She says she will leave him for me, but wont say when!
Q. I need some advice. I know that what I am about to say isn’t the best situation or the moral thing to get involved in, but it just happens. Now i fell in love and I don’t know what to do. There are so many parts to this story and I will try to keep ...
A. 9 September 2017: Reading this, all I could think was "I feel so sorry for those poor children". You lot are all adults and have a say in the situation. They were born to "fix" things. Really? And now she is offering YOU a child as well. Poor poor children.
I got... (read in full...)
Any advise on this relationship will be welcome.
Q. I met a woman online about 2 yrs ago where she had posted she was divorced but was actually still married and her husband left her and was seeking a divorce. I told her she needed to finish her divorce before we could date because I don’t date ...
A. 9 September 2017: Shaking my head in disbelief and wondering if this is a joke.
Giving you the benefit of the doubt that it is not, I have questions . . . . many MANY questions . . .
And still shaking my head in disbelief as this sounds like the script for a... (read in full...)
Why did it hurt so much seeing him with another girl if we are just friends and I don't have feelings for him?
Q. Why did it hurt so much seeing him with another girl if we are just friends and I don't have feelings for him? I'm talking about my guy friend. I don't know if friend is the right word, we've known eachother forward nearly two years and always...
A. 8 September 2017: Most women (including you, I suspect) find it difficult to separate sex and love. To the majority of us the two are intertwined and, once we have sex with someone, feelings get involved. I suspect that, despite your protestations that "it was just ... (read in full...)
If he's not doing anything with his ex then why did he get so mad and ignore me?
Q. Hello I would like to get your opinions on this: I've noticed how ironic it has been in the past 6 months how every time my BF's ex is online (Her Facebook shows she is online), he is also showing online but is unavailable to take my calls. I've bee...
A. 8 September 2017: I am sure you have been on before about this. I haven't time to find the post but this all sounds very familiar and nothing sounds to have changed.
Your boyfriend will do what he wants to do, regardless of whether you are tracking and monitori... (read in full...)
How do I explain my decision to skip the reunion without bad mouthing the Dean?
Q. When I was in high school (a Catholic school), the Dean of Men was one of the worst people I ever known. He played favorites (if you were one of his favorites, you would never be in trouble no matter what you did but if you were not his favorite, ...
A. 5 September 2017: How sad that, 20 years on, he still has this much power over you. YOU are allowing him to stay inside your head. YOU have the power to evict him.
If this man was not going, would you want to attend the reunion? If so, then I say go and enjoy. ... (read in full...)
I think my boyfriend is going a bit too far
Q. I'm 15 and my boyfriend is 15 too We been together for almost 6 month but sometimes when we just kissing and stuff he grabs my butt and stuff but in the beginning I would always take his hands away from my butt but know I kind of got use to it and s...
A. 5 September 2017: Trust your gut instinct. Say NO and mean NO if he is doing something which you don't want. NEVER allow him - or anyone else - to do something which you don't feel completely comfortable with. Your body is telling you that you are not yet ready for ... (read in full...)
How do I materialise this online association?
Q. I have been using online dating and started talking to this guy 3 months ago. We quite quickly got to messaging each other everyday. He has a really busy job and when I kept suggesting meeting up he would say he is working late so can't meet and at ...
A. 4 September 2017: He is happy keeping you as a messaging buddy. He is either not that into you, not ready to date properly (has be perhaps recently split up with someone?) or he still has a partner and is just putting out feelers.
In your shoes I would be perfectl... (read in full...)
Why won't he be honest?
Q. Why wont he tell me the truth? Me and my ex split in 2013 both are choice. He moved to the north of the midlands. Anyway last yr he got bk in contact with me and since we have met a few times and he's been on weekends away with me and my little on...
A. 4 September 2017: I am sure you have been on before, asking the same question. I don't have time to look for the post but this all sounds very familiar.
As you are still with him, despite not believing or trusting him, I am not sure what you are expecting from us ... (read in full...)
Are there tips to make a man fall for you?
