New here? Register in under one minute   Already a member? Login245055 questions, 1084567 answers  

  DearCupid.ORG relationship advice
  Got a relationship, dating, love or sex question? Ask for help!Search
 New Questions Answers . Most Discussed Viewed . Unanswered . Followups . Forums . Top agony aunts . About Us .  Articles  . Sitemap
*oucannotbeserious agony aunt

*oucannotbeserious

United Kingdom  (Female   XML/RSS

Like what she writes?
... Add *oucannotbeserious to your favourite agony aunts

Want to get in touch?
... Send *oucannotbeserious a private message

*oucannotbeserious's Ratings
Excellent77%
Average6%
Poor17%
< Prev5859606162636465666768Next > [98 pages, 3864 answers]

He is very confused, should I give up?

Q.   Hello everyone, I'm 25 years old homosexual guy. two months ago I met a guy on Skype (who lives not so away from me). At first we talked like friends, but then we started flirting and now it seems that we like each other very much. we talk on Skype...

A.   23 January 2018: There are two of you involved in this scenario and you have to respect that HE is not ready yet for a relationship with another man. He may NEVER be ready. At best he may "dabble" but he won't come out any time soon. You KNOW you are just lin... (read in full...)

Is he using me as a means to come to Canada?

Q.   Hello I married a man from Africa and I am Canadian. We have been together for 11 months and I am trying to get him to Canada. He has been good to me but very dominant and expects I be submissive and do whatever he says to me. If I don’t he ge...

A.   21 January 2018: Isn't it funny how a story can change completely when you omit a few relevant facts? Your first post only mentioned your concern about the female friends, nothing about you living apart, etc. Is there anything else you have not bothered to mention ... (read in full...)

He's abusive and I need to get out

Q.   I'm going through a really difficult period in my life and don't know what to do. How to restart and go on... I'm 41 and have been with my husband for 15 years, no kids. Good times and bad. Well now things have gotten pretty bad. The good times y...

A.   21 January 2018: Nothing to add to the advice already given but didn't want to read and run. Just wanted to say, you are doing the right thing in getting out of this abusive relationship. You WILL cope on your own, and you will be happier because you will be safe. ... (read in full...)

I feel I owe this married man an apology

Q.   Hello Aunts, I met this man sometime in 2015 when i was on a temporal job in another state in the country. He is Married with a son. When we first met, he was attracted to me and we pretty get along so well. He dropped hints about dating me bu...

A.   20 January 2018: Perhaps you could ask his wife and family what you should do? What do you think their response would be? Your "relationship" reminds me of dogs who chase cars. As long as the car keeps going, the dog keeps chasing. If the car stops, then so does ... (read in full...)

Boyfriend shows no respect

Q.   I have been with my boyfriend for 8 months now and we have been practically living together since day one. First off he is a total momma's boy, which I have no problem with. But I know he will never out me first before her. My problem is that he ...

A.   20 January 2018: So what is it you love about this uncouth foul-mouthed individual? And why do you not think you deserve better? The fact that you have been living together almost from the start of your relationship leads me to suspect you moved in with him to e... (read in full...)

Is it normal to keep in touch with ex's now he's married?

Q.   Hello My husband and I have been together for 11 months. Our relationship for the most part is very passionate and loving. We have had a few arguments but who doesn’t? Overall I love him a lot and want to spend my life with him There are a...

A.   20 January 2018: What do I think? I think he has sown his wild oats (lots and lots of them, by the sound of it) but have now chosen to settle down with YOU, not with any of these other ladies. I also think it says a lot about his character that he has treated ... (read in full...)

Does he want me anymore?

Q.   Hiya sorry if this is long I’ve been with my partner for 4 years we have a 2 year old daughter together we have had a few relationship problems this last few months such as our sex life has been non existent then I find porn on his phone which makes ...

A.   20 January 2018: Oh sweetheart, what are you getting from this relationship? From your post, it appears to be unhappiness, disrespect and insecurity. Do you not think you are worth so much more? Your lovely little daughter is fast approaching an age where she will... (read in full...)

Is it mean to ghost someone who is nice but you just don't want to see anymore?

Q.   Would it be mean to ghost, a guy who treated you good for over six months, but it just isn't working for you, I don't want to cry when I break up with him in person, so I just want to block him, my girlfriend tells me, that be cruel,not giving him a ...

