My ex said some things, now I feel so low and worthless.
Q. I am feeling low and hurt. I split from my boyfriend around 5 months ago and got odd texts from him now and then. Anyway started to accept it was over and to start building my life again when put the blue my ex text me to say he was really ill and ...
A. 3 June 2018: It always makes me snigger and roll my eyes when someone slates an ex partner's appearance in this way. They are seldom, if ever, anything to write home about themselves. I bet HE is no Brad Pitt, is he? And if he found you so unattractive, why did ... (read in full...)
Am I rushing things, I've never had a long distance relationship before.
Q. So I’m in an unfamiliar dating situation and looking for advice (apologies for the long story below!) Back in January, I matched with a guy on a dating app. He was from my hometown and we had mutual friends, but we’d never come across each othe...
A. 2 June 2018: I think you need to chill about this guy and stop putting all your eggs in this one basket. You like him, he likes you. Great. However . . . . there is the distance, the fact you have only met once, the fact he fills up his time with activities with ... (read in full...)
Is it really a big deal that I didn't call?
Q. I’ve been dating this guy (no official relationship) for a few months. We were old friends who got really close and started a romance. He did the chasing and I finally caught feelings after a while. We would hang out all the time. He would call me ...
A. 2 June 2018: You basically have TWO children on your hands: your son and your boyfriend. He sounds petulant and sulks if you do not read his thoughts and predict what he wants. HE suggested no contact while you were away but then threw a paddy, despite you ... (read in full...)
My sister and my boyfriend lied about having sex while we were courting.
Q. So my sister was having some marital problems and she met this guy who she confided in and he gave her some advice well atleast that's what she told me. I was single for approximately for years. She introduced this guy to me after some months and ...
A. 2 June 2018: I get the impression you are not that keen on this guy. It seems you only went out with him because your sister talked you into it.
If this is the case, I would keep walking and not look back. The whole situation is too close to home and likely, ... (read in full...)
Do I keep believing him after his string of lies?
Q. Long story short, over the past month, my husband has been caught in a string of lies. First lie is when he told me he called his buddy but later found out he called a female coworker to congratulate her for this cover she got for a magazine. Odd ...
A. 2 June 2018: You have a gut instinct to protect you. Listen to yours. You KNOW things are not right. You also KNOW he is gaslighting you as a form of defence. You sound like a strong intelligent woman. Don't fall for him trying to make out YOU are the problem. ... (read in full...)
His daughter and I are close in age she hates me, but I love her father so much help!
Q. I'm 24, my boyfriend is 42 and we met 9 months ago on a cliff while he was on holidays in my country. At the time he was talking to his buddies about how amazing the scenery was and we locked eyes for the first time and smiled at each other. ...
A. 1 June 2018: I can't help wondering if you honestly expected his daughter to welcome you with the same enthusiasm as her father did? He may (or may not) be as wonderful as you think he is, but he is showing a cruel lack of empathy towards his children, ... (read in full...)
His daughter and I are close in age she hates me, but I love her father so much help!
Q. I'm 24, my boyfriend is 42 and we met 9 months ago on a cliff while he was on holidays in my country. At the time he was talking to his buddies about how amazing the scenery was and we locked eyes for the first time and smiled at each other. ...
A. 1 June 2018: I can't help wondering if you honestly expected his daughter to welcome you with the same enthusiasm as her father did? He may (or may not) be as wonderful as you think he is, but he is showing a cruel lack of empathy towards his children, ... (read in full...)
Can someone explain why I’m scared of this new relationship?
Q. I'm very confused with my behavior as of late and wish I could understand the underlying psychology here. I dated someone who was good to me for the first 3 weeks and then it was a like switch flipped. He stopped caring and pursuing me and ...
A. 1 June 2018: I would suspect you are scared of the unknown, or scared that this new guy will suddenly "flick a switch" and become like your ex did.
Stay away from your ex. You know he is no good for you. You are chasing something you can't have and don't re... (read in full...)
Do I continue in this relationship despite our differences?
Q. Hello Everyone, I really hope you can help. Little background; I have a little boy whose two in July. His Dad and I separated when I was 16 weeks pregnant, we'd tried over a year to have our Son, engaged, had been in our 'forever home' a little ...
