I'm still not over her after all these years but she has a 2 year old daughter and says she's done with dating. Should I still persevere?
Q. So a little backstory… I've been crushing on this girl since high school and you could say I got hit hard. I never had the courage to ask her out; because it's high school she was way out of my league back then. I've put her in this pedestal...
A. 22 February 2018: Well, first of all I think you need to give yourself time to get over YOUR break-up. Don't try to persuade her to be your rebound relationship. That really WILL be a big mistake.
The reason friends and family are telling you it is not a good ide... (read in full...)
Could this new interest of my husband mean he is bi-sexual?
Q. My husband has recently begun enjoying anal penetration with a vibrator. He suggested that we buy a double headed dildo to try together for the first time. So, I went to the local sex shop and bought one along with lube. I just can't get over h...
A. 22 February 2018: It takes more than a guy wanting to experiment with inserting things up his bottom to make him gay, lol.
On a more serious note, if this is something YOU don't like doing, then STOP. The surest way to go off sex with someone is to do things w... (read in full...)
Ex says he wants to be friends. Why?
Q. Long story short, my ex-boyfriend and I dated for almost a year. We broke up a week ago due to the fact that he got a job offer far away. We both kind of chose not to do long distance and that's that, he leaves in a few months. He texted me today ...
A. 22 February 2018: I suspect your gut instinct about his reasons are spot on. After all, you know him well (certainly better than any of us on this forum do). Also I suspect he may be trying his luck a bit, hoping that, although you have broken up, because you still ... (read in full...)
My husband bought a perfume for a colleague.. Is he cheating?
Q. My husband came home from trip abroad. While i was unpacking i saw a burberry perfume i sent him a picture of it.. ang replied” for my colleague”... the perfume is obviously for women. He messaged again he said “ did i do anything wrong?” I felt ...
A. 21 February 2018: Was it actually a gift as such or did she ask him to buy it her in duty free? Big difference. ... (read in full...)
What should I expect about finances, personal space and housework when we start living together?
Q. Dear Cupid I'm gonna move in with my bf in couple.of months, we have been together for almost 2.5 years. I always lived alone or with my parents. So i'm not sure what to expect when we start living together like finances, personal space, house wor...
A. 21 February 2018: There are no hard and fast rules. Every couple does things differently. You need to discuss this with him BEFORE you move in and agree who pays for what. Disputes and bubbling resentment about money are one of the things which split up couples to ... (read in full...)
Should I message him and find out what’s wrong?
Q. So this is probably like the most unimportant question of all time but I seriously don’t know what to do. So basically I had been talking to this guy for a few weeks and it was going really well, we had a lot of cute banter and flirting and a really ...
A. 21 February 2018: I would proceed with caution on this one. Someone who blows hot and cold like this is either playing games or has some sort of issues.
Given that you really liked him, I see no harm in messaging him. Perhaps just a light "Hi, how are you doing? H... (read in full...)
I kicked my partner out of my house because of his hurtful comments. Advice?
Q. Yesterday I kicked my partner out of my home. He is 60 years old and has been a very high level banker in the past. We had a minor tiff when I confronted him (gently) by telling him I was hurt by a comment he made. I had shown him a mortgag...
A. 20 February 2018: Do one last "ridiculous" thing and dump his sorry ass. A partner should build up your confidence and make you feel good about yourself. From what you say, he does exactly the opposite.Stand up for yourself before he erodes your self confidence ... (read in full...)
I welcome opinions on if he is interested or not? Also why men play the three day game?
Q. I am a female in her mid fifties. I have done online dating on and off for about nine years. I have a good job, a home, friends, hobbies, have been told that I am attractive, work out, intelligent, funny and best of all, have a big heart. I started ...
A. 19 February 2018: I'm not sure he is actually playing any games. From your description of him, I suspect he is just not wanting to appear too eager. It's a fine balancing act when dating between appearing too casual and too eager. There are no set schedules of how ... (read in full...)
A relationship with an attached man is making me feel so sad?
