Why doesn't he offer birthday wishes?
Q. Dear Cupid I'm with my bf for approx 2 years and he doesn't acknowledge my bday and never even wishes me happy bday. It might sound childish but I wish he could atleast wish me. If I tell him om the day its my bday, and ask whether he is go...
A. 4 November 2017: How does he treat you generally? Does he treat you well? Is he supportive? Does he pay when you go out?
If he is good in other ways (and I assume he can't be too bad otherwise you would not stay with him), then perhaps you need to accept that he ... (read in full...)
Wish I could sort out family problems
Q. Married to a husband with dysfunctional family. His parent quarrel since he was kid. Been over 2 decades until now. (They) often threaten to divorce but not divorce. Their fights last for weeks. I don’t know what's wrong with my in-laws and my ...
A. 4 November 2017: They've managed to stay married for over 20 years. Whatever the dynamics of the relationship, for THEM it has worked for so long. Who is to say what YOUR marriage will be like after that length of time.
My mum and dad used to have similar ... (read in full...)
My wife says she won't move out of the house until our divorce is final. Why?
Q. My wife says she's not moving out until our divorce is final. She says she talked to a lawyer. Why wouldn't she just move? She has a home to go to that she bought recently with daughter...
A. 3 November 2017: How long have you two been together? I am assuming quite a while if she has an adult daughter. Is she entitled to half the house when you divorce? Perhaps she is protecting her asset? Or perhaps she doesn't really want a divorce and is still hoping ... (read in full...)
My boyfriend has women all around him and I've asked him to stay away from them and be with men
Q. I have a 42 yr old bf we dating for two years now i moved in with him in his town.i found a job in that area.he has been working 23 yrs at this company and had three wives within this company he tells everyboy what happens in his affairs most of the ...
A. 3 November 2017: You know all this about him and hate it yet you intend to marry him? Sister, are you crazy?
He is NOT going to change. Is that what you expected? He is who he is so you can either put up with it and spend the next few years fighting with him abou... (read in full...)
I don't like the way my parents treat me and I'm thinking of running to my boyfriend in Canada
Q. I've been in a relationship with a guy online for about 5 years now. I trust him alot and we do love each others. My problem is my parents. I've hated living with them. Everything has abnormal strict rules and im sick of it. I feel im living on a ...
A. 3 November 2017: Maybe it IS time you moved out of your parents' home but I honestly don't think moving to your boyfriend's home in Canada is the answer. Firstly, does he even WANT you to move in with him? I get the impression you two haven't even actually met in ... (read in full...)
I have a great life but no hobbies or interests that I'm truly passionate about. How do I find my purpose?
Q. So this isnt a relationship questions this is just about me and my purpose... So a little about me i’m 29 been with my partner 5 years live together, can see a futute together which consists of marriage and children, all is good. I am really clos...
A. 3 November 2017: If you work with children in need and are passionate about your work, surely that counts as your purpose in life? Most people are not lucky enough to work in an environment they actually CARE about so have to look for their "purpose" outside of ... (read in full...)
Christmas rosta bias. Bah! Humbug!
Q. Our xmas party (dinner/drinks) is in Dec. My boss at work did the roster so his favourites could go. Is this fair? Obviously some people have to work, but he made sure his favourite colleagues could go. Those of us working are OK in his eyes but...
A. 3 November 2017: Sadly people will always have their favourites and treat them accordingly. It is highly unprofessional but there is probably not a lot you can do about it for this year. Is there any way you can ask that people take turns at working on the party ... (read in full...)
He cheated. Should I?
Q. I’m married 20 yrs to my 1st love. We have 3 kids (14, 10 and 6). I found out 5 yrs ago my husband was cheating on me for a few years. I confronted him with evidence found in his emails and texts, pics of escorts and hotel records. He confessed ...
A. 3 November 2017: Two wrongs are not going to make a right.
You already know what it feels like to be cheated on. Do you want to be responsible for putting another woman through that?
If you have found out so easily that this man has affairs, do you not think... (read in full...)
