We had plans, should I keep him as a friend?
Q. I have been friends with this guy for a year now and we have recently gotten pretty close. se seemed like a really easy going person and cool guy to hang out with. He really opens up about his life and we have many deep conversations. Well this past ...
A. 19 November 2017: Should you keep this person as a friend? Only if you learn to not have such high expectations of him. You have caught him out lying now so you will always wonder if he is telling the truth.
You sound like you want more from him than just friendsh... (read in full...)
I'm disappointed he saw a new movie with his brother instead of me
Q. So my bf had a family funeral to attend this weekend. It is out of town far away. After the funeral he was bored so decided to go to see a movie that we planned to go see next week together. All he texted me was 'I think I am going to go see the ...
A. 19 November 2017: Wow, you have some very precise expectations of your boyfriend. No wonder the poor guy is feeling hen pecked and as if contacting you is a chore. I predict a post in the not too distant future from you saying he has finished with you.
He had been... (read in full...)
My confidence is wrecked, I regret telling people the truth about my ex boyfriend.
Q. I just want to vent about a situation that still bothers me. Basically I had a 6 month relationship with a guy I worked with. He was the first person I'd been with after my marriage broke up. I guess because I was vulnerable and feeling really crap ...
A. 19 November 2017: But that IS the point, sweetheart. You have moved on physically. Now you just need to draw a line and move on emotionally and stop torturing yourself.
You didn't see what was plain to see because you didn't WANT to see it. And that is FINE. At... (read in full...)
We still sext even though he has a girlfriend, how do I move on?
Q. For the past two years ive been sort of sexting/sending the odd nude to this guy. Recently though he's gotten into a relationship, however we have still continued sexting etc. We've never slept together its strictly 'cyber'. A few weeks ago (I ...
A. 19 November 2017: I find this sort of post very sad. Why, in this day and age, when so many young people come across as so self assured and confident of their own worth, are there so many who are so desperate for any scrap of attention someone will throw their way ... (read in full...)
Where do you go to meet momen?
Q. I still don't get where a guy is supposed to try and meet single women. Why is it so hard at my age? Everyone says that gym is a bad idea.. the bar is a bad idea, workplace is off limits, etc. You can't approach a woman at the park because you will ...
A. 18 November 2017: Where do your interests and passions lie? What makes your blood boil or makes your heart skip a beat? Take a course in something which interests you. Volunteer to help with a cause you believe in. You will then meet like-minded people, widen your ... (read in full...)
Is this the right person to hang out with?
Q. Should I go back to hanging out with this friends - I had a friend that stopped talking to me because I called her out on her actions. One of my colleagues and I started having out and became friends - it’s a new friendship and within three months ...
A. 18 November 2017: Firstly, I think you need to widen your circle of friends. If you only have one friend to choose from, then you are far more likely to undervalue yourself and put up with them treating you badly. What are your interests or passions? Join a group or ... (read in full...)
Would this relationship be wrong?
Q. I've already asked this question but I didn't outback detail in to it so I'm gonna try again! Is it wrong for me to be falling in love with my soon to be step uncle ? I've recently turned 18 and he's recently turned 21. My uncle is marrying ...
A. 18 November 2017: There is absolutely NOTHING - legal or otherwise - to stop you two from having a relationship. If your uncle hadn't met the lady he is marrying, you two would possibly not even have met.
Some family members may, however, find it a bit "keeping... (read in full...)
Should I leave a little heart in his desk?
Q. Is it ok to leave a little heart in his desk? Just want to know some opinions. There's this guy at work that I like and I'm sure he likes me too. But I think it was my mistake by not showing interest in him and I think he has distanced a littl...
A. 17 November 2017: I would find that a bit weird from an adult. You are in your 30s if your profile is correct, not a kid at school.
Why do you not just act friendly when you see him? Smile, acknowledge him, start up a conversation. That is the way adults normally... (read in full...)
Should we remain friends
Q. I left a man i love because he preferred open relationships. He took the initiative to remain in touch with me by occasionally texting me and asking me out. One one hand, i was still attracted to him and my heart beat whenever i saw his messages. On ...