Q. I've been seeing a man who lives with his baby mama for a year and I've fallen head over heals in love with him.He told me that he was in the process of leaving her and they are not really together but idk..He still live her a year later with no ...
A. 17 February 2018: Well, obviously you have NOT "always been single" because you are in a relationship with this man. If you could attract him, what makes you think you can't attract someone worthy of you?
He doesn't take you out for fear someone will see you toge... (read in full...)
I love him, but his deception can’t go on!
Q. Hi Aunts! I'm 29 years old and in an alleged relationship with a married man for the last one and a half year. It wasn't intended to happen cause we were only friends, but developed nonetheless. At first, he kept his marital status a secret from me....
A. 17 February 2018: Sweetheart, your whole relationship is based on a lie; he kept his wife secret from you. You only found out he was married when his wife phoned you. If you had had any decency (or common sense) at all, you would have finished the relationship there ... (read in full...)
My husband is a hopeless cook who thinks he is great
Q. My husband likes to cook but is bad at it. I am a great cook since I’ve worked in the restaurant industry for ten years. I want to teach him and have him start by helping me chop the vegetables and take care of the kitchen first before doing the ...
A. 17 February 2018: Wow! I had to read your post twice because I couldn't believe I had read it correctly the first time. Sadly I had.
He went to the effort of cooking you a special Valentine meal which you then threw away because it wasn't "top notch"? Such a s... (read in full...)
Is it ever okay to date a mates ex?
Q. Okay so there is this guy I work with (X) and I've always found him attractive but he dated one of the girls I work with (Y) that I'm mates with. I'm not best buds with her but we're pretty close. I've always seen him as off limits as he's her ex.. ...
A. 17 February 2018: Well, coming from someone who has been in a long term relationship with a very close friend's ex, I honestly don't see why you should consider this guy "off limits". Your friend dated him a handful of times, then finished with him. End of. He has ... (read in full...)
I feel jealous and insecure around my 10 years younger girlfriend
Q. I'm dating my girlfriend for almost 3 months, she's ten years younger, very sweet and caring, but there is a few issues that I'd like to share. She's still in college, sometimes I get worried and jealous about other guys hitting on her! She u...
A. 17 February 2018: If you are this worried and insecure after only 3 months, it really doesn't bode well for your relationship long term. You either trust your girlfriend or you don't. She cannot control whether guys will "hit" on her or not, but you have to trust she ... (read in full...)
Can a relationship that started out purely for sexual hookups actually amount to more.
Q. A year ago I started a purely sexual relationship with a friend of my ex bfs. We had both just gotten out of relationship so we were only looking for a hookup. It was suppose to be a one time thing but turned into regular hookups. They were amazing ...
A. 14 February 2018: I'm so sorry about your baby. You have been through more than the majority of couples will ever go through in a lifetime and this guy has come through with shining colours. He has shown himself to be dependable, strong and caring.
Yes, the rela... (read in full...)
His profile picture on his second account is a sex scene and he’s interacting with other women! I feel sick!
Q. I've been dating this guy for 2 months. We always talk about our past. He doesn't have a father, he lives a very hard and tough life, his childhood was a total disaster But i was kind of shocked when he told me that he has a fake Facebook account ...
A. 13 February 2018: Sweetheart, please listen to someone who is a lot older than you and has "been there, done that". You are on a hiding to nothing. He is not going to change. He will blame his father, his past, anything that springs to mind for what he CHOOSES to do. ... (read in full...)
He loves me but wants space? What does it mean?
Q. I have been dating a man I met 6 months ago. His wife cheated on him and now lives with a new partner but they had only just stopped sharing the marital home just before we met. He treated me like gold, told me I was the woman of his dreams and t...
A. 10 February 2018: My guess? His wife has been in contact and has asked if they can try again. Life was simple while she was with someone else. However, if she has heard he is in a relationship, realization may have suddenly dawned that he is not waiting "on the back ... (read in full...)
I'm tired of my sister, her obsession at finding a partner and the fact that she's constantly blaming me for her woes
Q. My sister is angry with me and is using emotional blackmail, or at least try to make me feel guilty. Ever since we were kids she was obsessed with finding a bf and later on a husband. Sadly, even though she was always focused on this part of ...
