Is this happening too quickly?
Q. Preface: So, 11 weeks ago I posted a question on this website to seek help with an (almost) four-year-old relationship. Two wise people gave me the advice to end the relationship - advice I ignored until about a month ago when I finally made the...
A. 13 July 2017: Your ex is part of your past (and you will hopefully choose too keep him there). You have no reason to feel guilty about anything you do in the future as it has nothing to do with your ex. He chose to treat you badly and he lost you. Your life is ... (read in full...)
Is it stupid to take back my ex in a month or two?
Q. I had been in a relationship for almost 6 years (engaged to be married) and my fiancé informed me almost a month ago he likes another woman. After plenty of time I decided one night to leave him and moved everything out and back to my parents ho...
A. 13 July 2017: I would imagine people think the same as when you posted this exact same post a couple of days ago. Are you posting it until someone gives you the answer you want?
If you want to go back to him, then it is your life and your choice. However,... (read in full...)
I want him back but I don't think my family and friends will like it
Q. I had been in a relationship for almost 6 years (engaged to be married) and my fiancé informed me almost a month ago he likes another woman. After plenty of time I decided one night to leave him and moved everything out and back to my parents ho...
A. 12 July 2017: Your loved ones are just looking out for you and want what is best for you which, in their eyes, does not include this man. In fairness, their opinions of him are probably based on what you have told them and how hurt they have seen you. While they ... (read in full...)
Is it that bad I really feel down about it?
Q. This is so silly but Ive been feeling really down about my friends accomplishments. One being; I've been learning to drive for a good while now and not booked a date for my practical test. My friend has just started (well not long started) and she...
A. 11 July 2017: Sweetheart, if you go through life comparing yourself to others, you will ALWAYS feel a failure. Right from sleeping through the night and potty training, we are all individuals in how long we take to learn things. There will ALWAYS be people who ... (read in full...)
Do I leave my depressed boyfriend who will not get help?
Q. I have been with my partner just short of four years and I can confidently say he was the love of my life. I say was because now he is suffering with depression and will not seek help. He got diagnosed with this in 2013 and stopped taking tablets ...
A. 10 July 2017: He has absolutely no incentive to get help while you stick by him and run around after him. For the good of BOTH of you, you need to leave and stay away.
If he gets help and gets better, you may have a chance of making the relationship work. I ... (read in full...)
I feel suffocated by my boyfriend! Is he controlling?
Q. I'm struggling with my boyfriends needy attitude. He wants constant reassurance from me and needs my attention all the time. We have been together 3 years and his behaviour has got worse and worse. He wants constant reassurance that I haven't felt ...
A. 10 July 2017: How/why have you put up with this for so long? Can you see yourself putting up with this for another 3 years?
Have you tried just not answering the phone when he rings/sends you a text? At the moment you are "rewarding" his behaviour by giving h... (read in full...)
Is his request weird or not?
Q. So lemme know if this is weird or not. My boyfriend has been serious/joking with me about if I we had kids, that he'd want to drink my breast milk from my boobs. I shudder at the thought, and I can only imagine the issues women have with their ...
A. 10 July 2017: My personal experience has been that some men are just fascinated by boobs and everything about them. Perhaps your boyfriend falls into that category? I have heard men fantasising about this sort of thing before.
I think the problem for most wom... (read in full...)
How to cope with abuse for mixed race relationship?
Q. Hello, I have been with my amazing boyfriend of 3 and a half years and we are more than happy. I am a black female and he is a white male and we constantly receive horrible comments and a few uncomfortable stares in restaurants, beaches, cinemas ...
A. 9 July 2017: I am amazed that this still happens. Where on earth do you go to receive this sort of abuse? When popular media is full of mixed race relationships, and most of us frequently see mixed race couples, I am amazed that people still find it something to ... (read in full...)
How can I get my emotional life in order?
Q. How does one start believe the positive affirmations - for example I'm reading a lot of self help books that say speak to the universe And it will give it back - it's logical if I say I would like to be successful and calm - or I would like to be ab...
