug is the first step. Then what? A kiss? A snog? Sex?
I would contact him and tell him his question caught you on the back foot but, having had time to consi... (read in full...)
How can I distance myself from a friend without hurting their feelings?
Q. I am currently a grad student in college. I used to be best friends with this girl all throughout middle school. We grew apart through highschool, and I am now a graduate in college. Half a year ago, I thought it would be cool if to reach out to her ...
A. 17 May 2017: Surely you must have lots of college work and other commitments which would prevent you having the time to meet up with her too often?
Just keep making excuses if she suggests meeting up when you don't want to. If you stay consistent, she will... (read in full...)
I'm worried how rude the nurses will be
Q. Im going into hospital tomorrow for a minor procedure and the nurses are known to be nasty, what can i do? Am staying overnight and on the ward im going to overnight on the nurses are well known to be sarcastic and cold... I have spoken to s...
A. 17 May 2017: I usually find that people's attitude towards me tends to mirror my attitude towards them. In other words, if I am nice and polite, then they tend to be also.
Assume this is the case with the nurses. After all, you have only heard one side of ... (read in full...)
Do many females masturbate ? I feel ashamed when I do so.
Q. Do lots of girls/ladies masterbate? I get so paranoid that I'm abnormal for doing it because my friends never talk about it and sometimes someone will make a comment that it's more of a boy thing and I'll feel ashamed. ...
A. 17 May 2017: The only difference between males and females masturbating is that males tend not to have the same hang-ups about it as females. They will often freely admit to doing it, and even discuss it with their friends. Women, on the other hand, feel they ... (read in full...)
He's a nice guy but it's just not working out
Q. Why do I always feel so down? I have been with my boyfriend for five years and we have had several ups and downs. I can't seem to look past his flaws and at times he can't see past mine but we tried hard enough for so long.bThis has been my first ...
A. 16 May 2017: For someone your age to be in a relationship for 5 years is quite an achievement in itself. However, you are at that stage in life where you are changing rapidly in your views, your needs and your wants. While he may have been good for you 5 years ... (read in full...)
I'm worried about my son moving in with a girl after only 4 months
Q. My son is 22 and even though he is an adult I still worry about him. Over the weekend we got to met his new girlfriend, she is a sweet girl and someone I'm actually glad he is dating (his past few girl friends weren't my favorite) BUT I worry that ...
A. 16 May 2017: If his previous girlfriends have all been a bit "challenging", then it may not be surprising that he is moving faster than you would expect now that he has met one who is "nice".
Your son sounds like a decent sort of guy, which will be, in no sm... (read in full...)
My female friends keep hitting on my boyfriend. What do we do?
Q. My boyfriend and I, both 26, have been together one year. We met through a social group meetup. We are the youngest among our large group of friends as everyone else is in their 30s. We have been with the group for 1.5 years. We are both social ...
A. 16 May 2017: It would be interesting to speak to the women involved and to find out what THEIR views are on what they did. Obviously I wasn't there but, while I can TOTALLY understand you being peeved about what happened, I suspect they just saw it as a bit of ... (read in full...)
Partner lets me shoulder all the responsibility
Q. I've been with my fiancé for 4 years now. We have a 1 year old little boy. My fiancé and I are very different. - he's passive, I'm aggressive, he's reactive and I'm proactive. When we met he had an issue with drinking and doing other things such as ...
A. 15 May 2017: Did you feel sick because of the vomit (guessing he didn't clean it up?) or did you feel sick because of the damage? If it was the former, then I can totally empathize and sympathize. You should not have to clean up after a grown up man. Could you ... (read in full...)
Hypothetically speaking should I help my brother cheat on an exam?
Q. Hi everyone.. I have more a family kind of question.. So basically recently I had an exam which my friend accidentally missed and she asked me what was in the paper.. and I know in the resit paper, they give the same thing in one of the section w...
A. 14 May 2017: Cheating is cheating, whether it is done for your brother, your friend or a complete stranger, and you are to be commended for having strong principles on this.
HOWEVER, there are many ways of looking at this situation (apart from it being hy... (read in full...)