A. 10 February 2018: Nobody can make you feel bad without your permission. And nobody can take up your time without your permission.
You need to take your own advice, be an adult and stop getting drawn into her dramas. If she texts you, ignore the text until you are ... (read in full...)
I have a boyfriend but I'm still in love with my ex
Q. Hiya do you believe that’s there’s a one in life I met this man 5 years ago and I’ve never felt that way about anyone before we split up due to not having enough time for each other and I was gutted for months we decided not to speak as it would ...
A. 10 February 2018: Do I believe there is a "one" for us? No, absolutely not. However, I DO believe we convince ourselves there is "one" by fixating on someone, to the exclusion of all others.
If the relationship had been THAT special, you would both have MADE tim... (read in full...)
I cheated and I stay because I think I owe him
Q. (Mod note: based on your follow ups you are in an abusive relationship and require assistance beyond the scope of this site. Please contact the organization provided by the last post. This question is being closed now.) This is going to be a long one...
A. 8 February 2018: If he loses the plot totally with you one day and seriously injures you or kills you, what will happen to your children? Do you not think you owe THEM a healthy mother who is capable of looking after and protecting them? Is this violent abusive man ... (read in full...)
How do I work with a Type A personality at work?
Q. Asked this yesterday and no one understood my question. Please help me today. Thankyou. What’s the best way to work with a type A, younger,super confident and outgoing person? , when you are quieter, older, and type B? In a work situation.. a...
A. 8 February 2018: They are young. OF COURSE they know it all! Didn't YOU know a lot more when you were younger? I remember knowing EVERYTHING when I was a teenager. It is only as I matured that I discovered all the things I did NOT know.
I too work with a "type A"... (read in full...)
Is it ok if I want to be on my own? The relationship feels like 80/20 I'm just not getting enough out of it
Q. Hi guys and gals, Just here to seek some advice. i am in a relationship of three years, with a man who i love and care for deeply. we had been friends for a while before we decided to hook up. I'm tired and just not sure where to begin. i hardl...
A. 8 February 2018: I think you have already made up your mind. You are just wary of taking that final step.
Although you say you love and care deeply for this man, you don't appear to be getting any pleasure from your relationship. If he comes round ones a week for... (read in full...)
I don't accept his reasons for not wanting to date me.
Q. Hi I've been having problems with a guy and I want any advice to understand the way he is acting. I met him online many months ago maybe 5 months ago. It was a dating app so obviously that is the reason people are on there. However he will no...
A. 7 February 2018: Which part of your behaviour towards him did you think would endear you to him and make him think he would like to date you?
Sister, you have serious issues.
Have you ever watched the film "Fatal Attraction"? If so you will know what a bunn... (read in full...)
Should I pursue him or let it go? Help?
Q. So I met on a weekend trip with friends and met a guy. Our connection was amazing. My friends and I noticed he kept staring at me and then we eventually started talking. Our connection was pretty deep. Then things turned sexual. Im living here in ...
A. 5 February 2018: OF COURSE he likes you. Are you just looking for a confidence boost when people confirm this?
The question you SHOULD be asking is "what future is there in this relationship"? Would one of you be prepared to relocate later on so you could be... (read in full...)
How do I establish healthy boundaries with my sister without risking another estrangement
Q. Hi I need some advice on a tough situation. I will start from the beginning. I am 30 and my sister is 36. She didn't speak to me for 12 years which I thought was because of a really silly argument. in actual fact i found out it was because my mothe...
A. 4 February 2018: This is a bridge you do not yet need to cross. There is no saying the situation will ever present itself. Most relationships go through rough patches. Your sister may never leave her marriage. Even if she does, there is no saying she will actually ... (read in full...)
He’s blocked me on everything, do I wait to see if he comes back or do I move on?
Q. Hi guys I need your advise. Me and my ex have broken up. A few months ago Due to arguing. But we are still meeting up nearly every week. He kept accusing me of cheating which I would never. He never likes me going out because guys would approach me ...