A. 9 July 2017: Sweetheart, you are not your parents. You saw what a bad relationship did to them and you know you want and deserve so much better. That is a very difficult thing for many people to realize/believe. You have already reached that stage in your self ... (read in full...)
What does all this interaction with him mean?
Q. Hello, in recent months I have become close to a male friend of whom I knew in grade in junior high in 2002. He added me on FB which was a surprise, as I rejected him in junior high when he showed interest in me. He ended up moving to another state ...
A. 9 July 2017: My initial reaction while reading was that he wants a relationship with you but is cautious after being rejected by you previously.
Then I saw that you are probably still in a relationship with someone else (is that what you were seeking "comfort... (read in full...)
Does love happen when u stop looking for it?
Q. Has anyone had bad luck left and right in dating - I feel like I'm at my end of trying that I just don't know if there is such a thing if the universe aligning u with someone - I've tried online- abstinence - a one night stand - a relationship and ...
A. 8 July 2017: Sweetheart, some of us have to kiss a lot of frogs before we find our prince. Some find their prince early on in life, only to discover he is really still a frog underneath. Some are desperate enough not to want to be alone that they will settle for ... (read in full...)
Is it normal for eyes to wander in long term relationships?
Q. I have been with my gf 5 years now and over that time things have never been smooth sailing but lately and this is something I feel guilty about my eyes have begun to wonder i would love to say I would never cheat and I am 99% sure I wouldn't but I ...
A. 8 July 2017: WHEN do you anticipate things between you and your girlfriend will "get better"? You have been together FIVE YEARS. How much longer are you going to wait? Why have you never had a sex life together? Does one of you have a problem with sex?
To an... (read in full...)
My friend seems keen for me to have sex with his wife
Q. I am single guy....... A friend of mine and his wife who I have both known for years,went over my apartment last night, after drinking at a local bar,and we ended up having a threesome, after he encouraged her... afterwards it was a little...
A. 8 July 2017: Maybe he has problems getting an erection, hence the inability to perform. He may have agreed his wife could have sex with another bloke on the proviso that he could be there and watch. Whatever his "reason", the issue is between the two of them ... (read in full...)
Help me understand these people! I'm feeling hurt and confused!
Q. Hi I broke up with my husband in October and met someone I'm work after. It was a whirl wind and I was vulnerable. The man was charming told me I was wonderful promised me the world. I fell for it hook line and sinker. I found out he lived w...
A. 8 July 2017: You can't control what other people do or say. Your strength lies in what you ALLOW them to do/say to YOU.
YOU have allowed this guy to be rude to you (your relationship was with HIM, not the "lodger/FWB" woman - she is nothing to do with you).
... (read in full...)
Nothing ever goes right in our relationship. Should I stay with him?
Q. I have been with my partner for over 2 years and it just seems nothing EVER goes right in our relationship. There is no such thing as peaceful, pleasant times for us. It has never been like that, unfortunately. When we got together, instea...
A. 7 July 2017: You can't control what happens in your life, but you CAN control how you react to it. It sounds like both of you have a negative way of looking at things in life. One little mishap and the whole event is seen as "terrible" or "the worst holiday ... (read in full...)
Is it wrong of my mother to suggest these things because I'm not married and I don't have children?
Q. My mother tells me that because I am single and without kids I don't understand her nor my siblings who are married. There's been many times when according to her I'm at fault. I just feel that is wrong for her to tell me this. If I'm not mar...
A. 6 July 2017: We don't necessarily have to be in someone's shoes to empathize with them and understand their situation as human beings. Is your mother trying to tell you you lack empathy?
You are upset/angry at your mother but take a step back and consider... (read in full...)
Online dating. He's not just chatting to me. Should I start chatting to others?
Q. Online dating. I've had both good and bad experiences doing this . I've been chatting with a guy for a couple of week and we are meeting in a few days for our first date . He's told me the lines how he's hoping i'm the one and what he hopes will h...