A. 15 November 2017: You are addicted to him. Pure and simple. How do I know? Been there, done that, got the t-shirt. I dated a guy many years ago (when I was young and naive) who I would have walked over hot coals for. Even after I found out he was a Walter Mitty ... (read in full...)
How can I explain to parents?
Q. Hi all :) I’ll share a little details about myself and family before diving into my question. I’m 18 turning 19 soon and just started university and my parents are quite what our generation would say a little “old-fashioned”? I come from a Chinese ...
A. 15 November 2017: Difficult because (as I am sure you are aware) your parents are just being over-protective. They are concerned for your safety and going over the top in how they try to keep you from harm.
That said, you are 18 now and an adult. They are going to... (read in full...)
Should we remain friends
Q. I left a man i love because he preferred open relationships. He took the initiative to remain in touch with me by occasionally texting me and asking me out. One one hand, i was still attracted to him and my heart beat whenever i saw his messages. On ...
A. 15 November 2017: The bottom line is, he was not prepared to be monogamous until he met the girl he is with now. (Let's see whether he is still as happy when the excitement of the new relationship wears off.)
Much as you love him and think he is "perfect... (read in full...)
How can I get over my parents' neglect?
Q. how Can I deal with moving back home to parents that only care about money and are constantly berating me - I come from a Eastern European culture where my parents marriage was arranged (very toxic relationship) my parents hate each other but stay ...
A. 15 November 2017: You cannot change your parents. However you CAN change how you perceive your situation.
The good news is that, if everything goes to plan, you are only back with your parents temporarily. Also, as you are working such long hours, you don't ha... (read in full...)
Would it be lame to send him a thank you card for the interview experience?
Q. Ok lame idea or not? I posted before about the fact I completed my masters degree in creative writing recently, and I choked whilst writing my final project. As I suspected, my grade for that project was terrible and while I still passed, I’ve bee...
A. 15 November 2017: Absolutely do it! It would be a lovely thing to do. I am sure it will bring a smile to the face of the producer in question. Manners and gratitude are not nearly as commonplace as they should be, and this displays both.
I would keep it short (I... (read in full...)
My dad intentionally tried to shame and humiliate me at my wedding.
Q. I've had a very distressed relationship with my family since I was born really. It's pure dysfunction. My mom is mentally ill and I no longer communicate with her. Leaving me and my sister to look up to and rely on my dad as a sole parent for most ...
A. 15 November 2017: Firstly, big hug. No matter what age we are, we are conditioned to need and look up to our parents. When they let us down in some way (actual or perceived), it still hurts, like when we were children. But here is the GOOD news: you are no longer a ... (read in full...)
Is $3000 too cheap for an engagement ring for a high maintenance girlfriend given my income and background?
Q. Hi, I would appreciate if you can help me with my question. If a guy is a university professor, in his mid 40s with some debt from divorce, planning to propose to his high maintenance girlfriend who is beautiful and highly educated do you think ...
A. 14 November 2017: I think the cost of the ring is completely irrelevant. I still have the first ring a boyfriend gave me. It was a "friendship ring" - popular many years ago - and cost a few quid. (We were still at school so had very little money.) Just cheap metal ... (read in full...)
Difficulty with old and new loyalties
Q. Hi. I will try to make this brief but there is a lot going on in my life at the moment. I have been separated 6 years now coming to the end of a divorce although we are amicable my spouse wants still to be friends. We both have new partners alt...
A. 13 November 2017: You cannot fix your ex. If she has depression, she should be getting professional help.
You are a lovely guy for still wanting to support her but put yourself in your girlfriend's shoes. How would YOU feel if she was doing the same with HER ex? ... (read in full...)
Walked into an awkward love triangle
Q. Hi, for the last 6 months or so I have liked one of the men (call him Tim) from my workplace. He is one of quite a few men and women that are in our lunch group and we all go out for drinks and things like that fairly often. He has been in a co...
