A mutual friend has boundary problems
Q. I have this problem with a friend of mine (we are both gay men). He is very close to my best friend. This friend, who can sometimes be great and at other times be utterly creepy. He can be the kindest, most helpful person and in a whim switch to a ...
A. 23 April 2018: I am not surprised he doesn't have any other friends if that is how he treats them. I mean, how old is this guy? He sounds very immature, whatever age he is.
In your shoes I would be tempted to be as rude as this silly man is. If he touched ... (read in full...)
My friend is upset none of us can afford to go to his wedding
Q. An old friend who moved from Berlin where I live to San Diego is getting married. 5 years ago we were great friends and housemates. As time went on, I recognized we are very different and have different value systems. His dream is to find a partner ...
A. 23 April 2018: It appears this friend likes to call the shots and have things all his own way. No wonder he is "disappointed" when everyone doesn't come running to his whistle.
No, you are not being selfish. You know what your reasons are so stick to your gun... (read in full...)
I muust have a "hate me" sign above my head.
Q. I’m unlikeable it seems, people don’t “take” to me land aren’t friendly. I feel like giving up on people. I Try to be nice and get ignored, uninvited, dismissed and forgotten. Please, how can I be more likeable? I listen, I smile and...
A. 23 April 2018: I do understand what you mean. I'm not sure whether people in general are just becoming more self centred or whether this is something you notice more as you mature, or whether it just BOTHERS you more as you get older because you expect to be ... (read in full...)
What should a person do .....
Q. What should a person do if they are falling for someone, and that person tells them they have a certain type a woman they like, and it's not you, and they don't have time but maybe one day a week, they are to busy to see you more then that, you live ...
A. 23 April 2018: What should a person do?
A person should take a good look at themselves and ask themselves if they are so desperate for male attention that they will settle for the few crumbs this man throws them, in rather bad grace.
They should ask thems... (read in full...)
Friends of 25 years don’t include me anymore!
Q. At the moment im trying to clear debt i have so have to stop spending where i dont need to. I messaged my 4 closest friends saying id have to cut back on nights out round pubs as i cant afford to waste money. Having each other round at each others ...
A. 22 April 2018: Did you actually phrase it like that when you told them you couldn't go out drinking with them any more, i.e. "I can't afford to WASTE money"? If so, is it possible they took exception to that and saw it as you meaning THEY were not worth the money? ... (read in full...)
Am I meant to tell him to break up with her?
Q. I'm currently talking to this lad who seems to be interested in me. It would be fine but he has a girlfriend, who I asked about recently. He never seems too happy to see her, says they're distant,she doesn't speak to him much and she has cheated on ...
A. 22 April 2018: Don't be anyone else's hit man. EVER. Don't let others make bullets for YOU to fire.
Let him do his own dirty work. If he hasn't got the balls to make the decision to finish with his girlfriend, don't be the one to make that decision for him beca... (read in full...)
How often should a healthy couple have sex?
Q. How often should a healthy couple have sex? I know this is a subjective question and every couple is different. I ask because my partner (32m) and I (32f) have been having issues around this lately. My natural rhythm dictates about 2-4 times ...
A. 22 April 2018: Generally men and women view sex very differently. Men need sex to feel loved, while women need to feel loved to want sex. He knows it is irrational but, to him, when you reject sex, you reject HIM. His pouting and sulking then makes you feel even ... (read in full...)
I'm obsessed with my professor and it's making me depressed
Q. I have a massive crush on my professor. I assure you it's completely platonic but it's still causing me much trouble. I think there are 2 main aspects to my feelings for him: 1. Admiration: He's the exact kind of person I want to be when I grow o...
A. 21 April 2018: Crushing at your age is completely natural. This will pass, trust me. It is a USEFUL emotion because you can learn, without any risk, what you are looking for in a future partner. List the qualities you like about this man (there are obviously quite ... (read in full...)
Why doesn't my heart race when I kiss my boyfriend?
Q. So I'm in a bit of a dilemma. I have dated 3 guys (and have kissed all of the ) and the guy I am with at the moment is my first love, we have kissed many times but my heart doesn't race like his does. The first guy I dated took my first kiss, and I ...
