I’m worried commitment means forfeiting sexual fulfillment, any advice?
Q. I’m in my mid-twenties and have been in a loving relationship six years, but I’m frustrated by my attraction to others. Whilst my partner has a colourful sexual history, I’ve only ever been with them and I feel by staying, I’m losing opportunities ...
A. 8 December 2017: The excitement of new sex soon wears off. Every long-term relationship settles down in terms of the amount of sex you have.
Women need to feel loved to want sex, while men need sex to feel loved. If your partner is female (I notice you delibera... (read in full...)
Do you find this touching odd or it’s normal?
Q. Hi, I have a question and would appreciate your inputs. I’m 40 years old and just started dating 5 years after my divorce. I’m independent with a great job. I met a guy online who turned out to have some mutual friends with. He is 45, professional, ...
A. 8 December 2017: You have mutual friends. Can you ask any of them anything about him?
I would like to think all this was was a man who has been out of the dating loop for many years not being sure what is expected of him. Perhaps he is naturally a "touchy ... (read in full...)
I want her back but she doesn't want a relationship. How can she just walk away?
Q. So, there was this girl I met two years ago and I am in love with her (we dated and were pretty serious) . I am in the military and I was stationed in Alaska.( Where I met her, I am originally from Florida). But I hurt her and she well I left ...
A. 7 December 2017: If that last post is really from the original poster (why is it coming up as female?), then you need professional help, my friend.
Being a Christian does not mean she has to be your doormat. She probably HAS forgiven you but that does not mean... (read in full...)
I want her back but she doesn't want a relationship. How can she just walk away?
Q. So, there was this girl I met two years ago and I am in love with her (we dated and were pretty serious) . I am in the military and I was stationed in Alaska.( Where I met her, I am originally from Florida). But I hurt her and she well I left ...
A. 7 December 2017: Let me put this into perspective for you. Take a clean sheet of paper. Look at it. Now crumple it up as hard as you can into as small a ball as you can. Now try to iron it out with your hand and make sure you keep saying "sorry" to it. Does it look ... (read in full...)
My sons are using the house for dating. What should I tell them?
Q. I’m a single dad of two teenage boys, one is 17 (almost 18) the other is 15. My oldest has a girlfriend and recently I found out they have been using my house after school for their hook up spot. I came home from work last week and found an empt...
A. 6 December 2017: They are 17. They are of age to indulge in sex. If they were 13, I would be concerned but you cannot stop 17 year olds' raging hormones.
To me, you and your eldest son are both being very sensible and adult about this situation. YOU are right in... (read in full...)
His family is getting me down. What should I do?
Q. Hi everyone.. i need help and opinion from you about my husband. We are newly married and still living with his parents house for financial security and cultural things. We plan that once we can financially stable we will move out and live on ...
A. 6 December 2017: The big difference between men and women (of most cultures, I suspect) is that women just want to talk and have someone just listen, while men feel they have to FIX things.
Your husband was obviously fed up of you moaning at him but not doing an... (read in full...)
How can I get over this embarrassment?
Q. This boy I like knows I was spanked and now I can’t face seeing him ever again. Me and my brother got caught skipping class. Mom was so pissed she had us stay in our rooms all afternoon. When dad came home, my brother got to go down stairs but cus ...
A. 6 December 2017: The one who should be embarrassed here is your father for resorting to punishing you in this way. You would think an adult would have the intelligence to handle this situation without resorting to physical punishment (especially as you admit it ... (read in full...)
How do you get over the first person you were sexual with?
Q. How do you get over the first person you were sexual with? I don't understand why I am so stuck on this. My first kiss was at 17, and he was also the first guy I ever touched or let touch me. However we did not have sex. I wasn't in a relationship ...
A. 6 December 2017: Ah, unrequited love. It never changes, it never grows old, it never dies. Possibly the hardest to get over because you can make up your own "happy ever after" endings with nothing to contradict them - as you are doing.
You will NEVER forget t... (read in full...)
I refused to trade nudes for friendship. Now what?
Q. A few months ago, a group of boys at my school saw me sitting alone, and asked if I wanted to join them. I never dared to approach them before, because I like one of them. They became my friend circle. I felt happy, hanging out with them, and b...