A. 13 November 2017: Just because Sally dated Tim, does not mean she has some sort of say over who he dates in the future. I appreciate you feel loyalty to her as a friend, and it is good that you didn't rush into a relationship with her ex - even though it sounds like ... (read in full...)
Led into a fantasy and I like it
Q. The other night after having sex my girlfriend told me she wanted to do it again but that this time I could do whatever I wanted to her and she would let me. She said she would be my whore for the rest of the night. When we started up again she...
A. 13 November 2017: Many couples enjoy role play and there is nothing wrong with it, as long as you both know exactly where the boundaries lie. Having fantasies and acting them out with a WILLING partner can be very erotic, as long as neither of you ends up having to ... (read in full...)
My housemate keeps having sex in our shared spaces and I don't like it.
Q. My housemate keeps having sex/foreplay with her boyfriend in our shared living spaces, like the living room etc. She tells me and laughs about it, but I actually find it so disrespectful and it makes me quite angry how she disregards my comfort ...
A. 12 November 2017: I think this is definitely a case of TMI (Too Much Information). Your silly housemate is just being immature, bragging about her sex life. Do you think she ACTUALLY has sex where she says, or is she just try bragging or even trying to wind you up?
... (read in full...)
I'm torn between the re-appeared ghosting ex and the lovely but dependent new love interest! Which one do I choose?
Q. I am going through a very tough situation and which is kind of a Love triangle. I've been in a relationship with a girl for about 1 year and I loved her so much . but 6 months back she ditched me for some reason. Everyday we used to go through a lot ...
A. 11 November 2017: While it is admirable of you not to want to inflict hurt on either party, you are old enough to realize this is not a realistic situation. You have to make a decision and SOMEONE is going to get hurt in this situation - you included.
If your new... (read in full...)
My best friend is faking he is straight even though we had sex.
Q. I'm a bi man and in the last year I've had intimate moments with my best friend, for whom I have always had doubts regarding his orientation. It's true that we have both enjoyed it but recently he seems to distance himself from situations where ...
A. 11 November 2017: I suspect your friend just got carried away and then realized that he does not want to go there again. Like many others, he was curious and tried it. while he may have enjoyed the physical pleasure, he realized it was not for him on a regular basis. ... (read in full...)
He wants to finger me but we don't want to have sex
Q. Hey am just 20 and my boyfriend wants to finger me... But we don't want to have sex... Is it OK... Or possible.. ...
A. 11 November 2017: Well, of course it is POSSIBLE. Not sure what you mean by is it OK" though?
In my experience, once you start with heavy petting (e.g. fingering), things are likely to escalate quickly and you will probably find yourself in a situation where se... (read in full...)
How do I react on my actress girlfriend intimate scenes on screen or on stage ?
Q. My girlfriend is an Actor she has not yet done any intimate or kissing scene but i am very uncomfortable with that. i have read many articles on this but i really dont know how to over come this situation, she says she doesnt mind kissing on scree...
A. 11 November 2017: Try to think of it as just a job. She may not even GET any intimate scenes.
I hear actors saying over and over again that these scenes are anything but intimate in real life. Remember, the couple are not alone. There are usually lighting crew and... (read in full...)
Its a year of no contact with married man, I suspect his friends are contacting me on facebook.
Q. Hello everyone. Thank you for taking the time to read my question. It's a messed up situation but I've been coming here off and on over the situation for a few years now. Several years ago and crush turned into a long term affair with a married ...
A. 11 November 2017: You have very high morals, for which you are to be commended. You know you will not be happy with anything but an honest open relationship where nobody else is getting hurt. Much as you love/loved this guy, he turned out not to be able to make you ... (read in full...)
Now he seems interested in finally setting a date I don't want to marry him.
Q. Hello, new to the site. hoping for some help. I 39 years old and my bf is 46, we have been together for almost 3 years and engaged for 2 of those. When we got engaged i was so happy that i would be planning my wedding, but every time i mentioned ...