Friend sponges off everyone. How do I deal with her?
Q. Hi, I have a friend who's used to living off other people. She's funny, smart and she still takes money from her parents (she's 39 years old!), "borrows" money and promises to pay back at some point. Goes out for drinks, meals and almost never...
A. 3 November 2017: You need to become more comfortable with saying NO to her. Nobody gives you YOUR money so why should you give it away to someone who CHOOSES not to work?
I think you also probably need to become more comfortable with being friends with her whil... (read in full...)
Work is stressing me out
Q. At the moment at work (I work in a hospital) we are overstaffed and each day 1 of us has to move to a different area. No-one likes this. How (can I) be less stressed? About moving areas, we take it turns, though some of us move more often. I ...
A. 3 November 2017: Can you apply to one of the short-staffed areas to work there permanently so that you don't have this uncertainty?
If this is not possible then the only thing that can change is your attitude and expectation. I know you say you have tried and that... (read in full...)
Advice on paying for sex?
Q. Little background: I am a geeky, fat male virgin who's never been on a date or ever kissed a girl. I don't ask girls out anymore because they always say no. I don't have much of an option in experiencing intimacy so I thought about paying for sex or ...
A. 2 November 2017: My advice: DON'T DO IT. You will look back and regret it.
You are still very young to be thinking you have no other options. My advice would be to wide your circle of friends and acquaintances so you get to meet more women.
Do you get out and ... (read in full...)
Do you ever get trust back in a relationship and if it’s possible how on earth do you get it back?
Q. I have been with my partner for just over four years now. We have had a rocky relationship, many hurdles along the way but overcome each and every one of them. I have trust issues, I don’t partially trust people and find it difficult to ope...
A. 2 November 2017: If she had said to you "I was an idiot. I messed up. I am really sorry and will do whatever you need me to do so you can trust me again" then I would have thought your relationship might have at least a fair chance of getting back on track.
HOWEV... (read in full...)
My husband ordered diet pills for me!
Q. My husband ordered diet pills for me online without saying anything to me about it first. He said he just wanted to help me because he knows my weight bothers me. I don't know how exactly to feel about this am I wrong that him doing that bothers ...
A. 31 October 2017: He's obviously not going to be invited to join the diplomatic corps any time soon!
That aside - and yes, I can totally understand why it would upset you - PLEASE don't be tempted to take pills without knowing exactly what is in them. They are... (read in full...)
Do I tell my son she's cheating?
Q. My son's wife is cheating on him. Both she and my son are 29 and have been together for just over 9 years. I received an e-mail about 4 years ago from someone who has sent me evidence that she has been cheating on him for the past 5 or 6 years w...
A. 29 October 2017: I would tell the girl you are not prepared to keep her secret any longer. Tell her SHE must tell your son, otherwise YOU will.
Imagine how your son will feel when he finds out about the cheating. Not only has he been betrayed by his girlfrie... (read in full...)
I'm interested in a separated man but don't like some of his actions. Advice?
Q. Hello, I recently joined a dating site, and I found someone I know, I actually was at his wedding. But his currently separated from his wife of 2 years and has 2 kids with her. At first I contacted him and told him that I know him and that I was at ...
A. 29 October 2017: Do you know what would be a red flag for ME? He is "CURRENTLY separated from his wife". But then I have a high sense of self preservation and would not want to subject myself to the almost inevitable hurt and drama which would follow. There is no ... (read in full...)
I have nowhere else to live my mother and stepfather have offered me to live with them but my stepfather is a nudist and walks around naked most of the time!
Q. Dear Cupid, I am a 44 year old single woman (and a virgin) and have nowhere to live because of various events in the past 2 years. However I am welcome to live with my mother and step dad, who are generous and considerate generally speaking. ...
A. 29 October 2017: You cannot expect your mum and step dad to change their life style because of you. After all, it is their house and you would be their guest. It is very generous of them to make you welcome back there.
Presumably you would have your own bedroom ... (read in full...)
Why would he say "I love you" if he has no intention of changing his life for you?