A.   20 January 2018: It's a shame you never learned how to face difficult situations and end things properly instead of taking the coward's way out and running away. Nobody actually LIKES finishing with someone (unless they are a total a$$hole) and nobody LIKES ca... (read in full...)

How do I get my life back?

Q.   Husband found out I have been using tumblr for fandom stuff and threatened to smash my phone. He didn't understand what "reblogging" meant and thought that character pictures were actually real dudes. I'm not allowed to talk to "strange people on ...

A.   20 January 2018: People will only treat us the way we allow them to treat us. YOU are allowing your husband to treat you in this abysmal way. As I see it, you have two choices: stand up to him and reclaim your life, regardless of what he thinks or says, or get t... (read in full...)

Should I ask him if he's ever had sex with her?

Q.   Hi guys! Quick question.. I've been having a sexual relationship with a man for almost a year. We used to work together but we now both moved on to other jobs right after the first time we had sex. So here's the thing- Right before we had se...

A.   18 January 2018: So are you saying that anyone who has dated anyone you know it automatically out of bounds? Wow! Glad not everyone thinks that way. I have been in a relationship for many years with a man who I met when he dated one of my closest friends. After they ... (read in full...)

How do I respond to his confession that he's falling for me?

Q.   My colleague and I have a very good relationship. He is someone very supportive and protective of me. A handsome and neat guy with high sense of morality. I am 4 months in the job and we have had a lot to talk about. We have a good rapport and...

A.   18 January 2018: Dating someone you work with is seldom a smart move. What happens if the relationship doesn't work out? Can you carry on working together or will one of you need to find a new job? What is management's view on co-workers dating? Some companies take ... (read in full...)

Why did he block me? Was it because I didn’t have sex with him?

Q.   Hey guys.. I randomly met this guy last week and as soon as I saw him, I liked him. He seemed shy and I could tell he was into me but I knew he wouldn't ask me out, so I did. He took my number and he asked me to dinner on Saturday. Well he knew how ...

A.   18 January 2018: The only thing you did wrong was going to the home of a man you had only just met. You could have put yourself in all kinds of danger. Please don't even think of doing that again. You were "lucky" in a way because he is so shy/inept that he didn'... (read in full...)

Apart from these issues my boyfriend is great.

Q.   I have been with my boyfriend for four months now. We get along really well. He use to be a well known player in our town. The sex is alright. He likes it better than me. Hence the fact I've had better lovers. The two issues I'm having are this: ...

A.   18 January 2018: Oh sweetheart, OF COURSE you can do better. You sound like an intelligent sensitive lady, while he sounds like a proper piece of work. If he doesn't respect your feelings enough to not call you names like this, then he won't respect your feelings ... (read in full...)

My ex treated me badly, now I don't have the confidence to date again.

Q.   I don't think I'm still fully over what happened with my ex/ex friend and it still affects potential dating. It's been over a year now since I last saw him. We started out as friends, then it became more, but he wasn't treating me well so I ended ...

A.   18 January 2018: Every time you think of a reason NOT to meet this man, think of TWO reasons to meet him. The most important thing to remember is that, while this meeting may not necessarily lead to anything, you won't know until you try and this man is not your ex. ... (read in full...)

How can I stop thinking about my married coworker ?

Q.   How can I stop daydreaming about my married co-worker ( we are both in the medical field) and Work in close proximity. I believe we have a mutual attraction- I say this because conversation sometimes has steered to unprofessional chit chat ( we ...

A.   18 January 2018: You get over this man by realizing you are lusting after the man you WANT him to be, not the man he sounds to be. He sounds to be a back-stabbing whining spineless specimen who shows no loyalty to his wife of 10 years but badmouths her to anyone who ... (read in full...)

Should we split so that I can folllow my dream?

Q.   I've been with my boyfriend for three years and we've been living with each other for 2.5 years. I feel as time is going by that I'm changing and he isn't (this is probably because he's 25 and I'm 22). I do absolutely love him and he's my best ...

A.   17 January 2018: Follow your dream, otherwise you will grow to resent him for keeping you from it. It seems pointless to worry "what if" before you have even tried to get onto cruise ship staff. Do your research and see what is available. If this turns out not ... (read in full...)

