Is this too much for a first and second date or is he just trying to control her?
Q. So, a friend of mine is seeing this guy.. They started talking through Bumble. He's slightly older tha her, she's 22. They've only know each other a couple of weeks or so. He's a volunteer police officcer. So, they met at the weekend. Saturda...
A. 30 September 2017: Shaking my head in disbelief at how naive some women can still be. Despite all the advice out there to keep safe when meeting someone off the internet, she has given this guy her address?
I doubt he really is a Special. If he is, he must have ano... (read in full...)
What should I do as I see my husband is not using his own proportion in his family? Should I support him to keep independent and works extremely hard like this?
Q. I need honest opinion. My husband is the youngest and only son in his family. Got 2 older sisters. We are asian. We just married for a couple months ago. I found out recently that his sister has a glamourous lifestyle eventhough she keep borrow ...
A. 29 September 2017: First of all, stop working to some "timetable" a fortune teller gave you. This is unreasonable. Even if you believe him - your prerogative - you have no right to inflict his predictions on your husband and make him work towards making them happen.
... (read in full...)
Is she seeking attenton from me or just comfortable?
Q. We chat a lot. She seems to remember conversations like from two weeks ago, like we had a conversation about buses and she was per your conversation two weeks ago, she'll remember stuff about me things that I do etc We've known each other for q...
A. 29 September 2017: How old is this girl/lady? Warning bells rang for me when you said "I paid for her tea cause she didn't have enough for her train". Is this a young girl we are talking about?... (read in full...)
Fiances mother is refusing to come to our wedding unless we change our plans
Q. firstly, thank you for taking the time to read my post. I'm having problems with my fiancées mother. Backstory: me and him met in school, at15, we've been together ever since. We got engaged may 2016 in Fiji we had originally planned a two wee...
A. 28 September 2017: Sweetheart, you and your fiance sound like wonderful people but we can't always have everything we want. Sometimes sacrifices have to be made because . . . well, just because.
Your fiance's mother is being totally unreasonable. This is YOUR (i.... (read in full...)
Why am I stuck with the girl that doesn't want to give but wants me to do all the work?
Q. I been in relationship for 4 years. She was virgin before we met. I have high sex drive , she doesn’t. I tried to accommodate this by doing stuff in shower and not bothering her. Sometimes I ask her to go down, and she won’t put in effort, when she...
A. 27 September 2017: So let me get this straight: you are spending money with the goal of being repaid "in kind"?
Let me ask you something: what do YOU do for your girlfriend? Women need to feel loved to want sex. Do you make her feel loved and cherished? Or do you j... (read in full...)
Tough love or does my dad mean it when he says it?
Q. I have a job which I'm not enjoying and parents who flip out at me, I suffer with depression and find that when I'm backed into a corner, I lose my anger and have to defend myself, ive been in trouble with the law, had partners who have cheated on ...
A. 27 September 2017: Your main worry is whether your dad is going to embarrass you by "outing" you about your gambling problem?
Do you not think you have more important things to think about, like getting help to control your temper? Also getting help in being as... (read in full...)
She stopped responding, is that it?
Q. Girl I liked a lot and went on a few dates with started getting cold after I told her I liked her and the time we had been hanging out. I asked her why she was acting so different and she said, she was dealing with stuff and I couldn't help her. She ...
A. 25 September 2017: Well, if anyone every had any doubts that some males don't "do" hints, they only have to read your post!
Are you seriously in doubt what is going on here? Do you normally have difficulty understanding what people are trying to tell you? Do you f... (read in full...)
He says he will never marry me because of my past!
Q. Hello, My question is...is there any hope for a future with my ex-boyfriend? We dated for six months and he always suffered from retrograde jealousy for me. During this time I foolishly, casually mentioned my exes, not fully grasping what to...
A. 24 September 2017: Sweetheart, you need to wake up and realize this man is not the perfect creature you are making him out to be. Take off those rose coloured spectacles and see he is in love with an image he has created in his head, not with the real YOU - history, ... (read in full...)