A. 5 December 2017: Wow! You are one ballsy lady! Well done for standing up to these bullies and not allowing them to intimidate you into doing what they wanted.
I know at your age you want to have friends but you need to pick your friends carefully. These people a... (read in full...)
I'm into him and I would like to make a move! But we live together at uni, whatbif it went wrong?
Q. Simply put, me and one of my uni flatmates are into each other. He's very shy, I know he has never even kissed anybody before, and I would like to make a move so badly. We flirt, we make excuses to spend time with each other, and he does things for ...
A. 5 December 2017: Do you know what is worse than it not working out? Spending the rest of your life wondering "what if?".
You will only find out if the different backgrounds matter if you give it a try.
And so what if it goes wrong? Perhaps you can still sh... (read in full...)
My ex isn't apologetic about his behavior and its starting to turn me off
Q. I broke things off with him because he kept gaslighting me. Anytime I wanted to talk to him about something he’d call me a drama queen, sensitive, emotional. I got so drained trying to salvage things. The last straw was when he told me to shut up as ...
A. 5 December 2017: Sweetheart, you already know the answer to this one. Just a couple of your quotes:
"it drained me again and it just reminded me why i left it"
"the way he speaks to me sometimes is unacceptable to me and I’ve tried to reason with him but he ... (read in full...)
I broke it off. Was I right? How do I move on?
Q. I was with her for 1 year. Everything was going great until 3-4 months in we started having problems. We both made mistakes and we’ve been on and off many times. We somehow managed to move past all of that and we fell in love. It’s then when we got ...
A. 4 December 2017: I think the thing to focus on here is that you did your best and, for you at least, it didn't work out. Whatever your ex's reasons for her behaviour (sounds like she may have some sort of issues but that would be for a professional to assess), the ... (read in full...)
Do I stay with boyfriend or leave and hope something will happen with this other man?
Q. Hi everyone Looking for some advice. Im 32 years old and when I was 18 I met a lad (lets call him A) through a group of friends. I had just recently entered a relationship and A also had a girlfriend who he had been with a few years. There was...
A. 4 December 2017: Ah, unrequited love. It never grows old or fades because it was never real. In our imagination it can be forever perfect.
If you HAD got together with A all those years ago, you would probably be having the same feelings are you are having a... (read in full...)
He wants me to trust him but he doesn't behave as someone that I can trust!
Q. Hello. Thank you for taking the time to read my post. I've been seeing my current boyfriend off and on for about eight months now. During that time we have had several breakups. Once over him being too flirty with another girl as I stood by as a ...
A. 3 December 2017: Blimey, I am exhausted just reading all that!
Sister, sit down and LISTEN to me. I want to ask you a very serious question.
DO YOU LIKE THE PERSON YOU BECOME WHEN YOU ARE WITH HIM?
Do you enjoy being "psycho" and not trusting him? Do you... (read in full...)
My boyfriend's mother isn't accepting of my children and myself
Q. i met my boyfriend 6yrs ago I have 2 children from previous relationship and left their father due to domestic violence. We are happy and since meeting my boyfriend we have so much in common and my children love him like a dad. We met his mum and ...
A. 3 December 2017: While I understand your desire for your children to have contact with your boyfriend's parents, and also how painful it must be for you to watch them being pushed aside, you can't force his mother to like them.
In your shoes I would tell the chil... (read in full...)
Should I have an affair with a married man?
Q. This is going to make me sound like a horrible person... Maybe I am. I've been infatuated with this man for months. I can tell he doesn't care about me emotionally because once I say no to a booty call, he says good bye. I'm not going to lie, I'...
A. 3 December 2017: I think you should ask his wife's opinion on this. See how SHE feels about him having a fling with you.
This man is a user. Do you honestly think he will treat you any better than he treats his poor wife? Of course he won't. He is only interest... (read in full...)
I like a guy but he seems to prefer a slimmer girl, do I have a chance?
Q. Been working at Starbucks for about a year now, it's right next to my uni business school. There's a guy who's been coming in for the last few months and is pretty lush hehe, blond, blue eyes, muscular and wears our uni rugby T shirt, he's rly tall ...