A. 3 February 2018: Sweetheart, listen to me. Why do you not think you deserve to be treated better than this abusive controlling user is treating you? Repeat after me: I DESERVE BETTER. Now keep repeating that until you start to believe it.
I think you dodged a... (read in full...)
My husband has hidden stashes of Cialis, separate bills and now I found what looks like he may have bought jewelry. What is going on??
Q. A few years ago, I found a hidden stash of Cialis in my husband's suit pocket hanging in the closet. I felt and heard it when I was putting his laundry away. I never said anything because I didn't want to embarrass him. But, then I found a stash in ...
A. 3 February 2018: Your gut is telling you something is not right so I doubt access to his credit card statements will give you peace of mind. You are clearly on a hunt for proof of his infidelity and will not rest until you unearth evidence.
You don't mention ... (read in full...)
Should I just walk away and save myself more heartache?
Q. Hi recently I’ve started dating a woman who is a bit older than me (I’m 22 she’s 34). It was all going well we were seeing each other most nights, we had a real spark so good we started being in a relationship, anyway a week ago she said she wasn’t ...
A. 3 February 2018: Oh dear. So many labels these days. Years ago life was so much simpler: if you were dating, you were in a relationship. There was no dividing line. Nowadays there seem to be so many levels to going out with someone, all accompanied by their own ... (read in full...)
I don't want to give my friend false hope
Q. Dear all I just need some advice. A good friend of mine told me she had feelings for me last November. I didn't have those feelings so rejected her and she was upset. It was tough for some weeks but eventually she stopped being upset and we seeme...
A. 1 February 2018: You need to keep contact to a minimum for a while and certainly no physical contact because, by the sounds of it, she will cling to any threads she envisages as encouragement or hope.
Is it possible she is feeling vulnerable at the moment a... (read in full...)
I'm troubled. I love my boyfriend but am not in love.
Q. Hi, I'm in my early 20s and been with my boyfriend for 8 years. We have an amazing relationship. We are best friends and do everything together. However recently I haven't been feeling the same, I've had this feeling at the back of my mind for the ...
A. 27 January 2018: You got together when you were in your teens. For a relationship to last 8 years from such young beginnings is a major achievement. However, you have both changed as people in that time and you seem to have outgrown the relationship.
Being... (read in full...)
Should I get someone else to tell him I am not going on the cruise?
Q. Thank you for your patience... First some background; week before Christmas my soon to be EX apologised for hitting me, minutes later I said “that will be the last time you touch me like that!” He immediately erupted too accuse me of hitting him ...
A. 27 January 2018: Stop protecting him. He is an abuser. One of the reasons abusers get away with their behaviour is because the victims feel they should keep the abuse secret. Why do you feel you need to protect this man?
Also, is he actually so delusional that he ... (read in full...)
Her confession, while turning me on, makes me angry and I feel betrayed.
Q. Where do I start? My wife and I have been married for close to 17 years and have 2 young daughters aged 10 and 8. We are a happy couple are most probably enjoying the best period of our married life. My wife is hot and still looks amazing......
A. 27 January 2018: Everyone has a "right" to feel any way they feel. We cannot control our feelings.
HOWEVER, you need to bear in mind, this was 15 years ago and you have built up a solid relationship since then which involves two beautiful daughters. You admit yo... (read in full...)
He talks about money and costs a lot, is he testing me?
Q. I’m confused and would appreciate your help. I have been seeing this guy for 2 months and our dates started with walking, coffee, one time out for drinks couple of lunches and most of the time at his place, either he is cooking or most of the time ...
A. 27 January 2018: Why have you not had this conversation with him? Anyone on the outside can only guess what his motives are or how he views money. It could be he is afraid of attracting a gold digger. It could be he is very mean with his money. It could be he has ... (read in full...)
Should I tell my fiance about my fantasy of letting him have sex with others?
Q. Hello. I have a 35 year old boyfriend he is very handsome and active. He looks younger than his age which is a bonus. I love him so much and we have great sex since day one. He has introduced me to his family and friends and recently we got engaged. ...