A. 11 November 2017: A number of things could be going on here.
Deep down you could be hurt and angry that he did not want to get married when YOU were ready and you now want to "pay him back" by not wanting to get married when HE wants to. If this is the case, yo... (read in full...)
I'm sorry I took her back ... should I end it?
Q. SHould i end wid her? she and i came in relation even if she had a boyfriend back then. i somehow convinced her to come in relation. cuz i loved her. but she was kinda confused between him and me. been in relation for 2 months. i had to leave the...
A. 11 November 2017: What other option do you have? Stay with her indefinitely? Why would you do that, in the process ruining both your lives?
Be kind but firm ending the relationship. Tell her you no long feel the same way about her and you feel you should both mov... (read in full...)
How can a wife cheat for 3 years and act like everything is ok?
Q. After I found out that my wife was having a three year affair with another man, I gave her an ultimatum and she ended it....she eventually told me that she made a big mistake, and didnt know what she was thinking the past three years...I found out ...
A. 11 November 2017: She cheated for the same reason as MOST people cheat: because she COULD.
I have a different question for YOU. How was she able to meet up with this man for 3 whole years without you realizing something was wrong? Was she just very good at cover... (read in full...)
I have feelings for a recently married woman.
Q. I recently realized i have feelings for a woman who has not long been married, it is at the point that i can't think of anything else, i'm not sure if she has picked up on this by my body language, i am dying to tell her how i feel but..i can't ...
A. 10 November 2017: Wow, how embarrassing that would be for her. You would put her in a situation where she would have to cut off contact with you because she would feel uncomfortable with you.
I would advise keeping way from her until you have managed to get over... (read in full...)
Is online cheating okay?
Q. OK! I found out that my boyfriend of 8 years has been going on adult dating sites looking for women to hook up he'd say he hopes they can come over see I'd stay at my daughters sometimes and baby sit. is cheating OK if there's no actual contact ...
A. 10 November 2017: Ask your FEELINGS if it is ok? If it was ok in any way, shape or form, would you be feeling as you do?
Of course not.
You deserve better.
... (read in full...)
Why didnt he just tell me he didnt want o be with me anymore?
Q. My ex of 5 years and I have recently broken up. For a couple of months I noticed him being extremely distant. I'd confront him about it and he tells me things at work aren't good and it's not allowing him to spend time with his son like he use to. I ...
A. 10 November 2017: Because he is a coward and wanted to make YOU do the "dirty deed" and finish the relationship.
The question here should be, why didn't YOU finish it much earlier? You deserve better. Shake yourself down and move on. ... (read in full...)
I've developed feelings for this guy who is 2 years older!
Q. i met this guy 2 years ago and i developed feelings for him since we met to do projects quite often. he is 2 years older than me so he was always mentoring me. like i said, i developed feelings for him but recently i don't feel anything for him. he ...
A. 10 November 2017: As you have admitted your feelings have changed and you no longer have feelings for him, I wouldn't worry too much about what anything means. Be friends with him if you want but leave it at that.
At your age it is normal for your feelings to chang... (read in full...)
The guy I'm dating doesn't believe I have social anxiety, does it matter?
Q. I've been on a few dates with this guy. I feel a bit of a spark but I am worried about something he said to me. Part of me feels that if I liked him enough to date him I won't worry about what he said. I told him that I suffer from social anxi...
A. 9 November 2017: One person's definition of social anxiety may not be the same as another's. He obviously has a very fixed idea of what it is and, as far as he is concerned, you don't fit that description. Perhaps he has known someone in the past who has suffered ... (read in full...)
Can you help me find the words to express how I feel about him?
Q. hi there im 35, ive been speaking to a man for a while now, i find it very hard expressing myself, i want to tell him the strong feelings i have for him, but i get embarrassed, would someone word it for me please xx...
A. 9 November 2017: If you haven't actually met him yet, then I would save that conversation for now. You need to meet up and spend time together before letting your feelings run wild. ... (read in full...)
I'm growing uncomfortable with his questions! Should I go meet him for coffee?