A. 21 April 2018: Because you have had 3 previous boyfriends? Because you feel "safe" with him? Because love is not all about racing hearts and stomach butterflies?
Do yo find him sexually attractive? Do you truly love him? Then stop focusing on something which is... (read in full...)
Did she sell the phone I gave her? I regret how our interactions ended!
Q. I am an Expatriate aged 39 and good looking working in a rather 3rd world country with good financial. I met a girl in a family friendly bar. After few visits at the bar, i took a liking to her as she was unlike the rest that goes around flirting ...
A. 21 April 2018: Sorry, but it sounds to me like her cousin & colleagues are almost pimping this girl out. They should not be getting involved in any relationship you two may or may not have. They should certainly not be embarrassing her or pushing her into ... (read in full...)
I'm wondering how some females can manage not being jealous and I'm wondering how some guys don't see how this affects their partners?
Q. I'm single, so this isn't something I'm writing out of emotion, but something I have pondered in the past. I came across a lot of articles online lately about what guys like and dislike in relationships and it seems as though a lot of guys mentioned ...
A. 21 April 2018: This is a classic case of being unable to control what is happening around you but recognizing that your strength lies in how you react to it.
I have never been able to understand how someone can be jealous of an image on a screen. I mean, it... (read in full...)
Is he oblivious or selfish?
Q. Hello agony aunts and uncles It’s never a good sign when I appeal to the internet but here goes. I fell crazy in love with someone but he had a lot of financial issues. I still dated him and loaned him money which he did repay me for. Now that he’...
A. 21 April 2018: Many thoughts on this one.
Why do you treat him like a child? You are effectively taking on the roll of his mother in this relationship. You take care of all his needs, even down to career advice, loaning him money when he needs it and subsidiz... (read in full...)
He phased me out but got angry when I moved on.
Q. Hey :-) im sorry that this is such a long one guys. About 6 months ago I started casually dating this guy who I had known for a while. It started because he pursued and chased me and I started to like him back. He told me how he thought of me 24...
A. 20 April 2018: Should you text him? No! No! NO! And here is why:
You say "he asked me not do anything with other guys (we weren't exclusive but he didn't want me to go with anyone else). Technically, you WERE exclusive. That is what exclusive means - you don'... (read in full...)
He said he loved me but then he dumped me out of the blue! Do I just walk away and forget it all?
Q. Hi Everyone I have a really big dilemma and don’t know what to do. Long story short. I was seeing this guy for a little over 2 months. Things were going amazing, we got along well, we wanted the same things out of life, we had many of the same ...
A. 20 April 2018: If you really want to wait a while for him to sort himself out (which I can understand as you thought you had found something special with him), then you need to set yourself a time limit, otherwise you could be in the same position months and even ... (read in full...)
A guy I was seeing went quiet on me, he says he is following legal advise.
Q. Im just wondering what are peoples thoughts. I was seeing a guy who went quiet on me we had been seeing each other for 6 month. i heard from him a handful of times in 2 month and didnt get to see him . I didnt sit about waiting for him i got on with ...
A. 19 April 2018: Sorry, I have to say I did find myself tutting and mentally rolling my eyes at your dramatic "I am gone forever" comments. I mean, really? I tend to read posts and see if I can guess the op's age from them. I guessed you to be in your teens, with ... (read in full...)
I have an ex that wont let go.
Q. Me and my ex girlfriend split up 4, maybe even closer to 5 years ago. In the end, she got quite nasty and I ended up blocking her on Facebook. Fast forward a few years and I get a message request from a previously deactivated account of hers,...
A. 19 April 2018: I have to ask, why have you not blocked her yet? I believe you can change the privacy settings on your Facebook account so that only your friends can see your account.
You are obviously still traumatised by what she did to you. Did you get help... (read in full...)
Should I be thankful for the little I've got?
Q. Yes, mod, I’m 17. The only person I can talk to about my depression and anxiety is my boyfriend but I’m stuck in a polygamous relationship with him and his girlfriend. However, I love him and I’m getting tired of sharing him. I just want his body ...