I dated one guy, then his cousin and am now going back to the first man because his cousin was a cheater and a liar
Q. Im a 25 year old female. I was dating A from 2006-2009 , then communication got lost between me and him , so in 2012 i got close to B which resulted in me dating with B. A and B are cousins. I stayed with B for a period of 1 month and i discovered...
A. 23 September 2017: Do you only know two men? Why did you split up with A? If the reason is still valid, going back to him will only waste more of your time and his and inevitably end up in you splitting up again.
There is nothing wrong with dating cousins but ther... (read in full...)
How do you cope and embrace change?
Q. How do you cope with change. More so change within the work place. I work in an office and have been here for many years . I do like my job and the company i work. Obviosly i know things change and people come and go. At the moment we have a good ...
A. 23 September 2017: This, too, will pass.
If it is not what you would wish for, remember nothing is permanent. If you love it, enjoy it while you can for it, too, will pass.
... (read in full...)
Where's the sex gone?
Q. My girlfriend and I have no sexual chemistry. None at all. Every time I bring up anything sexual it’s, ‘we don’t have the time’ or she acts like it’s vulgar and what I’m saying is disgusting - we went to New York recently on our first holiday ...
A. 23 September 2017: Men need sex to feel loved but most women need to feel loved to want sex. If there is something fundamentally wrong with the relationship, a woman's sexual desire will go down the drain and not resurface until whatever is causing her an issue is ... (read in full...)
He was still receiving photos from his ex!
Q. So I found out that my boyfriend of 9 months still received pictures from his ex. He knew that it bothers me everytime she send texts, call or send selfie pictures. However, I do understand that my bf has no control of what his ex is sending him. ...
A. 23 September 2017: I am going to buck the trend here and risk getting lots of negatives for it (ha ha!). They are just pictures. He chose to be with YOU.
I have to ask how you found out he was sending the pictures on to his email? Sounds like you have been snooping... (read in full...)
Is the guy I'm dating being a jerk?
Q. I started dating this guy about a month ago and we've been on four dates so far.. We haven't gone all the way yet but have done some stuff in bed, as well as the usual things like cinema etc. TBF to him he does have his good points like he pays for ...
A. 22 September 2017: You say "I do think I could find a nicer man". Why are you settling for him when you feel you can "do better"? You are young and have your whole life ahead of you. If it doesn't feel right, then trust your gut instinct and draw a line under it and ... (read in full...)
I want more, he leads me on but in the end wants just sex. It's he just a player?
Q. Hello! I have been friends with this guy since sophomore year of college and I graduated last year. He's 25 so yeah we are still young, but I feel like we have a good vibe going with one another. We used to hang out and talk about everything and ...
A. 22 September 2017: I suspect he is just too young and immature to know what he wants, and certainly too immature to want to be tied down at this stage. You are probably a bit more mature and have worked out what you want.
You may end up together in the future, ... (read in full...)
I didn't bleed so is my hymen still intact after having sex lots of times?
Q. hello, well my problem is i had sexual intercourse several times but i did not bleed in any of them, so i'm wondering is it possible that my hymen is still intact??...
A. 22 September 2017: Have you ever ridden a bike and fallen off? Do you ride horses? Have you experimented with sex toys which you have inserted inside yourself? All of these could have stretched/broken your hymen without you even realizing.
If you are not experien... (read in full...)
I desperately want to reconcile with my ex husband. He had sex with me after he had broken up with his girlfriend but hasn't contacted me since
Q. This is a long story and I apologize but I really need some advice from some neutral parties here. I am wanting to reconcile with my ex-husband. We were married for 4 years. He was and still is the love of my life but he left me for another ...
A. 22 September 2017: I suspect the sex was "comfort sex" - he was hurt and alone, and you were familiar and available. I hope you were sensible enough to use contraception.
If he is recently out of this relationship, it would not be a good idea for him to just ste... (read in full...)
What should I do about this date with a man who suffers from PTSD?
Q. This is quite a lot to read but theres a lot of detail to it. ive been trying online dating for a while had a few dates but nothing special yet. A guy messaged me and we got chatting i could tell the relief in him that i wasnt stuck up and and ...