A. 6 July 2017: He is a free agent. You have not even met yet. There is no saying you will even like the sight of each other. Why should he not be chatting to lots of females? There is no reason for him to put all his eggs in one basket, i.e. YOURS. And why should ... (read in full...)
How can I start liking myself?
Q. How can I start liking myself after many years of not standing myself? I'm so over my moodiness and my misery- I'm ashamed of myself because I should be thankful for my health my family and a fairly easy life but no matter what has happened I can't ...
A. 6 July 2017: What lifts your heart? What can you not resist smiling at? What gives you a warm glow inside? There must be something.
Some some it is a beautiful sunset. Or animals. Or babies. Or a new country to explore. Or a new mountain to climb. Or jumping ... (read in full...)
I'm not sure if I should go on a third date with him!
Q. I recently met a guy on a dating app and we have gone on two dates. We spoke once over the phone for two hours and he doesn't really text and doesn't call me at all. However, he is always making plans ahead by asking me at the end of each date when ...
A. 6 July 2017: How do you feel about him? Do you like him? Do you have things in common? Do you enjoy your dates? Do you want to see him again?
I wouldn't hold the refusal to text against him. It is just not his "thing". And maybe he feels it is a bit early to... (read in full...)
Why is everyone sceptical about a 'friends with benefits' arrangement?
Q. So a while back me and my friend had sex a couple of times. We actually live in a shared house with other people, although they don't know that anything happened between us. We had known each other for about a year before this happened, and had ...
A. 5 July 2017: What does SHE think about it? Men are (usually) far better at separating sex and emotions than women are, so SHE would be the one I would worry about, not you.
The term "arrangement" doesn't really seem appropriate in your case. That word wou... (read in full...)
Who do I help, the one who relies on me or myself?
Q. I have a strained relationship with my girlfriend of five years. There's a lot of love and care there. She'll shower me with it, thank me and bless me. She has me on a pedestal and I shelter her from life. There's a lot of love but I feel trapped. ...
A. 5 July 2017: You must already realize that she is NEVER going to change. Not completely. She may promise. She may change a little, just to give you some hope. But ultimately she will stay the same.
If she was able to graduate, then surely she is able to get a... (read in full...)
I am involved with a married woman.
Q. So first off let’s just get the I’m an idiot, I’m a horrible person, I’m naïve, I need to grow up, and all that out of the way. I am an idiot for this and I didn’t want to let my emotions get involved but I let my guard down and now I’m lost. Ju...
A. 4 July 2017: She MAY like you but, primarily, she seems to be looking for security and a meal ticket for herself and her children. Hence the comments about replacing the wedding ring.
Be very careful. I say this because, IF she leaves her husband for you, she... (read in full...)
Why can't I let go of somebody who had let go before it even started?
Q. I'm so confused with myself and am hoping the advice from unbiased people will help my heart a bit. Last April I started dating someone who was an acquitance for 10 years before that. I fell head over heels and really thought we would work out. ...
A. 3 July 2017: You need to separate the man you believed/wanted him to be and the man he turned out to be. You miss the dream, the man you believed him to be. The reality turned out to be more of a nightmare.
When you miss him, remind yourself of how you felt... (read in full...)
She strung me along to cancel three times ...
Q. Hello everyone, so about 2 years ago I was in a short film with an actress and we hit it off really well, great chemistry. There was a kissing scene but it wasn't awkward at all. She even suggested "practice kissing" during rehearsal. However, ...
A. 3 July 2017: I would leave the ball in her court now.You have made all the running so far, so she knows you are keen.
Some people really do lead chaotic lives (and sickness happens to everyone). However, it is not flattering to be "forgotten" and I do wonde... (read in full...)
He groped me without permission during our first kiss!
Q. I'm 15 and I went hiking yesterday with my friend (he lives in another state, but he used to live in the state that I live in so we haven't seen each other in a while so we've been flirting over FaceTime and such) and I was tired so I needed to sit ...