A. 18 April 2018: "All my life there’s been someone better than me that I get dumped for."
That is the sentence, out of all you have posted, that speaks volumes to me. You do realize that YOU can break this pattern of being dumped for someone "better" by realisin... (read in full...)
My boyfriend can't stay hard!
Q. My boyfriend can't stay hard. The first time me and my boyfriend got intimate physically he avoided intercourse and satisfied me in other ways. However, after multiply attempts to have intercourse he eventually told me that he has a problem doing it...
A. 18 April 2018: As others have said, his No 1 port of call should be his doctor. Is he overweight? Could he have diabetes? Is he on any medication? Does he drink or smoke heavily? All these things can affect his ability to get and keep an erection.
Once all medi... (read in full...)
Is it possible that his feelings toward her changed to a sister-like situation?
Q. I am now in the 2nd year of long-distance-relationship with my 60-year-old partner with the same experience of having relationship or marriage in the past before we met each other in office. Certainly we adore each other and always try our best to ...
A. 18 April 2018: Yes, feelings CAN (and often do) change for someone (otherwise couples would never split up). I have often heard people say "We live more like brother and sister than husband and wife" of a long term relationship which is not going well. It simply ... (read in full...)
Why is she so attention seeking??
Q. Yesterday a 44 yr old female work colleague with 5 kids had her wisdom teeth out,she posted a post surgery selfie of her swollen face on our works fbook page, Is this pure attention seeking? She’s a quiet and good worker, invisible.. like...
A. 17 April 2018: First of all, big hugs (whether you want them or not - lol!). I do hope your MRI doesn't show up anything sinister and that there is a simple explanation for your recent health issues.
I do completely get where you are coming from about people p... (read in full...)
My hsband left me for another woman but wont considera divorce.
Q. My husband left me with other woman his (mistress) it's been 2 weeks now since he left. I'm 37 yr old My husband is 54 and his mistress is 45 year old she's older than me . I want to divorce him coz I don't trust him no more . But my husband ...
A. 17 April 2018: He's hedging his bets. If it doesn't work out with the mistress, he is hoping to come back.
As the others have said, get legal advice as quickly as possible to protect your position and to get a divorce if you want one. ... (read in full...)
I'm dating a 48 year old man who lives in utter filth and doesn't know what he wants from life
Q. I've Been seeing a 48 year old man for about 5 weeks now. He is not physically attractive in anyway. I looked past all this because I am actually pursuing a serious relationship and my criteria isn't based on looks. It would help but doesn't matter. ...
A. 16 April 2018: "Anonymous 123" beat me to it and said everything I was thinking as I read your post.
This man is what he is. I suspect the fact he has an expensive house (I am guessing, as he has a pool - filthy or otherwise) is why you are even botherin... (read in full...)
Should I sue my ex?
Q. I broke up with my boyfriend 2 weeks ago, It was not a nice relationship at all . We have been together for 2 years, he cheated on me twice, he stole money from me, he used my bank card several times without telling me, and the list goes on and on, ...
A. 16 April 2018: I am not familiar with the law in Portugal but I am pretty sure you are not the first (or last) person this has happened to and that there must be a way round this. Unscrupulous ex partners (business or otherwise) "disappear" all the time so there ... (read in full...)
I'm still sexually attached to the guy that my ex pretended to be. How can I get over this?
Q. Thank you for reading this. About 10 years ago, I broke up with this guy after a few months when I realized he was abusive. I felt betrayed because we had supposedly been childhood friends. I broke all ties with him. Like most abusers, at first he ...
A. 16 April 2018: Keep reminding yourself that what you are attracted to is what you BELIEVED him to be, not what he actually turned out to be. The man towards whom you feel this attraction is a figment of your imagination. He does not actually exist. ... (read in full...)
Everything I do my friend copies.
Q. So ive had the same best friend for atleast ten years, we have had our ups and downs but anything that would end a friendship.. But my peoblem is, lately, shes been doing everything EXACTLY like me.. Like let me explain, if i say im changing...
A. 14 April 2018: While imitation is the sincerest form of flattery, I can understand why this would be annoying.
I suspect she lacks the self confidence to make her own choices and her own decisions. Do you (perhaps?) criticise her for choices she makes? Or does ... (read in full...)