I've done all the normal things to block my former fwb partner but he keeps trying to find me
Q. My former fwb keeps looking for me. He found out where I work and used that as an excuse to message me. He wants to have sex of course. I've been single and abstinence from sex by choice and I'm content with that. I've had declined his advances, ...
A. 14 May 2017: Threaten to tell his girlfriend what he is doing if he doesn't back off. That should make him think twice.
He is not getting the message because, being a woman, you are probably being far too polite, not wanting to hurt him.
Put yourself ... (read in full...)
My girlfriend is no longer interested in sex and I am starting to think of her as someone untouchable
Q. Could you give me you overview please. I’m not sure how to deal with this situation. My girlfriend is entering the menopausal age. She tells me she no longer feels sexy. Although I’m a bit older than her I still do. I have backed off initiati...
A. 14 May 2017: Trust me, the menopause is no fun ride. Between being woken by hot flushes and the feeling you are no long "a proper woman", there is not a lot to feel sexy about.
That said, I would suspect there is more going on here than "just" the menopaus... (read in full...)
How can I discourage his interest while still being kind to him and, if possible, remain friends?
Q. There's this boy in one of my classes who clearly is interested in me. He goes out of his way to talk to me in the hallways, after class, walking into school...he even waits at my locker sometimes. I'm afraid I've inadvertently led him on a bit, ...
A. 14 May 2017: Given your age, could you think of something which would let him know he was not in the running to be a boyfriend while still being kind? Something like "I would never date anyone from school" or "I am not interested in dating yet", if either of ... (read in full...)
She's pushing but it seems too soon
Q. Hi, I feel like my girlfriend is trying to inadvertently pressure me into proposing to her on her 21st birthday. Her b'day is at end of June and she has hinted so many times at me proposing eg. showing me ring a she likes and talking about it. ...
A. 14 May 2017: Can you think you will eventually marry this girl? If so then you could always get engaged, with the proviso that marriage will not be for a few years. That way both of you might be happy with the situation. If you really can't see a long term ... (read in full...)
I thought the online military guy from the UK liked me so how did he suddenly lose interest?
Q. Hey there Aunts and Uncles! I have a quick question for you guys, you may think it's stupid because it probably is. So a week ago, I created a profile on this dating app and met a guy pretty quickly. We exchanged face pics and added each ot...
A. 14 May 2017: Truthfully? If you wrote as much to him as you have done on this post, he is probably just exhausted from reading!
Kidding of course, but you do come across as very intense. And I am more than a little suspicious and cynical that he managed ... (read in full...)
What lessons must I learn to love myself?
Q. I just want to know how a young girl is supposed to love herself in a world where ideal beauty standards are plastered all throughout television, all different genres of music, and even in our family and friends through their language. How am I ...
A. 13 May 2017: Well, if all women woke up tomorrow and were actually happy with the way they looked, how many industries would go out of business? All these industries will try to make you feel insecure in your own body and make you feel that you should aspire to ... (read in full...)
Why can't I get a girlfriend again? And a girlfriend without a lot of crazy luggage from her past?
Q. Hello Not a newcomer to this site, been here for a few years really but I've decided to post this anonymously. So I think I'm stuck in a rut with relationships. I've taken what's easy and made a few dumb decisions, and over the last yea...
A. 12 May 2017: It seems one of your problems is that you mix with the same crowd and have exhausted the supply of available "girlfriend material". You obviously need to find ways of meeting new people - going out to new places, perhaps finding new hobbies where ... (read in full...)
I'm upset my girlfriends parents haven't integrated
Q. So me and my girlfriend have been dating for three and a half years and renting a flat together for a year. We have a good relationship, are very much in love and plan our future together. There is, however, one issue that drives me insane. Her pare...
A. 10 May 2017: If you went to live in a country where English was not the native tongue, would you automatically learn the language (except for what you needed to survive)?
Polish people are usually very welcoming and hospitable. Get your girlfriend to translat... (read in full...)
Why would my ex male friend partially ghost me instead of going to complete NO Contact? How do I end this madness?