A. 1 June 2018: When he is with you, he is nervous . . . of what exactly?
My gut feeling on this one is that, if he is already "blowing up" at you over something like buying him clothes from the "wrong" shops, then this will only get worse the more time you spen... (read in full...)
I’m sexually frustrated in my married! Advice?
Q. hey id like to clear my thoughts and get an opinion. here goes, right ive been in a relationship for 14 years and we have 4 kids together. i no im probably going to get told i shouldnt read whats on the internet but its there and what i read is ...
A. 31 May 2018: Is that your idea of foreplay? Asking her "are you up for it?" I mean, really?
Have you tried courting her? Running her a bath so she feels sexy and like a lover again instead of just a mother and provider?
You did make me laugh when you s... (read in full...)
Would I be a complete cow if I don't help my ex boyfriend with his drug problems?
Q. My close friend has recently let me know that my ex boyfriend is going wild with drugs and alcohol and that he is worried about him. When I was with this boyfriend, I managed to convince him to only do drugs every so often and just weed, nothing ...
A. 31 May 2018: We have a gut instinct for good reason. TRUST YOURS.
He is not your responsibility. He is an adult and is CHOOSING to take drugs. Leave him to do what he wants and try to stay as far away as possible (even if it means only meeting your friend a... (read in full...)
I’ve made an ultimatum for my cheating husband. Is it reasonable?
Q. Hello Cupids, Short question. My husband, who I have been with for 13 years, compulsively cheats on me. Last time, I kicked him out and begged him to get therapy, which he said he would. He didn’t, but kept telling me he planned to. Things got b...
A. 31 May 2018: I didn't even bother reading down the list because it seems completely pointless.
You keep giving your husband ultimatums you don't stand by. What is the point? He KNOWS you will take him back, regardless of how he behaves. It is all hot air on y... (read in full...)
My boyfriend's ex wants to meet him for coffee!
Q. My boyfriend asked me if I would be okay if he met his ex for coffee. His ex reached out to him wanting to catch up while she is in town for some official business. My boyfriend's ex ended their relationship a year ago and is currently seeing ...
A. 30 May 2018: You sound like a very caring and trusting person. I hope he is worthy of you. If it turns out he is not, then that will be HIS loss.
... (read in full...)
My sister’s husband is my ex from high school and he is rude to my boyfriend! And my boyfriend is frustrated by this and that he has to deal with an ex of mine!
Q. Hello my sister is now married to my ex boyfriend. We broke up in our early 20s. I'm not trying to make myself out to be God's gift to men but he was fixated on me since high school. Flash forward to 2008 and they get married. My sister has isolated ...
A. 30 May 2018: You are not going to like my reply, but I do hope you read it and consider that there may be at least some elements of truth in it.
You see, to me, your boyfriend is being every bit as much of a jerk as your sister's husband. I mean "it's al... (read in full...)
Should I tell him I know he's been texting his ex?
Q. I have been kind of talking to this guy and hooking up with him for a few weeks now, and one night we were sitting at this bar and his ex girlfriend walks by and I noticed he was staring at her for a bit. Now I only know it’s his ex girlfrie...
A. 28 May 2018: What is your relationship with this man exactly? Just "kind of talking" and "hooking up" doesn't make it sound like it is anything serious, or even a relationship at all. Have you actually discussed and agreed a way forward for the two of you? When ... (read in full...)
Should I remain single or take a chance on this guy?
Q. Hi. I'm a single mum, 36 years old, I've been single for about 6.5 years. I've dated in that time but last date was over 2/3 years ago. I'm considering staying single forever, I'm not good at relationships and I don't like who I become. But I st...
A. 28 May 2018: So you appear to know where it's all going wrong but you don't mention if you have done anything to change that. I am guessing you become insecure and jealous when in a relationship. Is this all down to your insecurity or is it that you also ... (read in full...)
Why am I never a man’s first choice?
Q. Hi good people, I’m feeling a bit down today and was hoping you might be able to offer me some advice or even just words of comfort. I’m 32 (33 in July) and I’ve been single for 3 years now. My previous long-term relationship was rocky and I’m de...
