How do I handle dates where I don't want more?
Q. Often when I go on dates with guys, it becomes apparent to me quite quickly if I'm interested or not. I'm always respectful and kind on dates. But I have a very flirtatious smile, so often if I smile too much, I notice guys are responsive and want ...
A. 1 April 2018: @TylerSage: This post is from a MALE. ... (read in full...)
How do I handle dates where I don't want more?
Q. Often when I go on dates with guys, it becomes apparent to me quite quickly if I'm interested or not. I'm always respectful and kind on dates. But I have a very flirtatious smile, so often if I smile too much, I notice guys are responsive and want ...
A. 1 April 2018: Perhaps make the first couple of dates short lunch time coffee dates so you can get away easily? You could always arrange for a friend or colleague to phone you part way through with a "work emergency" which would give you the excuse to leave even ... (read in full...)
What do you do when a relationship has become boring?
Q. Hi what do you do when a relationship has become boring I’ve been with my fiancé for 4 years we never do anything together in that time we’ve been out for 6 meals and that’s it he never wants to do anything he gets stoned every day all day he was a ...
A. 1 April 2018: What future to you see for the two of you? He has made it plain he is not interested in what you want or need. How many more years are you going to waste on him?
Find somewhere to live, move out and reclaim your life. You are worth more than thi... (read in full...)
How do I get through this breakup?
Q. My ex and I have a long history. We were friends for many years and then about two and a half years ago, started a sexual relationship. We did everything together, and eventually decided to make it an official relationship about 8 months ago. Out ...
A. 1 April 2018: So sorry you are going through this. Sending hugs.
It is quite possible she has got back with her ex, or another explanation for her treatment of you could be that she feels guilty she was not into you as much as you were into her. Guilt is makin... (read in full...)
I’m not over my ex, in a new relationship but feel numb, what do I do?
Q. Hiya I was with my ex boyfriend over 2 year we split up 6 years ago and I still can’t get over him I was completely in love with him but I was young and didn’t know how to express it he was 8 years older than me I was 26 he was 32 he didn’t treat me ...
A. 31 March 2018: Why are you still pining for someone who treated you badly? Do you, by any chance, believe that the only "love" worth having is one which you have to fight for all the time? Did you have to "earn" your parents' love? If your ex didn't treat you ... (read in full...)
What is he hiding??
Q. I have been with my partner for 17 and a half years now. Just recently he has become secretive. He deletes things off of his cell phone, and goes to a different room when he talk's. Could he be cheating or hiding something?...
A. 31 March 2018: How do you know he is deleting stuff of his cell phone? Are you checking up on him? Has he changed his behaviour in any other way recently?
I think, rather than checking up on him or accusing him, the best approach would be to address your rel... (read in full...)
He broke up with me but I'm worried he will hurt himself
Q. I met a guy 16 months ago and fell instantly in love , although I felt he was too young and good looking for me he suffers ptsd and seemed to need me . He had no money and was struggling with breakdowns etc I helped him loads with money etc . He ...
A. 31 March 2018: Sweetheart, you need to leave him to his own devices. He is an addict and a user. He has basically used you for 16 months then dumped you when he could no longer get what he wanted out of you. He has even stolen from your child. Open your eyes and ... (read in full...)
Why won’t he respond to me and give me back my things?
Q. I have been involved with a guy from work for over a year now he was originally an affair from which I left a violent relationship. Things were going well although there has been a lot if issues a long the way financial and emotiobal more m...
A. 31 March 2018: He's understandably hurt and doesn't want any contact with you. Can you not understand that? You cheated on him. How would you feel if he had done that to you? Put yourself in his shoes.
Is it really that urgent that you get your keys and hoover b... (read in full...)
I feel like I am being pressured into having sex.
Q. Me and my boyfriend have been together about 2 years now, at first we were having sex all the time whenever possible, as it usually is when youre with someone new. Now it has calmed down a bit and I am completely okay with that but he is not. Its ...
A. 30 March 2018: No, you are not being silly. You are being emotionally blackmailed into having sex when you don't want it.