Should I be open to casual sex to gain experience?

Q.   I am a 25 yr old male with a problem in dating/sex I cant figure out. I am finishing medical school this year. I put in a lot of work/long hours to get where I am. I go to the gym try new hobbies etc. I was shy in high school,got better in...

A.   17 January 2018: You seem to be under the impression that you can only gain "experience" by having multiple partners. What is wrong with experimenting and gaining experience with ONE partner? There are many people in happy long term relationships who have had ... (read in full...)

Ending Long-term Relationship

Q.   I currently live with my boyfriend of almost 4 years. We live 2 hours from our home town due to me being in college and us wanting to be closer to each other. We've lived in an apartment for almost 8 months, but since living together he plays games ...

A.   16 January 2018: Have you actually sat him down and told him that you are at the end of your tether and thinking of ending the relationship? If not, then I think, in fairness, you need to do this. You would be amazed how often people are just not aware of what is ... (read in full...)

Am I an evil step mother?

Q.   I am a stepmother who will be inheriting my husband Home instead of his adult child. I want responses on whether * am the evil stepmom everyone fears. Here is my story. My husband was a widower when we married,that was 14 years ago. His daughter ...

A.   14 January 2018: Your husband's reasons for doing what he has done sound very well thought-out and fair. IF he dies first, YOU will need the money more than his daughter will, regardless of their relationship. YOU will be alone, while his daughter will have her ... (read in full...)

To love, or not to love, that is the question

Q.   I really don't know how to put this out there, I normally like to keep things pretty private, it's simpler that way. I am interested in dating again after many years of being alone. I meet women all the time, lovely women, but there are some t...

A.   13 January 2018: Oh sweetheart. You sound like a genuinely lovely guy. And you sound like a very STRONG man. Well done for overcoming your addictions. That takes real strength of character. I suspect that most people do still panic when they hear the term "HI... (read in full...)

HE wants to play games with his ex, but I am not sure about it.

Q.   Hi, I started an LDR a week ago, we talk every day, everything is good. But he just got out of a 3months relationship ( his ex gf ended it..) Now, she's texting him, and he wants to go with it. wtich means he just wants to make fun of her and make...

A.   13 January 2018: Warning: if he feels the need to communicate with his ex, he still has feelings for her. The opposite of love is not hate but indifference. If he felt nothing for her, he would just ignore her messages. If this guy has only just been dumped, ... (read in full...)

I’m stuck, I feel alone and lost!

Q.   Hi, I'm struggling with life at the moment. My relationship is a mess and even though i want to make things right i just don't seem to be doing anything right. Work is the same, i have a great job and career but due to the troubles of life my repu...

A.   11 January 2018: How do you eat an elephant? One small bite at a time. That is the only way to tackle your lists. If you look at the list as a whole, it is little wonder you lose heart and can't even make a start. However, if you break it down into small chunks, ... (read in full...)

Help me find a way to choose

Q.   I don’t know whom I love, both men have an effect on me and both are way too complicated. I really would love your insight so don’t read and run ?? I’m 30 years old woman, I am at this very moment torn between the love of my life and a man I bare...

A.   11 January 2018: Being in love with a person does not make us blind to the attractiveness of others. However, how we choose to deal with that attraction says everything about our morals and us as human beings. You have chosen to play with fire by letting this man... (read in full...)

My boyfriend is travelling with another woman and told me not to call him

Q.   My bf told me to stop texting him for 2 weeks. I am on my 8 days of no contact it's really hard specially I am seeing him online all the time. We've been together for 7 years. But recently for the past 2 years we do not see each other in person due ...

A.   11 January 2018: What are you getting out of this relationship? You haven't even seen this guy for 2 whole YEARS. Come on, this is not a relationship. I promise you, you will feel a lot better if you take back control here. Stop contacting him COMPLETELY (never m... (read in full...)

I need help breaking the happy news to my partner!

Q.   Hiya everyone I’ve been with my partner for 4 years we have a 2 year old son together the problem is I have just found out I’m pregnant which I’m over the moon about but the problem is he doesn’t want any more children ever he has said I haven’t ...

A.   11 January 2018: Sorry, you don't just "find out" you are pregnant. You know how you become pregnant. This sounds to me like, despite his wishes, you have decided to go ahead and have another child, otherwise you would have been using effective contraception. That ... (read in full...)