Q. I recently went back into the dating world after a few years in a relationship. I'd like to think that I'm confident and decent looking and guys do want to meet up with me. However on two occasions now I've met a guy in person and he has completely ...
A. 4 September 2017: I have a question: why would you want to contact a bad-mannered bloke, who chatted up the waitress on your first date and got her number, to tell him you had a nice time? Sorry, but that comes across as rather desperate. Most women would cut contact ... (read in full...)
Does he want to get back with me because he couldn't find anyone else?
Q. Hi aunts, and thank you in advance for any advice you give. I was in a relationship which finished some four months back. We were together just over six months prior to the break up, and the break up was painful but amicable with no nastiness. ...
A. 4 September 2017: What was the original reason for splitting up? Has anything changed on that front?
If something has changed since you have been apart and his original reason for ending the relationship is no longer an obstacle to you being together, then I w... (read in full...)
A fight, zero contact for 3 weeks. He should apologize, not me. What should I do?
Q. I left my BF 3 weeks ago after a fight. There's been zero contact since I left. I haven't contacted him and he hasn't contacted me. Yes, I'm the one who left, however he was the one who was in the wrong and should apologize. I'm not sure how to ...
A. 4 September 2017: Well, it doesn't look like HE is going to phone, so it appears you have two choices: accept it is over or swallow your pride and get in contact (it could STILL be over but at least you will know for sure). If NEITHER of you make a move, then it is ... (read in full...)
Boy likes girl but girl does drugs and isn't over her ex
Q. To quote "arrested development" ..."I've made a huge mistake" Sooo I'm going to give you the cliff notes version of the last couple months. Boy meets girl. They start sleeping with each other. Boy likes girl way more than he should and falls head ...
A. 3 September 2017: Glad to see you have decided to end this relationship (and I hope you were strong enough to carry that decision through).
Your love cannot save her. At the moment she loves drugs more than anything/anyone else. Until she starts to love HERSELF,... (read in full...)
I told him 10pm was too late for dinner and now he won't speak to me
Q. Dear Cupid; I met a man on-line, he asked me to meet him at a nearby restaurant/bar at 9:00, he then changed the time to 9:15. I texted him when I got there never got a reply. I waited for 15 minutes and as I was getting ready to leave when he ...
A. 3 September 2017: Glad to see you have drawn a line under this one.
Add him to your stories-to-tell-your-friends list and have a laugh about it. The guy has more issues than the New York Times.
You deserve much better. ... (read in full...)
My boyfriend doesn't hug me as often as I'd like
Q. I've been living with my bf for 4 months now, only got 2 hugs from him cause I had to sneak them but he said I'm too needy. He says he loves me but I'm too embarrassed to ask to cuddle with him. sometimes a girl needs to be held to feel better. ...
A. 2 September 2017: Two hugs in four months? And this is a new relationship? Wow. I really don't think it is YOU who has the problem, except perhaps to be more vocal in telling him what you want and leading by example.
How is your relationship apart from this? Do... (read in full...)
My wife of 30 years just confessed that she was not a virgin
Q. my wife of 30 years confessed that she was not a virgin when we were married. I was not a virgin when we met and if she had told me before we were married I would have been fine with it. My problem is she made such a big deal of telling me she was ...
A. 2 September 2017: So she had sex a handful of times (how many is not really relevant) with someone else before you. She then finished with him to be with you and has been with you 30+ years, 30 of them married to you. Is the fact she wished she had been a virgin when ... (read in full...)
Why are people so impersonal? My friends don't care
Q. Is it ok to only see friends every 2-12 months? Have only 5 "friends" who are well liked in their job, busy,work, (I work too!!) one is married with kids, they all have better friends, family neaby, and a good life so only have time for coffee o...
A. 31 August 2017: Do you just sit and wait to be invited, or do you make the first move and try to do the inviting/organising? I ask because I have quietly dropped friends in the past who have never made an effort to contact me, just waited for me to do the ... (read in full...)
Do I tell potential dates from the start that I have acne on my butt and thighs?