Q. If a married man you've been involved in a long term relationship with tells you he loves you, could he really mean it, even if he will never leave his wife to be with you? It's a terrible predicament to be in when you realize you now love this ma...
A. 28 October 2017: Because, in his own way, he MAY love you. However, he doesn't love you enough to leave his wife so he can be with you and make you his "one and only".
His wife is - quite rightly - his priority. When she finds out about you (which wives inevitab... (read in full...)
Can I believe him after just 2 months?
Q. I am from Palestine and currently living in Jordan. so I met a turkish guy at a resort 2 months ago, and we started talking and liked each other, and I kept talking to him even after going back to palestine. He then started telling me that he wants ...
A. 28 October 2017: Sweetheart, you need to get to know each other before you start even thinking about a future together. I have no idea what this guy's game is but this is not normal behaviour.
How old is he?
Please tread carefully.
... (read in full...)
How do I tell my online guy friend that I won't be able to keep talking to him every night when I move in with my boyfriend?
Q. So to give you a little bit of context - I've been talking with this guy over the phone for a little over a year (we met online) - Let's call him James. He lives in the US and I am in Canada. We used to talk dirty to each other over the phone during ...
A. 28 October 2017: If you relationship with James is purely platonic, can you not still keep in contact (albeit on a slightly less intense level) after you move in with Anthony? I mean, surely you are not going to drop all your friends just because you have a live-in ... (read in full...)
Boyfriend says his phone was hacked. I don't believe him.
Q. I recently found pictures of my significant other in his phone along with seeing him on website called backpage. I viewed his history and found him looking up girls in different areas. He denied taking those pictures in my bed from not even less ...
A. 28 October 2017: Sweetheart, you KNOW he is lying.
As I see it, you now have two choices: kick him to the kerb and find someone who you can trust, or hope that, having been caught out, he will not do it again. I think he will just be more careful next time at ... (read in full...)
I want a relationship with her! What should I do?
Q. Help! I've been asked by a lady friend to join her to a play this Saturday. I like her and my gut tells me the feeling is mutual. I want a relationship with this woman. What must I do to make my intentions clear? Do I take her to dinner after th...
A. 26 October 2017: The fact she has asked you to join her to see a play bodes well, so ask her if she fancies a bite to eat or a drink afterwards. You will have just been to see a play so you will be able to discuss what you thought of it, then move on to whatever ... (read in full...)
My boyfriend got another woman pregnant on a break and I am not feeling good about it
Q. I've been dating my boyfriend on and off close to 3.5 years. Nothing has been perfect, but one thing is we really do love each other. We've both been faithful, never any worries there. And when we did take a break before (a few times) we both ...
A. 25 October 2017: My initial thought is that, if he was only dating this woman for a month, I would be asking for a DNA test once the baby arrives. It would not be the first time someone had got pregnant and then looked for someone else to take the fall.
Secon... (read in full...)
Is my crush inappropriate?
Q. Hey all! I have a big, fat, unavoidable crush on a good friend of mine and I am not sure I should, nor am I sure whether I should talk with her about it. My friend is about 9 years older than I am, and I hesitate to bring anything up because she i...
A. 24 October 2017: If she is aware of your crush, then, in my opinion, SHE is the one who is inappropriate as she is much older and was in a position of trust when she was your teacher. To give her the benefit of the doubt and assume she does NOT realize how strong ... (read in full...)
Do I keep trying to contact him? Or cut contact despite his debts to me?
Q. Dear Cupid. I think I know the answer but I need some advice... So, I have been helping out an ex from seven years ago with rent while he's jobless for the last six months (He rents out a room in a house) (I offered to help him) on top ...
A. 24 October 2017: When "lending" money in this sort of situation, I always work on the assumption that I will never see it again so I only lend what I can afford to lose. Then, if I get it back, it is a bonus and a nice surprise. In your own words, you "offered to ... (read in full...)
I'd like to help them save their marriage!
Q. Oh boy. I have two friends that have been married for ten years. The husband has been having an affair off and on for three years with a chick he refused to ever completely sever ties with. The wife has taken off with other guys during their splits ...