Men and women tend to view sex differently. Men need sex to feel loved, while women need to feel loved to want sex. Can you show him affe... (read in full...)
Why my brother is giving me silent treatment ?
Q. I am sorry ..i know this is a forum where people only discuss about their love problems. I have been a part of this forum for a long time..My issue is related to my family so i decided to share it here only.I don't know whether i am allowed to do ...
A. 30 March 2018: His demands that you stop FORCING him to abuse you are stereotypical of abusers. They will always try to put the blame on the victim and make it look like they pushed them into abusing them. This is NEVER the case. The abuser always has a choice - ... (read in full...)
Anyone have friends or family who knew of your partners affair and DIDN'T tell you?
Q. Me and my girlfriend been together for over 9 years, only couple of days ago she dropped a bomb shell on me saying she’s been cheating on me with my best friend, my heart sunk, I was heart broken to be hearing this. We met in 2008 till now we still ...
A. 28 March 2018: Don't assume, just because your mother and sister knew about the affair that they condoned it. I helped my brother while he split his life between two women for 20 years. I did it because he was my brother so I felt loyalty towards him (given my ... (read in full...)
I feel a lightning bolt of attraction but he's 30 years older and married
Q. I’ve met a coworker who I have intense physical chemistry with, and I mean we both just vibrate around each other. His hands shake and I feel electricity all through my body just walking past him or making small talk. He feels we must be some sort ...
A. 26 March 2018: You feel lust. Nothing more. This is not some sort of "soul mate" connection but a strong physical case of lust.
However, never underestimate the power of lust. It is a very powerful emotion. However, it doesn't last. Unlike this guy's marriage... (read in full...)
Was I unreasonable in not accepting my ex boyfriend's friend (female)?
Q. I had a row with my boyfriend and we broke up last year. I am torturing myself every day with the thought that I was unreasonable and it was my fault. I cannot move on in my mind. I am replaying the whole relationship over and over. My issue was ...
A. 26 March 2018: There were basically 3 people in your relationship. Quite reasonably, you were not happy with this. It sounds like your ex's friend was used to having him at her beck and call and pushed this as much as possible in order to push you out of the ... (read in full...)
My boyfriend wants me to take a lie detector test because his brother says him and I had sex
Q. I have been dating my boyfriend for 8 months now whom I love dearly. I’m 28 and he’s a year older. We live together. So my boyfriend wants me to take a lie detector test because his pathological liar of a younger brother said that we slept togethe...
A. 26 March 2018: Your gut feelings are spot on. Go with them. If your boyfriend doesn't trust you, he doesn't trust you. End of. You deserve better. Go out and find someone who deserves you. This guy really doesn't.
Apart from anything else, lie detector tests ar... (read in full...)
Why did he refuse to cuddle me after being intimate?
Q. I knew this guy from uni a few years back, I think we always had a thing for each other or were always at least attracted to each other. Whenever he used to see me, he would get nervous. We ended up seeing each last night and I went back to his...
A. 25 March 2018: Hugging is obviously more intimate to him than sex. He can stay detached while having sex but not while hugging. You were ok to bonk but not to hug.
Sweetheart, do you not think you deserve MUCH MUCH BETTER? Just because you have similar tastes i... (read in full...)
Is it too late to start a relationship at 30, having never dated?
Q. Hello, I'm a 31-year old guy with a question that's been plaguing my mind recently. I can't help but wonder if it's too late at my age to date or have a relationship if I've never done either before. I've never been in a relationship or ...
A. 25 March 2018: No, you are absolutely not too old to start dating. However, I don't think that should be your top priority at the moment. I think sorting out your anxiety and other issues needs to come first. Then you will be in a much better place to meet ... (read in full...)
Am I crazy for wanting to blow up my marriage and the last 20 years for my first love from 30 years ago?
Q. I arrived at this site searching on line for "I'm still in love with my boyfriend from 30 years ago", (sigh). I read a really good post, similar to my issue, but in many other ways not similar. My college BF - we will call him "T" - definitely my ...