A. 29 November 2017: He's been coming in for the last few months and is still just flirty and friendly? He's not really interested in either of you as potential girlfriend material I would guess, or he already has a girlfriend (or even boyfriend)and is just being flirty ... (read in full...)
Should the other woman tell his wife about the affair?
Q. Should the other woman tell his wife about the affair? I know many would use harsh and negative remarks on such question. I did no Contact and he reached out and I caved in. I am thinking of telling his wife so that I can move on for good forever...
A. 28 November 2017: Do you think ANYONE with an ounce of human decency is going to say "Yes, go on, tell the poor long-suffering wife. After all, it is HER fault that you chose to hook up with a married man." I mean, really?
Why should the wife suffer pain just bec... (read in full...)
Dealing With Catty Customers At Work?
Q. I work for a "posh" retail store which has a lot of female customers, I've been awarded employee of the month for customer service before and am always friendly to people, I've only been there since last year but already know a lot of people by name ...
A. 28 November 2017: Sweetheart, do you honestly think that silly woman remembered you (or what she had said) a few minutes after she had walked away? Her remark (within earshot of you) was all about HER lack of manners and not about YOUR customer service.
You c... (read in full...)
I have these gut feelings she's cheating so how do I figure out what I do?
Q. I'm a female in a relationship with another female. I have trust issues due to previous infidelities in past relationships. I know that it's unfair for me to question her when she's done nothing wrong, but, honest to god, I can't help it. I feel ...
A. 27 November 2017: Where to start?
There is a huge difference between gut instinct and paranoia. Someone cheating on you in the past is NOT an excuse for giving your current girlfriend a hard time.
This poor girl can't win. She has obviously told you her ex ... (read in full...)
Am I being paranoid about why he doesn't make eye contact during sex?
Q. Eye contact during sex? My husband usually turns his head away from me or closes his eyes. I dont remember having a problem with it years ago... but recently he holds me close with my head buried in his neck and almost forcibly stops me from bei...
A. 27 November 2017: My first thought was that perhaps he has problems orgasming (or even holding his erection) if he doesn't fantasize. Most people need to have fantasies at some point in their lives to help them climax.
You need to talk to him when you are not in b... (read in full...)
How do I escape this rut?
Q. I’m reallt stuck on what to do. I have been with my girl for 5 yrs. However I can’t have courage to get married. I’m always making excuses, but I’m reality I don’t know why myself. I have tried to think about it a lot, and the only conclusion ...
A. 27 November 2017: Sweetheart, you have been the carer for your parents from such an early age that you have lost sight of how to care for YOURSELF.
I totally get your lack of faith in doctors (I'm not a great fan myself and tend to only go as a last resort) ... (read in full...)
I've been hooking up with my ex and now he wants proper sex but I'm hesitant because I want my first time to be with a boyfriend
Q. I am a 16 year old girl. I dated this guy for a year and a half, but we broke up in January when I found out he had been sexting other girls. Over the summer, he changed a lot, and he decided he wanted to get back together with me. I told him I'd ...
A. 27 November 2017: Let your first time be with this guy and you will regret it because, afterwards, he will walk away and you will feel let down and used.
I would advise that you trust your gut instinct and wait until you are in an established loving and trusting... (read in full...)
My question is how do u determine if someone is worth giving a chance or hanging your coat and going out there and meeting new men again ?
Q. I recently met a older man (38) and Im 27. I am a bit of a rutt. He is incredibly sweet to me, dorky, handsome, secure job and apartment. But downside he is a bit like a manchild, abit of of a horder, collects disney toys, has a slight very light ...
A. 27 November 2017: I get the impression from your post that you actually want to leave him but feel guilty for feeling that way because, for some reason, you feel like you shouldn't. Am I right? He tries to make you happy, so you feel like you are obliged to BE ... (read in full...)
Am I selfish for not wanting a relationship? My parents are desperate for a grandchild but I'm not so sure I'm ready
Q. I'm just curious as to what others think about this situation or if anyone else has had a similar problem. I'm 23 and I've never dated nor been in a relationship (and therefore obviously a virgin), but that is mainly by choice as I have no desire...