A. 26 January 2018: I think you need to realize that fantasy is far removed from reality. This scenario may well turn you on as a fantasy because YOU have full control of what happens and how it happens. You also have full control of your feelings. In reality, you may ... (read in full...)
Was it wrong of me to intoduce him to my kids so soon?
Q. I started dating my ex husband when I was 15, he was the only guy I dated. We got married shortly after high school and had five kids together. I love him but neither of us were really in love with each other for years but we had kids and we were ...
A. 25 January 2018: Just reading through your post again it strikes me that you are seem to be simply swapping one "comfortable" for another. Is another "comfortable" what you really want?... (read in full...)
My job interviewed didn't offer me a job but asked me out on a date. Is this appropriate?
Q. I am job hunting. I recently got call from one of the jobs I was interested. In the middle of the interview, the interviewer did not offer me the job due to my school schedule clashing with the days he had available. Instead he asked me out on a ...
A. 25 January 2018: My advice: feel flattered and move on.
You chose to refuse him, as was your right, and (I assume) he took it politely and left it there.
He's obviously a bit of an opportunist but, as long as he didn't put pressure on you and doesn't pursue i... (read in full...)
Was it wrong of me to intoduce him to my kids so soon?
Q. I started dating my ex husband when I was 15, he was the only guy I dated. We got married shortly after high school and had five kids together. I love him but neither of us were really in love with each other for years but we had kids and we were ...
A. 25 January 2018: It is YOUR choice and yours alone as to how/when/if you introduce someone to your kids. You sound like an intelligent caring mother who views her children's happiness as her top priority. As long as this continues to be the case, I am sure you will ... (read in full...)
Do I stay? I have a lot to consider! Any advice would be helpful!
Q. My problem is quite complex and works across a number of different levels and areaa. So i want to break it down and look at some of them piece by piece. The under pinning issue is that 18 months ago i moved from the UK to Norway (Oslo) to be with ...
A. 24 January 2018: First of all, I would advise you to stop comparing your career progress with that of your colleagues. It is not a competition or a race. Everyone chooses a different path in life. They have not chosen to go and work in a different country and learn ... (read in full...)
Is this what to expect after 10 years? Or has my relationship run its course?
Q. Hi, I've been with my partner for over 10 years now. I'm not sure what to expect out of the relationship. If I'm looking for too much and it's unrealistic. I feel like we don't have anything in common anymore. He just plays computer games a...
A. 24 January 2018: Sometimes it's quite telling what people DON'T say in a post. For example, you DON'T say how you feel about him. Usually people say "we have this problem and this, BUT I LOVE HIM". No mention of that from you. How DO you feel about him? I am ... (read in full...)
I can’t figure out what happened with him?!?
Q. So I was talking to this guy for like some months now. We found each other online though we already knew each other beforehand, we started talking in a dating manner only from like 4 months before... so i had never really met him after we started ...
A. 23 January 2018: You dodged a bullet from a flaky man. Thank your lucky stars that he showed his true colours before you invested any more time, effort or emotion in the "relationship". I wouldn't mind betting he will be back in contact further down the line. PLEASE ... (read in full...)
Am I right to feel humiliated?
Q. Why was this cAfe server laughing at me? Ordered a coffee from a mall cafe 3 weeks earlier.. I ordered a Coffee and a small cookie,( the same order I ordered 3 weeks ago) Same server. Whilst ordering she began laughing at me saying “...
A. 23 January 2018: So why do you see buying/liking a cookie as something bad? Cookies are offered for customers to buy to accompany their beverage. That is the whole idea of having them on show. There is nothing wrong with buying one.
Reading between the lines, a... (read in full...)
He is very confused, should I give up?
Q. Hello everyone, I'm 25 years old homosexual guy. two months ago I met a guy on Skype (who lives not so away from me). At first we talked like friends, but then we started flirting and now it seems that we like each other very much. we talk on Skype...
A. 23 January 2018: There are two of you involved in this scenario and you have to respect that HE is not ready yet for a relationship with another man. He may NEVER be ready. At best he may "dabble" but he won't come out any time soon.
You KNOW you are just lin... (read in full...)
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