Q. I just got out of a 11 year relationship. I have body acne bad like on my butt and inner thighs. I feel gross...like no one will ever be with me because of the acne down there....would you be with someone who had acne there? Do I tell people about ...
A. 30 August 2017: Hell, no! That would definitely come under the heading of "too much information". Plenty of time to tell them if/when you establish a strong relationship. You've just been in an 11 year relationship, during which (we assume) you had this condition, ... (read in full...)
I Look Like His Ex And It's Bugging Me...
Q. Started dating this guy around the start of the month, he told me he broke up with his old gf last month. He mentioned her to me during our second date and said they were together for three years, I added him on FB last weekend and found out it was ...
A. 30 August 2017: Personally the fact he is trashing his ex would concern me much more than him having a "type" or the length of time they have been apart. My own experience of men who talk badly of their ex partners is that they will eventually blame everything bad ... (read in full...)
I'm worried my friend might in a controlling and abusive relationship.
Q. This weekend I was on a hike with some friends and witnessed something that makes me uncomfortable and a little afraid for one of my friends. I would like to hear your opinion on this situation. It was my first time having a chance to talk t...
A. 30 August 2017: In your shoes I would just keep the channels of communication open so that she can feel she can confide in you if she needs to. If you start probing or criticizing, she will just become secretive and defensive. Perhaps try to organize occasional ... (read in full...)
How can my boyfriend have all these text messages to other women? I feel like I'm on another planet
Q. Im just so upset and not sure what to do. My partner and I have been together now for 6 years, it has been a struggle as after the first 8 months of us being together he slept with someone else. I managed to forgive him for this and after time and ...
A. 30 August 2017: How do you keep someone trying their heart out for you and forgiving you everything? By never being totally available emotionally to them but holding them at arms' length. It is a form of control. Been there, got the t-shirt, would NEVER do it ... (read in full...)
Why 2 days later does my husband go off on me about something I said while drunk?
Q. I got too drunk on Saturday night - it happens only occasionally. I said something embarassing about my husband to his friend (who was also too drunk to remember). My husband brought it up - but told me it is ok - his friend probably didn't hear and ...
A. 29 August 2017: As I see it, you have two separate issues here: your drinking and your husband's verbal abuse.
On the one hand you say you drink to excess "only occasionally" yet you refer to yourself as an alcoholic. I suspect what you said to your husband'... (read in full...)
Break-up, Make-Up Cycle and After a Loving Weekend, He Hasn't Called. Why?
Q. I recently left my boyfriend two weeks ago, and now we aren't talking. My purpose in leaving wasn't necessarily to break up,but because I wasn't going to tolerate the verbal and emotional abuse. He can be extremely controlling and gonon tirades. ...
A. 29 August 2017: At first glance, this seems like a straight forward abusive relationship, with him abusing you. However, when you read it again, it almost seems that you enjoy winding him up (not phoning him back - presumably knowing what result that would have). ... (read in full...)
I'm craving attention and wishing for a double life
Q. Before you read this. Please try not to pass judgement. I know it may be difficult for some of you and you may not understand the way I am feeling. To be honest I would pass judgement on people like me before I actually felt this way. I have be...
A. 27 August 2017: Firstly, big hug. I hope your mum gets through her illness ok. If you need support, Macmillan Nurses are always available to help patients and their families with practical advice and emotional support.
Regarding your relationship, ask yourself... (read in full...)
Is it ever ok for your boyfriend to insinuate that you're fat? Feeling hurt and ashamed, how do I react?
Q. Hey guys :-) I was just hoping for some advice. I've been with my boyfriend for 7 years and I think of myself as a really good girlfriend to him. When we first got together we were both in very good shape. However over the years we've both put w...
A. 27 August 2017: Amazing how telling you the truth (that you are trying to squeeze into a top which fitted you two sizes ago) is taken to mean he is disgusted by your body. You asked his opinion and he was (perhaps brutally) honest. Are there other things which make ... (read in full...)
I am in love with a girl who has a boyfriend.