A. 25 March 2018: I'm going to go against the general consensus here and say, NO, I DON'T think you are crazy. What I DO think, however, is that, if your marriage was more satisfying, you would probably not be tempted in this way by your ex.
I suspect you have sta... (read in full...)
How do you handle flirty guys?
Q. I think I have written this before, not sure... So I'm 30 and right now I have been going to the gym. I get along with my trainer very well to the point that he teases me, tickles me and what not. I actually like him, but I do know (because he...
A. 25 March 2018: Treat it as a bit of harmless fun. Remember it (quite probably) means NOTHING to them. As soon as they are away from you, they have forgotten about it. If their intentions are anything serious, they will make this obvious. Be friendly and flirty ... (read in full...)
He has a girlfriend but he took my virginity and I think he's the "one" for me
Q. Hi, I’m in love with a taken guy. We’ve been through so much together. He took my virginity, we fell asleep together, and his mom absolutely loves me. She’s constantly asking about me and says that I should come over more. BUT, he has a girlfriend. ...
A. 25 March 2018: Sweetheart, this guy, his "girlfriend" (imaginary or otherwise, whatever) or their relationship are of no concern to me. You, on the other hand, are.
You sound very vulnerable and this guy sounds like a stereotypical manipulator and predator... (read in full...)
How can I deal with this drama at work?
Q. How can I deal with this drama at work? I have been at my job for a year now (big corporation) office type of environment - really Quiet I work in HR. We sit in cubicles and the people areoinf me (two male coworkers) are VERY noisy. We had a ...
A. 24 March 2018: Keep your head down, do your job and don't give them ANY ammunition.
What they think of you is irrelevant. Their mocking of you says everything about them and absolutely nothing about you. If they are talking about you behind your back, you are ... (read in full...)
She wants me to prove to her that I want this relationship and help her not feel so alone!
Q. Been in a relationship for 8 years have a 10 year old step son who's dad was never really in the picture and we have a 3 year old boy together. When my youngest was born 3 years ago that's when everything changed. She said that I started to not care ...
A. 24 March 2018: I am a firm believer that people (men usually more so) need to know EXACTLY what is needed. A vague "prove to me you care" tells you NOTHING of what she needs.
When the kids are in bed, sit her down (or better still, get a child minder and take... (read in full...)
I think my girlfriend is too promiscuous to me. Break up?
Q. Dating for a few months I'm 30 she's 22, yesterday I found out a lot of pictures of her with her ex on her facebook from a few years ago. I asked her why she keeps them and she said she forgot to delete and that doesn't make any sense since they're ...
A. 23 March 2018: P.S. Why did you start dating her in the first place? You must have known something about her before dating her. Did the "slutty" appearance appeal until you took ownership of her? HER behaviour is not the problem, my friend. Your ATTITUDE is. ... (read in full...)
I think my girlfriend is too promiscuous to me. Break up?
Q. Dating for a few months I'm 30 she's 22, yesterday I found out a lot of pictures of her with her ex on her facebook from a few years ago. I asked her why she keeps them and she said she forgot to delete and that doesn't make any sense since they're ...
A. 23 March 2018: Cut her loose and let her find someone who deserves her. You are a psycho. ... (read in full...)
He calls me Bud! What’s that all about?
Q. My guy mate and I have been friends for quite awhile now, we get along really well and laugh a lot. We do a lot for each other and help each other whenever we are free. Only thing is he calls me bud! Why? Isn't that a guy to guy thing? I don't ...
A. 23 March 2018: I would imagine his use of the term "bud" is his way of drawing boundaries and making it clear you are friends, nothing else, regardless of how much time you spend in contact with each other.
Speaking from experience, I have a couple of male fri... (read in full...)
With all the blocking and unblocking on social media, I don't even know what to expect anymore
Q. So I've been seeing a guy for about three months now. The relationship was wonderful. We were both falling in love and had so much fun together. We met each other's friends and family and seen each other just about every day. A week ago we got into ...
A. 22 March 2018: Sorry, but how old are you? I usually read posts and then check the age of the poster. I thought you were 15 or thereabouts.