My friend wont stop pestering me

Q.   Since mid December i decided to cut back on social media ( im not on it much ) i let my friends know i was having a break from it so they knew they wasnt being ignored. I really enjoyed having a break from it ive felt free and relaxed so this ...

A.   11 January 2018: You can't control what others do, which is probably just as well as SHE would be trying to control YOUR reactions to HER. I am puzzled that you say, on the one hand, that you are having a break from your mobile (which is fine & your decision... (read in full...)

I feel stuck,I know I love him but don't know if I can trust him.

Q.   I’ll spare the gory details, but I dated this guy for about 9 months (September ‘16 - Jun ‘17). It was the happiest relationship of my life. I was the first to say I love you (which I’ve never done before) about 6 months in; he said it, then took it ...

A.   10 January 2018: P.S. If you believe the universe has sent you this guy, then you must also believe the universe will send you what you NEED, not necessarily what you WANT. Every relationship needs compromise. Perhaps this is the universe's way of getting YOU to ... (read in full...)

I feel stuck,I know I love him but don't know if I can trust him.

Q.   I’ll spare the gory details, but I dated this guy for about 9 months (September ‘16 - Jun ‘17). It was the happiest relationship of my life. I was the first to say I love you (which I’ve never done before) about 6 months in; he said it, then took it ...

A.   10 January 2018: I always look at what people DO rather than listening to what they SAY. Words are cheap but, for me, actions say it all and actions don't lie. This guy proves over and over, in everyday little ways, how much he cares for you. So he is not big into ... (read in full...)

Will he break up with me because I don't like giving head?

Q.   I've been with my boyfriend for 4 months now and things seem to be going well. However he keeps asking for a blowjob which I'm not keen to do. I've tried it with him for a tiny length of time but really really dislike it. I've told him this. ...

A.   8 January 2018: What's the worst - not having this particular boyfriend or having to put out and do stuff sexually you don't like? Think a year down the line, 5 years and 10 years. Do you still want him nagging you to do something you find unpleasant and having to ... (read in full...)

He ended it after 15 years and I can't move on

Q.   hi my name is carol and upto 3 years ago i was havein an afair it lasted 15years but one day he said he couldet see me any more but never realy said why i was deversteted and still am thort after all them years i desevred better i still miss him and ...

A.   8 January 2018: Start believing you deserve BETTER. You deserve to be someone's No 1, not their bit on the side. Married men seldom leave their wives. Surely, as time went on, you must have realized that he was not going to leave her for you? Or were you just... (read in full...)

Did my husband realise that he was wrong or was the grass not really greener on the other side?

Q.   I've been married for 8 years and a month or so ago my husband started hiding his phone and staying out all night until the morning. On top of that he was treating me very poorly. I knew there was another girl in the picture. I saw text messages but ...

A.   7 January 2018: The question you SHOULD be asking is "Do I still trust this man?" You KNOW he was cheating. If he was making her promises of a future together, he was not doing that after an innocent shared coffee, was he? There was obviously some history between ... (read in full...)

My partner wants to move back to his home country but I'm not sure if I'll fit in

Q.   My partner and I have been together for 3 years. He's from the Czech Republic and I'm from the UK, where we both live together and rent a flat. I have visited the Czech Republic three times now (accompanying him to see his family), althoug...

A.   7 January 2018: How about taking classes in the language? Once you actually live there, you will really need to learn the language so you may as well start now. This will help you communicate with people, especially his family. No matter how stilted your attempts ... (read in full...)

New girfriend wants marriage .... I don't!

Q.   Simple situation, I've recently walked out on a 18 year marriage, we've lived apart or part-time for the last 2 years. We have no children, fury babies only. She has the lions share of income and I was not satisfied in our relationship, we simply ...

A.   6 January 2018: Just one bit of advice from me to add to the already good advice you have received: if you have not had a vasectomy, make sure you are using reliable contraception, otherwise you may very well suddenly find yourself being a father again. This ... (read in full...)

We met online a week ago and already love each other

Q.   I have been divorced for almost 6 months and have been dating. I met someone online and when we met in person we both felt an instant connection. He has already told me he loves me and I have told him also. It has only been a week. I have never had ...