Q. Dear Cupid, I met a 41 year old guy who describes himself as sophisticated, also wants a sophisticated lady, online.He writes he is ready for a new relationship. He writes he has never been married, has no children and lives alone. He has a ...
A. 9 November 2017: Reminds me of a guy I communicated with many years ago (long before on line dating, when you replied to box numbers from adverts in papers). Got writing to this guy who started off ok then got a bit weird, asking similar things to this guy you are ... (read in full...)
I've worshipped this girl since I was 16! Do I tell her?
Q. Basically, I've reconnected with a girl I had a relationship with in school. I was 16, she was 15 and we went out for about a year. She was my first love and in the end we mutually broke up for a number of reasons but it was not on bad or bitter ...
A. 9 November 2017: Basing a romantic relationship on a deep friendship is always a good move and provides strong foundation for the long term.
HOWEVER, her constant "runners" rang alarm bells. You see, I did exactly the same thing with my first boyfriend (many ye... (read in full...)
I feel keeping me a secret makes me disposable.
Q. I am seeing (dating?) a guy, though problem is, he is my ex's friend. I knew the guy first, and my ex knows we spend time together because we've been friends for years, but my ex is somewhat of a ring leader and if he doesn't like something or ...
A. 8 November 2017: Are you going to sneak around for the rest of your life just so you don't upset your ex?
Real friends will not dump him just because your immature idiotic ex tells them to. If they DO dump him, that will show them up for the fickle pretend ... (read in full...)
I'm in a mess I cant walk away from
Q. Urgh, what a mess. An old colleague messaged me to ask how I was getting on. We never really interacted at work. The messages very quickly became flirty. We are both married. But we met for coffee and there was definitely sexual chemistry....
A. 8 November 2017: He will walk away the minute his wife finds out. And she WILL find out at some point if you are meeting up that regularly because he is bound to slip up with something, or she will notice something and become suspicious. Or your husband will find ... (read in full...)
My confidence issues are stopping me asking for a date.
Q. Started messaging a girl I knew from school a few years younger than me around 3 months ago but she'd just gone travelling. It was fun and kept it up throughout her trip and her interactions with me on social media increased so thought she might be ...
A. 8 November 2017: Oh sweetheart. Sending you a huge hug. If other-thinking was an Olympic sport, you would be right up there on the rostrum. Your desire to get it absolutely "right" is paralyzing you.
The only person who never made a mistake or never got it wrong... (read in full...)
I'm 30 years old and my mother tries to rule my life!
Q. I’m thirty years old and I don’t know how to deal with my mother anymore. She has been a fantastic mom to me, offering emotional support, taking care of me, making sure I’m okay, but lately I can’t stop fighting with her. And it’s always over...
A. 5 November 2017: If you are happy to use your mother for cheap accommodation, and also to let her do things for you like booking dental appointments (you are THIRTY - you can book YOUR OWN dental appointments), then it is little surprise really that she thinks it is ... (read in full...)
I can't understand women!
Q. Guys, I totally need your advice............ You see, I am still 19, And Ive encountered lot of women, went on lot of dates, and im experienced in this shit..... but lately things have been wrong, U see, what will you assume if a girl comes next to ...
A. 5 November 2017: A few possibilities spring to mind. See if any of these sound plausible.
As you have been on so many dates at your age, I wonder if it's possible you have got yourself a reputation as being a bit of a "player" and these women are trying to teach... (read in full...)
Why doesn't he offer birthday wishes?
Q. Dear Cupid I'm with my bf for approx 2 years and he doesn't acknowledge my bday and never even wishes me happy bday. It might sound childish but I wish he could atleast wish me. If I tell him om the day its my bday, and ask whether he is go...
A. 4 November 2017: How does he treat you generally? Does he treat you well? Is he supportive? Does he pay when you go out?
If he is good in other ways (and I assume he can't be too bad otherwise you would not stay with him), then perhaps you need to accept that he ... (read in full...)
| *oucannotbeserious's friends
These are mutual friends, so *oucannotbeserious has
added them and they have added *oucannotbeserious!
|