Stop playing games with blocking/unblocking . . . The pair of you need to start acting like adults. Seriously. ... (read in full...)
I don’t want to hurt this new man, and I also don’t want to wind up in a controlling relationship! Advice please!
Q. Hello, so I have two questions, both are related. First a bit of background, I was in a relationship with (and married to) a man who ended up being a narcissist and was abusive. (verbally, mentally, sometimes physically) We were together 7 and half...
A. 22 March 2018: RUN! Run fast and run far and don't look back. He may pretend to be all "understanding and forgiving" (of nothing because you have done nothing wrong!!!!!) at the moment, but this will change. He will keep looking for signs that you have been ... (read in full...)
My husband had an affair and now I can't sleep with him
Q. MOD NOTE: two questions combined into one Hi everyone. I've been married for nearly 6 years. We have a three year old son. Last year my husband and I had some issues where I focussed too much on one my hobbies and spent less time with him. He t...
A. 21 March 2018: By the sound of it, the command to "f*** off" was well overdue. At least it got through to him, which nothing else seems to have done. I feel your pain because I had a boyfriend just like this many years ago. The consistent uninvited and unwanted ... (read in full...)
The only time my girlfriend has orgasmed was with an ex boyfriend.
Q. We're together for a few months, our sex is great but she can't orgasm with me. I asked her why and she said she can't orgasm and that she had just one orgasm in life once with other guy in the past. I'm very jealous and insecure about that and d...
A. 20 March 2018: Why are so many men fixated on size? Your penis sounds completely fine in regard to size. What DOESN'T sound fine is your attitude towards your girlfriend. If you are truly so jealous and insecure that what she said will stay with you and affect ... (read in full...)
My ex has said sorry after many years, but I want her to apologise for more!
Q. My ex apologised in a MSG many years after we broke up but all she said was sorry things were said. A lot more than things were said and I'm not an emotional person. She went out of her way to get to me on numerous occasions because I wasn't b...
A. 20 March 2018: I read something somewhere once which has stayed with me to this day as it rang so true. I am going to share it with you in case it helps you.
Holding onto a grudge is like drinking poison and expecting the other person to die.
Tip the cup a... (read in full...)
I resent his laziness! What do I do?
Q. Hey everyone I have been with my partner now for 4 years everything was fine up until we moved in together I have now came to realise how lazy my boyfriend is I mean he doesn’t do anything he doesn’t work he sits around the house all day on his ...
A. 19 March 2018: I am not sticking up for him, because I hear what you are saying about him being lazy with little (if any) ambition to change.
However, before you call it a day on the relationship, try sitting him down and telling him you are thinking of leavi... (read in full...)
I need advice on stepping back gently from a friend!
Q. So i have a friend who ive known since i was 9 we are now 40. We do not live near each other about a 2 hour drive away. Its not that i do not want her in my life as she is a nice person and we are there for each other. She has lots of issues (...
A. 19 March 2018: In your shoes I would gradually build up the time between receiving her text and replying. If you reply, this only encourages her to text even more, so leave it a while before you reply.
Perhaps, instead of getting in too deep, you could just tex... (read in full...)
Is he just a long distance loser who uses his family?
Q. I write this post with a heavy heart. I don't even know where to begin..... My boyfriend has had a very bad past. He has chosen to do many things to disappoint his parents, siblings, and other family members. He went to College, is educated, ye...
A. 19 March 2018: Sweetheart, while you are a lovely person for wanting to help this family, this man is not YOUR problem. Stop trying to repair him. His family CHOOSE to let him leach off them (well, the mother does). As you have stated, he is a grown man with a ... (read in full...)
I am thinking of losing my virginity to a stranger.
Q. Is it a good idea to lose my virginity to a complete stranger? I just broke up with ny bf and I was planning on just making out with another guy but things might escalate....
A. 19 March 2018: You are hurting. You are seeing the loss of your virginity as some sort of "goal". Give yourself time to heal from the break up. Now is not a good time to be making decisions like this.
