Can this violent, abusive relationship be saved?
Q. Me and my boyfriend have been together for just over two years now. We have a house together and before we moved in, we had a great time. However when we moved in, he kept throwing parties and his friends would strip naked and jump into our bed, be ...
A. 30 December 2017: I would like to ask YOU a couple of questions first:
- What are you getting out of this relationship?
- Why would you even WANT to save it?
This guy doesn't even have the balls to admit he screwed up. He is in complete denial about do... (read in full...)
Why am I upset that none of my dad's family congratulated me on my wedding?
Q. Hey, This is more a question on advise on how to control my feelings. I'm not particularly close to my dads family, always been excluded from family events (I.e wasn't even invited to my Dads wedding or were my two sisters from his second ...
A. 29 December 2017: It seems to me that you have a rather selfish and hypocritical way of looking at your dad's family. While you expect THEM to invite YOU to events, and are hurt when they don't, YOU didn't invite THEM to what many would see as a very important event, ... (read in full...)
I don’t regret the decision I made to split ways but is there anything I can say to make things right between us as friends?
Q. My boyfriend and I officially parted ways about 6 months ago after 4 years together on and off. I made a judgement call during his visit to see me in Boston from New York this past summer. As much as I loved and cared for him, there were some ...
A. 29 December 2017: Why is it so important to you to stay friends with him? You know why (at least for the time being) HE cannot be friends with YOU - because it would hurt him too much. He doesn't want to be your FRIEND; he wanted to be your husband. Now that THAT is ... (read in full...)
I told my wife the truth and she is furious!
Q. I have been married to my wife for about 11 years now and have 2 kids, a girl aged 8 and a boy aged 4. Recently I was on a night out with friends and were at this bar where we met a few girls and ended up going to their apartment which was nearby. ...
A. 29 December 2017: How do you mend this? Slowly, consistently and patiently.
Can you put yourself in your wife's shoes? Can you even begin to imagine how she feels, having found out her husband, the father of her children, has betrayed her in this way? Her whole wo... (read in full...)
Worried my girlfriend will cheat while out of town on NYE.
Q. My girlfriend of seven years is going to spend New Years Eve with a friend of hers who lives in another state. This is the first NYE we will spend apart since we've gotten together. My girlfriend (and her friend, who has been her best friend ...
A. 28 December 2017: So what are you saying? That every woman who is good looking and personable is a cheat? Just because she CAN pull the men, she WILL?
If the only reason you are worried she will cheat is that she will not be with you, then that is a very sad reas... (read in full...)
I want to ask her to be my girlfriend but something is holding me back
Q. I've recently been dating a lovely girl for the past 2 months but we haven't made it "official" so to speak. We'll call her Sofia. She's 25. We've dined together, slept together, taken pictures together, and text each other virtually every ...
A. 28 December 2017: I think you may have already missed the boat, my friend. If this lady is already drawing back, then she is probably already preparing to leave this relationship. And who can blame her? You've been dating for 2 months and you still can't make up your ... (read in full...)
He's not for me and I don't know how to end things
Q. I started dating a guy just over a month ago, things were very exciting the first couple of weeks, I got the butterflies and could tell he was really nervous when we had our first couple of dates (even though we knew each other about 10 years ago) ...
A. 28 December 2017: I think you summarized nicely and accurately when you said "although he is a fairly nice man, very good looking he is not the one for me". You have already decided that he is not for you so why give him more chances? You know if your heart you will ... (read in full...)
Is she interested? How can I tell and how do I tell her without sounding too full on?
Q. Hi, I hope some of you can offer me some good advice. A colleague of mine left a few months ago and we got on like a house on fire, so I was a little upset when she left for another job. I also was really attracted to her, but not wanting to mix b...
A. 26 December 2017: I see only positive signs in what you write. She would not be readily agreeing to meeting up with you and spending time with you if she didn't like you.
Has she said anything to indicate she only sees you as a friend? If not, then she is probably... (read in full...)