A. 21 September 2017: Trust your gut instinct and don't do anything because you feel you "should" or because you worry about the affect it will have on him.
You are very sensible to do as much checking up on potential dates as you can before meeting them. I am sure ... (read in full...)
Is this something I can fix by correcting a few actions in our relationship? Do I give her space and trust that she will end up with me? What do I do?
Q. My gf of 1.5 years recently told me that she likes a guy from work as as more than friends but is unsure about what to do. She said she loves me and she doesn't love him because it is too early to tell. She said she recognizes that it is unfair to ...
A. 21 September 2017: You are her Plan B in case the other guy doesn't work out. You are worth more than that.
Don't agree to any temporary breaks because that will just eat away at you. If she is already telling you there are things about you that she cannot see hers... (read in full...)
How do I get this woman out of my life without hurting feelings or jeopardising the other relationship with the mutual friend?
Q. I was on here a year or two back about a friend I have had for a while who was always putting me down, trying to be smart and reminding me in her jokey way of any 'blunders' I may have made in years gone by. She is friends with another mutual f...
A. 21 September 2017: Have you tried speaking to this friend who is the problem? Does she even realize the affect her "jokes" have on you? Is it perhaps her (admittedly rather uncouth) way of involving you in the conversations? Does she actually say these things ... (read in full...)
Why do people bad mouth their significant others?
Q. Why do guys complain about their gf/wives but then not leave? I have a coworker that always complains about his wife - I never bring her up but somehow he will say something about her nagging or sound so dis interested in any event that they ...
A. 20 September 2017: Personally I suspect he is doing it to see if any females will take the bait and say "Poor you. There, there, I will make it better for you."
I worked with someone similar years ago who used to complain about his wife all the time to anyone w... (read in full...)
Heart says carry on, head says we are now toxic! Advice needed!
Q. Hi. So my 8 year relationship seems to be at its end and I've been given an ultimatum. We split up or we stay together and try to make it work. Some background, we are a young couple, we have been together from a young age and have been through ...
A. 20 September 2017: You cannot stay with him just because it will hurt you both to part. You have admitted you do not feel love for him any longer. He is not happy either so, by staying, you are actually making TWO people unhappy. You cannot waste your life in this ... (read in full...)
I'm 28, watched my father die, and now watching my mother die. How to deal with anger?
Q. I am 28 years old. My parents have been divorced since I was a child. Both of my parents have had poor health for as long as I can remember -- extreme obesity, diabetes, high blood pressure, heart issues, and so on. As I grew up, I watched my fat...
A. 19 September 2017: Oh sweetheart. Sending you a big big hug. You sound so overwhelmed by this, and no wonder.
First of all, I have to say a big WELL DONE to you for not following in your parents' footsteps with the health problems. You ARE an inspiration but to p... (read in full...)
A thank you to your advice!! I am now engaged. You are all the best!! Just a Thank you Post =)
Q. Hi Everyone!! Thanks for your advice. I am engaged and getting married!! I came to your site because I am more of a private person and my mother passed away and don't have a sister. I love my friends but I'm not one to talk about gossip on my rel...
A. 19 September 2017: What a lovely thing to do. Thank you so much for your post. Wishing you all the very best. x... (read in full...)
Why can't I remember him?
Q. The year after I graduated from high school, I had a sexual encounter with a boy I had graduated with and known well. 40 years later we have reconnected...problem is I do not remember the encounter and he remembers every detail right down to what I ...
A. 18 September 2017: Are you absolutely sure it happened? Is he perhaps mistaking you for someone else? After all, it was 40 years ago and our memories can play tricks. Perhaps he fantasized about this happening but his brain has somehow turned it from a fantasy into a ... (read in full...)
My ex came back into my life only to leave again!
Q. He reached out to me after about 6 months of not speaking, during that time he was dating someone else. We ended up meeting up to talk, and we had great conversation. He apologized for things that wet wrong with us and opened up to me that "he just ...