A. 27 November 2017: First of all, I am really sorry about your brother. His death must have hit you all hard, especially your parents. It is little wonder they are now so aware of their own mortality and putting pressure on you to provide the future generation of the ... (read in full...)
I was a virgin, didn't bleed and now my husband says I wasn't a virgin
Q. It was totally my first intercourse, but i did'nt bleed....i only felt a very little pain...even my hubby said that i'm not virgin as my vagina is loose. He said my vagina is not like virgins have.... But It was my first time. Why it happens to...
A. 26 November 2017: I can't imagine your husband is much of an expert on virgins. I mean, how many has he had intercourse with?
Perhaps the real "problem" here is that his penis is tiny (as a virgin, you will have nothing to compare it to) hence you felt little p... (read in full...)
I want to sleep with my wifes cousin.
Q. So my wife has a really attractive cousin who I only see on holidays and up until now she’s been in a relationship. Well she’s newly single and I noticed she seems to be interested in me as well and has given vibes that she’s feeling it too. I sat ...
A. 26 November 2017: I think you should discuss it with your wife and see what SHE thinks. I'm sure SHE will have some very clear opinions on your crush. In fact, she will probably tell you to go for it - after she has booted your arse out the door.
Being in a relati... (read in full...)
I'm tired of trying to avoid him ...
Q. Okay so this is a really weird situation. I liked this lad since my first year of high school, we had flirty banta untill he left in 2016. After showing up on the bus on my way to the first day of college a few months ago, it bought old feelings up. ...
A. 25 November 2017: I'm missing something here. WHY are you so upset by his presence?
You had a slight misunderstanding in that you ASSUMED he wanted a relationship whereas he just wanted a FWB situation. He was honest and told you this straight away. Perhaps ... (read in full...)
He cheated on his boyfriend, do I tell?
Q. I used to fancy a friend of mine, he knows but clearly has no interest I’m coping with that. Now his started going out with a guy 10 years younger than him, he told me they were fun buddies cause he couldn’t go out with someone younger than him...
A. 25 November 2017: Hell hath no fury like a woman (or man in this case) scorned. Clearly you are NOT coping with your friend not fancying you, despite your declaration in the first sentence of your post that you are. THAT is what you need to tackle.
Your friend's... (read in full...)
Head over heels in love with my teacher!
Q. Hello everyone, I'm a bachelor student. I am sorry for my grammar mistakes. First of all, I want to say that during my school and HS years I've never had this feeling before. Last year, I met one of the best persons and teachers in the world. She is ...
A. 24 November 2017: You have been very lucky to find such a special teacher. It sounds like teaching is her vocation rather than just her job, and she cares deeply about teaching and about her students.
You need to put this in perspective. What are you hoping t... (read in full...)
I'm in a horribly abusive relationship and I need a way out for me and my daughter
Q. Hi basically just looking for some advise plz, I really don't know what to do or how to. Basically I haven't been happy with my partner we have been arguing lately quiet a lot we have a small child but the arguments ain't in front of her as he ...
A. 24 November 2017: You already know you need to put distance between you and this horrible man. However, this is YOUR home and your daughter's home. WHY won't you want to have him removed?
If the house is in your name (I assume rented?) YOU will still be liable f... (read in full...)
I think my boyfriend has a case of " internalised homophobia". How do I talk to him and help him?
Q. I am a gay 29 year old man. I have been seeing a 32 year old guy since early 2015. When we met I did not know his sexuality, but we clicked, and in no time we developed a sexual relationship. This man has never said he is gay, but we spend a lot of ...
A. 22 November 2017: I think you are asking the wrong question. What you SHOULD be asking (IMHO) is "How can I get over this guy and let him live his own life as he sees fit?"
Just because you are obsessed with him does not give you the right to tell him how he shoul... (read in full...)
He's taken my wife. Should I be worried?
Q. my wife an I have been married for 3 years. however things have been interesting for last 18 months. we have a neighbour Raymond who is divorced for a long time and is 44. he has two girls about 8 and 12. me and my wife are both 28. however 18 ...