A. 2 July 2017: I am sorry your first kiss was so uncouth and rude.
He sounds very young and very inexperienced and way too eager. His total lack of finesse is, sadly, not unexpected from one so young (assuming he is of a similar age to you). However, that doe... (read in full...)
I am still breast feeding my school aged child
Q. I do not see a problem with this however I wondered what the general consensus would be .... I am breastfeeding an almost 7 year old? I am quite out spoken about breastfeeding but a side from close family and friends, no one knows that we are still ...
A. 2 July 2017: As your first words are "I do not see a problem with this", I wonder why you feel the need to ask this question?
Why would you even CARE what the "general consensus" was on this if you are convinced it is right for you and your son? Surely, ... (read in full...)
How can I stop living inside my head ?
Q. I have been told that I have an obsessive personality by my doctor- I suffer from OCD but mostly obsessive thoughts- my worries don't go away - I worry about saying the wrong things in meetings when I'm silent all the way to thinking "what if I ...
A. 2 July 2017: First of all, big hugs.
Secondly, you have NOTHING to be ashamed of. You cannot help the way your brain is wired and the way it works. HOWEVER, you can hopefully re-train it gradually to help with these obsessive thoughts.
Have you trie... (read in full...)
I need him to be more adventurous in bed
Q. Well, my boyfriend and I have a decent sexual relationship. However, I wanted to try something different and interesting, but he wanted nothing of it. Most of the time when one of us wants to have sex or fool around, we dance around the subje...
A. 1 July 2017: Can you show him what you would like by example? If YOU feel like having sex, just make a move on him and get passionate with him. It is often easier to copy someone else. Maybe he is just unsure of himself and is confused about limits. If he has ... (read in full...)
He won't recognise my need for marriage and a child
Q. I have been with my LT partner for nine years. Lots of my friends who have been with their partners for about 3-4 are getting married and having children. My partner had a big depression spell so is recovering from that before we do those things but ...
A. 1 July 2017: Have you actually discussed marriage and children with him? Is that where he sees your long term future?
It is natural to want to get married and to want children. However, You need to decide how long you are prepared to wait. You two need to ... (read in full...)
How do I resolve joint finance problem
Q. I've been dating my guy for about 3 months. He works a decent job maybe makes 60K a year but has been paying off a few things as of late. Loans etc. Still I have too and he makes way more then me. He had a lame living situation when we met and ...
A. 1 July 2017: Big red flag! The guy's mean and a user. Regardless of how much either of you earns, why should you be supporting him?
More couples break up over financial differences than any other reason. You have already seen the mean side of his nature. ... (read in full...)
Snapchat app question
Q. Hi. This is a relationship question but I'll appreciate help because I'm paranoid right now. This new snapchat update is really creepy. I updated my app 10 days ago but did NOT access the map feature or settings. I continued using the app as usual...
A. 1 July 2017: Absolutely no idea but why would this be a problem to you? Do you think someone is checking on your movements? From my own experience I know most people are far too busy with their own lives to take that much notice of what is going on in someone ... (read in full...)
Is a man without a big wallet a deal breaker for you?
Q. Dear Cupid, I have recently met a great man. We've been dating for a few months but we have met each other's parents because we are serious about each other. Recently though, my worries have been our financial status. He is a hard working chef a...
A. 1 July 2017: A big wallet means nothing. Some of the meanest men I have come across in my life have had the biggest wallets. That's how they keep them big - by not sharing or spending. So a big wallet alone means diddly squat.
I have to ask, are you looking ... (read in full...)
Does looking at those websites means cheating
Q. Hello everyone, I have been with my boyfriend for 2 years now and we have been living together for a year. We are both 26 yesterday, I borrowed his phone ( with permission) and saw he was on Craigslist looking at w4m in our city. After that I loo...