A. 17 September 2017: You were his safety net, his plan B, his fall-back position. He knew you were still in love with him and, when the other relationship floundered, he needed someone to boost his ego, so came back to good old faithful you.
You are worth better t... (read in full...)
Boyfriend won't speak to me. What did I do wrong?
Q. I'm with my current boyfriend for about 2 years and yest was hia bday. He thinks bdays are overrated, but I still got him gift card and since he didn't want cake, got him a small cake and went to see him. I was hungry by the time I reached his ...
A. 17 September 2017: If you get back together, I would advise you to stop nagging him. If someone is a bit down, one of the worst things you can do is to tell them to cheer up. Next time try asking him if he needs to be alone - and then listen to what he says.
You c... (read in full...)
How should I handle one of my biggest regrets and the depression it is causing me?
Q. When I was in high school, I was so afraid of being bullied that I became a bully myself. I was a immature kid and the way I was thinking was completely wrong. About a year after I graduated, one of the kids that I bullied, Zach, died from ...
A. 17 September 2017: What a shame you did not have sufficient confidence to feel able to stand up to the bullies instead of becoming one to protect yourself. Sadly there is nothing you can do to change the past but you CAN change the future IF YOUR WANT TO.
You k... (read in full...)
The sex is just not working out. What are we doing wrong?
Q. My boyfriend often complains that we don't have enough sex. But he doesn't initiate ot, or try to turn me on. The other day we were hugging in bed then he rolled over, saying that he had to because he was horny ... like, sex could've happened if he ...
A. 16 September 2017: Ha ha! I suspect his telling you he is horny is HIS version of foreplay! You need to tell him all women are different and that his approach does not work for you.
It sounds like you are both jointly guilty of bad communication. HE thinks you shou... (read in full...)
I have a hard time trusting people and showing emotions because of my childhood and my strict mother
Q. I'm having serious problem of trusting people.In my childhood,my mom and dad were very strict.Everything I did had to be the best.For example I got punished because I got 99 in math in elementary school.My mom always criticizes me,and when I did ...
A. 16 September 2017: Sweetheart, remember nobody is perfect - including your parents. Most parents do try to do their best - whatever they see that to be.
The way you describe your mother demanding impossibly high standards from you and being proud of you in public b... (read in full...)
My step daughter is making my life hell!
Q. My step daughter is making my life hell. I'm a nurse on a trauma unit and I work nights. My job is stressful enough without coming home to a battle every day. My husband is far from perfect but his main flaw is his unwillingness to discipline his ...
A. 15 September 2017: Sweetheart, what are you getting out of this relationship apart from stress, distress, disrespect and now physical assault (because that is what this girl/young woman did to you).
Your husband tells you he finds you repulsive. Why are you stil... (read in full...)
How should I deal with this fantasy?
Q. I have been married 30 yrs. As far as I know my wife has never cheated.I find myself fantasizing lately watching her have sex with a stranger with a huge penis. I don;t mean like an affair. I set it up with an escort service and watch. It is not as ...
A. 14 September 2017: This is the sort of fantasy which should only come out if you fancy some role playing. If you are not into that, then you need to keep this fantasy to yourself. Nothing wrong with that as most of us have fantasies but understand that they are just ... (read in full...)
Her messaging with a guy makes me uncomfortable!
Q. Hi, my girlfriend of 7 years has been talking to a guy on and off for about 3 years now, I tell her that I'm uncomfortable with it and I get mixed responses. One time she said if you don't like me talking to **** Ill stop, I don't want to hurt you...
A. 13 September 2017: Your feelings are your feelings. There is nothing "wrong" about feeling a certain way. You cannot help the way you feel. However, your depression is very likely to be colouring the way you feel so are you both getting help for your depression?
... (read in full...)
What's this guy trying to say?
Q. What's this guy playing at? I've been seeing a guy for about 3 months as a no strings attached, it's sort of become FWB as we've gotten to know on another. I've never thought he's wanted more as he's never suggested a date or anything. We hav...
A. 13 September 2017: What do YOU want out of this relationship? It sounds like you want something at least one-to-one, if not a full blown relationship.