A. 28 May 2018: I think you hit the nail on the head when you asked if this was all part of the "frog kissing" process. Dating is all about "trying before you buy". It carries on and carries on until you meet ONE person who is right for you. For some, finding that ... (read in full...)
Should I lie and say the baby is his?
Q. Ive made a mess but now ive got to grow up and sort it out. Me and my 'ex'boyfriend had a break , we didnt say what each other can or cant do and if we were going to get back together. I had a feeling he was seeing someone else but just left him to ...
A. 28 May 2018: Your post did make me laugh. Not because of your predicament, because that is no laughing matter but because you think there is even any way you can pass this baby off as your ex's when you are already 4-5 weeks pregnant.
Have you had a word wit... (read in full...)
My boyfriend's over-friendly encounter with his ex has me worried
Q. My boyfriend and i have been together for over a month. He broke up with his ex in January not sure the reason why. I met him in February and by the third week of March we were a couple. Today while in the store with my boyfriend we saw his ex. S...
A. 27 May 2018: This immature bloke dates young girls for good reason: they don't have the experience or confidence to stand up to him. They feel flattered by his immature teasing. Someone his own age would dump his sorry ass if they caught him having this sort of ... (read in full...)
My boyfriend has naked pictures on his phone, am I not pretty enough anymore?
Q. I’ve been with my boyfriend about 5 yrs , and I recently he got cought having naked pictures on his phone , he was showing me a picture that he took and by accident ly I saw those , he said that his friend send those to him , so I said would u like ...
A. 27 May 2018: This has nothing to do with you and is all about HIM. You could be a super model but, if he is the type of guy who wants to have naked pics of women on his phone, he still will.
I personally don't buy the excuse that his mate sent the pics. I ... (read in full...)
I cant stop thinking about my friend
Q. Friends have always been far and few between. Still, I've made a close friend, and I think I'm falling for him? I've always considered myself straight, never thinking about men. Still, I think of my friend and I feel so happy and gushy inside. Like, ...
A. 27 May 2018: In my experience, people fall for people, not for their gender. I keep reading that nobody is 100% gay or straight and that it just takes them to find the right person to change their view of what they are.
There is nothing "wrong" with your fee... (read in full...)
I kissed a girl and my boyfriend didn't like it, what do I do?
Q. My partner and I have been together for 2 and a half years. During this time we've both expressed desires and fantasies in the bedroom and things we want to do. My boyfriend asked if I would have sex/be sexual with a girl while he watched, or have ...
A. 27 May 2018: This was a lesson for BOTH of you - to make it clear that bedroom fantasies STAY in the bedroom.
Moving forward, your boyfriend needs to get over himself and you need to forgive yourself for what was one drunken moment of bad judgement. Spare a ... (read in full...)
I don’t always reach orgasm and he gets upset! Any suggestions so we are both happy and satisfied?
Q. My boyfriend and I have a great sex life, that is even if I have never had an orgasm from intercourse. I need oral or extra attention down there but there have been days when I just can’t orgasm, like just before periods etc.This has never bothered ...
A. 26 May 2018: Either he has been extremely lucky with past girlfriends, is an extremely accomplished lover or has been with a lot of women who told him what he wanted to hear so that he didn't feel disappointed. (I would suspect the latter.)
Perhaps you coul... (read in full...)
I've had it up to here with asshole men and I just want to be a lesbian
Q. Hi DC need a little help here. I really hate men so much. They mistreat me and use me cheat on me and make me feel im not enough for them. I don't think i want to date men again i dont feel any emotion when I am with them. I don't feel much again. ...
A. 26 May 2018: Sorry but that has just made me splutter on my coffee and laugh out loud. Apologies as I am sure this is no laughing matter to you. You do sound like you are having a little hissy fit at your latest relationship not working out though and stating, ... (read in full...)
He doesn't seem interested. Should I just move on?
Q. So, I talked to a guy on plenty of fish for 2 weeks and decided to add him on fb. And now we rarely talk. He will like or heart pics of me but never write me or call me. I always initiate our conversations. Should I just unadd him and move on. I ...