Q. To cut to the chase, i love a girl who is already on a relationship. She's a really close friend. I'm never bored when I'm with her. We have almost the same likes and dislikes. Stuff like movies, books, and game preferences are almost identical. ...
A. 27 August 2017: Stop beating yourself up. You got drunk and did some dumb stuff. Big deal. It's not the end of the world. Lesson for the future: watch how much you drink.
You have already seen this girl since so I am sure seeing her at school will not be such ... (read in full...)
How do I say "hi" to the cute boy on the bus?
Q. There is this cute guy on my bus that usually sits behind me. I've recently moved so this is at my new school, so I've been riding this bus for about 3 weeks. Anyways for days i've been thinking on how to start a conversation with him but i chicken ...
A. 27 August 2017: Baby steps.
Start with eye contact, a smile and a nod. There is nothing wrong with smiling/nodding at someone you see every day. Once he starts acknowledging your contact, try just saying "good morning" or something light like "here we are agai... (read in full...)
It seems women lose interest in sex after a while ...
Q. Why do women lose interest in sex after being in a relationship for a while? Maybe this Isn't the case with all women, but it seems to be like a continuously notorious pattern in my relationships. Women lose interest in sex but I still want it....
A. 27 August 2017: There are probably as many reasons as there are women who loose interest in sex (with other men as well as you).
Women need to feel loved to want sex. Do you make your partners feel loved and cherished? Or do you just demand sex whenever you want... (read in full...)
I want my LDR boyfriend to tell his parents about me before we go any further.
Q. So I'm in this DLR with a guy I've known about 7 months. When he was last up, things got heated and we both pleased each other using our hands which was fine. I'm a virgin and he knows this. He also knows he's the first guy I've really done anyt...
A. 27 August 2017: I think you are right to be cautious. Why does he feel the need to keep you a secret? I assume you have never been to visit him in his home? Is it possible he is already in a relationship at home, even married? That is my gut feeling because, ... (read in full...)
My LDR says we are just prolonging the inevitable end.
Q. I have been in an LDR for 8 years, and in that 8 years, we have only been physically together for a total time of 3 months on 4 occasions. The rest of the time has been spent talking almost daily on video skype and various chat apps. In recent...
A. 27 August 2017: But you have been in a relationship for 8 YEARS and still nothing has changed. If it was going to change, one of you would have taken the risk by now and done something to enable you to be together. Assuming your boyfriend is of a similar age to ... (read in full...)
Hard to read this workmate
Q. I am 38 and she would be around 27.Her office is next to mine but i dont know her name.A month back i repeatedly noticed her looking at me.I became curious(i had put on weight and didnt think a pretty girl would look at me) and we started ...
A. 27 August 2017: If you are married, you should not be considering taking this any further, regardless of what her feelings towards you may or may not be.
For a start off, you have no proof she feels anything towards you that is in the least romantic. She may ... (read in full...)
Broke up with girlfriend after her dad died, what should I do now?
Q. Hi, So.. I was with my girlfriend for 3 years and her Dad died about 7 months or so before we broke up. She wasn't close to her dad and hadn't seen him in years. She called me up when it first happened and I told her I was sorry etc and told h...
A. 27 August 2017: Your ex sounds like she doesn't know what she wants herself. Despite not being close to her father, his death is bound to have affected her. It is seldom the case that the death of a parent doesn't affect the children in some way, regardless of how ... (read in full...)
Boyfriend dumped me but when I date someone new he wants me back again
Q. So I've been dating this guy for a month but I've been starting to have dreams about my ex who I dated for a year and a half, he was a guy i could never forget but he dumped me but he keeps trying to get back together all the time and when I'm with ...
A. 26 August 2017: I assume your ex was your first real boyfriend, given your age. First partners are always special and difficult to get over, especially for females. You were very young when you were in the relationship and, hence, everything you experienced ... (read in full...)
How do I fix this verbally abusive relationship?
Q. Hi, I'm really am confused by my relationship. I am 27 and my boyfriends 29. I've been with my boyfriend for over 4 years. It's not been an easy four years tbh. When we met I just finished university. He was living with his parents, getting...