A. 22 November 2017: Only two things to say on this:
#1. If (and that is a BIG IF) this situation is actually true, God help those poor children.
#2. Please don't ever get married again. You make a mockery of marriage.
... (read in full...)
I asked my co-worker out but she said she would think about it. How long before I ask her again?
Q. Ok so I asked a girl I work with out to have dinner with me. We have been working together for around 6--8 months. I know her pretty well, but not really well, but in the end I just thought "who cares, go for it". So I asked her and she said it ...
A. 22 November 2017: I would not ask her again. You have made the first move and she has told you what SHE thinks. Leave it to her to decide whether it would be a good idea to do it. Don't push it.
In your shoes I would stay friendly but not mention it again, o... (read in full...)
Lost my virginity and I didn't even enjoy it but now I'm wondering if I could be pregnant
Q. I just lost my virginity, tbh it was painful and i never enjoyed it at all, according to my friend its because he never did foreplay. Even though i was not satisfied, apparently he was because he came on the inside of my thighs. The cum wasn't alot ...
A. 22 November 2017: Yes, absolutely you could get pregnant from what you did. If a man's penis enters your vagina, there is always a possibility of pregnancy. Even if the man doesn't ejaculate inside you and withdraws (as sounds to be the case), there is always the ... (read in full...)
Can you help explain my boyfriend's strange behaviour?
Q. I have a bizarre problem! I've been seeing my boyfriend for ten months and we often go away and stay at hotels but the thing is he picks me up after work about 3pm then when we arrive at our hotel he wants to literally go to bed straightaway and ...
A. 21 November 2017: How does he treat you at other times? What do you do when you see each other normally? I wonder if the hotel time is the only time you two get chance to be properly alone and he is trying to make the most of it?
Even if that is the case though, ... (read in full...)
Why would he not see me in 2 months then turn around and say he loves me loads?
Q. hi everyone. person i'm seeing for a year now,we not had the exclusive talk but hes told me we friends but seeing where it goes etc we are sleeping together mostly when we see each other sex is involved 9/10 times it happens now recently iv not ...
A. 21 November 2017: Sweetheart, wake up. Why do YOU think he wants you to keep stuff at yours? So whoever has been around with him the last couple of months doesn't see it.
So he had an op? Did they sew his fingers together so he could not contact you?
How muc... (read in full...)
The guy I've liked from afar is being a little wierd
Q. Hi, I need some advice, I haven't dated in ages, I am 43, just went through a rough patch with major losses, illness etc, now better but I am still fragile. Anyway, since last year I meet maybe every 2/3 months this guy through work, older (I ...
A. 19 November 2017: Be polite to him but keep conversation to a professional level. If he suggests going out or something, tell him you don't think it is a good idea to mix business with pleasure, or say you don't feel ready to go out yet. Just make any excuse but keep ... (read in full...)
I sent him a nude, I hope he hasn't lost respect for me.
Q. I posted a while ago saying i had a met a man with quite an usual job- he's a travel author (fairly successful). He is 35 years old, is in the public eye quite a lot and has a lot of female attention. I went on 2 dates with him back in june but then ...
A. 19 November 2017: Honestly? He probably sees the nude photo as your offer of sex on a plate. He has a week on his own. Why not have someone with him who is offering herself to him?
Whether he has any intention of making your relationship more long term than the... (read in full...)
Why does this person not stop harrassing me?
Q. Why would someone who you have told them no and they know you don't want to do the unreasonable request they asked you keep pressuring you and pressuring you to try and do what they want. You have even blocked their calls and they still phone yo...
A. 19 November 2017: As you have not given the slightest clue what this is about (personal or business?), I think people will find it difficult to give opinions/advice.
Perhaps just a clue on what it is about might help?... (read in full...)
We had plans, should I keep him as a friend?
Q. I have been friends with this guy for a year now and we have recently gotten pretty close. se seemed like a really easy going person and cool guy to hang out with. He really opens up about his life and we have many deep conversations. Well this past ...
A. 19 November 2017: Should you keep this person as a friend? Only if you learn to not have such high expectations of him. You have caught him out lying now so you will always wonder if he is telling the truth.
You sound like you want more from him than just friendsh... (read in full...)
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