A. 26 May 2018: Trust your gut instinct and stop wasting time on this guy. He may be "really nice and stuff" but, if he is not interested in anything but liking a few photos of you, then there is no future.
If you really like what you know about him so far, you... (read in full...)
I’m completely confused about my feelings for him!
Q. Hello.... i am in the midst of a total dilemma romantically which is being worsened by the fact that i have so little trust in my own feelings and judgement. I've been with my boyfriend for 8 months. He is very kind and lovely, treats me well, is ...
A. 25 May 2018: He's a great guy who deserves someone who is totally INTO him, not someone who already has doubts a few months down the line. This is not going to improve with time. You are only going to feel more trapped and wonder more about alternatives.
Tell ... (read in full...)
Was my co worker trying to start an affair with me?
Q. I'm friendly and cordial to this co worker who works in the same department with me,just like everyone else. He got my number from the office so he texts me outside work when he wants to exchange shifts.However,lately he has been been sendin...
A. 25 May 2018: Well handled.
I would suggest that, going forward, you do not respond to ANY texts he sends you which are not work related. Fine if he is messaging you about changing shifts, etc, but definitely NOT fine asking about anything personal. And defi... (read in full...)
My fiancé is acting different during sex! Is this normal?
Q. I am 29 and a fitness instructor and fiance he is 32 and is a financial analyst. We have a good sex life just til now. Foreplay he was never that much into it but it would still happen. Lately, foreplay is non-existent. Lately, there has be...
A. 25 May 2018: If your sex life is already unsatisfactory, how do you envisage it will be 5 years, 10 years or more down the line? Is that what you want for yourself?
If you two can't communicate about this, then you really need to give serious consider... (read in full...)
I accused my boyfriend of lying and now he won't talk to me
Q. Ok, so I'm not in a really good place right now and I'm hoping for some help. My bf is a super sweet guy but he can also be emotionally distant and introverted. I don't like this part of him and I feel insecure because of it. I'm trying to f...
A. 25 May 2018: So he is married? Wake up and acknowledge he is not YOUR boyfriend; he is SOMEONE ELSE'S HUSBAND.
Given this new information, then I would guess he probably IS lying to you. He is already lying to his wife so why should he treat his bit of spare... (read in full...)
Should I accept the Bible as the final authority on sex before marriage?
Q. I am in the path towards spirituality and I have been reading the Bible and would like to be baptized one day I am not a born again Christian but I realize in the difficult times life has failed me and I need salvation - I need prayer and I nee...
A. 24 May 2018: You will find that, these days, even the clergy interpret the Bible in a "looser" way than previously.
As someone who was brought up a Roman Catholic, complete with threats of eternal damnation if I sinned and didn't repent, I am very cynical ... (read in full...)
I accused my boyfriend of lying and now he won't talk to me
Q. Ok, so I'm not in a really good place right now and I'm hoping for some help. My bf is a super sweet guy but he can also be emotionally distant and introverted. I don't like this part of him and I feel insecure because of it. I'm trying to f...
A. 24 May 2018: My guess is that he is so irritated because he is tired from working long and hard while all you are doing is looking for the tiniest "inconsistency" in his story to trip him up.
You need to decide whether you trust him or not. As you are cons... (read in full...)
Which is more important Love or Sex??
Q. I have been married for 40 years this year. It was only 10 years ago that I discovered my husbands porn stash, he promised me he would never do it again, I believed him, only the cycle continues, he tries to hide it , I find it, he tells me he does ...
A. 23 May 2018: Why not ask your husband how he would feel if you were to go and find sex elsewhere. He's not bothered about your needs because he doesn't think you will find someone else to replace him in that area. He thinks you will just complain occasionally ... (read in full...)
Can a devout Catholic male can be friends with a transgender girl?
Q. I am wondering if it is possible that a devout Catholic male can be friends with a transgender girl (she was born a boy but transition to a girl)? I did not know she was transgender until after we got to know each other. I enjoy her company but...
A. 23 May 2018: If you are a devout Catholic, you will know Jesus befriended the people who were pushed out from society. Had the bible been written in the 20th/21st centuries, I feel sure he would have been befriending people such as your friend.