Family troubles have me at my wits end
Q. I’m in a tough spot. Due to some circumstances, I am living with my boyfriend and his siblings in their parents summer home. It was a very good living situation - none of us paid rent and we had a huge house to the four of us while his parent...
A. 26 December 2017: So many things come to mind when I read your post:
#1: This girl obviously has issues. She has problems with alcohol and quite possibly has other mental health issues (as well as being very immature). Try, just for a minute, to put yourself... (read in full...)
I'm low on cash but why are dates so weird with me but good to other girls?
Q. I am underemployed, I am very up front with guys that I am not earning much. I even offer to alternate paying/split early on. However men I date are very funny about my financial situation. An example is a guy who I dated recently who boasted to me ...
A. 26 December 2017: Sounds like you have very set views on who should pay for what. Also that you are more focused on what you can't afford than on enjoying your dates.
Perhaps it would help you to bear in mind that, just as you have to work for YOUR money, your dat... (read in full...)
Having a hard time getting over my ex!
Q. I’m all alone this X-Mas season, thinking about my ex a lot. She’s my first love and since we broke up my life has been a mess. I’m in uni right now but it’ll take me awhile to graduate. My best semester was when we were dating. Now I feel so ...
A. 26 December 2017: Oh sweetheart. First loves are always SO painful. I am so sorry things did not work out.
You need to give yourself time to get over this breakup. By that I mean months, even years. Learn to be alone again. Concentrate on your studies. Learn to... (read in full...)
All he wants is sex, what should I do?
Q. Me and my boyfriend have been together since July and I don’t know him he loves me he says he does but all he wants is sex I love him with all my heart but do I stay or leave should I wait a year ...
A. 25 December 2017: It's interesting that he says he loves you, yet you don't FEEL loved. At the start of a relationship, particularly when the parties are so young, sex usually features heavily. Are you saying that all he is interested in is having sex and doesn't ... (read in full...)
Why me? Why now?
Q. I probably sound pathetic but sometimes things get to me and usually I have no-one to talk to because no1 understands. This week I told my boyfriend I would see him this weekend we both agreed (it fits in with us both). I called him. He answered. I ...
A. 24 December 2017: You don't say what mental health issues he has but, if you are to plan a long term future with him, he needs to get help and treatment so that his issues don't affect your relationship more than necessary.
If you were to have a child and the chil... (read in full...)
Am I a terrible person for wanting an abortion?
Q. I'm 18 in my first year at university. In week one I met this guy and we became friends, and then really close friends, spending a lot of time together and when we weren't together, talking on the phone and texting. As you can imagine, we got ...
A. 24 December 2017: You've learned the painful way what people who use the withdrawal method of "contraception" are called: parents. This is NOT a reliable method of contraception because semen can escape before actual ejaculation. If you didn't like the feel of ... (read in full...)
How do I choose between my two men?
Q. I'm in love with two men one ive known for four years and one ive been with 10 months and I cant choose and its starting to depress me and stress me out having to choose the right one to settle down with, I keep thinking what if I make the wrong ...
A. 24 December 2017: Pick the guy you can't imagine living WITHOUT. If you were to give both up, which one would you miss most?
If you can't answer that, then maybe NEITHER of them is quite right for you. ... (read in full...)
Playing truth or dare .... I didnt like his answer.
Q. I’ve been talking to this boy he’s in the same year as me but in a different school and tonight we were playing truth or dare I asked him what the most he had done with a girl is and he said he wants to take it back but he’s fingered someone.Ohhh ...
A. 23 December 2017: Your gut instinct is telling you that you are not ready for this sort of information exchange. You may feel peer pressure to get involved but, seriously, you have years ahead of you for this.
I remember when my friends and I found out where ba... (read in full...)
My boyfriend regrets telling me about the woman who gets naked!
Q. I have a predicament. I've been dating a really nice man for the past year. However, there is this one friend of his family member who in the past 10 years has removed all her clothing and targeting him lets just say more than once. He swears he has ...