A. 1 July 2017: You need to ASK him because, otherwise, this information will eat away at you.
There is so much stuff on line these days that it is probably difficult to find someone who has NOT researched something a bit "off limits" at some point. Whether ... (read in full...)
Is sex so important to my husband?
Q. Hi aunts. I have been married to my husband for 3 years. Our sex life is not good at all. I was suffering from severe dyspareunia for which I didn't seek treatment for a long time as the thought of a doctor doing a over examination used to scare ...
A. 1 July 2017: I suspect sex is important to your husband because men (in general) need sex to feel loved. You may support him and do things for him elsewhere, but if you keep rejecting him in the bedroom, or not enjoying sex with him, he will feel unloved.
... (read in full...)
I can't tell if I'm dating a really odd social butterfly or a man whore.
Q. Me and my boyfriend have been dating for about four months. We spend most of our time together. I don't usually feel jealous or insecure about myself. I know I'm pretty and smart etc. So when I do feel insecure I tend to think it's probably ...
A. 30 June 2017: I think you answered your own question right at the beginning when you said "when I do feel insecure I tend to think it's probably something moreso to do with who I'm dating".
I always see red flags if someone dismisses how someone else feels by... (read in full...)
I want more from my friend's girlfriend.
Q. why do people have friends and when you talk to them and you say you love them and I got a friend he got's a girl friend and I know them for quit some time they are in a relationship and me and my friend his girlfriend are friends put I would love ...
A. 29 June 2017: If you want to keep your friend, you leave it WELL ALONE.
I hope he is a better friend to you than you are to him.
There are plenty of other women out there. There is no need to try to spoil your friend's relationship. ... (read in full...)
I'm always the gateway girl!
Q. OK, I don't know what I'm asking here, maybe hope from people in / or were in similar situations. Basically, long story short, I'm the gateway girl for guys to find true love/marriage/happily ever afters. I'v never had a relationship last lo...
A. 29 June 2017: Well, with some of these guys it sounds like you DID get your lucky break - by getting away from them! Not everyone who comes into our lives is meant to stay. I believe we meet many people as lessons in what we should NOT settle for. These guys were ... (read in full...)
What's going on? I am confused why my partner is now an issue.
Q. I need some objective clarity. So here goes. When we were teens, say 16 years ago, he had a major crush on me and we went out a few times. I never reciprocated because I guess there weren't any feelings there, and I distanced myself from him. He ...
A. 29 June 2017: Can I ask, do you get attention from your partner? Are you bored in your relationship and looking for excitement outside of it?
Your partner sounds like a very reasonable man but even reasonable people have their limits. Be careful you do not p... (read in full...)
Should I ask her now?
Q. Hi I'm not sure where to start as this is a huge story, I will try to keep this as short and informative as possible. I'm here because I struggle to vocalise my emotions with those closest to me. I'm 27 years old I was with my ex for 9 years (16-...
A. 28 June 2017: What is different now than when you broke up with her? Did you just need "to be single" for a while? If you had been together from the age of 16, then neither of you will have been in any other proper relationships. Did you feel you were missing ... (read in full...)
Should I warn her it's showing?
Q. My wife is currently 7 1/2 months pregnant with our 1st child. For the last few months as she has gotten bigger, she has relied on leggings and yoga pants as her go=to wardrobe. She hasn't noticed yet that these are becoming increasingly tighter and ...
A. 28 June 2017: There are so many lovely pregnancy outfits these days that you could easily take her shopping and treat her to something which will cover her modesty better but still be comfortable. What about a lovely loose dress or even a long flowing top which ... (read in full...)
Am I that ugly that he will reject me?
Q. This boy I really like makes me super wet every time i think about him. I like him for his personality, He is the most sweetest smartest funniest boy I ever met. We are just friend's but I really want to be more than that. But I know that won't ...
A. 28 June 2017: Look around you. How many people do you see who look like models? Not many I will bet. Most people are "normal" looking. Some a little better looking, some less. In any case, beauty is definitely in the eye of the beholder so what is appealing to ... (read in full...)
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