Q. First he tried to ease me into a FWB, after agreeing to friendship. We spoke, text and video chatted practically everyday. We did have sex twice. He wanted to continue to have sex as an FWB. I informed him recently that I was not FWB material. I ...
A. 10 May 2017: Very simply you end this situation (which you call "madness") by not playing his game. It takes TWO to play.
It appears he is mad at you because you will not just knuckle under and become his FWB, which is not what you want. Well done for stic... (read in full...)
How can I encourage my husband to take better care of his skin?
Q. While my husband was out, someone mistook him for being 10+ years older than he actually is. I think this has affected his self esteem a little (he's in his early 30s). I've been wanting him to take better care of his skin for years and he's a...
A. 9 May 2017: The "beauty industry" preys on people's insecurities to sell them grossly overpriced mixtures of chemicals. The more they buy, the more hooked they become.
As someone who firmly believes that beauty comes from within, perhaps it would be better i... (read in full...)
Feeling upset. Is this just natural or am I wrong? I love my fiance.
Q. Well...not been on here for a while. I am engaged, pretty happy with my partner of 5 years then my mother goes and mentions my ex who split with me when times got hard on my family farm and I got very depressed and lost everything. Things got na...
A. 9 May 2017: I hope she is rich and never hits hard times. You saw his true colours when times became hard. Thank your lucky stars it happened BEFORE you got married.
I notice you say you are "pretty happy" with your partner. Perhaps you need to look at your ... (read in full...)
Are we really just friends with benefits?
Q. Dear Cupid, I have been friends with this man since college and when we met he told my friends there was "something different about her" and was very into me. I was into him also but because he dated someone I knew we flirted a lot but it never ...
A. 8 May 2017: I believe that we eventually settle down with the person who comes into our lives AT THE RIGHT TIME. The right person can come into your life at ANY time but, if you are not ready to settle down, you will let that relationship go because the timing ... (read in full...)
Trust and retroactive jealousy issues
Q. Okay, well this is hard for me to write, but I really could do with some help or advice, please. I have been in a relationship with a lovely woman for 3 months now, and we are both getting along great and really enjoy each others company. We are ...
A. 8 May 2017: You have recognized you have a problem. PLEASE get help to sort it out. I say that because, being human, what we tend to do is start off with the best intentions but then, when the going gets difficult, we back off and just slide back into our old ... (read in full...)
What are the signs a shy guy liks you?
Q. What are the signs that a shy guy likes you? I'm friends with and sit next to a boy in one of my classes and I started to realise that I was really into him earlier this year. I was directing a show and I asked him if he'd please be in my band an...
A. 7 May 2017: Well, one of you is going to have to make a move at some point, otherwise you will be asking the same questions 5, 10, even 20 years down the line!
I wonder if he has the same reservations and questions as you do? I wouldn't mind betting he too w... (read in full...)
I give my manager the cold shoulder but he still tries to be friendly!
Q. My head manager acts friendly with everyone. He is very helpful. All the female employees are attracted to him. Some even flirt with him. I just keep a low profile and do my job. But he seems to try to get my attention a lot. He tries making s...
A. 7 May 2017: I am sure you have already recently posted about this but changed the story slightly, so I have to ask why are YOU so hung up on what this man thinks and does? I suspect YOU are the one with the problem, not him, otherwise you would simply be ... (read in full...)
I try to adjust and be accomodating, but sometimes I get angry, just like him!
Q. Dear Cupid I am with my bf for about a year, everything was going fine and thats what i thought. Yesterday we went out, and he was ignoring and not talking or even looking at my eye the whole time. I have seen him do this when we are around white...
A. 7 May 2017: What are you getting from this relationship? I have to ask because, while no relationship is ever all plain sailing, this one seems to be particularly hard work.
He should be proud to be with you, regardless of who he is with. If he is ashamed ... (read in full...)
Should I let my b/f go to a party where his troublesome ex will be?
Q. I have a question i've been with my boyfriend for 3 years we seperated for a year but kept seeing each other on and off here's the thing he left the house when we seperated and went to live with his brother whichhis brother has a wife that has 2 ...