A. 22 December 2017: When you say your boyfriend has never "condoned" her actions, do you mean "condemned"? Is this what is really bugging you?
Your boyfriend is not interested in this woman sexually. However, she is an old family friend, so he does not want to fall ... (read in full...)
Going cold on wedding plans
Q. I'm engaged to be married next August, and although I do not have any doubts over whether it's what I want, or my fiancée feelings either, I'm just not excited about any part of it. Recently we have been seeing friends and family due to Christmas...
A. 20 December 2017: Oh sweetheart. Sending hugs. You sound totally overwhelmed with everything and you need to share this with your husband-to-be. You need to sit him down and tell him EXACTLY how you feel so you can work out together how best to proceed so that you ... (read in full...)
An older man wants me to move in as a live in lover.
Q. hi im kinda thinking about maybe accepting this proposal to be this guys full time sort of live in lover.He was the one who suggested it would make him a kinda suger daddy. He seems very nice (we have met on 3 occasions now and althogh i manage...
A. 20 December 2017: Jackie, sweetheart, please don't rush into anything.
What on earth is a "sort of live in lover"? Do you mean you will live in his home and let him have sex with you in exchange for your bed and board? That sounds like a great deal - for HIM, not... (read in full...)
How do I get started with her?
Q. Little background: I'm a male virgin who's never kissed a girl or been on a date. Total geek, overweight, and not handsome/physically attractive in anyway. Basically no redeeming qualities for the opposite sex. I've long thought about just seein...
A. 19 December 2017: Your self esteem is obviously very low. This is probably what is holding you back, more so than being overweight or a "geek" (what is that even?).
Women are not nearly as turned on visually as men. The majority of women will tell you they lik... (read in full...)
Still mising him two years on
Q. What is making me cling to memories of my ex? He dumped me two years ago. He abruptly ended the relationship (after months of dating he broke up over text) basically I didn’t fit his schedule and needs anymore and he disregarded me. Obviou...
A. 19 December 2017: You are in love with what you believed this man to be, what you hoped he was, not what he turned out to be. You need to keep reminding yourself that you are not in love with HIM but with what you dreamed he would be.
This is the time of year whe... (read in full...)
Did this Married Man forget his former mistress already?
Q. I dated a Married Man (MM) for a year and a half. We both worked at my dad’s office. He got caught by his wife 3 times but never left me. The 3rd time he got caught things got pretty bad. He started going to counseling and distanced himself from me. ...
A. 19 December 2017: Men are much better at compartmentalising their life than are women. I dare say he thinks of you occasionally but I have to assume he has been with his wife a lot longer than he was with you. He chose to cut you out of his life and to go to ... (read in full...)
My sister is toxic and bitter, and she hates me, what do I do about her?
Q. Dear aunts, I have a sister who I love only for the fact that she is my blood, but everything else about her I just can't stand because we have a toxic relationship ever since I was a kid she always told me that I'm ugly, that I'm dumb, that i am ...
A. 19 December 2017: First of all, a big WELL DONE for rising above all the negativity you absorbed when you were a child, from both your sister and your father. You are obviously a very strong young woman and never let anyone make you believe otherwise.
We cannot c... (read in full...)
My ex is living with his partner but confessing to love me. Is he playing games?
Q. I split with my partner two years ago. He gets in contact every few months to say he misses me etc. Not long after we split (he ended the relationship) he met someone else. He’s confessed it was a rebound. Last month he told me that I’m the only ...
A. 18 December 2017: Basically his new relationship has come to the end of its honeymoon stage and settled down into normal mundane everyday life. It is no longer exciting enough to keep his full attention, just as his relationship with you wasn't a couple of years ago. ... (read in full...)
Signs he is a compulsive liar? what the heck is that attitude after breakup?
Q. Hey everyone, So I broke up with my bf about 1 month and a half ago. I am 22, he is 25. We had been together for 1 year and a half. We met as international students (in Australia, I was exchange student and he was studying engineering ther...