I'm having an affair wih my fiance's best friend.
Q. I’m engaged due to be married September, I’ve started having an affair with one of his best friends. Now I don’t know whether I love his best friend. He’s asked me to not get married. My fiancé is a good man great father and stable. His frien...
A. 12 April 2018: Wow! The best thing you can say about your future husband is that he is "stable"? Call off the wedding. That man deserves so much better.
You and the so called "friend" deserve each other. ... (read in full...)
My religion is getting in the way of love
Q. Im in a very tough situation. I came from an Arabic-muslim family, and when i was 18 i moved to Britain in order to study university there. In my first year in university, i met this guy (let's call him X), we became very close friends, we became ...
A. 11 April 2018: Have you discussed your religious differences with your boyfriend? Have you agreed on how any future children would be raised, i.e. in which religion? While I personally have no time for division caused by religion, I can understand each set of ... (read in full...)
Does anyone have an experience with a successful meet up with online friends/lovers?
Q. I've met this guy half year ago, I'm from the US and he's from Sweden. i was only on an educational site, and i was really into chatting with people who likes to talk about literature etc.. Until i came across this guy. We talked alot at first via ...
A. 10 April 2018: Whether you're "delusional" or not is a matter of opinion. To YOU these feelings are very real and I strongly suspect that whatever advice you receive will not change them. Why would it?
You are at an age when emotions are VERY strong. As you get ... (read in full...)
I want a sexual relationship with my professor. Should I pursue it?
Q. I am in love with my professor and want to take thing to a sexual relationship. I need advise on how to keep it a secret. We flirt all the time we even exchanged pictures. Should I pursue this at all? ...
A. 10 April 2018: If you need to keep it a secret, then you should know it is wrong. If you didn't have serious doubts about this relationship, would you be asking the question on this site?
You are not "in love". You are infatuated. You are in lust. Never un... (read in full...)
I'm fed up with boyfriend and his gifts/loans
Q. I am disabled and live on benefits,last October my boyfriend of 10 years offered money for my car repairs I said I would not be able to repay but he insisted,then a few months later there was another repair needed and he said it looked like he would ...
A. 10 April 2018: As I see it, you have 3 choices:
1. Leave things as they are, accept his money and just refuse to rise to his moaning. Make a joke out of it, something along the lines of "but I'm worth it" and change the subject. He can only make you feel gui... (read in full...)
How long before I can tell her I love her?
Q. I’m in my 40’s and I’ve been seeing my new girlfriend for about 2 months. It’s going well so far and I have really fallen for her. I’m going through all the usual feelings of missing her / wanting to be with her / wanting to message her / thinking...
A. 8 April 2018: It looks like your post got cut short but, ironically, I was going to say that, for any sensible woman, actions will speak louder than words. SHOW her you care for her. Be kind, be considerate, make time for her, listen to her, cuddle her. Make it ... (read in full...)
I would tell her I love her but don't want to risk our friendship.
Q. Hello readers, I am ashamed and embarrassed to admit that I am in love with a married woman. I am a 33 year old man, I am mostly sensible and don't want things I can't have. I live with my girlfriend of 10 years. She's everything I shoul...
A. 8 April 2018: Perhaps you should ask your girlfriend this question? Or your married woman's husband? Or, better still, the children? After all, if you DO tell her you love her and this eventually leads to something between you, all these other people are going to ... (read in full...)
My ex has said he would never marry me, but I want him back!
Q. Does my ex still have feelings for me or not?. I dated him for a year and a half from 2015 until 2017. Then I left him for another man that we both know, who I was in a relationship with for nearly a year ( he broke up with me three months ago). My ...
A. 8 April 2018: Getting dumped by someone we care about is hurtful enough, but to be dumped in favour of someone else you know is even more hurtful. Your ex was, totally unsurprisingly, very hurt by your actions. He is obviously STILL hurt. He may NEVER get over ... (read in full...)
Did my boyfriend’s dad just sexually harrass me!? I’m crying
Q. My boyfriends dad just sexually harrased me?! I feel so embarrased to even write this! Please help I am in shock I live with my boyfriends parents and something happened I was eating late meal in the kitchen and he came in, we were having a ...