A.   6 January 2018: Of course it is crazy. YOU know it is crazy - otherwise you would not be asking the question on this site. The first thing I did after reading your post was check your age, fully expecting you to be a teenager. If that had been the case, I would ... (read in full...)

Boyfriend doesn't treat me like an equal partner and expects me to slog at home

Q.   My partner and I have been together for seven years, engaged for two. It’ll be two years this coming April since we bought a house together, he is in the military and I work full time in banking. Unfortunately, I’m starting to resent him with ...

A.   6 January 2018: You have two options: suck it up or walk away. You have tried talking to him but, in your words, "he doesn't listen". Ask yourself a question: Do I want to spend the next 5/10/20 years living like this and being treated like this? If the answer i... (read in full...)

Should I confess to my drunken night?

Q.   I went out last night and got really drunk. A guy grabbed me and started kissing me and feeling me up and without thinking I started kissing him back. Then he said he would help to get me home safely but he got out of the taxi too and we ended up ...

A.   5 January 2018: If there is little/no chance your boyfriend will find out from someone else about what you did, then I would not mention it at all. Put it down to experience and vow never to drink so much again that you don't know what you are doing. If you were... (read in full...)

Behavior towards my ex girlfriend who cheated and lied, did I act good?

Q.   So I'm 19 year old guy and I was in a relationship with a cute girl, she's 17. After a month she dumps me over text. She was even planning for us to go to the gym together. 2 weeks later I found out out that she has cheated on me and got in a rel...

A.   5 January 2018: Well done on the weight loss and keeping up with the gym. You are still focussing on this girl way too much. The opposite of love is INDIFFERENCE. You are not indifferent. You are still obsessed with this girl. She may be "cute", but she is a che... (read in full...)

No sex in 3 years! Is he gay? Am I just a cover?

Q.   i've been seeing this guy for three years now I only see him on a Saturday till sunday, some times not even that we haven't had any sexual relationship yet sleep in the same bed , he said he don't think about sex ever , yet I found Viagra an durex ...

A.   1 January 2018: Who knows? Who cares? The bottom line is, YOU are unhappy. Him saying he loves you is not making you happy so WHY are you staying in this relationship? You are already snooping and prying in his stuff, trying to find "evidence". Of WHAT? It doesn... (read in full...)

How do you leave someone when they are the father of your child?

Q.   Hi, I’m eight weeks pregnant with what would be my first child. But before I knew, I had been thinking on and off that I wanted freedom, I started questioning being compatible with my boyfriend and resenting him. Sex life was declining and I had no ...

A.   1 January 2018: I too think this is a sign of things to come. Unbelievable really that he pulls YOU up about how you speak to HIM, when he has sent you a photo of THE TRASH! I mean, what the hell? You had already decided this relationship was not for you befo... (read in full...)

I ended things at Christmas and gave each other's presents back, but she is furious about it!

Q.   My girlfriend and I have been together for 5 years, but we don't live together. I've been hesitant of her moving in, because in the past she has professed the belief that a man should sacrifice himself financially for a woman. Because of this, we ...

A.   31 December 2017: Were you wrong in accepting the gift back? That depends on whose perspective you are asking the question. From YOUR perspective, then obviously NOT. From your (ex)girlfriend's perspective, then you obviously WERE. Was SHE wrong in offering... (read in full...)

Can this violent, abusive relationship be saved?

Q.   Me and my boyfriend have been together for just over two years now. We have a house together and before we moved in, we had a great time. However when we moved in, he kept throwing parties and his friends would strip naked and jump into our bed, be ...

A.   30 December 2017: I would like to ask YOU a couple of questions first: - What are you getting out of this relationship? - Why would you even WANT to save it? This guy doesn't even have the balls to admit he screwed up. He is in complete denial about do... (read in full...)

*oucannotbeserious's friends

These are mutual friends, so *oucannotbeserious has added them and they have added *oucannotbeserious!

Dumpedquickly agony auntDumpedquickly
Eagle'sfan1986 agony auntEagle'sfan1986
Juliet94 agony auntJuliet94
mystiquek agony auntmystiquek
Phil052 agony auntPhil052
Youcannotbeserious agony auntYoucannotbeserious

All Content Copyright (C) DearCupid.ORG 2004-2008 - we actively monitor for copyright theft

0.187527900000532!