It sounds to me (just going off what you have posted) that he is keeping you as a casual booty call when he has n... (read in full...)
He doesn't understand why I find this kinda rude. Am I being irrational?
Q. My boyfriend and his baby's mom have a seven year old son together. They've been broke up for years. About a year ago she got locked up for running with the wrong crowd and he was unable to get custody at the time due to loosing his place so her ...
A. 13 September 2017: Not irrational necessarily, but possibly unrealistic and unreasonable.
Your boyfriend comes as a package deal with his son. He will always be his father. His ex's parents took in their grandson when neither of his parents were in a position... (read in full...)
I'm in a relationship yet I find myself attracted to a friend. What to do?
Q. I have been with my boyfriend for about a year now and I love him to death and I can't imagine life without him. When I was living overseas for some time, my elder brother had some room mates and every time we came back to see the house, I obviousl...
A. 11 September 2017: Being in a relationship does not make you blind to the attractions of others. HOWEVER, what you choose to do about it will define what sort of person you are.
Just because there is a mutual attraction between you and this other guy does not mean... (read in full...)
My crush is being weird!
Q. last week I ended pulling a gorgeous female while I was out with my friends, and we seem to have a lot in common with each other, she always liked me at school, but for some reason we didn't end up getting together, now we are, she sent me a friend ...
A. 11 September 2017: In your shoes, I would take her at her word and just not bother chasing. If she is messing you about right at the start, it does not bode well for the future. She may have some personal issues or even a boyfriend she conveniently "forgot" about in ... (read in full...)
Heartbroken even though I dumped him and now I want him to chase me and get me back
Q. I need your help folks. I was seeing a guy who was coming out of a marriage. He was single for about 8 months and we started seeing each other. Both of us knew each other locally and we were both surprised when we got to know each other and ...
A. 10 September 2017: You broke up for a reason and nothing has changed, so why would you want to go back into that situation? I totally get how much you miss him but he is not in a good place to start a new relationship at the moment.
He was fresh out of a marriage... (read in full...)
I 'almost' had a relationship, what's going on, s he being cautious?
Q. I am very confused. An "almost relationship" probably best describes what we were. We were close friends prior to any feelings developing. We were not physically intimate, there was a lot of cuddling and closeness when he invited me over. But he ...
A. 10 September 2017: Haven't you asked this same question before? It all sounds very familiar, but here goes . . .
You have different agendas for your relationship: he wants you as a friend, you want him as a lover. He can phrase it any way he likes, the end result i... (read in full...)
I often think fondly of my ex but don't want to get back with him
Q. Hi everyone. So I'll start with my ex. He was a lovely guy but there was no sex or passion. we were together a number of years but broke up a while ago now. i was okay. we are 'friends' but don't ever talk. I'm now with a new partner and thin...
A. 9 September 2017: Just because someone is not "right" for us, does not mean we cannot love them every other way or that we stop caring about them. Given your age, was he your first "proper" boyfriend? If so, he will always have a special place in your heart.
Don't... (read in full...)
I feel always destined to be different, to be alone, and on the periphery.
Q. Please can ask your thoughts on something aunts? I'm a lady in my mid 30s, professionally accomplished and financially independent. At work I'm well respected and I get on well with most people. In fact I get on well with lots of people outside...
A. 9 September 2017: Have you tried actually being the one to reach out and ASK for company? Like picking up the phone to someone and saying "Heh, I fancy a night out with you. When are you free?" Or "Are you free for a chat?"
People in relationships can sometime... (read in full...)
She says she will leave him for me, but wont say when!
Q. I need some advice. I know that what I am about to say isn’t the best situation or the moral thing to get involved in, but it just happens. Now i fell in love and I don’t know what to do. There are so many parts to this story and I will try to keep ...
A. 9 September 2017: Reading this, all I could think was "I feel so sorry for those poor children". You lot are all adults and have a say in the situation. They were born to "fix" things. Really? And now she is offering YOU a child as well. Poor poor children.
I got... (read in full...)
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