A. 7 April 2018: You have to actually be brave and TELL this creep, in no uncertain terms, that his behaviour is out of order. It is no good keeping quiet and hoping he senses your discomfort and disgust because, quite evidently, he chooses not to.
Do you have... (read in full...)
Was my husband lying about not loving the other woman?
Q. is my husband lying to me when he says he never loved the other woman? I found messages and video with him telling her he loves her...
A. 4 April 2018: Would it make it easier or harder for you if he did love her? I ask because you sound like you want/need to believe he didn't really love her but, if I were in your shoes, I would be MORE concerned if he risked his marriage to you for someone he ... (read in full...)
My husband is disappointed because I didn't tell him about a job interview
Q. Hi guys I feel really terrible about lying to my husband about a recent job interview I had. Two weeks ago I applied for a job (he knew I had been looking) and got called for the interview and thankfully got it. However I didn't tell my husband ...
A. 4 April 2018: Seriously? Does he make such a big deal about everything?
You have explained and apologized. Enough now. If he chooses to continue making a big deal out of this and being upset, that is HIS choice. Tell him YOU are disappointed in HIM for spoi... (read in full...)
His neediness bothers me. Should I feel guilty for blocking him?
Q. Okay so I've only known this guy for 2 months only, he is at my university. He seemed nice at first and we hang out together, but then he started to creep me out with his neediness and him being too clingy. I was nice with him and i gave him hints ...
A. 2 April 2018: You feel the way you feel. There is no right or wrong about it. As for feeling guilty, what is the point? Guilt is a completely useless and draining emotion.
He obviously does not take hints (some people don't) so, if he keeps appearing and inva... (read in full...)
Does he ask about my sex life out of curiosity or is he into me?
Q. I have this guy friend who I have been friends with a couple of years. Throughout our friendship, we’ve flirted here and there but nothing more. However, he always, without fail will ask about my dating life. I’ve dating a few guys but nothing ...
A. 2 April 2018: You know this guy relatively well and you don't know the answer to your question, yet you expect total strangers to give you an answer?
I am guessing you are wanting us to say "yes, he is into you". Is this for an ego boost or because you actually... (read in full...)
I've found the love of my life in a chatroom in Poland and I'm planning to move there to be with her
Q. Last time I post on here, I had visited an escort. I had visit an escort only once and never again. I decided to get back into dating, but I had no success. One day I joined a chatroom and I happen to meet a Polish woman who lives in Poland over a ...
A. 2 April 2018: Sweetheart, catch on to yourself. You are old enough (and, we assume, mature enough) to know this is not love. I know you are keen to have someone to love and to love you back (some might say a bit desperate) but you two don't know each other. You ... (read in full...)
I don't want to nag but my boyfriend never texts me first!
Q. Hey all! So my boyfriend and I just got together officially. I noticed in the first month that we talked quite a bit and he initiated the conversation a lot of the time, and he would always call me in the evenings before bed. When we got into the ...
A. 2 April 2018: "Other than texting, I have no issues with him. He’s a great boyfriend"
So, he's not "perfect" in your eyes because he doesn't check in with you during the day when he is doing other stuff.
My advice, for what it's worth:
1. Be grateful ... (read in full...)
How do I handle dates where I don't want more?
Q. Often when I go on dates with guys, it becomes apparent to me quite quickly if I'm interested or not. I'm always respectful and kind on dates. But I have a very flirtatious smile, so often if I smile too much, I notice guys are responsive and want ...
A. 1 April 2018: @TylerSage: This post is from a MALE. ... (read in full...)
How do I handle dates where I don't want more?
Q. Often when I go on dates with guys, it becomes apparent to me quite quickly if I'm interested or not. I'm always respectful and kind on dates. But I have a very flirtatious smile, so often if I smile too much, I notice guys are responsive and want ...
A. 1 April 2018: Perhaps make the first couple of dates short lunch time coffee dates so you can get away easily? You could always arrange for a friend or colleague to phone you part way through with a "work emergency" which would give you the excuse to leave even ... (read in full...)
| *oucannotbeserious's friends
These are mutual friends, so *oucannotbeserious has
added them and they have added *oucannotbeserious!
|