A. 24 October 2017: WHY are you getting involved? And WHY are you trying to keep them together? This relationship is NEVER going to work. HE is ruled by what is in his pants, while SHE "acquired" him by having an affair and thinks she is something special and he will ... (read in full...)
I have the hots for my sister-in-law
Q. I got married 3 years ago, since then i have had a crush on my sister-in-law. She is a beautiful girl. Whenever i see her i have this uncontrollable urge to have sex with her. I love my wife but i also have feelings for my sister-in-law. Neither my ...
A. 23 October 2017: How about you do NOTHING? How about you concentrate on your WIFE, the woman you MARRIED, the woman you say you love?
Being married does not make us blind to the attractions of others. You will ALWAYS see other women we are attractive and who you ... (read in full...)
Is 15 years too big a gap for us?
Q. Hi I have been talking to a guy on line who states he is 39 although looks a little older in his picture. I am a 54 year old woman but I do not look my age and have stated that I am 43. I work as Cabin Crew and surrounded by loads of young p...
A. 23 October 2017: Well, YOU obviously believe it is a problem, otherwise why would you have lied about it? Or are you just advertising yourself as 10 years younger on your profile?
To me, the age gap would not be the problem. The fact you had LIED about it would... (read in full...)
How can I boost his sexual interest?
Q. My husband has a low sex drive but mine is extremely high and I'm looking for tips or advice on how to spice up our sex life and things I can do or say to get him excited and turned on. ...
A. 23 October 2017: Is your husband healthy? Does he have a stressful job? Is he often tired. Does he keep himself fit? Does he eat healthily: All these things can have a profound effect on sex drive.
Learn how to give each other a good massage. This will not only... (read in full...)
Why was he was so mad because I answered his phone?
Q. Hi. Last night my bf got so mad at me and left my place at 2 am. He fell asleep on the couch while I was watching a movie, around 130 am I noticed on his phone maybe like 10 phone calls then like 10 messages, his phone is always in silence so he ...
A. 22 October 2017: Could be he is trying to hide something so didn't want someone to know where he was.
Do his friends and family know about you? If not, then that could be why he was angry.
Perhaps he sees your behaviour as "crossing the line" and is angry bec... (read in full...)
Two guys... So whom should I go for?
Q. I have an issue where I'm interested in two guys and I don't know what to do about it. The first guy we met on a night out (he's 21 and I am 18) and there was this instant thing between us, an attraction, but also we got along really well. We've be...
A. 22 October 2017: I really don't get why you are still hung up on guy #1. You have met a sweet guy who treats you well. He is not pressuring you to sleep with him. He is treating you with respect and spending time with you. Why are you not happy with that?
I'll ... (read in full...)
A year after my break up I still haven't been on a date and no one has shown any real interest in me!
Q. I'm 22 and the only relationship I have ever been In lasted 3 years before he came out gay. It was a very complicated break up with a lot of mixed feelings and we would still spend time together and end up sleeping together for around a year ...
A. 21 October 2017: You should free yourself of your ex and put some distance between you so that you can put a real end to your relationship. You have never really split up. Your heart is still with him. Nobody wants to play second fiddle to someone's ex.
Tell ... (read in full...)
He is not being supportive and I am literally broken because of what is happening!
Q. Hi, me and my boyfriend have been going out for 6 months and a few days ago I found out I was pregnant. We both currently live 100 miles apart and only get to see each other once a week. We decided an abortion was the best option for us as it wou...
A. 21 October 2017: I assume he is of a similar age to you? He is dreadfully selfish and immature and self-centred. He was spelled out to you where you stand. Please BELIEVE him.
Do you have anyone else who can go to the appointments with you? A close friend p... (read in full...)
The guy I'm seeing is always getting mad at me?
Q. The guy I'm seeing is always getting mad at me? We have an odd relationship, we say we love each other all the time. He says he's not ready to date (we've been in a like-dating stage for 3 years). I have fallen in love with him. But I feel like I'm ...