A. 18 December 2017: Sometimes we have to settle for NOT understanding a situation and accept that there is no acceptable explanation. After all the crazy lies, surely you must realize you are much better off without him?
Stop trying to contact him. There is NO emerg... (read in full...)
Three men and I can't date them all. Who would you pick?
Q. I appreciate your help in advance. I don’t know what to do with these three men in my life. I’m 40 years old divorced with one child. My ex husband who is trying to take me back and hasn’t moved on 3 years after our divorce. I know the first guy who ...
A. 18 December 2017: Well, first of all you have to decide whether there is any future with your ex husband. If not, you need to make that very clear to him so he is not holding out hope and "muddying the waters".
Secondly, why do you not go out on a couple of dates... (read in full...)
Her kids and mine are cousins, is it okay to date?
Q. So I have started to date or have been with and seen, my ex wife’s brothers ex wife I have a son with my ex and she has two kids with her ex who is my ex wife’s brother. Our kids are cousins but we both want no more kids. We both feel this could be ...
A. 17 December 2017: There is no blood connection between you and your ex wife's brother's ex wife (unless she is a member of YOUR family) so there is absolutely no reason why you should not date.
One of our circle of friends is currently in the exact same position... (read in full...)
Is my boyfriend too sexually demanding?
Q. I’ve been with my boyfriend around half a year. He has really bad anger issues which he has been trying to control but he still has his outbursts. One of the things that triggers these outbursts is when I don’t give him head when he wants it. ...
A. 17 December 2017: I deserve better.
I deserve better.
I deserve better.
Sweetheart, you need to KEEP TELLING YOURSELF THAT and ACT on it.
You are already in an abusive relationship. Trust me when I tell you things will only escalate. You've only been ... (read in full...)
How do I act with this coworker?
Q. How do I act with my coworker- a little background -when I started working for this law firm I noticed that me and one of the senior lawyer were attracted to each other BUT he is married. Although I would never push the envelope I do notice he might ...
A. 16 December 2017: I would imagine your co-workers are gossiping about you because they only ever see you talking to this one guy, put 2 and 2 together, and come up with their own total. This is just cliche office environment. Also, you don't know what he has been ... (read in full...)
Is there a chance my crush likes me back?
Q. There is a guy nice guy at my church and I liked him the monent I saw him but he had a girlfriend and I back off which was a year ago and forgot about him. Me and him are in the same weekly church group but never really talked much Recently I had...
A. 16 December 2017: Trust your gut feeling. You suspect he hardly notices your existence and you are probably right.
You need to step out of your comfort zone and actually interact a bit with him. Make him notice you. Smile. Speak to him. It doesn't take much to ... (read in full...)
My wife wants an open relationship, I don't
Q. My wife insists on a open relationship for her but not for me. I am very resentful about this but she says its this or nothing. I love her but I am going nuts....
A. 16 December 2017: I am so sorry. You may love her, but she obviously does not love you enough to stay faithful. She obviously cares more about screwing around than about your marriage.
It takes two to make a relationship work and she is not on board here. Much as ... (read in full...)
He wants me to change, I want him to love me as I am.
Q. I'm feeling kind of hopeless in the relationship I'm in. We'e been together nearly 10 months, age gap between us is 15 years. We get a long great, there is so much chemistry. We love each other very much. There is however an issue that we find ...
A. 13 December 2017: You are who you are. He is who he is. Neither of you is necessarily "right" or "wrong". You are just very different and looking for very different things in a partner.
Can you see yourself with this man years down the line, arguing all the time... (read in full...)
Do I owe her an apology?
Q. Dear cupid, Guys I've done something stupid and I don't know how to make it up. I feel like I am a dirt bag for this but I feel like I was being taken advantage of and I lashed out. See I've kind of sort of been seeing this girl for the past 7 m...
A. 12 December 2017: Sweetheart, people are NEVER "too busy" to reply to a text for days on end. It is just a case of priorities - and YOU are way down HER list of priorities.