A. 7 May 2017: Why is your boyfriend not telling this "Jenni" to back off, especially as you are pregnant so do not need unnecessary stress in your life? Are you absolutely SURE she is making it all up? Here's a thought: perhaps she is telling the truth?
You c... (read in full...)
Wife had an affair with a man bigger than me. Will she always be sexually frustrated with me?
Q. My wife has had a affair with a man with a large penis. Mine is small. Will i continue to sexually frustrate her?...
A. 6 May 2017: Only if you keep fixating on this. THAT will frustrate her.
A man's ability to please a women in bed has little to do with the size of his wonga. Trust me on this - I have experience a variety of shapes and sizes. Most of the nerves which gi... (read in full...)
What purpose does it serve to have women's clothing that exposes so much skin?
Q. Hey all, I have questions about women's fashion. This will probably make more sense to folks from the eastern part of the world. I'm sorry if this hurts sentiments but this is something I really do not understand. My city has changed a lot i...
A. 6 May 2017: Ha ha, had to laugh at your statement "it gets a whole lot harder when it's a woman and they're dressed this way". I am sure you didn't intend any double meaning there.
Men are much more visual creatures than women, i.e. they get turned on more ... (read in full...)
How do I find out of this was just a holiday romance without making the wrong decision and hurting both myself and others in the process?
Q. I am 19 and have recently been on holiday. There I met a boy who I kissed and got along with really well. Him being there made the holiday. On the third day of the holiday we had a chat and he told me he had a girlfriend and that he didn't know ...
A. 6 May 2017: I think, regardless of whether this new relationship could work, you need to first sort out your current relationship and make some important decisions regarding whether you want to stay with your boyfriend or not. You can't just stay with him ... (read in full...)
Is he being a friend or is he truly interested in me?
Q. So I've been friends with this man from my church. He is considerably older than me and he is single. He also has a 3 year old boy. We get along great and I babysit his child from time to time. I've had feelings for him for a few months and I don't ...
A. 6 May 2017: When you say "considerably older", do you mean like 10 years older or older than your father? I ask because it is possible this guy views you like a daughter and, as you babysit for him, takes you out to dinner as a "thank you" and shows an interest ... (read in full...)
Should I feel bad for not inviting co-workers to my small birthday celebration?
Q. Hi there, I recently turned 28 and had a small birthday dinner followed by drinks with with some friends. It was 6 of us and consisted of 3 of my closest friends and two friends who are part of the extended group but not close friends. I'm clo...
A. 6 May 2017: Absolutely not! What is "feeling bad" going to achieve, except to make YOU feel bad and draining your energy? It is not going to change anything.
It is up to you who you choose to spend your time with, whether you are celebrating somethin... (read in full...)
Why is he so cruel after I did everything to be a good girlfriend?
Q. I was introduced to this guy but I didn't find him attractive so I told him I wasn't interested. He persuaded me for 2yrs and I agreed to get to know him, I began to like him my friends and my mum thought he's a nice guy and I should give him ...
A. 6 May 2017: Oh sweetheart. Sending big hugs. It is so hard but, I promise, you will get over this and you will move on and find someone who is actually RIGHT for you and, when you do, you will understand why it didn't work out with this guy and you will be ... (read in full...)
Why is he denying things about his past that I believe are true?
Q. Hey all..need a little advice.. This guy I had been in a relationship has recently come on the scene, He basically moved away with work then met another girl, become engaged had a baby with her etc.. He doesn't know I know all this. I found out vi...
A. 4 May 2017: Why do people ignore their gut instincts and try to convince themselves things are the way they WANT them to be rather than the way they really are?
Yes, you like this guy. He is probably working at being likeable. However, unless the baby you... (read in full...)
We've been dating for almost 2 years. Should I move out?
Q. Been going through a really tough time emotionally, physically and financially. I've been fighting down depression through so much guilt I'm carrying. Met a nice guy and though my heart told me I wasn't ready, he became my boyfriend and we moved in...
A. 4 May 2017: So, let me understand this fully: you have been dating for 2 years during which time he has been supporting you financially. He has snapped at you once when he thought you were using too much detergent. which he apologized for. Because of that, you ... (read in full...)
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