Chill. See friends. Concentrate on enjoying yourself... (read in full...)
23 years as a couple, love my spouse deeply but certain sexual constraints leave me unsatified. What can I do?
Q. I'm a male in my early 40's, have been married to my spouse for 15 years and we are a couple for +23 years. She has been my only sex partner or lover in all my life, so my experience is limited. We have a very good relationship and 2 great children...
A. 19 March 2018: Speaking from experience, most men are far too rough when giving women oral sex. They seem to have this fixed view that they should attack the clitoris with great gusto. NO! Absolutely NO! It is no wonder she cannot stand you doing that for more ... (read in full...)
Do you consider girl on girl action cheating?
Q. I am in a relationship for almost 3 years now. My boyfriend is out of the country most of the time. We are apart for months. I love him and I have never had sex wit another man nor have I ever kissed someone else. I haven't even flirted with another ...
A. 18 March 2018: Turn the situation around and ask yourself: how would YOU feel if your boyfriend was having sex with one of his male friends while in a relationship with you? Would YOU feel it was cheating?
... (read in full...)
I feel its time to let go but my heart will be broken
Q. Hi I’ve been dating my boyfriend for a year and a half. The first year was amazing . We got along really well. Both of us have children .My children are a lot younger than his. My youngest is four. My boyfriends kids are having a hard time with me ...
A. 18 March 2018: You have a clear choice here: break your heart in one swift swoop and start healing, or break it bit by bit, until there is nothing left to break.
Given the type of woman you appear to be, I really don't think the heartbreak will be that serious.... (read in full...)
She has cut me completely after our families learnt of our same sex affair
Q. Hello I fell in love with my same gender best friend of 4 years, we are both married to our husbands with children, had an emotional affair that turned physical for 2 months. We ended the affair but still work in the same building. She has cut me ...
A. 17 March 2018: You could do far worse than taking a leaf out of your ex friend/lover's book and concentrating on making amends for what you have done to your husband (and children, if they know about the affair).
To answer your question, I don't think there is... (read in full...)
Do the Aunts think this seems okay at face value?
Q. Okay, so this has been a big/hectic day. I've been in this relationship 5+ years. It's always been a life partner type scenario. Well today, we got into a fight, words were said, and she threw the "I want to break-up" card. We've had a really rou...
A. 17 March 2018: It would be interesting (for me, at least) to discover what ACTUALLY happens when one of you gets close to someone else. I am pretty sure things will not be as easy or as clear cut as you seem to think they will be.
It would ring alarm bells fo... (read in full...)
Should I be worried about what I saw on his phone?
Q. I have been with my boyfriend for a little over a year now and even have a baby together. I have really bad trust issues with him since I caught him lying about looking at porn and one night hook ups. Recently I looked on his phone and seen that he ...
A. 17 March 2018: Perhaps you should decided whether you trust him or not, and stop snooping on his phone?
You are very young and obviously got pregnant soon after meeting him, before you had chance to assess properly what sort of a partner he would make. (I hope ... (read in full...)
Did my wife believe me about the dinner receipt?
Q. Hi. I am a married man having an affair. My wife went out of town to her mother's for two weeks and I spent that time with my mistress. Last night my wife found a receipt of dinner for 2 when my mistress and I went to a restaurant the day her flig...
A. 16 March 2018: You mean like your wife thought she knew YOU before she found out about your girlfriend?
If she didn't know BEFORE she saw the receipt, trust me, she will be hell bent on finding more proof now. Unless she has her own ulterior motives for stay... (read in full...)
Rude and awkward flatmate seems to fancy me. What should I do?
Q. I'm doing two semesters at another uni and moved in in January, so I'll be here till September. It's a mixed flat and everyone kinda gets on well, I don't dislike anyone including him. I sometimes hang out with them and sometimes with friends I have ...
A. 16 March 2018: I think you are making way more of this than you need to. Your flatmate sounds like he may be a little socially awkward and trying to make up for it by trying too hard to be the opposite, hence his interrogatory manner and constant assurances of how ... (read in full...)
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