... (read in full...)
I’m a first time dater and find myself stressing about the romantic/ affectionate part of it!
Q. Does anyone have tips for letting yourself be more romantic/affectionate with someone when it's totally outside of your comfort zone? Been seeing someone for a couple weeks now (first time ever dating) and can tell he wants more from me physical...
A. 22 May 2018: As the saying goes, every man marches to the beat of his own drum. There is no right or wrong speed or timetable for getting intimate with people, especially when it is your first time and it is all new territory and, understandably, terrifying.
... (read in full...)
I don't want to lead her on, but I don't want to flat out reject her as I don't want to hurt her that way either
Q. Dear all I need some advice. I met a girl online several months ago, as a language exchange. That was all I was looking for and her too i believe. We get along great and have learned a lot together. Our personalities are very similar, lots of ...
A. 22 May 2018: My thoughts? If you carry on being so scared and cautious, you are going to miss out on a lot in your life. It already sounds like you have missed out on stuff because you have been so cautious. Nobody goes through life without getting hurt by ... (read in full...)
Anxiety and fear when alone
Q. Hi there. I am going to be staying alone because my fiance is going away for work for 3 nights. I have anxiety and fear being sick (it is something i have had my whole life). This fear is intensified when i am alone. It is probably worse because I ...
A. 20 May 2018: Is there anyone who could come and stay with you for the 3 days? Perhaps a family member, or a friend?
Will you be able to skype or phone your fiance during the 3 days? If he is working during the day, then perhaps in the evening?
Do you ... (read in full...)
Please help to explain to my sister that I am not a monster for looking at porn!
Q. I need the help of the people of DearCupid here. I have been trying to explain to my sister that all guys look at porn one way or another but she wouldn't listen and thinks I am a monster for looking at images of naked women. I have been a role ...
A. 20 May 2018: She is a 15 year old girl who has had a sheltered upbringing. She is far too young to get her head around porn and its implications.
I fail to understand why you had to "defend" yourself by bringing up porn (when you were only looking at "fine ar... (read in full...)
I know I should divorce him but I have no energy to do it!
Q. Hi, i feel very extremely frustrated with my marriage at the moment. We had 30 years together, many of them filled with tragic events and heartbreaking moments. I did have many years of counselling and friends help. But less and less understati...
A. 19 May 2018: In my experience, such as it is, the fear and dread of doing something is often far worse than the actual event or deed. Once you get the ball rolling and start to sort things out, it is not quite the burden you expected.
I would recommen... (read in full...)
He broke up with my but regrets it 1.5 years later. I still love him, but what is the right thing to do?
Q. My ex and I are high school sweethearts and each other’s first love. We had been together for a decade and the last 4 years were long distance. I thought he was the guy I was going to marry and spend the rest of my life with;unfortunately he ...
A. 19 May 2018: Your ex's happiness is not YOUR problem. It is his CHOICE whether he moves on or lingers in the past.
You are in a good healthy relationship now with someone who treats you as you deserve. Do you think you deserve to be messed about and cheated ... (read in full...)
I don’t want to cut off this friend, but his behavior feels selfish and manipulative? Or is it me who is being childish and needy?
Q. I have a friend who I used to consider a best friend. He isa very charming person but also totally hypocritical and self interested, at other times eh can be selfless. We used to spend a lot of time together. Recently, with no notice to me his ...
A. 19 May 2018: There is something I completely fail to understand here. You KNOW what this friend has become. You KNOW he is selfish and a user and only makes time for your friendship when it is convenient for him. Yet you still hang in there, hoping he will ... (read in full...)
I don’t feel a spark with her but I still had sex with her!
Q. Me and this girl broke up a while ago, after about a month she came over to play some video games and chat. It was getting real late and she was getting tired so I offered her to stay the night. During that we began cuddling and making out and it ...
A. 19 May 2018: You are at an age where a "spark" is still very important. If you don't feel that with this girl, do the decent thing and stop having sex with her. Women tend to be unable to separate feelings from sex as easily as men tend to do.
Move on. Find... (read in full...)
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