A. 26 August 2017: Sweetheart, people can only treat us as badly as we allow. He is treating you like this because you are ALLOWING it.
It always makes me sad to read posts like yours. You sound like a kind intelligent young lady. What the hell are you doing wi... (read in full...)
Should I tell him of my feelings?
Q. I have had feelings for a guy for many years which we did lose touch for a while. Recently we have got back in touch and been on nights out and walks with our friends. I know he has dropped hints about us and the way he looks at me I can tell he has ...
A. 25 August 2017: If he is shy, be careful how you word it (if you decide to go that route), otherwise you may scare him off. We can make our feelings obvious without being over the top.
Assuming you are able to contact him via social media or phone, I would ke... (read in full...)
I've just completed cancer treatment and now my toxic ex wants to come back
Q. Hi aunts, I've just completed a years worth of cancer treatment and luckily I might be OK, but my ex partner who was abusive to me during our three year relationship has got in touch saying he might want to get back together with me. He was with ...
A. 24 August 2017: Sweetheart, you may FEEL vulnerable, but you are a strong woman who has come through a life threatening illness and who has the rest of her life ahead of her. The last thing you need is someone blighting your future - as this idiot would undoubtedly ... (read in full...)
My professor was staring at me, is he signaling an attraction to me?
Q. I went back to school to finish my degree last year and had attraction/chemistry with a professor. He'd always ask my opinion about the class and we'd talk about life, work, etc in office hours. At first, I thought it was because I was older, but ...
A. 23 August 2017: Being married does not make him blind to the attractiveness of others. If you have been making time to chat with him, he probably thinks the attraction is mutual. From your post, I am guessing it probably is and that there has been flirting going on ... (read in full...)
Why won't he Marry me?
Q. Hi, I have been with my partner 6 years next month. I never wanted to get married, was never something that was important to me. Until I was in love. We have been together 6 years and have agreed to start trying for a baby next year after my friends ...
A. 23 August 2017: There is nothing wrong with telling him what YOU would like, i.e. a wedding before a baby. Next time you discuss trying for a baby, say "Heh, here's the thing. I've been giving this some thought and I would like for us to be married before we try ... (read in full...)
My boyfriend is asking for more than I can afford.
Q. Dear Aunts, I have been visiting my boyfriend for a week now so today im leaving ive decided to take him out for lunch. He just told me that it would be better if i buy him grocery. Im a student I don't have that kind of money. All i wanted was to ...
A. 22 August 2017: Did he actually say he expected you to buy him LOTS of groceries? I would have taken his comment to mean that he would rather you spent the money you were going to spend on one meal for the two of you on groceries which, for the same money, would ... (read in full...)
He spent 5 years in prison for crippling a child in a drunken car accident
Q. Would you date someone with a criminal record ? I met this guy at a party of a mutual friend. We spent the whole night talking and exchanged numbers. After spending hours a day texting / talking we went on an amazing first date. At the end of ...
A. 20 August 2017: You are going into this with your eyes open and after giving it much consideration. From the bottom of my heart, I wish you both the best of luck.
... (read in full...)
He says the sex is better with me but he still keeps his girlfriend. Do I wait around or end things?
Q. Back in January I met this guy on Tinder. We started off talking every single day just clicking really well and having great conversations. After we met one or two times we had a conversation and he said that he wasn't looking for a relationship and ...
A. 20 August 2017: It is always sad to read posts like yours and realize some people really think they are worth so little. He is throwing you crumbs of hope for "the future" (which will never come) so you keep coming back but he has no intention of offering you any ... (read in full...)
He spent 5 years in prison for crippling a child in a drunken car accident
Q. Would you date someone with a criminal record ? I met this guy at a party of a mutual friend. We spent the whole night talking and exchanged numbers. After spending hours a day texting / talking we went on an amazing first date. At the end of ...
A. 18 August 2017: Sending hugs. Really really tricky situation to be in and a very difficult decision to make.
We all make mistakes in life. It is just that most of us "get away with it" because we manage not to have an accident or kill anyone (or injure them to ... (read in full...)
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