A. 21 October 2017: Firstly, THIS IS NOT YOUR FAULT.
Secondly, THIS IS NOT YOUR FAULT.
And lastly, THIS IS NOT YOUR FAULT.
The only thing you have done wrong is to allow this guy to treat you like a doormat, a plan B.
He is using you while offering you ver... (read in full...)
Most of the things he does really gets on my nerves!
Q. I have been going out with a guy for almost a year now, when we first started going out I thought he was really sweet and I really liked him, we see each other every week but now it's been nearly a year I feel like things have changed, he still ...
A. 21 October 2017: You are young. At your age it is unusual for a relationship to last. A year is quite a long time for one at this stage of your life when you are still finding out what you want in a partner.
Your relationship sounds like it has run its course. ... (read in full...)
Given his past, do you think that this man would be a good parent to my daughter?
Q. I recently left an abusive marriage, and have been seeing a man from work for almost a year. He moved in with my kids and I over the summer. He has always been very sweet and caring to all of us, but the relationship isn't perfect, though I love ...
A. 21 October 2017: Difficult one. So many factors involved.
Firstly, few relationships are "perfect". Most people come with some sort of a past, especially with the passing of time. Many people choose to sow their "wild oats" in their youth and, once they reach ma... (read in full...)
She takes more than she gives and I know part of the problem is her low self-esteem!
Q. Hi, when I told my girlfriend that I love her she replied, for the first time, that she does as well, although she doesn't know if it's really love. She justified this with saying that she discussed the matter with her mom and when her mother asked ...
A. 20 October 2017: I would suggest going for quality time together, rather than the quantity you are missing out on at the moment. Plan special things to do when your girlfriend has time to spend with you, then tell her how much you enjoyed whatever it was you did and ... (read in full...)
My boyfriend revealed a secret and my question is how do I deal with what he told me?
Q. My new boyfriend of almost 5 month has been suffering from ptsd i knew this when we first got together , he decided to be open tonight and told me a shocking secret he had kept from me , he admitted he sometimes smokes weed to help him relax and ...
A. 20 October 2017: I totally understand your stand against drugs but you may want to do a bit of your own research into the benefits of cannabis before judging your boyfriend. He is not asking YOU to use it but he finds it beneficial for HIM. After decades of denial, ... (read in full...)
My husband's coworker made some very odd comments and I'm wondering if there is something going on!
Q. Recently on a ride home my husbands coworker needed a ride home. While we were driving his coworker begin to flirt with my husband, He repeatedly said how much he liked my husband, saying my husband was one of a kind. How he had never met anyone ...
A. 19 October 2017: I read your post and could actually visualise it all because I work closely with a gay man who I could imagine joking about like that. I know, however, that he would never take it any further than joking. He does it with males AND females (often ... (read in full...)
Is masturbation gay?
Q. If you are not thinking of anything and just masturbating for pleasure is this homosexual?...
A. 18 October 2017: On what planet? On earth? Definitely not.
I get the impression you are very young. Have your mates said it's "gay" to masturbate and not think of women? ... (read in full...)
This woman is getting close on the train!
Q. I catch the busy train to work in Tokyo everyday and there is this cute younger lady who gets on along the way. I am usually standing near the door anyway but somehow she seems to find her way in front of me so we are hugged and crushed together. We ...
A. 18 October 2017: It does seem more than coincidence that she manages to find her way to standing next to you every time and the physical contact is definitely unusual. Why do you not speak to her? Something along the lines of a smile and "good morning" or "here we ... (read in full...)
Can't seem to say no to sex anymore and actually mean it. What should I do?
Q. Can't seem to say no to sex anymore and actually mean it. What should I do? Hi I'm 18 and I've had sex with two guys, including the one I lost my virginity to. He was a friend and still is, but he occasionally flirts and I respond to it. We hung o...
A. 17 October 2017: You need to tell yourself you are worth better - and mean it.
I would like to set you a challenge. PLEASE take this up at least once so you can see how it feels. Next time some guy wants to have sex with you when you are not 100% sure you want... (read in full...)
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