You do NOT owe her an apology. You owe her NOTHING - which is exactly what she has been giv... (read in full...)
How do I control something that is so compulsive in my nature?
Q. I dunno if this is the right place to ask this question but here goes... I'm a motorcyclist and I'm impulsive and crave the thrill of speed.I had another accident today... This must be my fifth and it looks like I have completely torn my rotator ...
A. 10 December 2017: Can you channel your need for speed towards something else? Perhaps another sport? Even a sport involving motorbikes?
Public highways are not the place for indulging your need. You already know what can happen. Next time you might not walk awa... (read in full...)
Will he always cheat on me?
Q. Hi, so my boyfriend and I have been together for two years now and a month ago I caught him talking to other girls on snapchat and receiving nudes. I pulled him up on it and was going to leave him however gave him a second chance. A few days ago...
A. 10 December 2017: I have a question for YOU: do you want to spend the next few years of your life (however long your relationship with this guy lasts, in whatever format it might take), wondering what he is up to and feeling insecure? You already know what he does. ... (read in full...)
I'm having some trouble with my crushes
Q. I'm having a lot of trouble with my crushes. Do you have any advice on what I should do? How should I deal with this? I'm dealing with a lot right now and I want to resolve all my crush problems first. Basically, around a year ago I started li...
A. 10 December 2017: Crushes are a sort of "trial run" or - in theatrical terms - "dress rehearsal" for the real thing. You are starting to look at certain individuals and find them attractive. This is totally normal.
What you have to understand is that not everyone... (read in full...)
A practical joke gone horribly wrong
Q. My friend Bailey and I played a joke on our friend Eve just to embarrass her and teach her a lesson but Bailey took it too far and now Eve got suspended and her parents punished her real bad. She's not aloud to talk to us or anyone or go anywhere ...
A. 10 December 2017: What a strange story. Eve got blamed for this? On what planet? Surely it was obvious this was not her disgusting work? I am not sure I actually believe your story. Are you a troll?
Let's give you the benefit of the doubt and assume what you are ... (read in full...)
I need help to control his binge drinking
Q. I need some advice. My husband has a problem with binge drinking. He can't stop at a couple and will just keep on drinking to he passes out. We don't really drink at home so it's only a problem if he goes out for drinks with friends. He normally ...
A. 9 December 2017: Sadly you can't force him to do anything. You can't force him not to go to the party. You can't force him not to drink to excess. You can't force him to get help for his problem.
How long are you prepared to stay and watch him do this - to himse... (read in full...)
Troubled and confused by girlfriend and her kitten
Q. Dear all This problem is a bit strange and you may think I am weird, however this is just the way I am. I am in a long distance relationship with a girl I love very much. We have plans to be together soon. Recently she out of the blue to...
A. 9 December 2017: You sound like a lovely caring young man. However, if your girlfriend is all stressed out just because the kitten woke her once, then is sounds like her mother was correct about her not being capable of looking after an animal. Any pet is a ... (read in full...)
I'm unhappily married but in love with a man who's engaged but hesitant to leave his fiance
Q. Please could I ask for some advice on my situation... I have been married for 3 years but for the last year the marriage has been very difficult and we both feel that we have grown too far apart to fix things, although haven’t yet said we will div...
A. 8 December 2017: For a start off, I think you need to sort out your marriage. Either you choose to stay together, or you split up and divorce. If you are both sure the marriage has run its course, then you need to end it quickly and cleanly and free yourselves to ... (read in full...)
I’m worried commitment means forfeiting sexual fulfillment, any advice?
Q. I’m in my mid-twenties and have been in a loving relationship six years, but I’m frustrated by my attraction to others. Whilst my partner has a colourful sexual history, I’ve only ever been with them and I feel by staying, I’m losing opportunities ...
A. 8 December 2017: The excitement of new sex soon wears off. Every long-term relationship settles down in terms of the amount of sex you have.
Women need to feel loved to want sex, while men need sex to feel loved. If your partner is female (I notice you delibera... (read in full...)
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